~*This one is a little different because it's more in Chandler's point of view. And there are flashbacks. The song is by Eva Cassidy. Please review!~*

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song...yeah, I think that's about it.

"You made a decision?" Chandler asked. "So fast?"

"Well, I just had to think about it like this," Monica said. "Did I still love you? Yes. More than anything. What would my life be like with you? Well, a roller coaster ride full of emotions, and fights and tears and laughter. And what would my life be without you?"

"What was the answer?" He held his breath waiting for her to reply.

"Nothing. There was no answer. It was blank Chandler. My life without you was blank."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means that I want you to come home." A smile broke onto his face and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Do you mean that?" He wanted to be sure that she was making the right choice.

"I mean it, Chandler," she assured him. "Please come home to your children. Come home to me." He let out a yell, which surprised her. "That was a good yell, right?"

"Absolutely!" He told her and closed his eyes. "When?"

"What?"

"When? When do you want me to come home?"

"Whenever you want," she whispered. "Just come home."

"Okay," he said. "I'll be home soon." He hung up the phone and sat back and smiled. How long had he waited to utter those words. He'd be home soon. He'd be home soon. Oh God, how he missed her. His kids, of course, he missed them terribly. But Monica. He couldn't find the right words to grasp how much he had missed her. The thing with Kristi. The one night stand had been a mistake. Everything he had done without her had been a mistake. He couldn't wait to hold her again. He couldn't wait to hug his kids again. Throw the ball with Tom. Have a tea party with Gracie and Lily. Did Lily still have tea parties? He would find out. He went over to a box that he kept in the closet and pulled it out. He set it down on the table and began to leaf through it's contents. He pulled out a photograph of Monica out in the snow with Tom. Tom was only two years old in the picture. Both of their cheeks were red from the cold and they were making a snowman. Or attempting to make a snowman. He smiled remembering that day.

Eight years before:

"Chandler! Put the camera down and come help us," Monica ordered. She squealed when Tom threw snow at her. "Who taught him that?"

"Don't look at me!" Chandler said laughing as he threw a fist full of snow at her.

"Oh, so the camera is just a shield? Are you scared of me?"

"No! I'm scared at the massive snowball you'll throw at me." She shrugged.

"I wasn't going to throw anything," she lied.

"I see the snowball behind your back," he said.

"Oh, you do, do you?" She giggled and tossed the snow to him. He caught in one hand and whipped it back at her. She grabbed Tom and held him up as a shield.

"That's cheating!" Chandler accused her.

"Hey, I just wanted to hug my baby boy," Monica said and she spun around with Tom in her arms. Chandler took a photograph of her looking at Tom and Tom was laughing. After they had made a snowman...or what could pass for a snowman, they went inside and made hot chocolate. They sat down in front of the fire and Monica leaned back against Chandler and Tom had his head in his mother's lap. They stayed there until after Tom had fallen asleep and well into the night Monica and Chandler stayed up talking. She eventually drifted off as well and he was content watching the fire dance off their sleeping faces and listening to their steady breathing. She stirred and glanced up at him and smiled.

"Should we try to get up and go to bed?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No," he said. "Let's just stay here."

"Okay," she said softly. "We'll just stay here." He traced a line over her face and she stopped his traveling hand and kissed it before closing her eyes again and slipping into sleep again.

Midnights in winter

a glowing fire

lights up your face in orange and gold

I see your sweet smile

shine through the darkness

it's line is etched in my memory

so I'd know by heart

Chandler placed the pictures of her and Tom in the snow and picked up the next pile of photographs. The one on top signified the event, in this case it was the baptism of Lily. He was holding her and smiling at the camera. His first baby girl. His little girl, his princess. He had been so excited when they found out that they were going to have a girl. It was amazing holding the little girl in his arms for the first time and knowing, although he would die for Tom too, that he would do anything in his power to protect her. Not just her life, but her innocence, her purity. His little girl. He sighed. He failed her too. He failed to protect her. But he would change all that now. He was going back and he would never leave them again. Chandler rubbed his temples and knew that he should start packing. He put the pictures back in the box, but didn't put the box back on the shelf, instead he left it sitting on the table and went into his bedroom and pulled out a box and threw his clothes from the closet into it. He sat down on the bed and took a moment before clearing out his dresser. There was a knock on the door that caught his attention and he left the messy room to answer it. He was shocked to find Monica on the other side of it.

"Hi," she said softly. "The kids are with Ross and Rachel."

"Oh. What are you doing here?"

"I just thought...well, when you get back, the kids are going to want to...I mean...I just thought that we could spend some us time before I threw you to the wolves." Chandler smiled at her nervousness and took her into his arms. He kissed her. A deep, long kiss that he had waited a year to do. She stumbled backwards, breathless before he swept her into his arms and took her into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," he said again. He didn't think he could say enough times for her to realize that he meant it. He gently set her down on the bed and kissed her again and fumbled with the buttons of her shirt before she laughed and helped him out.

"Maybe Ross and Rachel could keep them tonight?" Monica managed to gasp out.

"That's a good idea," Chandler said. "Call." He thrust the phone in her direction and she dialed and asked if they could stay the night.

"Sure," Rachel replied knowing that Monica and Chandler needed this time together.

"Thanks Rach," Monica told her and hung up the phone. "The kids are taken care of for tonight."

She woke up in a place that she was sure that she would never be again. In his arms. They were wrapped tightly around her and she smiled and rolled over to face him and woke him up by kissing his lips.

"Morning," she said. He grinned without opening his eyes.

"Good morning," he repeated and leaned over and kissed her back. "I don't think I've ever gotten a good morning this good before."

"Oh, I think that you have," she said laughing wrapping the sheet around her body and sliding out of his reach. "I'm going to go get dressed."

"Okay," he said. "I'll make breakfast."

"You learned how to make breakfast?"

"It was either that or spend a fortune on take-out in the morning." At this she threw her head back and laughed and it turned to crying as she sank to the floor and all her emotions spilled out.

"What's the matter?" Chandler ran to her horrified. "Are you okay?"

"I just...I missed you so much," she replied softly and he gathered her, sheet and all, into his arms and rocked her back and forth. "But you left me. Chandler." She wanted him back. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before. And she realized that they couldn't. They couldn't just jump into this without taking some time. At least if it wasn't for them, for their kids. Especially Tom who had never forgiven his father for not taking him with him. He was allowed to leave, how many times Tom had wanted to run from his sisters or his mother, but his father had left him. Chandler nodded and lifted her chin in his hands.

"Why don't we take a walk and talk?"

"That sounds perfect," she smiled at him. They both dressed and hand in hand walked through the streets talking about everything that had happened in the past year. Chandler talked about what had happened and how he had finally snapped and took his things and was gone. Monica told him about the kids until she looked at her watch and realized it was no longer morning. Chandler led her back to his apartment and she jumped into her car and sped off to collect her kids and then would be back for him later. He had packing left to do.

Mornings in April

sharing our secrets

we'd walk until the morning was gone

we were like children

laughing for hours

the joy you gave me lives on and on

cause I know you by heart

Chandler was left alone again in his apartment and resumed packing. Memories were flooding his mind. But these ones weren't good ones. These weren't snow days or baptisms. These were while he was alone.

Nine months before:

Chandler got back from the store and set the bag on the counter. It was August and it was hot in his apartment. The air conditioner was on the fritz again, although he called and complained several times to the super. He started putting the groceries away and pulled out the cheese he had bought. It was the kind Lily liked, the kind in single sheets. Monica always bought that kind for her. Chandler rubbed his temples and placed them on the shelf. It seemed like he had left forever ago. He put the milk in the fridge and closed the door and decided to call it a night. He turned on the fan in his bedroom and let the air circulate around the room. A voice called out from the streets. It sounded so familiar that he jumped up and ran to the window to peer out at the street below. He saw where the voice was coming from and it wasn't a petit brunette, it was a tall blonde. He sighed and went back to bed. He rolled over and hugged a pillow to himself. He had to remind himself that he had brought this upon himself. He had left her, not the other way around. Anything that he felt was a product of his actions. He hated these nights. Nights were the worst, knowing she was out there and he wasn't with her.

Autumn came around, and he remembered how much she loved autumn. She told him once that she thought it was the most romantic time of the year.

"All those leaves," she said once and closed her eyes and smiled at him. "They look so pretty. The bright colors everywhere. It's just gorgeous." He was walking home one night when he bumped into someone. He hadn't been paying attention and he snapped his head up to apologize profusely.

"I'm sorry..." It was her. She looked just the same. Oh God, was she beautiful.

"Monica?"

"Chandler?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I think I can ask you the same thing."

"I live here," he said softly.

"Oh." She was shivering and rubbed her hands over her arms.

"Are you cold? Why don't you come up to my apartment and get warm?" He suggested.

"No thanks," she said. "I have to go relieve the babysitter."

"Oh, how are the kids?"

"They're okay. They're good."

"I'm sorry."

"I see....well, I really don't care, so I'm gonna go," she turned to leave and was almost a block away when she turned back around. He bit his lip waiting for her to run back to him. Wrap her slender arms around his neck and allow him to kiss her like he had wanted to for almost nine months. "Chandler?" She called. He turned back around.

"What?"

"Was it worth it? Do you regret leaving?" Oh, how could he explain to her how much that he did. He gave a short nod of his head. But then, she would think that she had done something wrong. He remembered his plan, to have her mad at him. Not have her think that she might have done something wrong at all. He did the only thing he could think of. He lied.

"Some nights." She turned on her heels angry with him and stormed away. He watched her go and then buried his head in his hands and continued back to his apartment. He took the long way and stopped under a tree and looked up into it's maze of colorful branches. A sigh escaped from his lips as he closed his eyes.

I still hear your voice

on warm summer nights

whispering like the wind

you left in Autumn

the leaves were turning

I walked down of orange and gold

Chandler taped the last box and set it in the living room. Joey was still in town and was coming over with Monica to help him move. The knock on the door signified that they were there and he answered. Monica smiled at him. Her smile lit up her face and she threw her arms around him.

"I've waited a year for this," she said grinning.

"Me too," he said and held her tightly against him and took a deep breath and was rewarded with the sweet smell of her. The perfume mixed with Dove soap and the shampoo she used. After they broke apart, Joey took his friend and hugged him.

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses," he teased and Chandler and Monica both laughed. Their laughter mixed together and they knew that this was right. This was the way it was supposed to be. It was so simple. The answer to all his problems was her and he was finally doing the right thing. He was finally fixing everything he had done wrong.

He was going home.

I saw your sweet smile

I heard your laughter

your still here beside me everyday

cause I know you by heart

cause I know you by heart

~* I don't know whether or not to end it there. I think I'm going to write more about him going home, but review and tell me what you think! Thanks!~*