*Living risky, never scared*









"Wow, oh boy, I mean sir, that building blew up, I wasn't scared! Not one bit! Not me! I-"



"Carter!"



"Okay, so maybe I was a little scared, but I mean. . ."



"It's ok, Carter, we all get scared some times," Hogan said putting his arm around Carter's shoulders.

"Really?" Carter asked, turning to face his commander.



"Yeah… really," Hogan smiled.









*Wander closer to the edge*





Hogan ran, holding the packet of papers close to him. He wasn't paying any attention to where he was going, only the patrols chasing him, so he barely stopped in time when he looked ahead to find himself at the edge of a ravine. Hogan backed up and ran next to it, hoping his pursuers would not be so lucky.











*Nothing valued think no fear, always

Wondering why you're here

All you purposes are gone,

Nothing's right and nothing wrong,

Nothing ventured, nothing gained,

Feel no sorrow, feel no pain*





"Sir," Kinch said, reading the latest message from London.



"Yes Kinch, what is it?" Hogan asked curiously.



"You're not going to like it." Kinch handed the note to Hogan, who read it aloud to the others.

"It appears, old chaps, that the code book you got was the old one. It is a bit of sticky wicket, but we could really use the new one. Goldilocks."



"Well that's bloody great. We gained nothing of value, and nearly lose our guv'nor at that. Sometimes I wonder why we're even here," Newkirk sighed despairingly.



"Don't say that, mon ami, we are fighting this war," Lebeau protested, his patriotic spirit getting the best of him.



"At least you don't screw up every time you do something! I don't do anything right," Carter said, somewhat out of the blue.



"But you don't do any thing wrong either," Kinch pointed out. The sudden burst of low morale in the room was enough to make his spirits drop, and he was eager to restore the former cheeriness the men held.



"You know we did learn something out of this." Hogan paused for a moment at the men's puzzled expressions. He explained, "We know that our contact was getting false information."



"Nothing ventured, and you will gain nothing," Kinch said quietly. The others nodded. Hogan sighed silently to himself, glad the others did not catch his slip. 'They don't need to know that the contact was killed-only Kinch and London knows. No time to feel sorrow or much of anything, just time to set up another meeting. And hope that this person has the new book. Just another death to chalk up to this war.'









*Kiss me while I'm still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky*



"You know, it's very dangerous to be in the Underground," Hogan smiled.



"If this is one of those, 'I May Die Tomorrow' speeches to get me to kiss you. . . " the beautiful female operative began.



Hogan laughed, "Yes it is. So?" Hogan raised an eyebrow, slipping his arms around her waist.



"If you answer a question first," the operative evaded his arms.



"What?"



"If you could kiss anyone, who would you kiss?" she asked seriously.



Hogan thought about it, then answered with a grin, "The sky. I miss kissing it." The woman smiled before leaning in for a kiss.









*Let me die on my own terms*





"Here's the new code book. It was a difficult battle, but I got it," Hogan announced, throwing the book on the table in front of his team.



"Yeah, those pretty girls can be quite deadly," Newkirk said sarcastically, pointing to the red lipstick mark on Hogan's cheek.



Hogan tried hiding a smirk, before defending himself with, "Well, we all have to face that battle sometime. This time it was my turn."



The others laughed and Newkirk commented dreamily, "I wish I could have battles like that!"













*Let me live and let me learn

Now I'll follow my own way*





"What are you doing?" Hogan questioned, ambling up next to Carter. Carter glanced up from the mess he was knitting before answering.



"I'm croknitweaving," Carter smiled, "I've invented it." He frowned. "I've made a lot of mistakes, but it's ok, I'm learning." Hogan just smiled and wandered off, leaving the slightly insane explosive expert to finish his...whatever it was.













*And I'll live on to another damn day

Freedom carries sacrifice,

Remember when this was my life*





Hogan awoke from a startling nightmare. It wasn't the first time he had it, but it still thoroughly frightened him. He remembered it in vivid detail-it was the one where he was shot down. His entire crew had died. No matter what Hogan did, he survived. Why wasn't he dead? Instead he was stuck in a POW camp. His mind was free, his spirt was bloodied, his body a prisoner.



"I can hardly remember when this was my life."











*Look forward, not behind,

Everybody's got to cross that line,

Free me now to give me a place,

Keep me caged and free the beast,

Falling faster, time goes by,

Fear is not seen these eyes.

What there was will never be,

Now I'm blind and cannot see*





"When will this bloody war be over?" Newkirk groused quietly as he played solitaire.



"Soon, mon ami, soon," Lebeau comforted, stirring soup in a pot.



"We're caged up in this camp, never allowed to show fear. Not allowed to think about the past. What are we doing?" Newkirk started to pace, allowing his footsteps to take out the frustration he felt.



"We're doing our job. What we were before we never can be. We have to just roll with the punches," Hogan administered his wisdom in a soft voice.











*Kiss me while I'm still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky

Let me die on my own terms,

Let me live and let me learn

Now I'll follow my own way, and

I'll live on to another dame day

Freedom carries sacrifice,

Remember when this was my life*





"Guv'nor?" Newkirk knocked on Hogan's door.



"Come in Newkirk," a reply floated to his ears. The Colonel twisted from his desk to face the Briton. "What can I help you with?"



"Sir, if you could do anything, what would you do? Anything… even if it killed you," Newkirk asked, standing by the small table where Hogan was doing some paperwork.



"What do you mean by that?" Hogan said evenly, though a frown showed on handsome features.



"Well, I've always wanted to steal the crown jewels. I'd probably be executed for it, but I would be famous," Newkirk explained. Hogan leaned back in his chair, considering the question posed for him.



"Me? I want to love, have kids, make mistakes that only affect me, make my own way, control my own life, and to fly. But we all have to make sacrifices," Hogan answered. Newkirk nodded and turned to leave.



"Oh, and Newkirk? Please don't do anything stupid. You may not be famous, but to your children and grandchildren, you'll be a hero."











*Kiss me while I'm still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky

Let me die on my own terms,

Let me live and let me learn

Now I'll follow my own way, and

I'll live on to another damn day

Freedom carries sacrifice,

Remember when this was my life*





That night Newkirk dreamed of getting married, having kids, and teaching them of the great Papa Bear and his gang, of opening a pub or a theater, of having grandchildren running around under foot, and talking to his friends. Not once did he dream of the crown jewels.





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I'd like to give a great thanks to Kits, For beta checking it. Well what did you guys think? Should I continue? :)

Oh yeah I don't own any of this, other than the idea.

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