AU- Okay, I know I promised this last chapter but... okay I got sidetracked!
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Chapter Thirteen: In Which our Resident Poltergeist has a Bad Experience with a Wall
Theme music: X-files theme song
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A crash resounded throughout the Castle Beyond the Goblin City, it was quickly followed by the sound of a womans voice cursing vilely... in three different languages no less.
Jareth looked up from his never-ending pile of paperwork that kept the Underground running smoothly. Beside him, seated at a desk only slightly smaller than Jareths, was Malcolm, who was dealing with his own pile of paperwork. The mortal man winced as he recognized Beas voice.
"Looks like darling Beatrice has forgotten she cant move through walls again." Jareth commented as he returned his attention to his work.
Malcolm winced again. "Poor dear." He murmured as he followed Jareths example... although he found it more difficult to ignore the fact that Bea had just slammed herself into a stone wall then the Goblin King did.
"Shell be fine." Jareth commented absently. "Even though she acquired a physical body in the transition between Above and Underground shes still much less susceptible to physical damage than your average human. I expect the only thing damaged was her pride."
Malcolm shrugged helplessly. "Id still like to go check on her... if thats all right with you, your Majesty?"
Jareth nodded. "Of course, of course. I managed all this..." he gestured broadly at the man-height stacks of paper that littered his study. " for centuries before you arrived and decided I needed a secretary in the worlds worst way. I can manage it for another half an hour. Go on, see to your Lady Fairs dignity... and try to see that she doesnt throw anymore goblins around this time?"
Malcolm nodded once and fled Jareths study with the Goblin Kings chuckle chasing at his heels.
Jareth gestured the door shut as his Aide disappeared down the hallways. "Hes almost as hopeless with Bea as I am with Sarah." Jareth mused.
Although, for the life of him, Jareth couldnt understand what Malcolm saw in that overly proud, temperamental, stubborn, annoying little ghost of woman... he winced as another proud, temperamental, and stubborn womans face leapt to mind... all right, so maybe he could commiserate with the younger man. It wasnt as it he, himself, had any clue as to why he was so head-over heels for Sarah either.
At another gesture of his hand most of the documents in the room vanished except for a few gilt edged pieces that were marked as Vital. Jareth smiled to himself as he picked up those last few.
When the myriad townspeople of the Underground found that the Majority of their petty complaints (he stole my cow, he slept with my wife) went ignored theyd finally start going to the Magistrates hed assigned to the villages. Danaas name, thats what hed put them there for!
The gilt edged letters were from the Magistrates themselves, or the Village Headmaster when the Magistrate died. These documents entailed things that a Magistrate couldnt deal with (Dragons, Rogue Fae, Sasquatch sightings) if short, things that Jareth was there to handle.
Dragon in the Mystik Mountains...
Beguilers in the Bog...
Ah! A note on Sarahs progress!
He noted, with a smile, that she was doing quite well. She was almost to Thornesbury where she would meet up with Rosebud, the Seeress/Prostitute. This missive was from Rosebud herself, stating briefly that Sarah was now within her Scrying range and was perfectly safe.
So far not one of his spies had found Hide nor Hair of Cain... that bothered him. It wasnt like Cain to be so cautious as to wait for a window of opportunity. Perhaps he had finally learned discretion in the Labyrinth, Jareth mused... but it was unlikely.
Experience did much for an individual, but Jareth wasnt willing to bet Sarahs life on it.
Another, earlier, missive was yet again from Rosebud. It must have arrived a few days before the first... while Malcolm had still been refusing to let Jareth dump the dross of his red-tape in the bog of eternal stench. It told him that she could find no trace of Cain in the Weald, but since he had obviously been there, there was only one answer. Hed had help from the Sorcery Guild.
Jareth set down the papers in a neat stack and leaned back in his comfortable chair to ponder his options. Sarah was under as thoughrough protection as she could possibly be. After Jareth dearly departed Mother, Gawain was the strongest Druid in the Underground. Most certainly the presence of the young Dark Elf would serve as an early warning system for the Druid... drow were notoriously sensitive to Sorcery. As long as she kept on the move or gave up so he could barricade her into his castle she was as safe as she was going to get.
"Shell never give up." Jareth said quietly to himself. "its just not in her nature."
Ah well.
Jareth shrugged nonchalantly to himself and summoned a scrying crystal.
Maybe a spot of eavesdropping would cheer him up?
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Bea scowled at the unrepentant wall as if it had purposefully placed itself there so she would walk into it. The goblins, who had been in the room when shed teleported herself in were huddled in one corner.
As Jareth had predicted, she was unharmed, had in fact felt little to no pain. It was just so damned frustrating to be corporeal again!
There were definite bennies, chief among them being that she could enjoy good food again, also being able to pick things up again was a plus, her sense of smell was far more acute than it had been, seeing was much easier now that she had eyes, and the ability to -sleep- had done wonders for her people-skills.
The only downsides to the whole deal was that she had to be much more conscious of where she was and where she was going... or she had incidents with doors and walls like the one that just happened.
That and she was stuck in the Freak of Natures castle while Sarah was out in the middle of nowhere with a psycho chasing after her.
Bea scowled and was on the verge of calling up one of the psychic storms that Poltergeists are so well known for when Malcolm burst into the room. This had roughly the same effect on Beas temper that a bucket of water has on a match.
"Are you all right?" he panted.
Bea was glad that her emotions were no longer on display in her aura, which disappeared now that she was (sort of) flesh and blood... blushes were so much easier to conceal. "Im fine!" she said nonchalantly. "Nevah-bettah!"
Malcolm exhaled slowly. "Oh good." He sighed in relief. "You had me worried, you know that? I swear, you must have shaken every wall-sconce in the castle."
Bea shrugged it off. "I said I was fine, doncha listen?" she snorted. "I was looking for May-berry."
Malcolm blinked at the mention of his younger sisters name. "Shes down in the Kitchen trying to reclaim it from the Goblins."
Bea nodded. "Right-o!"
Malcolm made to say something... but Bea blinked out just as the sounds began to emerge from his recalcitrant throat.... he stared at the empty room for a long while, until the Goblins started snickering at his expense.
Malcolm shot a glare at the filthy little creatures that promised divine retribution should they decide to spread stories about this little incident before turning on his heel and making back for King Jareths study where , hopefully, his attention was appreciated.
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Jareth shook his head disparagingly at Malcolms fruitless encounter with Beatrice. The boy just didnt know how to get a girls attention.... then again, Bea was hardly helping by fleeing him every time they were alone.
Talk about fear of commitment!
Jareth snorted again and banished the crystal. He was hardly one to talk, hed been courting Sarah for nearly seven years and look how Far hed gotten!
His fingers crept up to the place where her lips had brushed his cheek in a chaste, sisterly kiss. The flesh still burned days later from the contact. It made his spine chill to think about what it would be like when Sarah finally capitulated to him.
An evil grin spread across his face.
There was a mortal belief.... Karma, he believed. It was a belief that should one do good deeds in ones life then good things would happen to them in return.
Maybe it was time that a certain Goblin King started currying some favor in his direction, and what better way to do that than to give two certain mortals he knew a gentle push, or shove if necessary, in the proper direction?
Oh the possibilities!
***
Malcolm pushed the door to Jareths study open... and if Jareth hadnt been lounging at his desk right where hed left him then he might have thought hed gotten the wrong room!
"Uh... what happened to all the papers?" he asked hesitantly.
"I tossed them into the Bog of Eternal Stench." Jareth said casually... although something in his tone promised that Malcolm might follow them if he made a fuss about working their way through them the way he had when hed first stumbled across the gargantuan pile of paperwork that piled up from day to day.
The Goblin King turned to Malcolm with a benevolent smile... that displayed his strong white teeth to an unsettling degree. "Why dont you go down to the kitchen and get something to eat?" he suggested conversationally. "I dont think youve eaten today and, if I recall, humans require an absurd amount of food and rest to maintain peak efficiency."
Malcolm smiled weakly and was about to protest when he noticed the hard glint to the Monarchs mismatched eyes. "Uh... sure!" he stammered lamely. "Ill just go do that right now!"... and fled the room.
Jareth summoned another crystal and spoke a liquid spell over it, one that would ensure that Bea couldnt simply blink out the next time Malcolm got into sight. Now the boy had his chance to woo his Lady Love. Jareth applauded his own ingenuity.
***
"... and put that load over there behind the pantry."
Bea nodded absently and gestured the large stack of flour sacks floating in midair to the area May-berry had designated.
"Good." The heavy-set African woman applauded. "Youre so much more useful than any of the waiters at my old restaurant!" she praised Bea. "It would have taken five of them to move all that."
Bea shrugged the compliment off, her skills had come with a heavy price. Being hit by a car was not an easy way to go, even if it had been traumatic enough to rouse the latent telekinetic talents that had slept within her and followed her into death.
She didnt say anything though, shed tried when shed gotten similar compliments from May-berry and the rest of Malcolms family... who, for some strange reason Jareth had dragged along when shed summoned him to take her into the Underground when Sarahs distress signal had pierced the barrier of the Worlds, sending Bea into a fury such as she had never known... and wouldnt know again if she had her say in matters.
May-berry grinned happily and clapped Bea on her shoulder. It was to her benefit that she didnt flinch when Beas flesh gave under the assault in a way bone and muscle shouldnt.
"Im going to start supper." May-berry decided out loud. "Why dont you just run along so I can get to work?"
Bea nodded firmly... shed already witnessed May-berrys mother hawk attitude towards the Kitchen. The goblin chef whod formerly been running the place was still in bandages. May-berry had some pretty stern rules involving her kitchen; 1. No men were allowing inside at any stage of the cooking process, whatsoever (not even Jareth) 2. No one else was allowed in either, only she was nicer about it to the girls. 3. Obey rule one or die.
The kitchen was no place for amateurs anyway, Bea rationalized to herself, as she mounted the servants stairs to the upper levels. "Ill just go spread the word." She called down to May-berry who chirped something up-beat and affirmative.
As Bea disappeared up the stairs, the main door to the kitchen from the rest of the castle opened to admit Malcolm... who took one look at the carrots his older sister was chopping and fled in the other direction.
Hed face the Bog over his sister any day!
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The delicate muscles beneath Jareths left eye jumped in the chronic stress twitch he developed when he was Not Amused.
So they wanted to play rough, did they?
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end Chapter 13
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AU- now Jareths getting into the matchmaker act! Whatever shall we do?
