Woman's Work
Chapter 3: Welcome to Hell, It's a One-Way Trip
A DBZ fanfiction by Rivka Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah
A/N: Ohhh…so you've decided to be a tough lil' bastard and read this far, eh? Well, I have to warn you. If you cannot take a joke or are very easily offended, for the love of God, leave now. It will only get worse. Honest. –Rivka
As the two of them were about to "kai-kai", Suika called out.
"I forgot to tell you some key things! Wait up!" The girls were frozen in place, paying attention to the Supreme Goddess of Our Universe. "You need to be very careful around her…Akuma is a succubus, which means that, after mating with a man, she devours their soul. Aoi, your father looks like a goner if Akuma gets her filthy hands on him…"
"Yes, either way, even if she doesn't kill him," the Kaiooshin girl sighed. "We are not supposed to get physically intimate, else we die. It is in the best interest of our Universe."
"Geez," sighed Suika, "you Kaiooshin are something else. You can't even have some nooky! For the love of the Universe, I've never heard of such a thing!"
"Moth-ER…!" Akira howled. "How many times in a day must you mention procreation?"
Suika waved an uplifted index finger towards her sons. "Until you two learn to not be suck stiff-necked boors and have some fun!"
The boys sweat-dropped. "Ummm…Mother…"
"Umm, Suika-sama, you said you were going to train me," Marron whispered. "If we're to accomplish everything, I need to know how to fight."
"Child, you will find in your heart how to fight when the time comes. If not, Aoi can contact me telepathically."
"Uhh…yeah…" Aoi trailed off.
"Now, be gone! And good luck! Remember how attractive my sons are!"
The girls groaned, and finally "kai-kai"ed to the Earth's surface, to a neighborhood in the USA where they could feel an unusual presence.
---
They landed in front of a white two-story house, looked rather normal, although the screams and giggles of junior-high-aged girls could be heard within. Curious, Aoi took Marron and "kai-kai"ed to the room in which the girls were, making extra sure to be quiet and well-hidden as not to disturb them.
Peering out from the closet, the two DBZ girls watched in horror as five girls, each between 13 and 15 years of age, many of whom were rather unattractive or wearing braces or thick glasses or whatnot, were screaming at East Kaiooshin on the TV. Some were going so far as to hump the corners every time he came on the screen.
Aoi clenched her fists, trying to restrain her growing anger. Why him? He did nothing wrong. He wasn't, in her opinion, even that good-looking, and she was probably older than him biologically. But she became more angry when she heard the girls loudly boo every time 'Bito-chichi was on the screen. He wasn't even a threat- not in Aoi's mind at least. But, boy, did she ever get MAD.
She punched through the doors of the closet, panting heavily. All five girls were staring at her as if she were the spawn of Satan.
"Who-who the hell are you?" asked a chubby redhead.
"Aoi, the Goddess with Two Fathers," she huffed.
Another girl, this time with blond pigtails, thick brown glasses, and iron-maiden braces, yelled, "I bet you're just some fan character created by some icky yaoi pimp!"
The others behind her made a face. "EWWW! YAOI!"
The goddess scratched her head. "What's a fan character? And what's yaoi, and why don't you like it?"
"A fan character, dumb-ass, is a character not in the show! And yaoi…yaoi…is the single most disgusting thing on Earth!" The girl shuddered.
"Maybe I can help," interjected yet a third, who had short brown hair and was wearing men's clothing. "Amy, you take a rest. Yaoi is…two guys together! HAVING SEX!"
A chorus line of "ewww"'s came from the group of girls.
Aoi scratched her head. "They never HAD sex! My parents never HAD sex!"
"Did they KISS?" hissed Amy.
"Of course they kiss!" hissed Aoi through her teeth, trying her damndest not to rip the blonde girl a new one.
"That's even worse!" squealed the girls in unison as they ran out the lounge-room door.
Marron bent over in Aoi's ear and whispered, "You can't win for losing here…I say just try to locate Akuma and get on with it."
"Right."
All around their feet, pieces of typed-on paper were strewn about. Curious, they decided to have a look… and were HORRIFIED with what they read.
"Every single one of these is about having sex with Otoosama!" yelped Aoi, trying to restrain herself because she felt the girls' ki downstairs.
"Yeah, for not liking sex, these girls are pretty sick, especially that Amy Hamilton one, the blonde with the really bad braces? I mean, read this." Marron, white as a sheet, handed the piece of paper over to her friend.
Upon reading the very first paragraph, she wanted to cry, avenge her parents here. It was about how horny her father was. She was especially pissed that Kibito was treated as a nobody here, and her other father said the word "fuck"! Never in a million years would she hear Otoosama use ANY foul language, especially THAT word. But 'Bito-chichi…well, he was a different story. If you EVER crossed his path, he cursed to himself like a sailor.
Aoi forced herself to read further, and was sickened by all the coarse, degrading terms for parts of the sexual anatomy, as well as Otoosama acting like a total man-whore with the authoress. And the Universe forbid, he wasn't as TALL as the authoress' description said his…umm…SIZE was.
Aoi dropped the paper. This was a very good candidate for Akuma, too good. But she felt she couldn't stay on the planet much longer, not with girls who were so perverted they would send Roo-Dai running for the hills.
So she grabbed Marron and some evidence and "kai-kai"ed back to this Earth's Tenkai, where she hoped Suika-sama would have a stomach pump…
END CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4- More stuff to piss you off, courtesy of Rivka! (Please don't shoot, I have a sensitive brain area.) Like I said earlier, if you feel offended, don't read this, and don't flame me! -Rivka
