Author's note:

Hey all... Ow. My stomach has just tightened up and is feeling very uncomfortable. I saw Spiderman yesterday, it rocks, but not anywhere near as much as LOTR does. Which reminds me. If you want to be truly pedantic it's approximately 6 months, 10 days, 13 hours and 15 minutes until The Two Towers is released in movie theatres. And it's 6 hours, 10 days, 7 hours and 15 minutes until the Australasian premiere or World premiere I can't remember which. Which means it's only 6 months, 9 days, 13 hours and 15 minutes until Wellington is dubbed Middle Earth again. This year I'm going to get a camera and take photos of all the Middle Earth signs around and about. And try to get tickets to the premiere from Steph of course, so I can meet Orlando Bloom. Because Orlando Bloom played Legolas and he's gracing the walls of my bedroom so you know, he's just a god. Anyway, disclaimer: No I don't own Legolas, Thranduil, Sindarin or LOTR or the song Flagpole Sitter and Harvey Danger (thank god) but I own everything else in this fanfic.


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Chapter 14

For some reason unknown to her, Alice was dancing down the halls of the Elven King and singing Nat King Cole's 'L-O-V-E' and getting very strange looks from passing servants, but she didn't care. Sure she was singing a song that was originally written in the thirties for a tenor/baritone, and doing a rendition of a dance she'd learnt when she was nine, but hey her life her rules right? She was doing a turn in the air that she'd been trying to perfect for years. She landed on her feet and grinned. Woo! She'd finally got it after 7 years of practice! Her happiness only lasted for all of about thirty seconds however, when she lost her balance and fell into Legolas, nearly knocking him over.

"Opps," Alice said. "Sorry Legolas."

"You seem to be in wonderful humour this morning," Legolas remarked.
"Why of course," Alice cried. "Le ciel est bleu et le soleil brille!" Legolas looked confused before he realised Alice was speaking French.

"The world seems to be working perfectly then," He said, smiling.
"Why of course," Alice replied. "I'm in it! Ha ha! And I'm on a high. It'll slowly wear off, don't worry..." Legolas chuckled. "Anyway where are you off to?"

"I am heading toward the practice courts," Alice looked confused. "Archery. Care to join me?" Alice's eyes lit up.

"Yeah!"

The fact that Alice hadn't laid a finger on a bow since Year 9 camp at Kaiteriteri didn't seem to matter. Archery to her was a form of entertainment.
"Do you know how to wield a bow?" He asked.

"Of course I do," She scoffed picking one up. "If I remember correctly... You hold the arrow with your non-writing hand to guide it... Hold the string thing with that hand to pull the arrow, and you put the arrow thing between your forefinger and your thumb and release." She released the arrow and it hit the edge of the bulls' eye. Legolas's eyebrows rose.
"Very good," He approved.
"Fluke," Alice replied. "Let's see if I can repeat it." The second arrow hit not far from the first, this time in the middle of the bulls' eye. Legolas's eyebrows rose even more.

"You tell me it has been two years since you put a hand to a bowstring bain nîn," He stated. Alice nodded. "You must have done many hours to have this much skill."

"Um, actually..." Alice replied sheepishly. "It was all of about twenty minutes... it's a total fluke of nature. I'm sure it'll pass. Can I see you have a go now?" Legolas smiled, taking the bow from her small hands. Alice watched as 4 simultaneous arrows made a tight quadrangle round the bulls' eye. She forced the urge to pout and glare at him irritably as she knew it was pointless. He'd probably trained for hours on end and she'd only done twenty minutes maximum. Of course, her head was threatening to turn into one big aching pain, as she'd actually been foolish enough to try and follow all his quick, light and graceful movements. Oh man. Why did she not steal Carry's painkillers before she left? Unfortunately the most ironic song came into her head, as they do, at that time along the lines of 'I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot, cos I'm in hell. I'm not sick but I'm not well, and it's a sin to live so well' that she had heard on Channel Z once. She recalled the song to be Flagpole Sitter by Harvey Danger and genuinely thought at the time that the person who wrote it was on every single illegal substance from here to Mexico. Suddenly, she managed to comprehend what Legolas had done and clapped courteously. Legolas bowed.

"You win," Alice conceded. "I will never compare."

"You have had many less hours practice," Legolas pointed out. "I would not expect you to have my skill."

"Yeah still..." Alice trailed off. "Don't mind me. I'm just a perfectionist." A frown crossed her face remembering the many mad hours she'd spent striving for perfection.

"Would you like to try once more?" He asked. Alice sighed and reached for the bow and arrows. She shot again and the arrow fell to the far left of the target.

"Ha!" She cried. "I was RIGHT. Told you it was a fluke."

"I am sure you shall improve," Legolas replied smiling. "If you keep under my tutelage of course." This sent many sub textual messages to Alice's brain that most likely did not exist. "You need not work on your technique, just your aim." The sub text just got too much. Alice burst into giggles.

"I'm sorry," She gasped.

"May I ask what is so funny?" Legolas asked bemusedly and saw Alice's face go a fluorescent shade of red.

"Never mind," Alice mumbled. "It was just the way you worded that sentence." Confused looks came her way. "Oh, it may imply unintended meaning."

"What unintended meaning may that be?"

Alice took a deep breath in. "Just... um... er... something really not nice."

Legolas nodded. "Ah."

Another evening and another feast in Mirkwood were ahead. This time Alice was clothed in an elaborate emerald green gown made of a material which looked exactly like velvet but felt as light as silk, and trimmed with silver, and as she noticed, much like the elves around her. She was seated next to Legolas tonight which she knew was on purpose. Not that she minded of course. But presently she was rather confused about the boy who, like most, was sending her mixed messages. Much to her utter discomfort. Sure he had kissed her. Twice. Yes that changed things just a tad, putting it mildly. But since then he hadn't bothered to since. Ugh. Why couldn't romance just for once be like those in Mills and Boon novels or Mary Sue stories? Romance was all easy and plain as the nose on ones face in that non-existent little word. Easy and plain things were good. It was easy for a blonde like her to understand. Right now however, she was ready to tear out her blonde hair as the people who had been trying to turn her hair into something magnificent had failed in her eyes. All Alice wanted to do right now was get a large floppy hat and hide under it. She wondered why everyone was sending her looks of admiration. Her hair was awful. At one point in the evening when everyone had begun dancing Calenawar sat next to her.
"Why are you not dancing?" She demanded. "Plenty are asking who you may be."
"I hate this sort of dancing," Alice replied. "Can't do it, too evil. Dancing back in Higher Earth was far less complicated."

"Then why not dance with Legolas?" She wanted to know. Alice jerked her thumb toward Legolas who was dancing with another elf maiden who, if she was in the 21st century, would be the next Elle McPherson.
"He does not like Elwaeglos. She only requires him to dance with her at all social functions," Calenawar told her. "Come. I must have you dance. I would not fulfil my duty otherwise." And before Alice could protest Calenawar took her by the arm into the throng of people.

"Hello sister," Legolas said calmly. "Greetings Lady Lindelë." Alice wanted to scream at him for calling her that. "May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?"

"Um..." Alice began to protest.

"Of course," Calenawar said. "She has been awaiting your request all night." Alice glared at Calenawar who just winked infuriatingly at her. Alice gritted her teeth as Legolas took her hands and led her on to the ballroom floor.
"I don't know this dance," She protested.

"Follow my lead," Legolas whispered.

"You know I'm not the most co-ordinated person in the world!" She hissed back. "How am I going to follow your lead without paralysing you?"

He chuckled. "You will learn Alice," To her surprise the dance wasn't too bad. Legolas pretended not to notice when she trampled his toes and no one else seemed to, so in Alice's words it was "All good".

That night she also met her grandparents. Let's just say Alice was surprised. Ok, so that's putting it mildly, but bear in mind Alice had imagined the stereotype grandma and grandpa, grey haired, practically eighty and telling you old rugby stories or baking you cookies and telling you how you were too thin and not taking care of yourself properly. When you have held on to this for years then seeing someone who looks to be about thirty five who sits next to you and introduces herself as your grandmother, it seems perfectly natural to face fault and practically fall of your chair. Her grandmother's reaction was a mere chuckle.
"I see you have inherited your mother's manner in which to deal with matters of importance," She said with mirth twinkling in her eyes. Alice thought that this woman should be walking down the catwalk. Her hair was basically liquefied gold, like most elves Alice had noticed. And, not surprisingly, her name was Mallengiel.

"I-I-I t-think so," Alice stammered stupidly.

"You need not be afraid of me Lindelë," Mallengiel reassured her.

"I'm not afraid of you," Alice babbled. "I was just surprised to meet you that's all."

Mallengiel smiled. "I see you and our Elven Prince are quite friendly." Alice forced all traces of blushing down her neckline. She once again attempted the smile and nod tactic, the expert technique of Public Relation agencies everywhere.
"Hmmm yes I know him," Alice lied off-handily and naturally so Mallengiel wouldn't suspect a thing. But Mallengiel being about 3500 years old had seen the world and was wiser than most humans Alice was used to non maliciously lying her ass off to (Alice was planning to go into Public Relations after her transfer to Middle Earth).

"How so?" Mallengiel wanted to know grinning wickedly. "Child, I know many things you are not aware that I know. Legolas's reception of you is one he has made to no other and I have been in his acquaintance since he was an elf-child." Alice's blush crept up her neck. "Are you pledged in love?"

"Um.. well..." Alice stammered. "Sort of..."

"You need not tell untruths child," She soothed. "Be best to remember loving royalty is not the best profession." A misty look glazed Mallengiel's eyes for a split second before she masked it with a charming smile. "So what is the elven prince's character away from the hordes?" The wicked smile returned to Mallengiel's face. Alice was about to fill her in on the gory details when there was a crash outside. A short, scrawny brunette stood up and brushed off her figure stubbornly. Alice's eyes bulged out of her head.
"Oh my god!" Alice exclaimed. "Is that Devon Stewart?!"

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Well, another cliff hanger. I just HAD to slot Devon in there. It was too hard to resist. She was part of the stealing-my-flute incident earlier this year. It wasn't the fact that the flute costs $2000 bucks all up, but it was the fact that she was being nice as pie to my face and pretending to be all friendly and charming while she was going behind my back and stealing my flute then hiding it in a fire hydrant for the night while I didn't get a wink of sleep because that flute is my life basically. It's one of the two most important things I own, the other being my favourite grandma (who died 2 years ago)'s ring. And then surprise, surprise she handed it back to me the next day. I thought the culprit had returned it. So today when we did this stealing survey (because lots of other people's stuff has gone missing) I said I'd had something stolen over 30 bucks and Devon knew it was my flute so she came up to me and went "How dare you say your flute was stolen!! It wasn't stolen Aimee, get over it. I put it in the fire hyderant for a prank." So naturally I asked why. And she said "Because you're YOU." And I was like "Well I can't help it. You have issues with it, deal with it." So in order to get this all off my chest, she's going to be a future evil character in my story, because of her malicious evil-ness, and this is sort of my way of getting her back without getting in trouble.

Anyway notes time.

Mallengiel = Gold star. Lame I know. I'll work on it. Well that's it from me. Toodles!!