Cowboy Dogma

Rated PG-13 or R (I'm not very good at rating....course I don't really care that much either !_! )

Can you hardly believe it! This fic is a crossover (or more along the lines of a character incorporation) of the Cowboy Bebop characters placed into the basic scenario of Dogma. And of course Cowboy Bebop doesn't belong to me and neither does Dogma. ::mumbles curse words::

I recieved the idea after I first seen Dogma. I thought..."WOW that was a good movie!" then I thought..."WOW Jay and Silent Bob kinda reminds me of Ed and Ein!" then I thought..."WOW Spike kinda reminds me of the metatron!" And it was then that I decided to create this. I know i'm not very good at emplementing and mending stories but I think it will come out alright. Enjoy!!!


Ch. 1

Laughing Bull sits on the beach grasping a handful of sand and letting the breeze carry it from his bony hand. He stares in disbelief and frowns at the way it shifts. Remaining calm he stared off into the sunset and began humming a toon. Three old guys clumsly skate into the background, hockey sticks used as canes. They try to keep their balance but refuse to hold on to one another for support.

::Eerie sound eminates from somewhere::

The three skate up VERY sneakily .....::note sarcasm::.... and start wacking Laughing Bull! He submits and allows the severe beating. "hehehehe. This is better than playin cards dats fer sure."says Antonio. "Yah but just like cards you suck at this too!" remarks Jobin. "....." Carlos just keeps beating Laughing Bull.

"Good morning all! I am here to unveil a great new symbol." Doctor Londes greets from the monitor behind a podium before what looks to be a press conference but is hardly anything of extreme importance as reporters look bored and unimpressed. "Now we all know how Ganymede and pretty much the entire galaxy think about the Holy Rendition that is SCRATCH." The screen blurs out for a moment only to come back instantly. "People think that we are merely a cult and are pretty much a hoax!....ahem....Well what I hope to project today is a new outlook for those that doubt our ambitions." A cameraman nearly falls asleep but manages to jerk back awake causing the camera to pan and then come back into focus on Londes. "We would like to present the new symbol for SCRATCH that will bring about a new outlook towards the truth of SCRATCH. I give to you....." Two men dressed entirely in black walk over to a cloth covered pedestal, pulling the cover off revealed. "The Buddy Ronny!!!" A bright beam of sunlight hit the shiny statue of Ronny. The press lazily clap as if in a remote controlled state.

Gren and Sister Clara are walking down the Venus spaceport conversing about THE subject. "Why do I not believe in religion? It's quite simple really." Gren undoes his shirt buttons and reveals the two boobies. "Ooooo my goodness!" Sister Clara ran off in bedazzlement. Gren strolls over to where his parter sits watching a couple make out after not seeing each other for a prolonged amount of time. "You are extremely fucked up you know that?" observes Gren as he sits beside the gauking silver head. " That coming from a guy who just showed a nun his tits." smirked Vicious. "Whatever, what I don't get about you is why you always have the urge to come to this place all the time.". "That's simple." answered Vicious. " I love to watch people make fools of themselves. Like that couple right there." Points to the two lovers engaging in some serious tonsil hockey. "What he doesn't know is she cheated on him while she was away. The guy waited so patiently for her to come back and while she had the time of her life with a guy named Bob. THIS is the true evil of the human soul and this place reeks of it." Gren baffled at the twisted mind his comrade has. "So this is why you called me out her this morning huh?. For your little Lovie Dovie moments you made me miss Excel Saga...for this shit?!?" Gren eyeballed the syndicate evangelist as he pulled out a strip of newspaper. "I recieved this in the mail.We're gonna have the syndicate." Vicious handed the anticipating Gren a torn piece of newspaper. "SCRATCH leader opens doorway in hyperspace to free soul of any past misdeeds. So?" Minutes pass as the dumbfound Gren stared at the unresponsive Vicious. "I think I'll read the rest of it. Red Dragon puts major stock into the new SCRATCH foundation. Wow now that's a shock. So what's the plan?" Gren and Vicious while walking out of the port converse the matter. "So your saying all we gotta do is go through the cyber holy doors and we are rid of our sins so we can die and go to heaven right?" Vicious gives a very insulting look at Gren. "Sometimes I wonder why I even associate with you. The plan is this. We go to the hospital that the origin of Doctor Londes is at and annihilate Ronny Spanngen, the source of the doc. Upon achieving that goal SCRATCH stock will plummet resulting in the old pricks at the Red Dragon Syndicate to be distracted at losing all that money. Placing a great weakness upon the bald headed bastards of Van." Gren stared off into space."Holy hell! You are a.... GENIUS!"

Julia is working diligently on some paper work at her office. She hears the picketers outside protesting abortion. "If only they knew." She mumbled to herself. Tears rolled down her cheek as she reminds herself that she doesn't even KNOW anymore. Julia's faith wasn't enough to suffice these days. At home she got dressed in her pajama's and prayed at the foot of her bed. Getting into bed she get's half-way asleep when she smells smoke. Just as soon as she realizes this she hears a stumble. Taking no chances she reaches under her bed pulling out a bat. A ball of smoke booms at the base of her bed. In an echoing great voice she hears a man say "I am the true voice of God. Behold the Metatron, the Voice of the Almighty!" Julia rolls out of bed and rushes to the bathroom coming out armed with a blowdryer. She turns it on full blast and blows the smoke away revealing a puffy haired man in a stunning suit. "HHHEEEYYY! Stop it! Stop it!" he bellows. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!!!" Demands Julia griping the bat, prepared to swing. "Awww man. Look at my damn suit!" Julia yells "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!.....NOW!!!" seconds pass while the mysterious man fixes his suit. "Or you'll do what? Hit me with that ...fffffish" The bat Julia once held amazingly was now a giant fish! She dropped it in disgust."Now just sit down and shut up!" still enraged over his suit. "Look take whatever you want just don't kill or rape me." "One, Your not my type and two, Angel's aren't equipped if you know what I mean." He pulls down his pants to reveal absolutely nothing. "See. I was atotomically impaired as a kendal." Julia stares in disbelief. "Now make yourself useful and throw me that towel. Honestly, your kind are so arrogant it makes me sick. You think everyone is trying to get in your bush!" he says as he dries himself off. "What are you?" Enquires Julia. "I'm pissed off is what I am!" he replies. "Do you dry everyone that comes into your room with a blowdrier? No wonder your the least favorite character of the series! ...OK watch this." He then puts on a face of concentration. "OOh hold on a sec." he says while he pulls a cigarette out of his ear and lights it. " BEHOLD!!!" Two large white wings protrude from his back. "Not as big as wing zero's but they serve their purpose." He takes a drag on his cigarette. "I AM THE METATRON!!! Also known as Spike!" His voice echoed through out the room. "You have got to be kidding me. Tell me you've heard of me." Julia slowly slides her head from left to right. "You people....If there isn't an anime about it then it's not worth knowing now is it? I am a Seraphim! The highest choir of angels!" impatiently Spike adds. "You do know what an angel is don't you?" Julia nods her head. "The Metatron acts as the Voice of God! Any document that some idiot claims that he spoke to God is speakin to me." Julia counters."Why doen't God speak for himself?" "I'm so glad to hear your responding. To answer that, Human beings do not have the physical nor the mental capacity to withstand the awsome power that is held within God's true voice. If you did hear it your mind would instantly become equivalent of Bill Clinton's and your heart would explode. We went through three Evas before we figured that one out."

Ch. 2

......... If you liked it then rate it. If you hate then rate it. If you wanna see more tell me about it! I don't know about you but I can't wait to see who God is....................

::Cowboy Bebop Intermission Screen::
"More chapters to come" claims Jet