Much love going out to ALL my reviewers! It really does make my day! Lotr. Not. Mine... Pity.

Livin' On The Edge.

I gulped. This looked bad. I watched as the elven guards advanced on me. Now would be a decent moment for someone or indeed something to save me. Nothing happened, as usual. Looks like I'm left to my own devices again, I noted sourly. Hmm. Right then, I wonder how bright these elves really are...

"Please, I'm sorry, don't hurt me..." I babbled. "I didn't mean to upset you Princess. Honest. And my head isn't really worthy of the effort of chopping it off, plus I'd kinda miss it, y'know?"

The guards continued on their slow advance in my direction.

"Please, look I am really really sorry..." I trailed off, time to put my plan into action. "And y'know, I'm not worth the effort, honest, and, and... MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?" I cried, pointing and staring at something behind all the wedding guests.

Instinctively the entire congregation of the ceremony, plus the uninvited guests that had followed me to the wedding swung around to see what I was staring at.

They fell for the oldest trick in the book. And I did the first sensible thing I had done since my arrival in Middle Earth. I ran as fast as I could in the other direction.

***

And I continued running. Amazingly, nothing seemed to have followed me. After a good ooh five minutes of hard running I was exhausted. Hey, come on, I've been running for my life off and on constantly since my arrival in Middle Earth and my energy levels had hit a new all time low. I stopped and collapsed next to a convenient tree trunk.

"Sod the spiders, orcs, elves and whatever else you may have in store for me, including a severely pissed Princess, but I happen to be tired." I commented to the sky. "And I think I deserve a bit of a rest!" With that I opened up my bag, pulled out a packet of crisps and a bar of chocolate and proceeded to stuff myself full of very bad for me snack food.

"Chocolate and crisps." I mused with my mouth full. "Nothing tastes as good as chocolate and crisps. Together. Both flavours mixed in the mouth at once. Call me weird, but this is my idea of heaven. Definitely."

***

I stayed munching for quite some time. Eventually I began to get a little nervous. The forest seemed too quiet. Ever since my arrival something was happening and now silence. It was playing on my nerves.

Another problem was the onset of night. I hadn't bargained on camping out when I was planning my trip. I figured I'd be safely ensconced in the Palace by nightfall and consequently had left out such essentials as well, everything you need for camping out. I considered this to be something of a serious oversight on my part.

"The question is," I said looking up at the darkening sky, "Do I stay here and try and bed down for the night, or do I try my extremely bad luck and go elsewhere? And have I gone completely insane talking up at the sky?" I said suddenly realising what I was doing. "Whatever. Hmm. I think I'll move."

***

Some time later I arrived back at yep, you've guessed it, the Palace. It was eerily quiet. Too quiet, just like the forest. Shifting my bag around on my back and cursing my stupidity at bringing my entire nail varnish collection and being too damn attached to them to chuck them out in the forest I made my way closer to the Palace.

I had decided to do possibly the most stupid thing I had done since embarking on my adventure. In fact considering it was so doomed to failure it was remarkable that I'd got this far. Indeed, it was remarkable that such an idea had occurred to me at all, I mean, ok I'm not the brightest creature but this? It was beyond stupid. Words cannot describe how stupid my plan was. But I was tired, and when I'm tired all logical thought flees because I need sleep.

Let me give you an example. I am the only person I know who has been to a summer dance festival and slept through most of it. Not through overindulgence of anything, but because I was tired. Regardless that the music was loud enough to burst your eardrums and people were dancing madly around me, I slept through it. All of it. I even had people step over my face and I still slept through it. Understand? When I need sleep I cease to function as a relatively normal, sane (well I like to think so at least) person. Which is probably why I had come up with my plan and it had seemed like such a good idea when I thought of it.

After wandering around for some time I found exactly what I wanted. I sank down to sleep with little thought of what danger tomorrow would bring.

"Sod it, I'll worry about it tomorrow." I muttered as sleep finally overcame me.

Idiot.

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The bit about the festival is true. I have no shame. Bad me. R&R please!