Woman's Work
1: Dangers Ahead
a DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka
A/N: This is an action-adventure spoof, starring Aoi (Kaiooshin and Kibito's daughter) , Marron Kuri, and the insane gods of the "real world". They are fighting the evil fangirls…so if you are an evil fangirl, back far, far away if you can't take a joke. –Rivka
Aoi was walking the face of the sacred planet of Kaiooshin-kai, kicking loose pieces of paper across the meadows in nervousness. One of her fathers, the Kaiooshin of the East, looked to be no more than a pathetic husk of a body at this point. She had watched him walk around like a drunkard, weaving to and fro, but what startled her most was that he was not drunk.
Both Aoi and Kibito, the goddess' other father and 'Shin's mate and bodyguard, felt the god's rapid loss of ki, and Kibito ran to assist him, he being the only healer on the planet. Aoi had not inherited that ability, and, looking at her parents, she wished she did…
Or did she?
Every time he attempted to lay hands upon Kaiooshin and heal him, it backfired, and a little bit of his ki escaped into Kibito's hands. 'Shin lay on his belly, screams of unimaginable pain emanating from his mouth.
Kibito, looking at his hands, was stunned he could…or would…do such a thing to the god he loved. Was it his subconscious mind? Or something else, something more sinister? An outside force threatening to tear the very fabric of their being alive? Or that of the Universe?
The tall bodyguard sighed as Kaiooshin struggled to get up; but no amount of muscular force could get him to do so. Even if his arms pushed himself an inch off of the ground, he would collapse, panting.
Kibito's eyes turned to the near-lifeless body. "Kaiooshin-sama…" he whispered. Afraid to touch him because he might drain more energy, Kibito blew him a kiss and hoped it landed in the right spot.
Aoi watched this ordeal, and her body tensed with rage, sadness, a feeling this close to lunacy. Tears flooded from her black almond-shaped eyes.
"OTOOSAMA! NOOOOO!" she screamed, holding her head, down on her knees.
"Ao-chan, I feel it is useless now," Kibito sighed. "Expressing your emotions will not solve this problem…"
"Are you BLIND? Otoosama is very close to death, and all you can tell me is that feelings mean NOTHING?" Aoi cried into her hands some more. "You figure this out by yourself, 'Bito-chichi. I'm going to see Marron-chan…"
As the girl "kai-kai"ed onto Earth, Kibito muttered, "I will never understand teenagers..."
__
Marron Kuri was sitting out behind the Kame House, watching the waves roll in and out, in and out…
Her relaxation was broken by the sudden appearance of Aoi, crying and very nearly out of control.
"Hey, Aoi, what's wrong?" Marron patted her shoulder.
"It's-it's hard to say." Aoi's voice was still choked up with tears. "One of my parents' ki has been stolen…"
"Oh my God!" screamed Marron. "Who would do such a heinous thing?"
Marron's yells threw Aoi into her no-nonsense mode. "I do not know, but they have some sort of unusual motivation. Kibito's healing abilities have reversed as well, and we do not understand the cause. Maybe you could be of assistance…"
"ME?!? On Kaiooshin-kai? Get out of here!" Marron dismissed Aoi's invitation as a flight of fancy.
"I'm serious." Aoi pointed at Marron, and there she was, in traditional Kaiooshin-kai-jin garb: a pale yellow undershirt and pants, a deep pink tunic, white sash and boots, and pink Potaras. "Now, we go." She grabbed Marron and whispered, "Kai-kai".
--
Marron was shocked to see the East Kaiooshin in such a state, with Kibito kneeling next to him, scowling…
But the train of thought of both girls was broken when Roo-Dai waltzed in front of them, Metallica blaring through his headphones.
He took them off for a minute and stared wantonly at Marron. "Damn, Aoi, you sure got yerself a damn pretty friend there! Blond, and her rack ain't bad neither!"
Aoi blushed at the old coot's words, her fists raised into a fighting stance. Marron's brows sunk as she frowned at the old man.
"Excuse me?" the girls yelled in unison.
Looking at Aoi's fists, and remembering she had Kibito's temper, Roo-Dai backed down and said, "Uhhh…nothing…"
"Do you know anything about this? Did you do it?" Aoi yelled. She knew the old coot had a vendetta against her parents, partly because he thought they were idiots, and partly because they were both male, and in HIS day, if you dated another man, or so he said, you would be hung from a tree for all to see.
"Naw, didn't do it. I don't have the strength to do that, nor would I want to. Ease up, all right?"
"Then who did?" asked Marron innocently.
"I've been watchin' this crystal globe over here 'cause Playboy's been getting' nasty reception, and I got a message from Suika-sama…"
"Who is he?" asked Aoi.
"Umm…Suika-sama is a she. Old girlfriend. Supreme god of a parallel world where we're just a comic book and a TV show. She says East Kaiooshin has a lot of female admirers…it's not that, really, but the fact they're very dangerous girls. Says it may be the end of both Universes. I have her on the line if you'd like to talk to her…"
"Umm, no time…" Aoi gasped.
"Fine! Watch the Universe crumble!" Roo-dai stuck out his tongue.
"I don't think you should be acting that way…" boomed a female voice, seeming contained. "I'll just open a portal for these girls…"
"Both of us?" asked Marron. "I can't fight!"
"No big deal, I can teach you. You have a very high ki level, young lady, and I won't let you not use it!" With that, a large portal opened up not two feet from where the girls stood. Both walked in, onto a platform that strangely resembled Earth's Tenkai…
END CHAPTER 1
Chapter 2- meet the bizarre real world Gods!
