*** " [ " indicates the contents of a written letter. " * " indicates
unspoken thought. ***
A/N: Once again, special thanks to Thecla. wow! What a beta reader! And
thanks to the computer gods who got FF.net working again (maybe? makes plea
to computer gods). And thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me reviews
during this trying time!
Enjoy! ~Nebride
"The Caverns of Mirkwood"
Chapter 15
Song of Illuvatar
[Dear Alede, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one more time. I need to be alone with my grief for a few days. I need to find some sense in this. somehow. But I must speak with you. I wish to heal this misunderstanding between us, if I can. Will you please wait for my return?
Lomomir tells me that your wounds will heal without complication. I do not wish to wake you, you sleep so hard and I know you have had little peace lately.
Sincerely, Legolas
P.S. If you decide you cannot wait for me, I will understand. You have very just cause to be angry with me. But know this. if you leave, I will follow you all the way to Rivendell if I must.]
*********
Alede woke and pushed back the blankets. Lomomir's healing draught had done its job and she had slept well, despite the events of the previous day. Pulling her nightdress open, she gazed down at the neat row of dark stitches. and sighed with disappointment. She'd hoped it would look better in the morning. Instead, it looked worse and was still quite tender.
At one time, she's thought she had rather shapely breasts. But now with the hideous jagged cut. What man would want her now? What Elf would?
*It will heal,* she told herself firmly, trying to ward off the feeling of being flawed. *I won't let it fester and I'll use magic and the salve on it daily to make the scar fade.*
But her words gave her no comfort. Had Unilyn felt flawed as well? No doubt the poor, twisted girl had.
Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, she sat up and saw the piece of parchment on her nightstand. Picking it up, she read Legolas' clear, flowing script and recognized the paper as that from her desk.
*He was here and I didn't even know it.* Sadly, she folded the note over and set it on the nightstand. *Do I even wish to wait for him? Can I bear more hurt? For what can he say to me that has not already been said?*
Automatically, her hand went to her throat to touch the locket, but then she remembered that it was missing. *Though I suppose it does not matter. For I have no hope of winning his love, so why remind myself?*
Her breath caught in her throat and tears pricked at her eyes. With a sob, she flung herself back into the bed and turned her face to the pillow. It was a long time before she rose.
*********
Legolas spent three days at Unilyn's grave, coming to terms with his own grief and her betrayal. His sadness and guilt had finally given way to anger. Anger at what she very nearly accomplished. Anger at her petty selfishness. He knew that in the months and perhaps years ahead, he would go through a myriad of emotions concerning Unilyn. But for the time being, some part of him had healed. He strode out of the forest with newfound confidence and determination.
The first sound he heard as he approached the palace was a squeal of laughter. He recognized Thrania's voice and smiled for the first time in days at the scene ahead of him.
Early evening sun streamed into a clearing, illuminating a tableau. Alede stood in the center, wearing a rather faded peasant dress. She was barefoot and her hair streamed down her back in loose waves. Legolas thought he had never seen anyone look so utterly innocent and sweet as she did with the sun shining on her face.
Thrania and Elvomir waited impatiently in front of her. At a signal from Alede, they tossed handfuls of flowers into the air. Alede raised her staff and spoke an incantation. The flowers took on the shape of butterflies and danced above the children's heads. As they jumped and caught them with their hands, the butterflies burst into showers of petals.
Thrania squealed again as she and Elvomir collided. They burst into giggles as they fell into the deep moss of the forest floor. Elvothien rose from a blanket to check if they were injured. Legolas had not even seen her and at the same moment, Alede saw him.
He watched her freeze and knew that she still hurt from their interrupted conversation. He was going to amend that, one way or another. There would be no interruptions this time. He'd finish his say and try to heal what was left of their feelings for each other.
He nodded to Elvothien as he passed her. She gave him a shrewd look and he knew he'd need to repair his friendship with her too. But for right now.
"Alede. will you come with me, please?"
She hesitated for only a moment. "Of course."
They walked in silence to the stables, Legolas adjusting his gate when he realized that in his determination he was walking too fast for Alede. He whistled for Arod and helped Alede to mount, then leapt up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tried to ignore the stiffness of her body.
He took her to one of his favorite places in the woods and helped her to dismount. An old broken tree offered a wide branch only a few feet from the ground and he ran lightly up it.
"I can not follow this path," Alede said uncertainly.
"Yes, you can," Legolas coaxed going back to the base. "See where I placed my feet and I will give you my hand."
She climbed carefully and once she was part way up, Legolas caught her hand and helped her.
They sat shoulder to shoulder on the tree limb and Alede remained silent.
I wonder how she can even bear my presence, Legolas thought unhappily. *I hurt her with my rejection of her love and then I hurt her again when she accused Unilyn.* He glanced at her profile. She did not look at him, but instead gazed out at the forest. The breeze tossed her loose hair over her shoulder and stirred the leaves around them.
"How is your wound?"
"Hideous," she said bitterly. "But it is almost fully healed. Lomomir and I have worked much magic on it. How is your hand?"
Legolas glanced down in surprise, "Well. I'd forgotten about it."
Silence fell between them again.
"I did not wish to believe," Legolas said quietly, forcing himself to explain. "If Unilyn was guilty it would mean that I had failed her. I was part of her cure and if she was a murderer. then I had failed. I did not wish to carry that guilt."
Beside him Alede straightened a little and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You did not fail her. I think she was beyond hope, Legolas. She was the victim of evil. Even Elrond's wife never recovered after what the Orcs did to her. Instead, she chose to travel into the West and wait the long centuries for her husband to come to her. Unilyn did not even have that choice, for traveling of any kind was too frightening for her. She was trapped. In the end, in her desperation I think she chose the only path her damaged mind could see."
"If only she'd come to me with her fears and her desires, perhaps I could have aided her." Legolas sighed. "I never loved her. She was much too fragile and hesitant. But I was fond of her. If only I'd noticed how desperate she was, I could have found someone to take care of her, someone to love her."
"It would not have helped," Alede said. "No one could fight her demons for her. Just as you conquered your own demons when we were together in the Misty Mountains, so needed she. And, it was you she loved. No one else could have substituted."
He was silent for a long while. "How did you know? How did you know it was she? There was really very little evidence."
Alede paused. "The night of your argument with Franduil, after our talk. I asked myself what I would do to have your love." she took a painful breath. "I realized that there was very little that I would not do. And then it came to me that someone else might feel the same. It all just sort of fit together after that."
Legolas reached over and slowly touched a finger to her collarbone, tracing a line beside the jagged tear. The dress was cut low, revealing the swell of her breasts. The wound had indeed closed. But the scar would be ugly and he realized it would be just one more thing to make Alede even more self-conscious.
"By the Valar, I never wished to hurt you, Alede or allow you to be hurt."
"I know that."
"When she cut you with my knife." some of his anger spilled into his voice, "if Lomomir hadn't shot her, I would have killed her myself, just for hurting you."
Alede glanced up at him in apparent surprise, but said nothing.
"You must despise me for the pain I have caused you," he said regretfully.
She looked away. "There are times when I wish that I did. Perhaps I could forget you then," she said sadly. "Never has anyone hurt me as you have, though I know it is not of your choosing."
"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
She paused for so long that Legolas feared her answer. "Yes," she finally whispered, "I love you. I love you even though. my heart is broken."
"I do not wish to break it, Alede. I wish to heal it. will you." he stopped and cleared his throat. This was a difficult request to make.
At a loss for words, he reached up and cupped the side of her face. "Will you let me hear your song?" he asked hesitantly, hoping she would not refuse.
But instead of pulling away or reacting in shock, she merely gazed at him in puzzlement. "My song? I don't understand."
Now it was Legolas' turn to be surprised. "Do your people not share their song with Illuvatar?"
"I. I hear the song of Illuvatar, of course. The Maiar are his servants. I do not hear it as strongly as others of my race or as Elves do, because of my mixed blood. But I do hear it. I know not what you mean by sharing it, though." She gazed at him with wide innocent eyes.
Legolas cleared his throat. This would be difficult to explain. "It is the sharing of our own personal notes in the song of Illuvatar. The part that makes each of us unique. It is a way to open our minds to each other. It is a very private thing." he paused a little uncomfortably. "It is a very intimate joining."
Alede's eyes widened further. "I. would share this with you. But I know not what to do. I would not wish to disappoint you with my awkwardness." She glanced down at her lap shyly. "Would you instruct me?"
And with that hesitant little voice, she had erased all of Legolas' own doubts.
"Yes."
*********
Alede closed her eyes as Legolas once again cupped her face with his fingers, his thumb gently caressing her mouth. She felt him turn toward her and instinctively reached out to him. She caught his free hand and he enfolded her's in his warm grasp.
"Open your heart to me."
Alede didn't know what he meant, but she stilled her being, and quieted her breathing. Sitting there in the middle of the woods, she heard the whisper of the trees around them, the multitude of small tumbling thoughts of animals in the undergrowth and beneath it all the hum of Illuvatar's song. She focused on that, listening with her mind and not her ears. Hoping that it would lead her to whatever Legolas was talking about.
Suddenly there was a new song. It entered her mind and filled her soul and she exalted in the fresh, strong notes that invaded her. Her skin prickled with excitement and she felt more joyful than she ever thought she could. And suddenly she knew.
It was Legolas that entered her mind, not with words or thoughts, but with feelings. It was the most exquisite music she'd ever heard. She focused on him, trying to unravel the tumult of concern and warmth, grief and regret that spilled into her. Slowly she made sense of it and knew the reason for each of his feelings.
Then she felt him squeeze her hand and a new emotion poured into her. Gasping in surprise, Alede leaned toward him. As their minds stumbled together, making sense of each other, she became aware of a change, a subtle shift. Her mind was not what Legolas had expected and surprise spilled over into her. Then understanding passed between them. She saw the agony of the sea longing within him, heard the distant notes that bombarded his mind. His mortal friends held him down like a chain. A chain that he knew he must break someday and the knowledge tormented him. He longed to be free, to follow the desperate yearning of his heart. But at the same time, he sought to delay it as long as he could and dreaded the day of his liberty. Suddenly it became clear to her. To add the weight of her own desires would be more than he could bear. Yet even that he wished for.
Still, hope glimmered in both their minds. The darkness of the centuries before her lifted and she saw possibilities instead of hopelessness. Seeing that she comprehended, Legolas responded and beauty wrapped around her mind, filling her with joy. Joy that soon turned into ecstasy, an ecstasy that was far more intense than any physical joining. At the peak of fulfillment he asked a question of her with his feelings. She shuddered with the impact of what her mind perceived. Trembling slightly she opened her eyes as the song gently pulled away.
*********
Legolas was a little shaken himself. He'd never expected to find such depth of feeling in one who was not Elvin. The intensity of her response and the resulting climax of emotions was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Alede's mind was so young, yet it was strong and so filled with love, he'd been stunned. But not so stunned as to not give her his own feelings and the question he'd had such a difficult time asking.
A tear slipped down the side of Alede's face.
"I did not know anything could be like that." she said.
"I knew not how to ask you. For it is a selfish wish."
Alede reached over and placed a finger over his lips. "It is not selfish. I would not wish to break your heart any more than you would break mine. I understand now the burden you carry and I would not add to it."
"Then?" he asked hesitantly. For she had still given him no answer.
"Yes, Legolas. I will wait until we both reach the Undying Lands, even though I know the risk."
He let out the breath he'd been holding. "I know that I ask more than I ought. Truthfully, I would advise you to seek your happiness elsewhere."
"I understand that you make me no promises. Even once we are across the sea, you may never learn to love me."
He shook his head. "I am not a fool. But it is possible that you may not find me worthy of your wait. In truth we have not known each other for very long and I deserve not the adoration that is in your song. I am merely an Elf. There is nothing extraordinary about me. I would not wish to give you false hopes and then have you disappointed."
"There is more of the extraordinary about you than you realize." She glanced up at him, coquettishly. "Someday when my work is done I will visit you in Ithilien and perhaps it will not take me all of eternity to know your mind and win your heart."
Legolas quirked an amused brow at her slightly bold tone. This was a side of her he'd never seen before. Had his song given her so much confidence? He suspected that it had. Perhaps her lack of confidence had stemmed only from uncertainty. "Do you seek to ensnare me in my own kingdom?" he asked with a laugh.
Alede made no answer but gave him a small secret smile.
Legolas laughed, "My Sweet, it will not take you an eternity to win my heart. It is half yours already."
Again she gave him that smile and looked away, a contented expression on her face.
"But," and Legolas turned serious once more, "I still hesitate to ask this. We may not meet again until we pass over to the West. I would not have you unhappy because of me."
Alede turned back to him. "We each have work to do in Middle Earth. Work that is vital to this world. When it has been completed, then we may consider other matters. I do not reproach you for your request. I love you. It will always be so. And if I must wait centuries, then I will do so. Of course," she added pertly, "if you disappoint me, I will cast you aside for Elrohir."
She darted an impish glance at him.
"That you will not," Legolas said with mock sincerity. With a swift movement he grabbed her arm and half dragged her over his lap. "Is it not the custom in some societies to thrash an unfaithful lover?" And he gave her bottom a light, playful swat.
Alede laughed and struggled away from him. "But we are not lovers," she said as she sat back up and looked at him pertly.
"I would remedy that, if I could. But I would not cheapen the act by taking your love and not giving you the fullness of my heart in return. If I make love to you Alede, it will be with my heart and soul as well as my body," Legolas said softly. He gazed for a moment into her green eyes, then leaning forward he kissed her. It was a simple kiss, but there was a hint of promise in it. A hint of what lay beneath the surface for both of them.
When they parted she smiled warmly at him. Her kiss was sweet and Legolas felt himself lean toward her again, wanting another.
But Alede stopped him with a gentle hand placed against his chest. "But just because I love you," she said and Legolas saw the warning twinkle of mischief in her eyes. "Does not mean that I am ready to be burdened with your presence, just yet." Her hand moved with lightning speed and she gave his thigh a hard shove, pushing him off of the branch.
With a cry of amusement, Legolas dropped to the ground, landing easily on his feet with the grace of a cat. Above his head Alede chuckled softly. Legolas reached up and gave her ankle a tug. Alede fell off, landing with far less grace and Legolas caught her before she could stumble backwards.
They laughed together, even as Alede shoved him away. But Legolas had no intention of being shoved away. Grabbing her, he hauled her up against him and gently cupped either side of her face. Alede stilled suddenly, her heart beat racing as she looked up into his gorgeous eyes. Legolas lowered his head and.
And she had only a split second warning, before he grabbed her waist and flung her over his shoulder.
"Legolas!!"
He chuckled and began walking quickly, Alede slung like a sack of flour over his shoulder.
"Legolas! Put me down!"
"Not just yet."
"Please?" she wailed.
"Nay."
"Oohhhhhh!" she exclaimed. "Put me down!" She tried kicking her feet and pounding on his back, but that only earned her a swat on the bottom.
"Behave," Legolas said calmly. And she could hear the amusement in his voice.
"Curse you!"
He laughed and Alede bounced on his shoulder. Finally he stopped.
"Do you really want me to put you down?" he asked.
"Yes, of course!"
"Very well." Legolas set her on her feet. Looking down, she gasped.
"A pond? You just had to set me down in a pond?" She took a step and mud sucked at her feet, causing her to stumble. Grabbing wildly at Legolas, she tried to regain her balance, but her weight caused his feet to slide in the muddy bank and they both tumbled in.
Legolas came up laughing. The fen was only a few inches deep. Alede rolled over into a sitting position. She tried to scowl at Legolas as she picked a waterweed out of her hair.
"Is this the pond that you and Franduil played in as boys?"
Legolas nodded and then without warning flung a handful of muddy water at her.
But Alede had been expecting such a trick and ducked. Leaping forward, she shoved him back into the water. But Legolas was too fast and dragged her down with him. Laughing like children, they struggled and plastered each other with mud until they were thoroughly soaked.
*********
"Arod does not approve," Legolas said referring to their mud soaked condition as water soaked into the horse's bare back.
Alede chuckled but said nothing. She was too content riding behind Legolas, her arms wrapped around his slender waist.
There is hope for the future after all, she thought happily. Long years lay ahead and there was no promise. He might not ever grow to love her. But there was hope.
And he had been surprised when she had grown bold. I suppose he's had women throwing themselves at his feet most of his life, she realized with new understanding. A little aloofness just might do him good, she thought mischievously.
"What are you thinking?" Legolas asked suspiciously. "I can still hear your song and I think it does not bode well for me."
"I can hear yours as well," she said in surprise. It was faint, but still there. "Will it always be like this?"
"I know not. Normally," he paused uncomfortably, "it is shared only by lovers who have declared themselves to each other."
"Really? Have you." she bit her lip. *Did she have the right to ask this?*
"Say what you will," Legolas said, hearing the uncertainty in her voice.
Perhaps he hears the uncertainty in my song as well, she thought. *It will take us years just to learn to interpret this.*
"I just wondered if. you had shared song with anyone else before?" Then she added quickly, "Is it wrong of me to ask?"
"Mmm. it would be inappropriate to ask anyone but me."
"I understand." But he still had not answered her question. "Then. have you?"
"Well. yes. I shared it with my mother, of course when I was in the womb, as is normal with a woman and her child. And." he took a deep breath as if the next part were especially difficult, "I have also shared song with my friend Gimli."
"Gimli?" Alede was surprised and then a troubling thought came to her. "I know that it is not considered unusual for Elves of the same gender to be lovers."
Legolas laughed. "Nay, it is not unusual. But it has never appealed to me. No, what passed between Gimli and I was nothing of that nature." He paused, sounding very uncomfortable.
"Gimli offered to teach me the way of fighting with an axe," he finally continued. "As I have a love of all weapons, I accepted. Unfortunately, I was over confident in my ability. The axe is a heavy weapon and I misjudged its momentum and my own ability to halt its swing." He paused and cleared his throat. "I. caught Gimli along side the head with enough force to knock him out. Fortunately he had his helm on or I fear I would have killed him. As it was, he did not know me when he awoke and was so disoriented he could not speak. We were in the middle of nowhere at the time, so I had no way to care for him or take him to a healer. I'm afraid I panicked and forced my song into his mind, hoping to lead his consciousness back."
"Did it work?" Alede asked with interest and wondering if this was a technique she could add to her healer's abilities.
"Yes actually. It worked quite well. I was holding him very close, practically cradling him in my arms. Our foreheads were touching and when he finally came too he pushed me away and reached for his axe. He said, 'no thanks,' and told me that I was very pretty but would never compare to Galadriel."
Alede burst into laughter.
"He then spent the rest of our journey," Legolas continued, "pretending to watch me suspiciously as if he expected me to force myself upon him at any moment."
Alede was now laughing so hard she buried her face in Legolas' back.
"I'm glad you find this so amusing," he grumbled. But there was laughter in his voice.
"Did he ever get over his suspicion?" she gasped.
"He was never suspicious in the first place! He only did it to vex me."
Alede tightened her grip on Legolas' waist, turning it into a hug. "I would like to know Gimli better. I am fond of Dwarves."
"You may not be fond of this one. He is the worst of his kind," Legolas said affectionately. "But there is a chance that you may meet him again. I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"You said that you and your father have been working to hide Rivendell with magic, so that it will pass out of the knowledge of men as this age advances."
"Yes, it has already been done in the Shire. Gandalf helped with that before he departed. And then Elladan requested that we do the same with Rivendell. The Elvin valley will always be there, but only accessible to other Elves or those of the purest heart. Why do you ask about it?"
"I wondered if the same might be done to Ithilien. After." he paused painfully. "After Aragorn has. gone. he will be the last of men to know the Elvin ways. I'm thinking that might be the time for Ithilien to vanish into the mists of time, as Rivendell is doing."
"Of course. It will take us many more years to finish our work in Rivendell. I'm afraid none of us has the skill that Gandalf had, so our work is much slower. But we will come to Ithilien when we are done."
He nodded and placed a hand over hers. "Good. It will be a relief to me to know that my kingdom and my people may continue, even after I depart for the West."
And, Alede thought with delight, it would give her many years in Ithilien, in his company.
*********
It was dark by the time they reached the palace. Legolas had shown her many of his favorite places in the forest. Talking with her now seemed relaxed and easy, the tension and struggle of the past several days all but forgotten. After turning Arod over to the groom, they walked side by side up the wide steps at the front of the palace. Legolas was so caught up in interpreting each little nuance of her song, that he failed to see his father coming down to them, until the King was upon them.
Alede suddenly stopped short and gave a curtsy. Legolas inclined his head and greeted his father, noting the King's gaze as he took in their muddy clothing. Obviously, Thranduil did not approve.
"I would speak with you, Lady Alede," Thranduil said briskly. "Alone," he added as Legolas moved to accompany them.
"I'm sure that Alede will not mind, Father. I would know what you have to say to her," Legolas said firmly.
"And I say, Son, that I will speak with her alone."
Thranduil's tone brooked no argument, yet Legolas was prepared to argue. He guessed that Thranduil meant to reproach her or perhaps send her away and he intended to protect her from the King's insensitivity.
But he hadn't bargained on Alede.
She turned to him, placing a restraining hand on Legolas' arm. "Please. I would not be the cause of strife between the two of you." She turned and started up the steps.
"Do not let him bully you, Alede," Legolas said. And while he spoke the words to her, his eyes were on his father as the King scowled at him.
Alede's eyes twinkled with amusement as she turned momentarily back to him. "I won't," she promised. Then lifting her muddy skirts daintily, she walked up the stairs and Legolas heard her say, "You wished to speak with me, your Majesty?"
Thranduil gave Legolas one last glare before turning away. The prince watched them walk away. He would be listening.
*********
A/N: Ah, and just what can Thranduil have to say? Find out in chapter 16, coming soon!
List of Original Characters: Lomomir: Mirkwood's Healer and Thranduil's youngest brother. Unilyn: A young she-Elf, probably about Legolas' age. She is Legolas' former lover. Prince Franduil: King Thranduil's second son. He is now the crown prince, due to the oldest son's death in the War of Five Armies. Princess Elvothien: Wife of Prince Franduil and sister-in-law to Legolas. Elvomir: Prince Franduil and Elvothien's little boy. Nephew to Legolas. Hithrawyn: A warrior sent to guard Alede Thrania: Prince Franduil and Elvothien's little girl. Twin to Elvomir and niece to Legolas. He affectionately calls her Nia.
"The Caverns of Mirkwood"
Chapter 15
Song of Illuvatar
[Dear Alede, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one more time. I need to be alone with my grief for a few days. I need to find some sense in this. somehow. But I must speak with you. I wish to heal this misunderstanding between us, if I can. Will you please wait for my return?
Lomomir tells me that your wounds will heal without complication. I do not wish to wake you, you sleep so hard and I know you have had little peace lately.
Sincerely, Legolas
P.S. If you decide you cannot wait for me, I will understand. You have very just cause to be angry with me. But know this. if you leave, I will follow you all the way to Rivendell if I must.]
*********
Alede woke and pushed back the blankets. Lomomir's healing draught had done its job and she had slept well, despite the events of the previous day. Pulling her nightdress open, she gazed down at the neat row of dark stitches. and sighed with disappointment. She'd hoped it would look better in the morning. Instead, it looked worse and was still quite tender.
At one time, she's thought she had rather shapely breasts. But now with the hideous jagged cut. What man would want her now? What Elf would?
*It will heal,* she told herself firmly, trying to ward off the feeling of being flawed. *I won't let it fester and I'll use magic and the salve on it daily to make the scar fade.*
But her words gave her no comfort. Had Unilyn felt flawed as well? No doubt the poor, twisted girl had.
Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, she sat up and saw the piece of parchment on her nightstand. Picking it up, she read Legolas' clear, flowing script and recognized the paper as that from her desk.
*He was here and I didn't even know it.* Sadly, she folded the note over and set it on the nightstand. *Do I even wish to wait for him? Can I bear more hurt? For what can he say to me that has not already been said?*
Automatically, her hand went to her throat to touch the locket, but then she remembered that it was missing. *Though I suppose it does not matter. For I have no hope of winning his love, so why remind myself?*
Her breath caught in her throat and tears pricked at her eyes. With a sob, she flung herself back into the bed and turned her face to the pillow. It was a long time before she rose.
*********
Legolas spent three days at Unilyn's grave, coming to terms with his own grief and her betrayal. His sadness and guilt had finally given way to anger. Anger at what she very nearly accomplished. Anger at her petty selfishness. He knew that in the months and perhaps years ahead, he would go through a myriad of emotions concerning Unilyn. But for the time being, some part of him had healed. He strode out of the forest with newfound confidence and determination.
The first sound he heard as he approached the palace was a squeal of laughter. He recognized Thrania's voice and smiled for the first time in days at the scene ahead of him.
Early evening sun streamed into a clearing, illuminating a tableau. Alede stood in the center, wearing a rather faded peasant dress. She was barefoot and her hair streamed down her back in loose waves. Legolas thought he had never seen anyone look so utterly innocent and sweet as she did with the sun shining on her face.
Thrania and Elvomir waited impatiently in front of her. At a signal from Alede, they tossed handfuls of flowers into the air. Alede raised her staff and spoke an incantation. The flowers took on the shape of butterflies and danced above the children's heads. As they jumped and caught them with their hands, the butterflies burst into showers of petals.
Thrania squealed again as she and Elvomir collided. They burst into giggles as they fell into the deep moss of the forest floor. Elvothien rose from a blanket to check if they were injured. Legolas had not even seen her and at the same moment, Alede saw him.
He watched her freeze and knew that she still hurt from their interrupted conversation. He was going to amend that, one way or another. There would be no interruptions this time. He'd finish his say and try to heal what was left of their feelings for each other.
He nodded to Elvothien as he passed her. She gave him a shrewd look and he knew he'd need to repair his friendship with her too. But for right now.
"Alede. will you come with me, please?"
She hesitated for only a moment. "Of course."
They walked in silence to the stables, Legolas adjusting his gate when he realized that in his determination he was walking too fast for Alede. He whistled for Arod and helped Alede to mount, then leapt up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tried to ignore the stiffness of her body.
He took her to one of his favorite places in the woods and helped her to dismount. An old broken tree offered a wide branch only a few feet from the ground and he ran lightly up it.
"I can not follow this path," Alede said uncertainly.
"Yes, you can," Legolas coaxed going back to the base. "See where I placed my feet and I will give you my hand."
She climbed carefully and once she was part way up, Legolas caught her hand and helped her.
They sat shoulder to shoulder on the tree limb and Alede remained silent.
I wonder how she can even bear my presence, Legolas thought unhappily. *I hurt her with my rejection of her love and then I hurt her again when she accused Unilyn.* He glanced at her profile. She did not look at him, but instead gazed out at the forest. The breeze tossed her loose hair over her shoulder and stirred the leaves around them.
"How is your wound?"
"Hideous," she said bitterly. "But it is almost fully healed. Lomomir and I have worked much magic on it. How is your hand?"
Legolas glanced down in surprise, "Well. I'd forgotten about it."
Silence fell between them again.
"I did not wish to believe," Legolas said quietly, forcing himself to explain. "If Unilyn was guilty it would mean that I had failed her. I was part of her cure and if she was a murderer. then I had failed. I did not wish to carry that guilt."
Beside him Alede straightened a little and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You did not fail her. I think she was beyond hope, Legolas. She was the victim of evil. Even Elrond's wife never recovered after what the Orcs did to her. Instead, she chose to travel into the West and wait the long centuries for her husband to come to her. Unilyn did not even have that choice, for traveling of any kind was too frightening for her. She was trapped. In the end, in her desperation I think she chose the only path her damaged mind could see."
"If only she'd come to me with her fears and her desires, perhaps I could have aided her." Legolas sighed. "I never loved her. She was much too fragile and hesitant. But I was fond of her. If only I'd noticed how desperate she was, I could have found someone to take care of her, someone to love her."
"It would not have helped," Alede said. "No one could fight her demons for her. Just as you conquered your own demons when we were together in the Misty Mountains, so needed she. And, it was you she loved. No one else could have substituted."
He was silent for a long while. "How did you know? How did you know it was she? There was really very little evidence."
Alede paused. "The night of your argument with Franduil, after our talk. I asked myself what I would do to have your love." she took a painful breath. "I realized that there was very little that I would not do. And then it came to me that someone else might feel the same. It all just sort of fit together after that."
Legolas reached over and slowly touched a finger to her collarbone, tracing a line beside the jagged tear. The dress was cut low, revealing the swell of her breasts. The wound had indeed closed. But the scar would be ugly and he realized it would be just one more thing to make Alede even more self-conscious.
"By the Valar, I never wished to hurt you, Alede or allow you to be hurt."
"I know that."
"When she cut you with my knife." some of his anger spilled into his voice, "if Lomomir hadn't shot her, I would have killed her myself, just for hurting you."
Alede glanced up at him in apparent surprise, but said nothing.
"You must despise me for the pain I have caused you," he said regretfully.
She looked away. "There are times when I wish that I did. Perhaps I could forget you then," she said sadly. "Never has anyone hurt me as you have, though I know it is not of your choosing."
"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
She paused for so long that Legolas feared her answer. "Yes," she finally whispered, "I love you. I love you even though. my heart is broken."
"I do not wish to break it, Alede. I wish to heal it. will you." he stopped and cleared his throat. This was a difficult request to make.
At a loss for words, he reached up and cupped the side of her face. "Will you let me hear your song?" he asked hesitantly, hoping she would not refuse.
But instead of pulling away or reacting in shock, she merely gazed at him in puzzlement. "My song? I don't understand."
Now it was Legolas' turn to be surprised. "Do your people not share their song with Illuvatar?"
"I. I hear the song of Illuvatar, of course. The Maiar are his servants. I do not hear it as strongly as others of my race or as Elves do, because of my mixed blood. But I do hear it. I know not what you mean by sharing it, though." She gazed at him with wide innocent eyes.
Legolas cleared his throat. This would be difficult to explain. "It is the sharing of our own personal notes in the song of Illuvatar. The part that makes each of us unique. It is a way to open our minds to each other. It is a very private thing." he paused a little uncomfortably. "It is a very intimate joining."
Alede's eyes widened further. "I. would share this with you. But I know not what to do. I would not wish to disappoint you with my awkwardness." She glanced down at her lap shyly. "Would you instruct me?"
And with that hesitant little voice, she had erased all of Legolas' own doubts.
"Yes."
*********
Alede closed her eyes as Legolas once again cupped her face with his fingers, his thumb gently caressing her mouth. She felt him turn toward her and instinctively reached out to him. She caught his free hand and he enfolded her's in his warm grasp.
"Open your heart to me."
Alede didn't know what he meant, but she stilled her being, and quieted her breathing. Sitting there in the middle of the woods, she heard the whisper of the trees around them, the multitude of small tumbling thoughts of animals in the undergrowth and beneath it all the hum of Illuvatar's song. She focused on that, listening with her mind and not her ears. Hoping that it would lead her to whatever Legolas was talking about.
Suddenly there was a new song. It entered her mind and filled her soul and she exalted in the fresh, strong notes that invaded her. Her skin prickled with excitement and she felt more joyful than she ever thought she could. And suddenly she knew.
It was Legolas that entered her mind, not with words or thoughts, but with feelings. It was the most exquisite music she'd ever heard. She focused on him, trying to unravel the tumult of concern and warmth, grief and regret that spilled into her. Slowly she made sense of it and knew the reason for each of his feelings.
Then she felt him squeeze her hand and a new emotion poured into her. Gasping in surprise, Alede leaned toward him. As their minds stumbled together, making sense of each other, she became aware of a change, a subtle shift. Her mind was not what Legolas had expected and surprise spilled over into her. Then understanding passed between them. She saw the agony of the sea longing within him, heard the distant notes that bombarded his mind. His mortal friends held him down like a chain. A chain that he knew he must break someday and the knowledge tormented him. He longed to be free, to follow the desperate yearning of his heart. But at the same time, he sought to delay it as long as he could and dreaded the day of his liberty. Suddenly it became clear to her. To add the weight of her own desires would be more than he could bear. Yet even that he wished for.
Still, hope glimmered in both their minds. The darkness of the centuries before her lifted and she saw possibilities instead of hopelessness. Seeing that she comprehended, Legolas responded and beauty wrapped around her mind, filling her with joy. Joy that soon turned into ecstasy, an ecstasy that was far more intense than any physical joining. At the peak of fulfillment he asked a question of her with his feelings. She shuddered with the impact of what her mind perceived. Trembling slightly she opened her eyes as the song gently pulled away.
*********
Legolas was a little shaken himself. He'd never expected to find such depth of feeling in one who was not Elvin. The intensity of her response and the resulting climax of emotions was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Alede's mind was so young, yet it was strong and so filled with love, he'd been stunned. But not so stunned as to not give her his own feelings and the question he'd had such a difficult time asking.
A tear slipped down the side of Alede's face.
"I did not know anything could be like that." she said.
"I knew not how to ask you. For it is a selfish wish."
Alede reached over and placed a finger over his lips. "It is not selfish. I would not wish to break your heart any more than you would break mine. I understand now the burden you carry and I would not add to it."
"Then?" he asked hesitantly. For she had still given him no answer.
"Yes, Legolas. I will wait until we both reach the Undying Lands, even though I know the risk."
He let out the breath he'd been holding. "I know that I ask more than I ought. Truthfully, I would advise you to seek your happiness elsewhere."
"I understand that you make me no promises. Even once we are across the sea, you may never learn to love me."
He shook his head. "I am not a fool. But it is possible that you may not find me worthy of your wait. In truth we have not known each other for very long and I deserve not the adoration that is in your song. I am merely an Elf. There is nothing extraordinary about me. I would not wish to give you false hopes and then have you disappointed."
"There is more of the extraordinary about you than you realize." She glanced up at him, coquettishly. "Someday when my work is done I will visit you in Ithilien and perhaps it will not take me all of eternity to know your mind and win your heart."
Legolas quirked an amused brow at her slightly bold tone. This was a side of her he'd never seen before. Had his song given her so much confidence? He suspected that it had. Perhaps her lack of confidence had stemmed only from uncertainty. "Do you seek to ensnare me in my own kingdom?" he asked with a laugh.
Alede made no answer but gave him a small secret smile.
Legolas laughed, "My Sweet, it will not take you an eternity to win my heart. It is half yours already."
Again she gave him that smile and looked away, a contented expression on her face.
"But," and Legolas turned serious once more, "I still hesitate to ask this. We may not meet again until we pass over to the West. I would not have you unhappy because of me."
Alede turned back to him. "We each have work to do in Middle Earth. Work that is vital to this world. When it has been completed, then we may consider other matters. I do not reproach you for your request. I love you. It will always be so. And if I must wait centuries, then I will do so. Of course," she added pertly, "if you disappoint me, I will cast you aside for Elrohir."
She darted an impish glance at him.
"That you will not," Legolas said with mock sincerity. With a swift movement he grabbed her arm and half dragged her over his lap. "Is it not the custom in some societies to thrash an unfaithful lover?" And he gave her bottom a light, playful swat.
Alede laughed and struggled away from him. "But we are not lovers," she said as she sat back up and looked at him pertly.
"I would remedy that, if I could. But I would not cheapen the act by taking your love and not giving you the fullness of my heart in return. If I make love to you Alede, it will be with my heart and soul as well as my body," Legolas said softly. He gazed for a moment into her green eyes, then leaning forward he kissed her. It was a simple kiss, but there was a hint of promise in it. A hint of what lay beneath the surface for both of them.
When they parted she smiled warmly at him. Her kiss was sweet and Legolas felt himself lean toward her again, wanting another.
But Alede stopped him with a gentle hand placed against his chest. "But just because I love you," she said and Legolas saw the warning twinkle of mischief in her eyes. "Does not mean that I am ready to be burdened with your presence, just yet." Her hand moved with lightning speed and she gave his thigh a hard shove, pushing him off of the branch.
With a cry of amusement, Legolas dropped to the ground, landing easily on his feet with the grace of a cat. Above his head Alede chuckled softly. Legolas reached up and gave her ankle a tug. Alede fell off, landing with far less grace and Legolas caught her before she could stumble backwards.
They laughed together, even as Alede shoved him away. But Legolas had no intention of being shoved away. Grabbing her, he hauled her up against him and gently cupped either side of her face. Alede stilled suddenly, her heart beat racing as she looked up into his gorgeous eyes. Legolas lowered his head and.
And she had only a split second warning, before he grabbed her waist and flung her over his shoulder.
"Legolas!!"
He chuckled and began walking quickly, Alede slung like a sack of flour over his shoulder.
"Legolas! Put me down!"
"Not just yet."
"Please?" she wailed.
"Nay."
"Oohhhhhh!" she exclaimed. "Put me down!" She tried kicking her feet and pounding on his back, but that only earned her a swat on the bottom.
"Behave," Legolas said calmly. And she could hear the amusement in his voice.
"Curse you!"
He laughed and Alede bounced on his shoulder. Finally he stopped.
"Do you really want me to put you down?" he asked.
"Yes, of course!"
"Very well." Legolas set her on her feet. Looking down, she gasped.
"A pond? You just had to set me down in a pond?" She took a step and mud sucked at her feet, causing her to stumble. Grabbing wildly at Legolas, she tried to regain her balance, but her weight caused his feet to slide in the muddy bank and they both tumbled in.
Legolas came up laughing. The fen was only a few inches deep. Alede rolled over into a sitting position. She tried to scowl at Legolas as she picked a waterweed out of her hair.
"Is this the pond that you and Franduil played in as boys?"
Legolas nodded and then without warning flung a handful of muddy water at her.
But Alede had been expecting such a trick and ducked. Leaping forward, she shoved him back into the water. But Legolas was too fast and dragged her down with him. Laughing like children, they struggled and plastered each other with mud until they were thoroughly soaked.
*********
"Arod does not approve," Legolas said referring to their mud soaked condition as water soaked into the horse's bare back.
Alede chuckled but said nothing. She was too content riding behind Legolas, her arms wrapped around his slender waist.
There is hope for the future after all, she thought happily. Long years lay ahead and there was no promise. He might not ever grow to love her. But there was hope.
And he had been surprised when she had grown bold. I suppose he's had women throwing themselves at his feet most of his life, she realized with new understanding. A little aloofness just might do him good, she thought mischievously.
"What are you thinking?" Legolas asked suspiciously. "I can still hear your song and I think it does not bode well for me."
"I can hear yours as well," she said in surprise. It was faint, but still there. "Will it always be like this?"
"I know not. Normally," he paused uncomfortably, "it is shared only by lovers who have declared themselves to each other."
"Really? Have you." she bit her lip. *Did she have the right to ask this?*
"Say what you will," Legolas said, hearing the uncertainty in her voice.
Perhaps he hears the uncertainty in my song as well, she thought. *It will take us years just to learn to interpret this.*
"I just wondered if. you had shared song with anyone else before?" Then she added quickly, "Is it wrong of me to ask?"
"Mmm. it would be inappropriate to ask anyone but me."
"I understand." But he still had not answered her question. "Then. have you?"
"Well. yes. I shared it with my mother, of course when I was in the womb, as is normal with a woman and her child. And." he took a deep breath as if the next part were especially difficult, "I have also shared song with my friend Gimli."
"Gimli?" Alede was surprised and then a troubling thought came to her. "I know that it is not considered unusual for Elves of the same gender to be lovers."
Legolas laughed. "Nay, it is not unusual. But it has never appealed to me. No, what passed between Gimli and I was nothing of that nature." He paused, sounding very uncomfortable.
"Gimli offered to teach me the way of fighting with an axe," he finally continued. "As I have a love of all weapons, I accepted. Unfortunately, I was over confident in my ability. The axe is a heavy weapon and I misjudged its momentum and my own ability to halt its swing." He paused and cleared his throat. "I. caught Gimli along side the head with enough force to knock him out. Fortunately he had his helm on or I fear I would have killed him. As it was, he did not know me when he awoke and was so disoriented he could not speak. We were in the middle of nowhere at the time, so I had no way to care for him or take him to a healer. I'm afraid I panicked and forced my song into his mind, hoping to lead his consciousness back."
"Did it work?" Alede asked with interest and wondering if this was a technique she could add to her healer's abilities.
"Yes actually. It worked quite well. I was holding him very close, practically cradling him in my arms. Our foreheads were touching and when he finally came too he pushed me away and reached for his axe. He said, 'no thanks,' and told me that I was very pretty but would never compare to Galadriel."
Alede burst into laughter.
"He then spent the rest of our journey," Legolas continued, "pretending to watch me suspiciously as if he expected me to force myself upon him at any moment."
Alede was now laughing so hard she buried her face in Legolas' back.
"I'm glad you find this so amusing," he grumbled. But there was laughter in his voice.
"Did he ever get over his suspicion?" she gasped.
"He was never suspicious in the first place! He only did it to vex me."
Alede tightened her grip on Legolas' waist, turning it into a hug. "I would like to know Gimli better. I am fond of Dwarves."
"You may not be fond of this one. He is the worst of his kind," Legolas said affectionately. "But there is a chance that you may meet him again. I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"You said that you and your father have been working to hide Rivendell with magic, so that it will pass out of the knowledge of men as this age advances."
"Yes, it has already been done in the Shire. Gandalf helped with that before he departed. And then Elladan requested that we do the same with Rivendell. The Elvin valley will always be there, but only accessible to other Elves or those of the purest heart. Why do you ask about it?"
"I wondered if the same might be done to Ithilien. After." he paused painfully. "After Aragorn has. gone. he will be the last of men to know the Elvin ways. I'm thinking that might be the time for Ithilien to vanish into the mists of time, as Rivendell is doing."
"Of course. It will take us many more years to finish our work in Rivendell. I'm afraid none of us has the skill that Gandalf had, so our work is much slower. But we will come to Ithilien when we are done."
He nodded and placed a hand over hers. "Good. It will be a relief to me to know that my kingdom and my people may continue, even after I depart for the West."
And, Alede thought with delight, it would give her many years in Ithilien, in his company.
*********
It was dark by the time they reached the palace. Legolas had shown her many of his favorite places in the forest. Talking with her now seemed relaxed and easy, the tension and struggle of the past several days all but forgotten. After turning Arod over to the groom, they walked side by side up the wide steps at the front of the palace. Legolas was so caught up in interpreting each little nuance of her song, that he failed to see his father coming down to them, until the King was upon them.
Alede suddenly stopped short and gave a curtsy. Legolas inclined his head and greeted his father, noting the King's gaze as he took in their muddy clothing. Obviously, Thranduil did not approve.
"I would speak with you, Lady Alede," Thranduil said briskly. "Alone," he added as Legolas moved to accompany them.
"I'm sure that Alede will not mind, Father. I would know what you have to say to her," Legolas said firmly.
"And I say, Son, that I will speak with her alone."
Thranduil's tone brooked no argument, yet Legolas was prepared to argue. He guessed that Thranduil meant to reproach her or perhaps send her away and he intended to protect her from the King's insensitivity.
But he hadn't bargained on Alede.
She turned to him, placing a restraining hand on Legolas' arm. "Please. I would not be the cause of strife between the two of you." She turned and started up the steps.
"Do not let him bully you, Alede," Legolas said. And while he spoke the words to her, his eyes were on his father as the King scowled at him.
Alede's eyes twinkled with amusement as she turned momentarily back to him. "I won't," she promised. Then lifting her muddy skirts daintily, she walked up the stairs and Legolas heard her say, "You wished to speak with me, your Majesty?"
Thranduil gave Legolas one last glare before turning away. The prince watched them walk away. He would be listening.
*********
A/N: Ah, and just what can Thranduil have to say? Find out in chapter 16, coming soon!
List of Original Characters: Lomomir: Mirkwood's Healer and Thranduil's youngest brother. Unilyn: A young she-Elf, probably about Legolas' age. She is Legolas' former lover. Prince Franduil: King Thranduil's second son. He is now the crown prince, due to the oldest son's death in the War of Five Armies. Princess Elvothien: Wife of Prince Franduil and sister-in-law to Legolas. Elvomir: Prince Franduil and Elvothien's little boy. Nephew to Legolas. Hithrawyn: A warrior sent to guard Alede Thrania: Prince Franduil and Elvothien's little girl. Twin to Elvomir and niece to Legolas. He affectionately calls her Nia.
