Part Seven
A/N: I'm only 17 and no one close to me gambles...so please forgive any errors I make regarding the casinos...
"So, you're sitting there, all tied up, with arrows all over you, and you're screaming at the top of your lungs, 'Bear! Bear!' At the time, of course, it wasn't funny because, hello, bear in the middle of Giles' living room. But, now, oh, my goodness, it's so funny," Buffy said, giggling.
William couldn't help but laugh, as well. There had been a brief moment of awkward silence after they had been left alone. But, soon, the awkward silence was replaced by comfortable conversation as she told him events in their lives.
He leaned back, relaxing. He looked at her, awed. He knew it was cliché, but he swore that her smile could light up an entire room.
"Cor, you're beautiful," he whispered.
She stopped laughing and looked at him, "What?"
He turned to face her completely, "Buffy, uh, I know I can't remember anything of our...past, but I can't help but feel drawn to you somehow. It's almost as if...I'm in love with you."
As soon as he finished, Buffy launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck, kissing him. Will was shocked but quickly recovered, deepening the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to his lap. She smiled against his lips. His hands moved from her waist up her back and tangled themselves in her hair, pulling her even closer. And that's when the memories came.
*"You were convenient." "You're a thing. An evil, disgusting thing." "You can't love." "The only thing that's change is that I'm disgusted with myself."*
He ended the kiss immediately and pushed her off, allowing himself to stand. Buffy watched in confusion as he paced the room.
"Will? What's wrong?"
He stopped pacing and looked at her. She stood up and approached him.
"Did you remember something else?"
The look on his face told her 'yes.'
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He shook his head, "I-I need to go. Think things over."
Pain washed over Buffy, "O-okay." But he was already gone.
William wondered the Strip aimlessly. A million though raced through his mind. Was that really the way she felt? Was the only reason she was excited to have him back because she had her sex toy back? But he also remembered knowing she was using him but not really caring. He remembered being thrilled because she had given him a sodding crumb. But now he wouldn't allow himself to be used again. And this time, he wanted more than a crumb. He wanted the entire loaf.
He felt as if they were back to where they were in the beginning... He'd say he loved her and she'd throw herself at him.
But....what about that night at the Bronze? She told him she never realized how much she loved Spike until it was too late. Could it be? No. She said she loved *Spike.* Not him. He wasn't Spike; he was William. He doubted he could ever be Spike, even if he *was* Spike. He had a family back home in London (assuming they were real). Spike killed hundreds, thousands without feeling remorse, guilt; William felt the weight of both feelings every time he thought about those crimes. He had memories of another life. But they both loved her.
He laughed inwardly when he realized how much he sounded like someone with multiple personality disorder. Hell, maybe he was.
As soon as he allowed his mind to drift away from those thoughts, he found that he had wandered into a casino. Shrugging, he walked through, looking at the various tables. He heard a familiar cheering at the craps table. Xander and Anya. He approached them.
Xander was the first to notice him, "Hey, Will. What are you doing here? Figured you and Buffy would be making with the smoochies."
Will looked at him, reasonably surprised, "What?"
"Well, you know, I just figured. You died. The Powers brought you back. Plus, you and Buff seem awfully close..."
Anya spoke, "What's Xander's trying to say is that it's obvious you love Buffy just as much as she obviously loves you."
William looked down, "She loves Spike, not me."
"What are you talking about?"
Will motioned toward his body, "I may be Spike here." He pointed to his temple, "but not here. And that's the problem. I'm a stranger in a familiar costume."
Anya scoffed.
"What?"
She rolled her eyes. "Men," she mumbled under breath before answering him, "Spike or not, she loves you."
Will looked at her skeptically, "Really?"
"Of course. Have you not been paying attention to the looks she gives you?"
"Looks?"
"Yes! The looks. She's giving you the same looks I gave Xander when I realized I was in love with him."
"That and she's happy again. Something she hasn't been since you died," Xander added.
Buffy sat in the chair next to the grand piano, looking out the window. She heard the door open and jumped up, hoping it was Will.
"Hey," Willow said as she and Dawn entered.
"Hey," Buffy said unenthusiastically as she plopped on the couch.
Dawn looked around the room, "Where's Will?"
Buffy shrugged, "I don't know."
"What?" Willow asked.
"I figured you'd be making with the smooches about now. What? You chase him off?" Dawn asked.
Buffy ignored her last question and blushed, "We started to, but-"
"I told you!" Dawn exclaimed to Willow, holding out a hand.
"What was I thinking?" Willow said as she handed Dawn a bill of an unknown amount.
Buffy looked at them incredulously as Dawn tucked the money away. "You made a bet on us?!"
Willow and Dawn looked down sheepishly.
"I should be very angry, but...I'm too worried about Will...so you get off easy," she said tiredly.
Willow looked at her, concerned, "What happened?"
Buffy shrugged, "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong. It's like he remembered something else...but he just left. I don't know where he went."
Willow squeezed her shoulder, comforting her, "I'm sure he'll be back soon."
Buffy nodded, "I know. I know he'll be back. He has to. I mean, where else is he gonna go, right?"
"Right."
William didn't come back until everyone had gone to sleep. He had crept in quietly as to not disturb anyone. He was now asleep on the rollaway. To say he was sleeping soundly and peacefully would be wrong. He tossed and turned in the throes of what looked like a nightmare.
****
"That stuff's for the frilly cuffs and collars crowd. I'll take a good brawl any day."
"Ever hear them saying the blood of a Slayer is a powerful aphrodisiac?"
"Who are you?" "You'll find out on Saturday." "What happens on Saturday?" "I kill you."
"The last Slayer I killed, she begged for her life. You don't strike me as the begging kind."
"I want to save the world."
"It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her."
"I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks."
"Haven't got a death wish? Bitch won't need one."
"A d-? Please! A date! You are completely off your bird. I mean, do you want it to be?"
"I love you. You're all I bloody think about, dream about. You're in my gut, my throat. I'm drowning in you, Summers. I'm drowning in you."
"I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man, and that's-"
"You didn't tell me! You brought her back and you didn't tell me...I worked beside you all summer."
"I'm not one for crowds much myself these days." "Me neither." "Works out quiet nicely then."
"The day you finally suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones."
"It was all Gone With the Wind, with the rising music and the rising...music."
"There's nothing wrong with me. There's something wrong with here."
"You afraid I'm gonna-"
"Do you even like me?" "Sometimes." "You like what I do to you."
****
William jerked awake. Suddenly it was like...how did Xander put it one time? A fog lifted. Then it hit him; he remembered. He jumped out of the rollaway and quietly approached the master bedroom.
Buffy was on one side of the huge bed, fast asleep. He moved toward the bed, kneeling down in front of her. He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes.
Her eyelids fluttered open, "Will?"
He studied her face intently, "It's weird. I've seen you everyday for the last...week or so, but it feels like it's been months since I saw you....really saw you. Like I've been trapped and I've been struggling to break out of this shell. I felt so lost. So confused. But...I think I've found my way."
Buffy sat up, looking at him confusedly, "Will? What's wrong?"
"Spike."
"What?"
"Not Will. Spike."
She felt tears well up and she reached out to press her hand against his cheek, "Spike?"
He nodded.
She couldn't keep the sob from escaping as she moved to kiss him. His hands framed her face as they deepened the kiss. Buffy ran her hands across his arms and down his back. He laid her back on the bed, settling against her, never breaking the kiss.
Spike smiled against her lips when he felt her trying to pull his shirt off. He broke the kiss just long to rid himself of the offending garment. As his lips rejoined hers, she brushed her fingers along his sides. He gasped and unconsciously moved away from her trailing hands.
She giggled, "I never knew you were ticklish."
He smiled and brushed his fingers across her sides and she did the same as he.
"Seems you are, too."
She giggled again and he joined her before leaning in for another kiss. Her shirt soon joined his and the two spent the rest of the night exploring each other, retracing the images both had stored in their mind.
End Part Seven
