I don't own Arnold and all that stuff
Chapter 2: The Lady Lila
"Arnold, Arnie, and their friends were hanging around outside the school a few days later. In spite of Arnold's warnings, Arnie still wanted to see Lila. As school ended, Arnold looked to see an entourage of girls and guys surrounding someone... Most of the girls were smoking, as usual. Arnold typically left around this time, if he wanted his lungs to stay intact, but he agreed to stay for Arnie."
GUY CROWD
They come, the girls, the beautiful girls. Our eyes, they follow the smoke, from the air, to their pretty mouths. Nothing more lovely, nothing more enticing. The smoke, it holds words, words of lovers, words of gossip, as it reaches towards the sky. Hark, here comes their leader, the Lady Lila!! Oh, little Lila...
"Lila was an enticing sight to behold. Her hair was no longer in little bows, it flowed freely down her back. Her old freckles were now a minority on her face, but there were some, and they served to make her look even younger, and cuter. She wore a long, red dress that kept her covered, but made her shapely figure apparent."
GUY CROWD
Lila, Lila!! Sweet Lila, on this day please tell us, we all implore you, who do you love?
LILA
*sigh* Who I love, let it be known, is not amongst you.
GUY CROWD
Please, sweet Lila, then tell us, when will you love us?
LILA
I know not if I'll ever love any of you...
"Arnie shoved his way through the crowd, and bowed in front of her."
ARNIE
Lila, you're even prettier than I imagined.
LILA
Who is this that presents himself so boldly to me?
"Most of the guys started yelling at Arnie to get out of the way, but a raven-haired beauty that stood next to Lila spoke first."
RHONDA
Do you not remember this boy? It is Arnold's cousin...
LILA
I seem to recall. When I was a child, I fell for him, didn't I?
ARNIE
Yes, and I ask you please, do you still love me.
"Lila hesitated for a moment, and then kept walking. Arnie followed her..."
ARNIE
You answer me not, do your actions reflect your thoughts?
LILA
This I must think of...
"Lila then saw Arnold, who was sitting on a bench reading a book. He was the only guy not fawning over her."
LILA
Aaaa.... Love, it is a rebellious thing, it knows no law. My heart, it works mysteriously, to those who love me, I feel, I feel...
ARNIE
Yes?
LILA
Nothing. But to the one who shows me no love, it is he who pleases me.
"There was a hush, followed by several gasps. Arnold took his eyes off his book, and looked directly into Lila's soft blue ones. He was transfixed at first, but then snapped back into reality and spoke."
ARNOLD
Umm... That's really nice Lila, but I, um...
LILA
*sigh* Love, love, love, love...
EVERYONE
Love knows no law, he keeps silent, and it pleases her.
ARNOLD
I'm sorry Lila, I just don't feel that way...
LILA
You please me even more, your lack of love, if you don't love me, then I love you...
ARNOLD
Then, what's the point?
LILA
You will see, for if I love you, then prend garde à toi*!
EVERYONE
Prend garde à toi!! Your lack of love pleases her, she loves you more...
"Arnold looked at the crowed, and looked back at Lila, he started smirking, much to the dismay of a very angry Arnie. Lila smiled back, and danced away from him, her entourage following her. She pulled a rose out of her hair, and threw it back at him, then continued her journey. He bent over to pick it up..."
REMAINING CROWD
Prend garde à toi Arnold!
"Helga and Phoebe were watching this the whole time..."
HELGA
That little jerk!!! Does he even deserve this thing?
"She held out a letter."
PHOEBE
I'll admit I'm surprised Arnold took the flower, but if you don't give him that letter nothing is ever going to get done.
HELGA
*sigh* I hate it when you are right and it means I have to do something embarrasing. All right, I'm going... Hey Arnold!!!
"Phoebe slipped away as Arnold walked in their direction. She nodded to Gerald, who proceeded to lead Arnie away from them."
ARNOLD
Hello Helga, how do you fare?
HELGA
I am doing very well, football head. I have some gifts for you from your mother. This letter, some money, and something else...
ARNOLD
What?
HELGA
Just read the letter!
"Dear Arnold,
How are you? Your friend Helga is very sweet, as usual. I don't know where'd I be without her. She has told me a lot of things, about you, and about her. I needed that, I didn't get to ask you enough questions during our last visit. I cannot believe all the wonderful, heroic things you've been during your whole life. Anyway, your aunt's asking about your cousin. He is a strange one I'll admit, Helga made fun of him at first, but then she stopped, I think she felt sorry for him or something. I heard all about those things you did, you know, saving your tree, finding that man's daughter, saving that turtle with your grandma...
Most of the letter was just praising Arnold for his good deeds, until he finally saw something that interested him.
Helga would kill me if she found out I wrote this part. She's done some things for you that you don't know about. She is a very nice girl, and I think she might have a crush on you. I don't wanna be choosing your girl for you and all, but just think about it."
ARNOLD
Aaahh... Well, that's that, I guess, so what is the last thing you have for me?
HELGA
Tis quite embarrasing. I fear for you, that flower you hold in your pocket.
ARNOLD
What this? I am still unsure of its meaning for me.
HELGA
Please Arnold, be careful!!
ARNOLD
All right, now, what is the last thing from my mother.
"She hesitated, then bent over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He stood there shocked as she quickly ran away."
ARNOLD
Helga, wait!!!
"Arnold really didn't know why he went to his grandpa for advice. He never told him anything good. Perhaps it helped him clear his mind, who knew..."
GRANDPA
Well, that is a humdinger isn't it? I guess the question is whether you like her or not.
ARNOLD
Sometimes she is so kind and sweet, and other times she is so cruel...
GRANDPA
You haven't answered the damn question!!
ARNOLD
I know not the answer!
GRANDPA
Then figure it out!!
"That was the extent of his Grandpa's advice. Arnold was sitting up in his room, listening to music. He read the letter again."
ARNOLD
Mother... I don't even know her... I wonder...
"Arnold opened a box in the back of his closet. Inside was a red shoe and a pink book. He looked at them for a second, and started reading the book He laughed, they were so corny, but what could you expect from a nine year old."
ARNOLD
Hmm... I wonder...
"The next day, Arnold was smiling to himself. Arnie was scowling at him. As they were getting off the bus, he talked with his cousin."
ARNOLD
I'm not going to court Lila.
ARNIE
Really? That's good.
ARNOLD
Is that all you have to say. I am going to ask Helga if I may court her.
GERALD
HELGA!! Helga Pataki!?!
ARNOLD
I'll tell you all about it later. As for Lila, well...
"He couldn't finish his last sentence as it was cut off by a piercingly, high-pitched scream..."
*prend garde à toi - keep guard on yourself
Chapter 2: The Lady Lila
"Arnold, Arnie, and their friends were hanging around outside the school a few days later. In spite of Arnold's warnings, Arnie still wanted to see Lila. As school ended, Arnold looked to see an entourage of girls and guys surrounding someone... Most of the girls were smoking, as usual. Arnold typically left around this time, if he wanted his lungs to stay intact, but he agreed to stay for Arnie."
GUY CROWD
They come, the girls, the beautiful girls. Our eyes, they follow the smoke, from the air, to their pretty mouths. Nothing more lovely, nothing more enticing. The smoke, it holds words, words of lovers, words of gossip, as it reaches towards the sky. Hark, here comes their leader, the Lady Lila!! Oh, little Lila...
"Lila was an enticing sight to behold. Her hair was no longer in little bows, it flowed freely down her back. Her old freckles were now a minority on her face, but there were some, and they served to make her look even younger, and cuter. She wore a long, red dress that kept her covered, but made her shapely figure apparent."
GUY CROWD
Lila, Lila!! Sweet Lila, on this day please tell us, we all implore you, who do you love?
LILA
*sigh* Who I love, let it be known, is not amongst you.
GUY CROWD
Please, sweet Lila, then tell us, when will you love us?
LILA
I know not if I'll ever love any of you...
"Arnie shoved his way through the crowd, and bowed in front of her."
ARNIE
Lila, you're even prettier than I imagined.
LILA
Who is this that presents himself so boldly to me?
"Most of the guys started yelling at Arnie to get out of the way, but a raven-haired beauty that stood next to Lila spoke first."
RHONDA
Do you not remember this boy? It is Arnold's cousin...
LILA
I seem to recall. When I was a child, I fell for him, didn't I?
ARNIE
Yes, and I ask you please, do you still love me.
"Lila hesitated for a moment, and then kept walking. Arnie followed her..."
ARNIE
You answer me not, do your actions reflect your thoughts?
LILA
This I must think of...
"Lila then saw Arnold, who was sitting on a bench reading a book. He was the only guy not fawning over her."
LILA
Aaaa.... Love, it is a rebellious thing, it knows no law. My heart, it works mysteriously, to those who love me, I feel, I feel...
ARNIE
Yes?
LILA
Nothing. But to the one who shows me no love, it is he who pleases me.
"There was a hush, followed by several gasps. Arnold took his eyes off his book, and looked directly into Lila's soft blue ones. He was transfixed at first, but then snapped back into reality and spoke."
ARNOLD
Umm... That's really nice Lila, but I, um...
LILA
*sigh* Love, love, love, love...
EVERYONE
Love knows no law, he keeps silent, and it pleases her.
ARNOLD
I'm sorry Lila, I just don't feel that way...
LILA
You please me even more, your lack of love, if you don't love me, then I love you...
ARNOLD
Then, what's the point?
LILA
You will see, for if I love you, then prend garde à toi*!
EVERYONE
Prend garde à toi!! Your lack of love pleases her, she loves you more...
"Arnold looked at the crowed, and looked back at Lila, he started smirking, much to the dismay of a very angry Arnie. Lila smiled back, and danced away from him, her entourage following her. She pulled a rose out of her hair, and threw it back at him, then continued her journey. He bent over to pick it up..."
REMAINING CROWD
Prend garde à toi Arnold!
"Helga and Phoebe were watching this the whole time..."
HELGA
That little jerk!!! Does he even deserve this thing?
"She held out a letter."
PHOEBE
I'll admit I'm surprised Arnold took the flower, but if you don't give him that letter nothing is ever going to get done.
HELGA
*sigh* I hate it when you are right and it means I have to do something embarrasing. All right, I'm going... Hey Arnold!!!
"Phoebe slipped away as Arnold walked in their direction. She nodded to Gerald, who proceeded to lead Arnie away from them."
ARNOLD
Hello Helga, how do you fare?
HELGA
I am doing very well, football head. I have some gifts for you from your mother. This letter, some money, and something else...
ARNOLD
What?
HELGA
Just read the letter!
"Dear Arnold,
How are you? Your friend Helga is very sweet, as usual. I don't know where'd I be without her. She has told me a lot of things, about you, and about her. I needed that, I didn't get to ask you enough questions during our last visit. I cannot believe all the wonderful, heroic things you've been during your whole life. Anyway, your aunt's asking about your cousin. He is a strange one I'll admit, Helga made fun of him at first, but then she stopped, I think she felt sorry for him or something. I heard all about those things you did, you know, saving your tree, finding that man's daughter, saving that turtle with your grandma...
Most of the letter was just praising Arnold for his good deeds, until he finally saw something that interested him.
Helga would kill me if she found out I wrote this part. She's done some things for you that you don't know about. She is a very nice girl, and I think she might have a crush on you. I don't wanna be choosing your girl for you and all, but just think about it."
ARNOLD
Aaahh... Well, that's that, I guess, so what is the last thing you have for me?
HELGA
Tis quite embarrasing. I fear for you, that flower you hold in your pocket.
ARNOLD
What this? I am still unsure of its meaning for me.
HELGA
Please Arnold, be careful!!
ARNOLD
All right, now, what is the last thing from my mother.
"She hesitated, then bent over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He stood there shocked as she quickly ran away."
ARNOLD
Helga, wait!!!
"Arnold really didn't know why he went to his grandpa for advice. He never told him anything good. Perhaps it helped him clear his mind, who knew..."
GRANDPA
Well, that is a humdinger isn't it? I guess the question is whether you like her or not.
ARNOLD
Sometimes she is so kind and sweet, and other times she is so cruel...
GRANDPA
You haven't answered the damn question!!
ARNOLD
I know not the answer!
GRANDPA
Then figure it out!!
"That was the extent of his Grandpa's advice. Arnold was sitting up in his room, listening to music. He read the letter again."
ARNOLD
Mother... I don't even know her... I wonder...
"Arnold opened a box in the back of his closet. Inside was a red shoe and a pink book. He looked at them for a second, and started reading the book He laughed, they were so corny, but what could you expect from a nine year old."
ARNOLD
Hmm... I wonder...
"The next day, Arnold was smiling to himself. Arnie was scowling at him. As they were getting off the bus, he talked with his cousin."
ARNOLD
I'm not going to court Lila.
ARNIE
Really? That's good.
ARNOLD
Is that all you have to say. I am going to ask Helga if I may court her.
GERALD
HELGA!! Helga Pataki!?!
ARNOLD
I'll tell you all about it later. As for Lila, well...
"He couldn't finish his last sentence as it was cut off by a piercingly, high-pitched scream..."
*prend garde à toi - keep guard on yourself
