Author's note:
Bonjour mes amies! I've been polishing mon française verbs past participle etceteras, any of you who have had the extreme pleasure of experiencing these is greatly pitied, except for the fact that I find it fun for some reason because I have no sanity. To CoolMistaria1: You have really painful eczema? You poor person!! I know just how you feel. Soldier on!! Hopefully some smart-ass scientist will find a cure and then we'll be saved from the hassles of it all e.g. not being able to eat certain foods, use certain cleansers/moisturisers/exfoiliaters/waxes/toners/make up/perfumes and soap. Anyway disclaimer time once more: I do not own Legolas or Lord of the Rings, I am but a poor student. But Alice and her family/friends/relations/acquaintances and my ideas are all mine. Bwahahaha. I give you chapter six.
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Chapter 6 – A new stalker, rock climbing and tutors
Alice sat in a state of disorientation. In true blonde theoretic it took her awhile for something in her brain to click – 5 minutes to be exact. That thing was Legolas standing over Greg with a drawn bow.
"Um.." Whimpered Greg, shaking like a leaf.
"Well? An explanation for attacking a young woman is in order Sir Greg," Legolas flared.
"Oh no, oh dear..." Alice babbled hysterically. "Legolas could you calm down and put that bow away because you might hurt someone and Greg please go, please, please go..."
"I'll call you,"
"I won't come to the phone."
"I'll e-mail you then."
"I'll delete it."
"I'll text you."
"I won't reply."
"Jeez Alice..." Greg began.
"Your departure would suit her quite nicely," Growled Legolas. This seemed to unnerve Greg and he took off.
"Oh my god," Alice exclaimed in severe hyperventilation. "Oh my god!" It took her awhile to realise that Legolas was gripping her shoulders and shaking her.
"Are you sound Lady?" He asked. Alice, unsure of what to simply nodded. "Are you certain of that?" Alice shook her head. Legolas put down his weapons and took the shaking girl into his arms and gently held her.
"Can I go home now?" She whimpered, her voice somewhat muffled by his arms. Legolas smiled.
"Of course," He replied. Alice tried to stand but couldn't and collapsed into the grassy ground below. Legolas helped her to her feet and they walked back up the beaten track to Alice's house.
Legolas watched as Alice explained to her mother what happened.
"Oh you poor baby!" Her mother exclaimed with emotion hugging her tightly. "You've had a terrible shock! Come on, let's get you into bed." Alice nodded miserably as her mother took her up the stairs to her room. When she came back downstairs he was immediately questioned on what happened.
"This... Greg tried to harm her, Lady," Legolas replied. "I decided I would follow Alice as it is not fitful for a young lady to be walking alone in forests. I decided to take my weapons as well just in case you had any beasts that needed dealing with."
Lilly raised an eyebrow. "And those weapons were?"
Legolas laid his bow and arrows out on the bench top. "These Lady." This time Lilly didn't raise an eyebrow, but almost had a triple scale heart attack.
"Goodness!" She exclaimed. "Do you... use these?"
"In Mirkwood, Lady, yes," Legolas replied. "At the time when Greg forced himself upon Alice I decided to use them as a threat on Greg's life to frighten him."
"You sound like a hero then Legolas," Lilly said kindly. "I bet that we won't be seeing Greg around here."
But in true style when someone says that, the worse isn't over. In this case it wasn't true. We fast forward to Tuesday evening and at this point Alice had gotten 26 phone calls, 90 text messages, 102 e-mails and 200 IM's from none other than Greg. The phone rang.
"Not again," Mumbled Shari picking up the phone. "Greg, piss off. She won't talk to you." Shari slammed the phone down. Make that 27 calls. Legolas cringed.
"Why does he bother Alice so?" Legolas asked Shari.
"Because he's an egg," Shari replied frankly. Legolas brought up an image of an egg and didn't think that Greg bore any resemblance to something white and oval shaped so he took it that Shari referring to Greg as an egg meant something else entirely. He made mental note to ask Alice what it meant when she returned home. He knew that she was on some rock climbing expedition though he did not know where as he saw no rocks in sight.
"Legolas," Lilly called. "I'm going to pick up Alice from Outdoor club and get something for dinner. Do you want to come?" Legolas nodded.
"What? Don't I get a choice?" Shari protested.
"No Shari, you're only twelve," Lilly replied. "You're not legally allowed to stay home alone yet." (A/N It's a law over here. You're not allowed to legally stay home alone until you're 14) Shari crossed her arms.
Legolas chucked. "Yes I shall accompany you, Lady."
Shari nudged her mother. "I think Leggy liiikes Alice."
"Shari, behave," Ordered her mother. "You know how people don't like being teased." Legolas wondered what Shari was talking about. Yes he liked Alice. Of course he did. She was his friend. Was it such a crime? Unfortunately the elf didn't know the complete subtext of the word 'like' and didn't get it. Oh dear. So Legolas trailed Shari out to one of the unhorsed carts which he had found out was called a car. They rode down the familiar road in the middle of a bush hill that reminded Legolas of the Misty Mountains suddenly making him get very homesick. This land was so much like Middle Earth. They continued on their journey down on to the iron bridge before descending down into the town. They stopped at a large building and got out. Legolas viewed his surroundings, quite puzzled. Where was the rock Alice was supposed to be climbing? He trailed after Shari and Alice's mother into the big tall building. And there on the walls were artificial rocks. He didn't see Alice anywhere until he looked up. There she was, attached to a rope on a huge wall grabbing strange shaped stones that jutted out from the wall.
"Hey Mum! Hey Shari! Hey Legolas!" She called from way up high. She then lost her footing but managed to get up quite quickly and climb the rest of the 14-metre wall. Touching the top three times she yelled to the person at the bottom:
"Ange, can you let me down now?"
"Sure!" the girl replied, releasing the rope. The rope at the top became longer at an exceedingly fast pace.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!!!! ANGELA YOU'RE DEAD!!!!" Alice screamed. Angela stopped releasing the rope and left Alice hanging with a rather nasty wedgie. Legolas heard a few dozen pretty explicit words being released from Alice's mouth. Most of them being ones which he couldn't understand but he figured they were just as bad as the first five which were in common tongue.
"Sorry!" Angela called. "My finger slipped!"
Legolas heard Alice mutter "Sure, sure," somewhat sarcastically. He chuckled. He watched as Alice was manoeuvred to the ground. She unhooked herself from the rope. Legolas noticed her hands were shaking ever so slightly.
"Next time we go rock climbing," Alice told the girl who had had the other end of the rope hooked to her caribina, "I'm going to see how you feel being dropped from 14 metres in the air."
"I'm sorry," Angela said giggling.
"Yes, well, you should be," Alice said mockingly, before both girls giggled mercilessly. Legolas watched, confused. "I better go. See ya tomorrow Ange." She took off her climbing shoes and harness, handed them into the desk and grabbed her normal sneakers and bag with her uniform somewhat folded (or should we say in a great big crumple) and walked out the door.
"Did you have fun?" Lilly asked once they were in the car.
"Yup," Alice replied.
"Do your wrists hurt?"
Alice grinned. "Nope. I learnt not to grip so hard." Legolas grinned. He suddenly remembered something along the lines of Alice's wrists hurting although he did not understand why. Alice hadn't properly explained it.
"Her wrists hurt for a week," Shari informed him. "We nearly took her to the emergency room."
"Oh god, guys, they weren't that bad," Alice scoffed. Lilly, Shari and Legolas turned toward her and nodded.
"Yes they were," they chorused.
Alice was sprawled out asleep over her French verb study. She was awoken by a loud clap in her ear.
"Je suis allé Allemagne en avion," she muttered dreaming she was in French class. Her eyes focused on Legolas. "Sorry Legolas, French verbs. Very boring. I fell asleep."
Legolas chuckled. "I realised. Alice?"
"Yes?"
"Will you tutor me on the ways of your culture?"
Alice looked Legolas. "Of course."
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Was that to your liking? Too sappy, too boring, too unfunny? Anyway. Notes time. In rock climbing. The Caribina is the clip bit on the front of your harness which looks a lot like a tool belt minus the tools. And yes, we do have a law which prohibits under 14s staying home alone, although most ignore it anyway. Well that's it from me, have a nice night, chapter 7 will be along when I revamp it. Toodles!
