Still. not. owner. of. Lotr. What. a. surprise.

Take On Me

I caught Veborion off balance which was why he stumbled and fell over. Good move! I inwardly cheered. Well, at least until he pulled his bow from his shoulder and ripped an arrow from his quiver and aimed at the centre of my forehead.

I would have been impressed by his reflexes and worried about the arrow if I wasn't still so pissed. I strode purposely forward and knocked the arrow away from him. Now he had wound me up he was going to suffer. Big Time. I did what I knew would hurt him and his overly large ego and grabbed him by the ear.

"Now then Elfy boy. You are gonna listen to me. Gorrit?"

Veborion winced as I clenched his ear tighter and shook it vigorously back and forth. His whole head swaying violently with the motion.

"Good. Now then, contrary to what you may think you know. I am not, repeat NOT part of some conspiracy to take over the elves. I am, however, extremely pissed at you and your ridiculous accusations and I want an apology. Gorrit?"

"Sorry."

"I didn't hear you. Say it again."

"SORRY." Veborion shouted as I shook his head harder for effect.

"Good."

***

Well, at least it felt good for that moment. I should have been paying attention to what was going on behind me. Moments after Veborion's apology I was surrounded by enraged elves, including one Princess Legolas who was now hysterical at me interrupting her wedding.

"Look, I am really sorry honest."

"You! You ruined the happiest day of my life!"

"I said I was sorry..."

"...How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Gimli?"

I cringed. Talk about feeling like the lowest cretin on the planet. Saying sorry really didn't make up for ruining anyone's wedding. And boy, did I know it.

"...This was meant to be historic..." Legolas was still raving.

"I'm really sorry. Honest..." Now I was getting annoyed. I know, I know, when your wedding's off it's probably bad but I could only say sorry so many times.

"...And the cake was really lovely, and the bridesmaids dresses and the little pageboys..."

"Look..." I was getting exasperated. I am not the best when it comes to people skills, and it was at this moment when my patience completely ran out. "... I SAID I WAS SORRY. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT WOMAN?!"

Silence enveloped the room. Legolas recoiled from me before taking a deep breath. She took a moment to compose herself before answering.

"Well," She paused glaring down at me, " I suppose we could start with your head. GUARDS!"

"Damn." I muttered. "Ask a stupid question..."

The guards advanced menacingly towards me.

Idiot.

**********************************

How's this for the next chapter? R&R please!