Rain
Chapter 5 – Gone
The automatic doors swung open, blasting Rory and Tristan with the sickening smell of the hospital. Rory was tempted to turn around and walk right back out, but that would mean letting go of Tristan's hand. His tight, comforting grip was the only thing keeping her from screaming. Or crying.
They slowly walked towards the nurses' station. Rory, not wanting to acknowledge the head nurse's apologetic stare, took in the waiting room. The floor was covered in hard, colorless tile, probably the treasure found buried at the bottom of a discount bin in the local hardware store. Shapeless blue plastic chairs lined the walls, welded together to form a huge immovable lump. Metal jutted out from plastic every few inches. Rory supposed they were meant to be armrests.
A lone television hung from the far wall, tuned into some plotless, angst-filled soap opera. A few people were scattered across the waiting area. A small child crying over a skinned elbow to his mother, an elderly couple silently reading Time and Newsweek. A large table sat in the middle, a huge brown monster littered with colorful magazines to pass the time. Two vending machines adorned the same wall as the television, humming a high-pitched melody that sounded like fingernails on a blackboard to Rory's ears.
The nurse cleared her throat, breaking the machines' melodic silence. They were standing in front of the counter, both Tristan and Glenda, as her nametag revealed, looking at her.
Glenda. What the hell? What kind of name is Glenda? Rory thought about the Wizard of Oz, and she giggled. One Halloween she and Lorelai had gone trick-or-treating as Dorothy and Toto. Rory had been too young to protest at the time, and she got stuck with the fuzzy dog ears and red patent leather leash and collar. That picture was a favorite, sitting right by the monkey lamp in the Gilmore family room.
Rory squeezed her eyes shut and imagined Lorelai standing right in front of her, holding a cup of coffee and rambling about something Michel and Sookie had done at the Inn that day. She smiled. Yes, she wasn't standing in the middle of a hospital, her whole body shaking with fear. She was at home, curled up on the couch with her mother, laughing about nothing in particular. Lorelai was fine. Rory hadn't run away when she needed her most, it was all some horrible nightmare in which Tristan was actually a decent person and all her worst fears were coming true.
"Are you Rory Gilmore?"
Rory scowled, inwardly cursing at the nurse for bringing her back to reality. "Yes." she said, her voice sounding more like a timid mouse than the angry, frightened girl she was.
Glenda peered over her glasses, not trying to hide the pity in her eyes. "Please follow me." She turned and walked down the long hallway connecting the waiting room from the rest of the hospital.
Tristan tightened his grip on her trembling hand. Leaning closer, he whispered into her ear. "You've made it this far. Don't turn back now."
Rory forced her legs to move, letting Tristan gently guide her down the hallway. Glenda abruptly turned around, eyeing Tristan. "You can't come with her."
She looked down at their hands, holding each other for support. Rory's face darkened. "Listen, Glenda. I know you're just doing your job and following some stupid hospital rule, but if you knew what hell I had been through today, and what this guy has done for me…" The anger left her voice, leaving her standing there with a pleading look. "You have to let him come. For my sake. For my mom's sake. Please."
The nurse gave Tristan a once-over, wondering how exactly this prep-school pinup boy had wound up in Stars Hollow. And with Rory Gilmore nonetheless. Sighing loudly, she spun on her heel and continued down the hallway.
As they followed Glenda, Rory whispered to Tristan. "Do you want to know the real reason why I ran?"
"I don't know, do I?"
Rory gulped. "Well, first… I've felt his… detachment all day. As soon as Dad told me about Mom, I just had this horrible feeling."
"How so?"
"Tristan, I… I think she's gone."
"God, Rory. Don't think that. You don't even know how severe it was, don't jump to conclusions like that."
"I don't know exactly what happened, but I do know how I feel. And I feel as if half my heart had been ripped out of my chest."
They fell into step with each other. Tristan didn't know what he could say.
"I lied."
Tristan looked up at the ceiling. "What?"
"I lied. That's not why I ran."
Glenda paused at another nurses' station, quickly saying something to the plump woman sitting at the desk. She pulled out a file, searching through its contents, then looking sadly at the trio. She motioned with the cream colored folder towards the end of another hallway. Glenda nodded.
Rory bit her lip. "Maybe that's partly why. But there's something else. Something that scares me. Almost as much as losing my mother."
He watched the fluorescent lights reflecting on the harsh tile, not wanting to see Rory cry again.
They approached the end of the hall, a semicircle of hard blue upholstered chairs coming into view. They sat in front of the window, bathed in a warm yet melancholy light. Christopher, Emily and Richard Gilmore, Sookie, and Luke sat, heads down, some praying, others dabbing at their faces with a tissue in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. They hadn't noticed them approaching yet.
Rory spoke quickly, frightened at what she was about to say. "I ran because my first thought was of you. My father said there was an accident, and the first person I thought of was you, Tristan." She choked back a sob. "It scared me to death. I felt so lonely and so empty. In my heart, in my head I saw you die."
Tristan's heart shattered into a million pieces, mixing with Rory's tears. Her family and friends would notice them soon. Glenda was nearly there.
"Then he told me it was my mom. She was the one who was in the hospital. And I wanted to die. You've never given me any reason to love you, let alone like you. Yet here I was putting you before my own mother in my heart."
He wanted to speak but didn't, knowing Rory needed to get this out before facing her fear.
"But do you know what I've realized, Tristan? It may be true that you've never given me any reason to, but the truth still remains. I'm falling in love with you." She leaned up and brushed her lips across his cheek just as Christopher noticed her.
"Rory."
Tristan stood there dumbfounded as Rory took one last look at him, turning and timidly walking towards either a mended heart or the end of the world.
