Next chapter's here folks. Still owning pretty much zilch. Except myself of course.

What Have I done To Deserve This?

Well, they failed me for about ten seconds. Then I remembered how I ended up in this mess, and continued with my sob story.

"Anyway, after I escaped I ended up outside the Palace. Only to be taken prisoner and then thanks to some really unhelpful elves I wreck my ankle. Which for your information still actually hurts. Then I'm sick all over the King and I met Princess Legolas..."

"You were sick? Over the King?" The spider named Sarah asked, shaking with silent laughter.

"Yes."

"What next?"

"I was thrown in the dungeons. With the rats. So I burned them down..."

"What? The rats?"

"No, the dungeons. Then I escaped. Only to be caught by Mr Annoying elf himself Prince Veborion, and dragged back to the Palace."

"And then?" Sarah the spider asked, tightening one of the silken threads that bound me in her web.

"My judgement for taking out what I consider to be a barbaric and completely outdated wing of the Palace was to be brought back out here by Veborion and fed to you. Only you lot didn't turn up and then it started to rain. So eventually Veborion and I made our way back to the Palace. Only to end up lost..."

"'Veborion and I'? How very correct of you." Sarah said, interrupting my flow.

"Yeah, well - I'm supposed to know how to write stuff, being a fan fiction author and all." I said, as I tried to wriggle around in the web. The bonds seemed to be getting a little too tight.

"Being a fan fiction author does not preclude the necessity of getting phrases, grammar and spelling right." Sarah declared.

"Oh shut up. Anyway, Veborion left me to make my way out of this hell hole. Which was nice. But then I end up right in front of the Palace. 3 TIMES!" I exclaimed. "Can my day get any worse?"

"Why yes." Answered Sarah turning to face me fully. "I'm afraid it can."

"How can my day get worse?" I asked, for the first time noticing just how tight the web was around me.

"Because my dear," Sarah said, and for the first time I noticed Sarah's very large, very sharp and very glistening with saliva, teeth. "I am going to eat you."

"Oh shit."

***

"Look, you really don't want to eat me." I said nervously as she inched forward, "HELP! Look, I'm not really that tasty, honest. HELP!" I punctuated my sentences with cries for help, desperately hoping that this was not the end. "I mean I'm all skin and bone. HELP! Well, at least I will be once I lose some weight. HELP!"

Sarah ignored me and carried on inching forward. I could smell her breath as it blew onto me from her mouth. And it made me want to heave. Which I didn't do, because if I'd have bent forward to do so I would have ended up in her mouth. Something that I was trying to avoid.

"HELP!" I cried, believing that this was the end. "VEBORION! ANYONE! HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP!"

An arrow shot out from nowhere, embedding itself into the spider. Then another and another. Moments later, the spider formally known as Sarah was dead. Hooray!

Idiot.

*************************************

So who's my mysterious saviour? And why? Any guesses? Hehehe. R&R please!