Part Five

The Scoobies watched, surprised.

"Okay. Wasn't expecting that," Xander said.

"Shouldn't someone follow him?" Dawn asked.

Buffy shook her head, "I...I think we should leave him alone right now."

He missed his classes today. But, strangely, Will found a part of him really didn't care. He was also surprised that another part of him, after the magic shop, immediately demanded a drink. He didn't remember being much of a drinker. But, then, those memories weren't real, were they, he told himself. No, your real memories are of vampires, Slayer, Hellmouths, and Apocalypses.

So, anyway, that part of him that demanded a drink led him to nearest bar. And that was currently where he still was. He sat and the bar in front of five other shot glasses. He lifted the sixth one and downed it. He drunkenly placed it back on the bar, knocking down the others.

The bartender looked at him, an exasperated look on his face.

"Hey, bartender, another," Will said, pointing to the empty glasses in front.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" a voice said next to him.

He shook his head, "Nope." He pointed again and the bartender reluctantly filled another.

"So what's got you so worked up that you need to get so drunk you forget your name?"

Will looked at the woman in the seat next to him. He laughed callously, "I don't even know which name I'm supposed to forget."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her, "If you're looking for a one night shag, you should just forget it. Apparently, my heart belongs to another."

"I'm not looking for anything. You just look like you could use someone to talk to."

He studied her, making sure she was for real.

"Tell me what's wrong," she said.

He sighed and suddenly found himself revealing all. "All I knew my entire life was England. London. I was supposed to just go through school, get a normal job, marry, have children... Nothing out of the ordinary. But...one day, I wake up and decide I want to go to America. California, specifically. So I pack my bags, hop on a plane and fly here. And here is where I met her. And now my entire life is crashing down all around me and all I can do is stand by and watch.

"It started with dreams. I could deal with those. Tell myself that's all they were. Dreams. Nothing more. But, as luck would have it, turns out they're not. Instead, they're memories. That's what she and her little friends tell me. I'm some man named Spike. But, you see, this Spike has a little surprise. He's not a man, but a vampire."

Will laughed again. "He apparently died saving his love during an Apocalypse. Evidently those aren't all that uncommon either. But, of course, some Higher Power can't leave this poor Spike alone. They decide to bring him back. But with a twist. As a human with none of his memories, but a whole new set all his own."

He looked at the woman, "So, you can see my bloody problem."

He turned away and called for the bartender once more.

"I think you've had enough to drink," she said, motioning for the bartender to continue cleaning his counters.

Will snorted, "Whatever." He dropped a few bills on the bar and left, walking unsteadily.

Later that night, Buffy decided to take a detour from patrolling. She knew she didn't have a reason to, but she headed for Spike's crypt. Something inside her told her to go there. And so she did.

Imagine her surprise when she entered and found William seated on the sarcophagus.

"Will?" she asked quietly as she approached him.

His head jerked toward her. She saw tears in his eyes. Down his cheeks.

"Will? What's wrong?" she asked, sitting next to him.

"I've hurt so many. Killed so many.... There was this one time... It was after the war. Europe still devastated and all... I was with some vamp... don't remember her name... Stark raving mad though.... She took a liking for orphans. Said something about their sadness and fear making their blood taste sweet. I remember going out of my way to please her. Found an orphanage in Germany."

He closed his eyes and shuddered, "I remember their screams as she and I tore through them. One at a time. I...I remember the feeling of the limp bodies as I drank their blood..."

He looked at her, "Buffy, I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Remember. I can't. I don't understand how you can stand to look at me. I'm a murderer. A killer, plain and simple."

Buffy reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. He avoided looking at her.

"William, look at me. You're not a murderer. And, yes, even though you and Spike are essentially the same person, you're also different. What Spike did, *you* didn't do. And while Spike did do some horrific things, I can't call him 'evil personified.' Towards the end, he did do some good things. Some noble. He...you saved my life. More than once. And....I can't thank you enough."

"I know...but...I'm scared. Buffy, all my life, the only thing I had to worry about was how I was going to ask the cute girl across the street out on a date. Now...it's Apocalypses every other week. It's dealing with the knowledge that I am or was a cold-blooded killer. It's-"

Buffy quickly covered his moving lips with a finger, "Remember what I told you last night? You don't have to go through this alone. I'll help you. I promise. But you have to do your part and try to remember."

"I know. But... Buffy, you have no idea what this is like. To go to sleep one night absolutely sure of everything and wake up the next day, realizing everything is a lie. I'm supposed to be dead, but I'm here....human... Why? Why was I brought back? Why human? Why with no memories of my previous life but new ones? Why?"

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out."

He nodded.

"Now, let's get back to the magic shop. They've been researching all day. Hopefully, they've found something. You up for that?" she asked.

Will nodded, "Yeah." He hopped off the sarcophagus and followed Buffy out of the crypt.

"So, you guys find anything yet?" Buffy asked as she and Will entered the shop.

Xander sighed and shook his head.

"Of course," Will said as he took a seat.

Suddenly, the door swung open and a floppy-eared, flabby-skinned demon came in. Everyone stood up and entered their defensive stance.

The demon went to William and hugged him. Will stood still, too confused to do anything else.

"It's true. I thought those vampires were lying. But they weren't," the demon said, letting go of Will.

"I'm sorry. Do I know you?" Will asked.

The demon looked surprised, "Clem."

Will continued to stare at him blankly.

"Uh, you know. Kitten poker?"

"Kitten poker?"

Buffy looked at Clem, "Sorry. Um, he doesn't remember anything, except a few sketchy details."

"Oh." Clem looked at Will, "And that's not all. You're human."

Will nodded, "Apparently."

"So, whatcha guys doing?" Clem asked innocently.

Dawn spoke, deciding Clem seemed harmless enough, "We're trying to find out why he came back."

"And we're getting nowhere," Anya added with a grumble.

Clem nodded and ten was lost in deep thought. Then he said, "You know, I know a guy who might be able to help."

Will perked up, "Really?"

Clem nodded, "Yep. He helped me out one time when I was in real deep."

"Who is he? Where do I find him?"

"He's a demon with a special insight. He can read a person's soul and tell them their purpose in life. Stuff like that. He's connected, in a way, it seems, to the Powers That Be. He can tell you things you can't find in any book."

"That's great and all, but how do I find him?"

"Umm...last I heard, he left LA and headed for Las Vegas. I think he's working at some karaoke bar called 'the Inferno.'"

Buffy looked at William, "Guess we're going on a road trip."

End Part Five

A/N: I suck at bar names......