Disclaimer: i do not own any star wars character, all of these familiar characters (and thats all you'll probably find in my star wars stories) belong to Mr.George Lucas, he is the one in charge of killing the world's greatest story. Im just a wannabe. REally.

Author's note: This is making fun of the person who knows nothing about star wars writing a fic. I actually know alot about the series and get really irritated when someone who knows nothing about it tries to write a story about it. This is for you other folk who are also pissed. Thank you.(in other words, this is not how i write, unless the mood strikes me to write like so, such as my story about me and boba fett going to olive garden)




The Star WArs idiot Collection
by mr.poop



Intro to story 1: this one just portrays an idiot who doesnt know when in hell this is going on and doesnt really know the boundaries of a jedi knight. Its probably an 11 year old, due to the poor skills with language. He/she does not know the deep meaning of Star Wars and will never bother to try to find out.

Story 1
Luke and the Sand People


One day Luke was on Tattoine walking around. He decided to go shoot some sand people becuz he likes doing things like that. Suddenly, he was attacked! In all irony, by sand people!

BAM!

SWOOSH!

FLASH!

"Whoo. What a mob of them! aye, R2?"
"beep beep beep"
"Hahaha. Your so funny R2."

While the Sand people was dying and the odd pair was laughing, A strange figure appeared out of no where.

"Luke, Luke. Its me. Obi Wan."

"Ben! Great to see ya buddy. So hows every little thing?"

"Luke, ive recieved word that the emporer is still alive. You have to go and kill him yourself this time*, since your father is no longer with us."

"Why cant he just be all spirity and stuff too?"
"He just cant luke."

"alright"

"I really think its kind of rediculous that he would actually be alive."

"well he is. But we cant stand around and talk about it when there is work to be done about it."

"yeah thats true"

"Yes it is. The emporer is on the small planet alderan, and is very weak since his fall. You must go to alderan and destroy him right away"

"beep beep beep"

"Yeah thats true R2! Ben, i thought alderann was destroyed by the death star!"

"So it was luke...so it was."

Luke goes off and meets hans and has absolutely no idea where he could be. Suddenly luke has a grand idea, An absolute grand idea that he could use the.....FORCE to try and find him.

"Hans ill use the force to find him. I cant sense him anywhere."

Leia pops in out of nowhere and says,"how can you not sense him? Hes right on Naboo you idiots. Lets go!"

Hans stops her in her tracks and says," i dont think you should go. Its a little dangerous dont ya think?"

"I can beat him just as easily as you can. Which is hard. I think this is lukes battle."

"Who me? Well i guess it is. I suppose i got to go. "

"Luke, you are amazing, i know you can do it!"

"yeah ill try."

They all smile and have an uncomfortable moment of silence before han jumps out and says,

"may the force be with you"

Luke smiled and got into his spaceship. he turned on the the start button and lifted off.
His spaceship was so fast, he automattically turned to hyperdrive.When he finally reached naboo, he walked into the old palace, where unknown to him, his mother gave birth to him there.

"Wow this is all too familiar." said luke.

"isnt it though young skywalker." said the emporer.

"Emporer! How did you survive?"

"Its quite simple really. There is so much hate and fear in humanity today. I could live off of it for years. hahhahahah."

"You arent alive. You cant be!"

"You cannot be afraid of me. I am now just a simple *cough* struggling old man. And i dont think i can live too long fom now."

"but you just said you could live for years off of humanity's fear and hate?"

"so i did luke...so i did..."

The emporor died and was never heard from again. Luke was awarded metals for a battle he did not fight, and he was once again, a galactic hero.

The end
................how gay

*There is no way in hell the emporer could be alive because Vader killing him was the way he redeemed himself. The only way vader could have been redeemed was to kill his "master". So really this whole story was based on a stupid stupid idea. Thats why i wrote it. To make fun of stupid people who try to write.

coming soon....
Story 2
Padme and Obi Wan: the secret love
hey do you have an overused story plot that really pisses you off and you would like me to make fun of them in an attempt to drive their existense out? EMAIL ME!!! I NEEDS BRAIN HELP :starbubbles61@hotmail.com or put it on the review thing