Hi! School is finally out! Yay! But finals were a killer, so make me feel better and give me a good review!!!

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, they're so mine...didn't see that coming did ya? Kidding, they're not mine.

Joey shifted his weight outside of the door waiting for his old friend to answer. Instead the door opened to reveal a ten year old boy. He had sandy brown hair and the bluest eyes Joey had ever seen.

"Hey, Tom," he said to the boy. Tom peered at Joey. My godson doesn't even recognize me, Joey thought to himself. "I'm Joey."

"Dad's friend," Tom said simply. He remembered at least, and let Joey inside the house. A girl around seven came bounding through.

"Hi Lily," Joey said to her. She spun her head around to face him. She had less tact than her brother and put her hands on her hips.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"Tom?" He heard Monica's voice ring through the house. "Whose there?"

"It's Joey," Tom answered. Monica came into the hallway and smiled and threw herself on Joey who spun her around.

"Lil? Tom, you remember Joey, right?" Lily shook her head and Monica sighed at her daughter.

"Hi Lily," Joey approached the little girl and held out a box in his hand. She looked at her mother who nodded and took the box out of his hands.

"Thanks," she replied as she tore off the lid to reveal a locket with her name engraved on the front. "Mommy, can you put it on me?" Monica nodded and put it around her neck.

"I have one for Gracie, too," he told Monica.

"Let me get her," she answered and called the five year old to her. Gracie looked exactly like her mother. The same piercing blue eyes and dimpled smile. Gracie was less enthusiastic than her older sister had been when given the gift, but she still thanked Joey and let her mother put the locket with Grace engraved on it around her small neck. Then her and Lily ran off and just the two adults and Tom were left in the hallway.

"Hey, Tom," Monica started.

"I got it Mom, I'll go find something else to do," he interrupted and walked out the front door.

"Wear your coat!" Monica called to the retreating back.

"Yeah, yeah," they both heard.

"They've grown up so much," Joey remarked.

"Yeah, that happens," Monica replied. "Come into the living room and sit down." She led him into the impeccably decorated living room and sat him down on the couch.

"How are you Monica?" He asked.

"Some days are better than others," she admitted. "It's been over a year, I think that I should have gotten over it by now." She smiled a slight smile. "Gracie was only four, Tom was nine, and Lily was six." The tears came swiftly and quickly and rolled down her cheeks. "He doesn't know that Gracie dances with Lily now, or that Tom made the All-Star baseball team. He doesn't know that Lily is playing the violin and doing great, or that Gracie wants to take karate and Tom is bugging me for a drum set." Joey moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "He missed so much." Joey rocked her back and forth hoping to get her to calm down. The tears came pouring down her face, though, and she finally stopped when Gracie walked into the room and wondered why her mother was crying. She climbed onto her lap and had her mother hold her. It frightened her, as it did her brother and sister, when their mother cried. She was usually so strong, since it was just her.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Gracie asked Joey, who looked at Monica and then nodded to Gracie.

"Sure," he answered and she smiled and skipped out of the room.

"Come on," Monica said standing up. "We'll go make dinner." She wiped her eyes and went into the kitchen and was followed by Joey who wondered how the perfect family had been broken so swiftly and completely. They had been the Bings, and everyone had been jealous of them. Chandler had been successful and loving, and Monica had been the perfect wife and husband, and their kids, two girls and a boy, well, they were wonderful, darling children. When had it happened? When had it changed for them? For everyone? At what point had they fallen apart? Joey and Phoebe had stepped in and stopped Monica from completely breaking and told her over and over that she had to be strong for her children. They were small and didn't understand what was happening. No one did, how were a four-year-old, six-year-old, and a nine-year-old supposed to grasp that concept when Joey himself had trouble understanding? When the only questions that could be asked were why? Why? It pounded into Monica's head. Why? Why? It took all that she had to remember to breath.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

As long as she continued to breathe, well, things certainly didn't get better but they didn't make her legs go weak with questions that she couldn't even begin to answer.

"So," Joey said as he cut up the tomatoes for the salad. "Tom made the all-star team?" Monica beamed with pride, as she did whenever any of her children had done something spectacular.

"Yes he did," she said and continued to share the details with Joey.

"He's a good athlete then?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Monica answered.

"He must get that from you," Joey laughed. "Cause Chandler...." He stopped and she fought the tears that came anytime his name was mentioned.

"It's okay Joe, he's still their father, you can say his name," she lied. It was true, though, he was still their father and his name would undoubtedly be mentioned. Monica knew this, but it still was hard to hear his name and know that he was not there with her. It wasn't fair, she didn't quite think.

"I'm sorry though, Monica." What a statement. That was all she heard from everyone now-a-days. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She didn't want them to be sorry, they were supposed to be jealous of her. Not sorry! Damn it. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. It wasn't supposed to be easy either, it never had been, but they were happy. They had been happy, hadn't they? She had never questioned her life. And in an instant, a moment, one single night, it was ripped away from her as if it had never been.

"Don't be," she assured him. "I'm glad that you're here."

"So am I."

"Ross and Rachel are coming," she reminded him. He had remembered, even though he now lived on the other side of the country. Ross and Rachel, though still not married, just dating after two kids and eleven years, lived in the city with their daughter Emma and their son Tyler. Monica and Chandler had automatically moved to the suburbs when she had had Tom. Chandler had gotten a promotion and could afford a nice house, and Monica had been thrilled to pick a house and decorate it. She missed the purple apartment and wished sometimes that she was still there with her friends and Chandler. Chandler. In and out, she reminded herself. Breathe in and out.

"Oh good, Pheebs?"

"Her and David are bringing the kids," she nodded. Phoebe had two girls, Willow and Harmony. She turned to put the chicken in the oven and then and took Joey's hands in hers. "I'm glad that you could make it." He was overwhelmed by emotion and managed a nod and took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"Me too," he whispered into her ear. What had happened to his strong friend? In many ways she was so much stronger than she had been, but in others she was so much weaker than he remembered her as. That's what a year does to you, I guess, he thought and he finally let her go and she held onto the counter for support and got out glasses for dinner and set the table. Ordinary tasks kept her from losing her mind, she guessed. She now loved the ordinary tasks that she used to moan about. In and out, she thought to herself. Just in and out.

The next night they were all out to dinner. They had each gotten a babysitter and left their kids at home. Monica looked around the table at all her friends. All her friends that had rushed to her side after Chandler was gone. All her friends that she adored and had so many great memories, but she didn't want to be there with them. After a year they still gave her those, "poor Monica" looks that she hated.

"You doing okay Mon?" Joey asked softly. "You look sort of out of it."

"Oh, no, I'm fine." She gave a slight chuckle. "Fine." She looked at her watch. She had another twenty minutes before she could leave without looking rude. She had hardly eaten anything, just sort of picked at her plate. Joey was still stuffing his face. Some things never change, she thought to herself. She continued to pick at her plate and then made her excuse and left the restaurant. She was getting into her car when Joey came up to her.

"Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Positive," she assured him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're sweet Joey. Maybe in a different lifetime you and I would have gotten together." That startled him. Then she laughed to herself. "In this lifetime, though, there's no one but him." She got into her car and drove away and gave a short wave before she left him standing alone in the middle of the parking lot wondering what was going on in her head.

~*Please review. I have the second part already started and you'll find out what happened to Chandler. But only if I get more than.....um....10 reviews! I mean it people, start typing those nice reviews!*~