apologies for all who are waiting patiently for the next chapter I know I'm
taking my time. May put another up tomorrow - if not it'll be next week.
Still ain't mine - but I'm working on it!
Crying.
And so I rode after Thingaladion. At first I didn't bother opening my eyes but after getting smacked in the face by a low hanging branch I figured I'd be safer if I actually looked to see where I was going. I just had to make sure I didn't look down.
***
Thingaladion was stunned to see me catch up with him. Seems I picked one of the fastest horses that Mirkwood possessed, but I didn't find that fact out until later. All I knew was that the beast that I was riding seemed determined to catch up with Thingaladion, regardless of whether I was still managing to hold onto it or not.
And holding on was my main priority. Holding on and staying on.
"Fuck Thingaladion," I muttered to myself as I ducked yet another branch, "All I care about it staying alive."
***
After what seemed like an eternity, and muscles I didn't know I even had began to protest, I realised that unless I actually did something Thingaladion would ride to Mordor and back before he stopped.
"Something must be done." I declared firmly sitting up straighter on my horse.
We had now made it out of the forest and getting whacked across the head by branches was not so much of a threat out in the open. Which I was truly grateful for.
The problem was I had no weapons. No real ones anyway. No rope for lassoing and tying him up, no bow and arrow to shoot him and disable him with... Not that I was actually capable of doing any of those things, I mused. "But hey - it would have been nice to try y'know?" I commented to my horse.
My horse snorted in response.
***
We were still riding hard and by now I was getting desperate. Amazingly our horses were pretty much neck and neck, but I figured that was more due to my inexperience as a rider than any skill on my part. I got the feeling that my horse could go much faster with someone who could actually ride as opposed to me who was just clinging on for dear life.
In utter despair I turned my attention to my bag which I had picked up before chasing after Thingaladion.
"I could throw it at him..." I pondered, "It is kinda heavy... But knowing my luck I'd miss... Hmmm..."
And then it occurred to me. It was time to make my ultimate sacrifice. Oh yes.
***
"OUCH! What the?" Thingaladion turned his head to see what had just hit him. "ARGH! You evil spawn of Sauron!" He cried.
I grinned evilly and took careful aim. If I was making this sacrifice then each shot was going to count, I noted grimly as I let fly.
"OWWWWW!"
Again I let fly with my most precious possessions, this time a swift left hand and then right hand. My makeshift missiles made contact with his head. Thingaladion made a weird sort of snort and then crumpled in his saddle, before falling heavily off his horse.
My horse came to an almost immediate stop as Thingaladion fell and I found myself sailing over the horse's head and landing uncomfortably in a heap.
Five minutes later I staggered to my feet and inspected the damage. It was horrifying.
"Damn you, you stupid horse!" I howled in frustration and disbelief, "You've broken my favourite one!"
And I sunk to my knees and wept over the injustice of it all. Forget Thingaladion lying unconscious at my feet, forget Veborion who was stabbed, forget Sindaringevardaanwen who thought I had married her boyfriend and forget Legolas whose wedding I had ruined.
I wept for something more important than any of these. I wept for the sacrifice I had made to capture Thingaladion. I wept for the thing that mattered most to me. And I wept for the fact that my favourite was no more. I bawled at the sacrifice that I had made for Middle Earth. I cried over what was now no more.
Yes, people, I wept for my NAIL VARNISH.
And I have no shame about that fact.
Idiot.
*******************************
Curious fact, I do indeed have a lot of nail varnish. Currently its somewhere around the 200 bottle mark (I kid you not) I can't tell you what the exact number is as it's been a while since I counted them - but bear in mind the last time I did it went from somewhere around the 100 mark to somewhere around the 200 mark. I think you get the picture. And no, before you ask, I do NOT have them all - although I wish I did. *grins* And everyone I know thinks I'm mad... But I am real easy to buy presents for. I had 16 different nail varnishes for Christmas...
And now that I think about it, I probably would cry if anything happened to them. Some are irreplaceable. Sad - but hey I'm well aware of that fact. It could be worse, I could have an obsession with toe nail clippings or something. Now THAT would be bad! R&R please!
Crying.
And so I rode after Thingaladion. At first I didn't bother opening my eyes but after getting smacked in the face by a low hanging branch I figured I'd be safer if I actually looked to see where I was going. I just had to make sure I didn't look down.
***
Thingaladion was stunned to see me catch up with him. Seems I picked one of the fastest horses that Mirkwood possessed, but I didn't find that fact out until later. All I knew was that the beast that I was riding seemed determined to catch up with Thingaladion, regardless of whether I was still managing to hold onto it or not.
And holding on was my main priority. Holding on and staying on.
"Fuck Thingaladion," I muttered to myself as I ducked yet another branch, "All I care about it staying alive."
***
After what seemed like an eternity, and muscles I didn't know I even had began to protest, I realised that unless I actually did something Thingaladion would ride to Mordor and back before he stopped.
"Something must be done." I declared firmly sitting up straighter on my horse.
We had now made it out of the forest and getting whacked across the head by branches was not so much of a threat out in the open. Which I was truly grateful for.
The problem was I had no weapons. No real ones anyway. No rope for lassoing and tying him up, no bow and arrow to shoot him and disable him with... Not that I was actually capable of doing any of those things, I mused. "But hey - it would have been nice to try y'know?" I commented to my horse.
My horse snorted in response.
***
We were still riding hard and by now I was getting desperate. Amazingly our horses were pretty much neck and neck, but I figured that was more due to my inexperience as a rider than any skill on my part. I got the feeling that my horse could go much faster with someone who could actually ride as opposed to me who was just clinging on for dear life.
In utter despair I turned my attention to my bag which I had picked up before chasing after Thingaladion.
"I could throw it at him..." I pondered, "It is kinda heavy... But knowing my luck I'd miss... Hmmm..."
And then it occurred to me. It was time to make my ultimate sacrifice. Oh yes.
***
"OUCH! What the?" Thingaladion turned his head to see what had just hit him. "ARGH! You evil spawn of Sauron!" He cried.
I grinned evilly and took careful aim. If I was making this sacrifice then each shot was going to count, I noted grimly as I let fly.
"OWWWWW!"
Again I let fly with my most precious possessions, this time a swift left hand and then right hand. My makeshift missiles made contact with his head. Thingaladion made a weird sort of snort and then crumpled in his saddle, before falling heavily off his horse.
My horse came to an almost immediate stop as Thingaladion fell and I found myself sailing over the horse's head and landing uncomfortably in a heap.
Five minutes later I staggered to my feet and inspected the damage. It was horrifying.
"Damn you, you stupid horse!" I howled in frustration and disbelief, "You've broken my favourite one!"
And I sunk to my knees and wept over the injustice of it all. Forget Thingaladion lying unconscious at my feet, forget Veborion who was stabbed, forget Sindaringevardaanwen who thought I had married her boyfriend and forget Legolas whose wedding I had ruined.
I wept for something more important than any of these. I wept for the sacrifice I had made to capture Thingaladion. I wept for the thing that mattered most to me. And I wept for the fact that my favourite was no more. I bawled at the sacrifice that I had made for Middle Earth. I cried over what was now no more.
Yes, people, I wept for my NAIL VARNISH.
And I have no shame about that fact.
Idiot.
*******************************
Curious fact, I do indeed have a lot of nail varnish. Currently its somewhere around the 200 bottle mark (I kid you not) I can't tell you what the exact number is as it's been a while since I counted them - but bear in mind the last time I did it went from somewhere around the 100 mark to somewhere around the 200 mark. I think you get the picture. And no, before you ask, I do NOT have them all - although I wish I did. *grins* And everyone I know thinks I'm mad... But I am real easy to buy presents for. I had 16 different nail varnishes for Christmas...
And now that I think about it, I probably would cry if anything happened to them. Some are irreplaceable. Sad - but hey I'm well aware of that fact. It could be worse, I could have an obsession with toe nail clippings or something. Now THAT would be bad! R&R please!
