All of a sudden that nagging sensation pulled Rory under

Rain

Chapter 4 – Butterflies

Rory sat in the passenger side of Tristan's car staring blankly out the tinted windows, eyes not focusing on anything in particular. The landscaping passed by in one huge blur.

Tristan still wasn't quite sure exactly what had happened back at Chilton, but the second he heard Rory say that her mother was at the hospital, he had forced Rory back to his car and sped off towards Stars Hollow. All he was sure of was the way Rory had felt in his arms. So soft and warm. He had never felt anything like that in his life. Even from his grandfather.

Reaching up instinctively to the necklace he always wore hidden underneath his uniform, Tristan began rolling the small diamond ring in between his thumb and index finger. He glanced over at the hunched form in the seat next to him, worry flooding his mind. He cared for her so deeply, and he kept pushing her further and further away.

It wasn't as if he meant to. Perhaps it was an instinct. It was hard for Tristan to let people in. But for some reason, when he saw Rory there in front of him so distraught, he had done the only thing he could. He held her.

Who knew. Maybe she still hated him, and always would. But the fact that she fit so perfectly next to his body would be forever imprinted in his mind.

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The car began to slow, and things outside slowly came into focus. Rory pressed her nose up against the glass, not caring that Tristan would most likely have an aneurysm when he discovered the smudged noseprint on his window. She longed to be with her mother. Everything outside reminded Rory of her. The playground across the street where she took Rory as a child. The ice cream vendor that set up shop on the edge of town every year, staying until the temperature dipped well below freezing. Lorelai would always drag Rory there on the first day of winter, ordering them both triple scoops of chocolate chip ice cream. She claimed winter was the best season for such delicacies; you could savor them for as long as you wanted because they didn't melt.

"I miss her already." Rory said, face still up against the glass.

Tristan didn't say a word, dropping the ring he still held between his fingers, and placing his hand gently over Rory's. They drove the rest of the way in silence, Tristan's thumb making soothing circles across Rory's palm.

The car came to a stop. Neither moved.

"I feel like a horrible person." Rory admitted, slowly pulling her face away from the window and turning to look at Tristan.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I should have been on my way here the second I heard. Instead I'm sitting out here like a coward."

"You're not a coward." He frowned, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Yes I am. I'm too scared to even go in there. She needs me, and all I can think about is that hospital smell and that hospital feeling and these damn butterflies that keep eating the inside of my stomach." She made no move to leave the car, looking down at her stomach accusingly.

Tristan picked up the necklace again. "She needs you." he repeated.

Rory sighed. "I know. She does."

"That must be a… nice feeling." He looked down at the bottom button of his blazer, fingers still grasping the ring, rolling it back and forth. Back and forth.

Rory made a face. "You're going to start a fire with that thing."

A blush crept up his face. He dropped the ring and swept it back underneath his shirt in one quick movement. "Don't change the subject."

Her expression soured. "Don't be an asshole." she retorted.

Looking up in shock and anger, Tristan's shields came back up. "Look, just because you can't even step into a damned hospital doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."

Rory began to make a comeback, sitting up sharply in the plush leather seat, when she realized he was right. She sank back down, defeated. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He turned around quickly, staring out the windshield, attempting to be expressionless. But the hurt was painted plainly on his face.

Sighing again, she closed her eyes and wondered just exactly how her life had turned into a living hell. Rubbing her temples, Rory forced her mind and her heart to stop racing. She felt like she was about to get into a fistfight with a train.

"Tristan, I…" She took a deep breath. "I don't know where my mind is right now. I'm just… scared."

He swallowed the words that were rising in his throat. Now was not the time to remind Rory why she hated him so much. Tristan patted his neck self-consciously, making sure his necklace was hidden safely under the folds of the fabric, then reached for the door handle.

"You can do this." he said, glancing at Rory.

"I can do this." she repeated, not believing a word of it.

Tristan pulled his hand away from the door and turned towards her. "Rory, you're the strongest person I know. Not to mention the smartest, most genuinely nice, beautiful…" he trailed off, embarrassed. "If anyone can do this, you can."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Thank you." She was barely audible, speaking as softly as she could, afraid she wouldn't be able to take in another breath for quite some time.

Beating down the butterflies once again, Rory swung the door open. The late autumn breeze chilled her, and she shivered, although she wasn't quite sure that was the reason why. She pulled her sweater tightly around her small frame and hesitantly stepped out of the car. Tristan met her on the passenger side, closing the door and standing next to her.

Rory reached down and grasped Tristan's hand. She needed all the strength she could get. At the moment she wasn't sure her legs could even carry her the short distance across the parking lot to the hospital entrance.

At the touch of Rory's small hand slipping into his, Tristan got butterflies of his own. He was nervous for Rory, worried about her. But this wasn't the cause of his caterpillars blossoming and taking flight. He had been right all along. All through the teasing and taunting, jealousy and hatred, he had been right.

Tristan DuGrey was honestly, head over heels in love with Rory Gilmore. He sighed. Right now, Rory didn't need another admirer. What she needed was a friend, and that was exactly what he was going to give her.

He took a step forward, gently tugging on Rory's arm. She knew he was right; she had to go. Taking the first step carefully, Rory looked down at her feet.

"You're right." They continued walking slowly.

"What?" Tristan asked, confused.

"Being needed. It's a nice feeling."

He looked at her, smiling sadly.

"I know."