Lotr. Not. Mine... Would. Make. Nice. Present. Though. Hint. Hint.
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
"Mmmm." I started to come around. Nice and warm. "What an awful dream. I dreamt I went to Middle Earth and met Princess Legolas!" I murmured as I began to come around. I opened one eye. Then I closed it. Then I opened both eyes and shot up out of my bed.
Correction, not 'my' bed. Not my room either. Realisation hit me. "Fuck me I went and slept in the Palace! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, how the hell am I going to get out of this one? What on earth possessed me? There's no way I'm getting out of this one in one piece or alive."
My muttered panicked speech was interrupted by a groan. "Oh fuck." I whispered as I glanced back at the bed. There appeared to be someone else in the bed. The bed that I had just slept in.
I glanced down at my clothes, remembering that I had changed out of my filthy garments late last night. I gave an inward sigh of relief when I realised that I was still dressed. "Thank God." I muttered, "This adventure is screwed up enough without me shagging some unknown creature."
I realised that I had been so tired the night before that I had collapsed into the first bed I found. Not caring to notice that it was already occupied. Fortunately it seemed they hadn't noticed me and I wanted to keep it that way.
I decided that the best course of action was to leave. And quickly. I made for the door and opened it risking a backward glance at the figure still sleeping soundly in the bed. They seemed to be asleep. I sighed with relief and turned to make my way out of the room.
Unfortunately my sense of humour found something amazingly funny about the predicament I was escaping from and I found myself babbling a long forgotten beer advert.
"Time for a sharp exit. Time for a cool sharp Harp!" I clamped my mouth shut realising that I was swiftly becoming hysterical. "Pull yourself together girl!" I whispered fiercely to myself, "Now is not the time to fall apart!"
I stepped out of the room. Then I stopped as I noticed two feet right in front of mine. My gaze travelled up to face a very beautiful and very, very angry female elf. Not Legolas. Well, that was a start.
"Now is the time to fall apart." I said aloud realising I had been caught. I didn't know just how right I was.
***
"So, what exactly were you doing in my husband-to-be's bedroom?" The elf asked.
"Ahh." Just my luck! I cringed. Was I destined to mess up every elf in Mirkwood's private life? I wondered.
"Well? Nothing to say? Perhaps we should ask him then, yes?"
I was confused. Why hadn't she called the guards yet? Then it hit me. Yesterday I had looked like some creature out of a mud pit. Last night I had managed to clean myself up and change out of my clothes. She hadn't recognised me yet. "Well, thank the Valar for something." I muttered silently, "As long as no one recognises me, I should be okay." I heaved a sigh of relief. Looks like I'll be keeping my head a little while longer. I noted smugly.
***
"Or maybe not." I said sourly. "Fucking hell. It had to be you." I said managing to infuse some of the disgust I felt for the elf who had just got up out of bed into what I had said. Well, who else could it be? Yes, you've guessed. Ver-fucking-borion. Joy.
Idiot.
*************************************
I spent the night with him! And I didn't kill him! But will he put himself out of his misery and kill me? R&R please!
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
"Mmmm." I started to come around. Nice and warm. "What an awful dream. I dreamt I went to Middle Earth and met Princess Legolas!" I murmured as I began to come around. I opened one eye. Then I closed it. Then I opened both eyes and shot up out of my bed.
Correction, not 'my' bed. Not my room either. Realisation hit me. "Fuck me I went and slept in the Palace! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, how the hell am I going to get out of this one? What on earth possessed me? There's no way I'm getting out of this one in one piece or alive."
My muttered panicked speech was interrupted by a groan. "Oh fuck." I whispered as I glanced back at the bed. There appeared to be someone else in the bed. The bed that I had just slept in.
I glanced down at my clothes, remembering that I had changed out of my filthy garments late last night. I gave an inward sigh of relief when I realised that I was still dressed. "Thank God." I muttered, "This adventure is screwed up enough without me shagging some unknown creature."
I realised that I had been so tired the night before that I had collapsed into the first bed I found. Not caring to notice that it was already occupied. Fortunately it seemed they hadn't noticed me and I wanted to keep it that way.
I decided that the best course of action was to leave. And quickly. I made for the door and opened it risking a backward glance at the figure still sleeping soundly in the bed. They seemed to be asleep. I sighed with relief and turned to make my way out of the room.
Unfortunately my sense of humour found something amazingly funny about the predicament I was escaping from and I found myself babbling a long forgotten beer advert.
"Time for a sharp exit. Time for a cool sharp Harp!" I clamped my mouth shut realising that I was swiftly becoming hysterical. "Pull yourself together girl!" I whispered fiercely to myself, "Now is not the time to fall apart!"
I stepped out of the room. Then I stopped as I noticed two feet right in front of mine. My gaze travelled up to face a very beautiful and very, very angry female elf. Not Legolas. Well, that was a start.
"Now is the time to fall apart." I said aloud realising I had been caught. I didn't know just how right I was.
***
"So, what exactly were you doing in my husband-to-be's bedroom?" The elf asked.
"Ahh." Just my luck! I cringed. Was I destined to mess up every elf in Mirkwood's private life? I wondered.
"Well? Nothing to say? Perhaps we should ask him then, yes?"
I was confused. Why hadn't she called the guards yet? Then it hit me. Yesterday I had looked like some creature out of a mud pit. Last night I had managed to clean myself up and change out of my clothes. She hadn't recognised me yet. "Well, thank the Valar for something." I muttered silently, "As long as no one recognises me, I should be okay." I heaved a sigh of relief. Looks like I'll be keeping my head a little while longer. I noted smugly.
***
"Or maybe not." I said sourly. "Fucking hell. It had to be you." I said managing to infuse some of the disgust I felt for the elf who had just got up out of bed into what I had said. Well, who else could it be? Yes, you've guessed. Ver-fucking-borion. Joy.
Idiot.
*************************************
I spent the night with him! And I didn't kill him! But will he put himself out of his misery and kill me? R&R please!
