"Ah, ah, ah, Elrond, asparagus is not a sword."

"Why?"

"Because it's FOOD, not a weapon!"

SMACK!

"Correction, asparagus is a weapon."

Elrohir smirked behind his hand, and grabbing a fork, he speared a green stalk on the utensil. Holding it up, he demonstrated smothering it in melted butter, loyally getting it soaked, and raised it to a vertical stance on his fork, watching the thick yellow substance drip down back into the bowl. As messily as he could, Elrohir chewed and ate the vegetable, giving Elrond a chance to see real sea food up close.

"Elrohir! That's disgusting! You really are a bad influence on children."

Stuffing some broccoli into his mouth and chewing quickly, Elrohir gave Glorfindel the same treatment. "Yeaf, woll, id isft like yob neva donb et."

"Swallow and try again."

"Good gods, *I* can do better than that!"

"Don't prompt him, Elladan! It's bad enough as it is!"

"I'm not talking about Elrohir, I'm talkin' about Elrond! Lookit that! I've never seen *anyone* do the chipmunk impression with mashed potatoes before!"

"WHAT?!"

"COOL!"

Glorfindel glared at the twins sharply, grabbing Elrond's hands and cleaning them with a nearby towel. He proceeded to scold the child in a harsh whisper, reprimanding him with a small smack on the nose. Elrond closed his eyes and opened them in time to hear his nanny chide him a little more before wagging the towel at Elladan. "I blame this all on you, since it is your fault."

"Our fault?" Elladan took the mashed potato bowl away, giving Glorfindel an innocent, surprised glance. "Yes, I slipped a little something into his wine last night, but come on! Elrohir said…"

"AH-HAH!" Elrond jumped in his seat, shrinking back into the cushions when his 'nanny' shouted unexpectedly, wincing and turning his head to bury his face in the soft velvety pillows of the chair at Glorfindel's upraised hand that he drew up quickly at his exclamation. Elrohir frowned, furrowing his eyebrows at the child, ignoring the other two Elves to observe this behavior.

"You said ELROHIR wanted a child, yes, so you turned Elrond into one. And here *I* am taking care of him when *you* two should, since you will have to if you ever have one."

"…really…?"

"Don't give me that! You know perfectly well that you'll have to take care of it yourself!"

Meanwhile, oblivious to Elrohir's notice of him, Elrond slipped soundlessly out of the chair and onto the floor. Rubbing his nose, he walked over to the railing of the study they all had gathered in, reaching out to a very low branch and, muttering an apology, broke off a good-sized twig from the tree of his choice. Elrohir narrowed his eyes. The twig Elrond had chosen was about half the length of his arm, and full of protruding branches that would hurt if touched, as they were sharp.

Elrond nibbled on his lip, bending the broken piece in his hands. Though it appeared to be strong and would break at the slightest arch, it was flexible and would be a nice playing sword for youngsters. Carrying it back over to the table, he stood at Glorfindel's side, looking up at the blonde Elf. Elrohir raised an eyebrow.

"…and you should take caution!"

"You perplex me, Glor. You really do."

"Makes your mind work a little harder. Back to the problem here, Elrond is…" Elrond tugged carefully on Glorfindel's robes, head still tilted up to look at the older Elf intently, as if reading his mind. Glorfindel looked down to see the child with the switch in his hand and blinked. "What are you doing with that, Elrond?"

Wordlessly, Elrond seized the lean hand, opening it up from the fist and placed the twig into his palm. Closing the fingers around it, he stepped back and stood there as if waiting for something to happen, his eyes never leaving Glorfindel's face. Elladan shot a curious look in his brother's direction and received a glance of suspicion. Furrowing his eyebrows, Glorfindel set his steady gaze on the child.

"What do you want me to do with this, Elrond? It had better not be what I think it is."

Mouth twitching, the small brunette Elf took off his shirt, dropping the garment on the floor. Then he stood awaiting what he expected the elder would carry out, his face expressionless. Elladan shifted his eyes back over to the scene at hand, looking at Elrond but speaking to Glorfindel. "Does he want you to hit him," he asked in a hushed voice, twisting his fingers into his hair. Glorfindel refused to meet the twin's stare.

"I don't know," he replied as quietly as the question was asked. Louder, he said, "Elrond, tell me what you want to do. I don't understand." When Elrond turned his back on him and looked over his shoulder expectantly, his nanny sighed. "Actions are not helping. Tell me in words."

"I…" Elrond began, searching for the right words that he thought wouldn't anger the blonde. "I was being bad, and every time I was bad Ada* would tell me to get a switch and he would…"

"Enough." Elrohir stood, walking over and squatting down in front of the Elven child, locking eyes with him. "Have we hit you at all for all the times you've been naughty today?" Elrond shook his head. "Then why do you expect us to hit you now?"

Shifting his weight, the youngling didn't have an answer. "Darling, neither of us is your father, and neither of us is going to hit you, and Glorfindel wouldn't be caught dead giving the switch to a kid." Elrohir smiled softly, cupping Elrond's jaw in his hands. "Okay?"

Elladan looked over Glorfindel's shoulder for the reaction, fingering a pen in his hand. Glorfindel stood silent, waiting for whatever may happen. Elrond nodded, wrapping his arms around Elrohir's neck, burying his face in the raven hair when he was lifted up in the twin's arms. Glorfindel gave a sigh of relief, walking back over to the balcony and throwing the twig out into the trees. Elladan smiled, and reaching casually for a spoon and mashed squash, he scooped up more than enough of the orange mush, hiding it behind his back when his tutor turned back around.

When both brother, child, and tutor had turned his back on him, Elladan took a large spoonful of melted marshmallows and mixed them both together hurriedly in a small cup. Grinning devilishly at the sight of his concoction, he took another spoonful and, as soon as the three pivoted back to face, him, flung the mess at them, howling with laughter at the sight of lover and teacher dripping in the disgusting mess. Interesting it was, since Elrond was completely unscathed and delighted to see this, and even more so when Elrohir struck back with strawberry sauce, dousing his brother in the sticky substance.

Glorfindel obediently stood back against the wall as both twins ran past him, shouting at each other jokingly and just about starting another terrible food fight. When they were gone, Elrond looked up at the blonde, whose eyes were looking down at him. Smiling, Glorfindel ran his marshmallow and squash-covered fingers through the silky brown hair, eliciting happy giggles from the younger. Snuggling into his arms, Elrond nuzzled against the firm chest, closing his eyes and quietly slipping into slumber.

Glorfindel smiled. He had always loved children, and has always loved his lord like the loyal friend he was. Ah, but now with the little mishap, he felt he knew Elrond just a little better, and he would be absolutely sure to use this experience as blackmail in the future.

Laying the sleeping form on a mass of downy pillows, Glorfindel walked airily over to his lord's vast collection of herbs and remedies. Shuffling through the bottles, he found the one Elladan had experimented with the night before, hidden behind an eye of newt and - Glorfindel suppressed a giggle - a brown bunch of mint leaves that he had presented to Elrond years prior, and ever since was a stupid inside joke they shared from time to time.*

Smirking, he opened the vial and sprinkled a white powder into the wine- coloured potion, quickly screwing the top back on, hiding it in his robes. Lifting a neat golden eyebrow, he glanced over in the direction the twins had left in, his mouth curling upwards. It was now *his* turn to play the game, and his turn to win.

~***~

Notes

Ada – I stand corrected! Thank you Rociriel for setting me straight:

"Ada" is "Daddy". "Atar" is "Father" (as in Iluv-atar)

Brown mint leaves – Hurray for inside jokes! That story will be revealed later, nyah nyah. *g*

Ideas and suggestions welcome!