Continue Episode 1

Snape strutted into the Great Hall holding the leather jacket over his shoulder. Hermione and Draco walked in a few feet behind him (rather like body guards). There were a few whistles and scattered applause.

Snape walked right up to the staff table and took Professor Trelawney's hand. He kissed it and said, "Let's do lunch!" He raised his eyes suggestively and she giggled. This was all to much for Minerva; she passed out onto the stone floor.

Hermione walked over to McGonagall and checked her pulse nonchalantly. "Draco, send this one to Madame Pomfrey as well."

Meanwhile, Harry sat eating his soup with shaking hands. Ginny looked at him concernedly.

"Whats up Harry," She asked.

He didn't even turn towards her. He had gone bug-eyed. He muttered, "Snape.blonde .hug..Hermione.Draco." He continued to eat his soup, in this state. When the soup was gone, he continued to direct the spoon towards his mouth.

"I always knew 'e was a bit off," Seamus said, grabbing one of Harry's arms, "Now 'elp me out over 'ere, Dean."

Dean shrugged and grabbed a sandwich. Together Dean and Seamus carried Harry away towards the tower. Luckily, when they thought they couldn't carry Harry any further, Crabbe and Goyle showed up.

"You take 'im. I can't carry 'im no more." Seamus said, dropping Harry at their feet.

Crabbe and Goyle shrugged and carried Harry easily to the nearest empty classroom. They sniggered, intending to stuff Harry into the smallest wastebasket they could find. However, their brilliant plan was spoiled when they walked into the not-so-empty classroom. They were appalled to see that the classroom was occupied by none other than Snape and Trelawney. They were under a desk snogging. Harry shrieked and fell out of Goyle and Crabbe's arms. He lay on the floor convulsing.

Trelawney and Snape untangled themselves from the desk (and each other). Snape stood up to his full height and loomed over them. "Inspecting the quality of these desks. Poor craftsmanship these days." Snaps said.

"Yes, can't be too careful, can we," Trelawney agreed.

Crabbe and Goyle just stood there. Harry stood up, twitching.

Finally Crabbe said, "Gee Professor, I didn't know we had problems with the desks."

"Neither did I." Goyle puzzled.

Harry stopped twitching and sniggered. "That's because we don't; atleast we didn't until after they were all over the desk."

"Did you ever hear the saying 'If three witness a crime, then five shall die.'?" Trelawney asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, no." Harry admitted.

"Oy, that's because she made it up, stupid." Ron said, stepping through the door.

"Ron, where have you been the last two chapters?!" Harry exclaimed.

"That isn't really important, but. Harry duck!!!"

"Ooh where?" Harry asked, spinning around to look for the cute little creature.

He was face to face with Professor Trelawney. She was brandishing her crystal ball, as though she might chuck it at him.

AN: Where WAS Ron the last chapter? Will Trelawney let Harry have it? Was Snape really inspecting the desk? *snigger* Will Harry have a permanent twitch? And did Dean ever finish eating his sandwich?! To find out the answer to these and many other questions, REVIEW and tune in next time. Chugs caffeinated beverage! Cheers!