Author's Notes: Another thank you to all my reviewers... New versions of the chapters, with most of those annoying little typos correct... writing at 2 am does wonders for one's creativity, but does hinder ones typing skills...

~Jetso, the Red Red Sky Tail





Four: Where it Hovers a little

Daniel, who had spent all her life trying to avoid death and melodrama, was stunned at the Prince's blatant use of both. He still looked wildly handsome in the library chair, half-clothed and with a sharp, silver pin poised above the arteries in his left wrist.

"You're supposed to ask me why and wring all the painful details out of me."

"Why?" Her mind analysed the possibilities of this being some insanely complex assassination attempt. Supervillains seem to believe that the more complex the plan, the likelier they were to succeed, though strangely enough, it was the straightforward, single-step (eg: chop his head off) ones that work the best. She kept her distance, an eye on the entrance, an eye on the prince and her hand just above the secret sword compartment.

"Sound concerned. I really am going to kill myself."

"Why?"

"More concern, less confusion."

"Why?"

"Try again. Try to sound soothing and calming, but a little panicky and shocked, yet still subtly casual and in control."

"Why?" Curiosity was overcoming Daniel's caution, despite being overly aware of how curiosity very gruesomely killed the cat.

"Almost there... try it a little softer and less demanding. Remember, if you excite me, I might kill myself," he said, sounding for all the world like a director.

"Why?"

"I suppose that will have to do," he sighed. "The fairies arrived two years and four months late for my christening party and bestowed upon me the gift of emotional diversity, the blessing of a charming face and two of those incredibly annoying hum-when-you-drink mugs. They claimed it to be a key to my destiny, so when both cups suddenly broke into song, my royal parents named me after it. I became Prince Moon River..."

"That's my pin. They'll assume I killed you."

"Killing myself with a lady's pin is a lot more dramatic than my own sword. They'll think I killed myself for love."

"You love me?" Daniel was caught off guard.

"No, but that's not the point. It's dramatic and romantic."

"Laguria Royal Protocol, chapter 453, subsection 42.4?"

He shrugged. "I skipped that chapter when my nurse dozed off. You do agree it's dramatic and romantic, right? Must be to have a Prince die for you... I have a story planned out. You spurned me, I tried to force myself on you..."

"You sure dramatics or romantics isn't another of your fairy blessings?"

He shook his head, "That's the bribe to compensate for being two years and four months late and to stop my royal parents from suing the company. Duty binds me. 'I was born to privilege and with it comes certain obligations.' That happens to directly translate into marrying a princess in my royal parent's tome... and following tradition to the syllable, of course."

He stood up and struck a dramtically frustrated pose. "Manners. Traditions. Customs. Formalities. Court Etiquette. Ceremonies. Fashions. Codes of conduct." He let out a dramatic groan and dramatically raised his knife. "They dictate what you know or do not know. They tell you how to dress, talk, walk, breath, sleep, wake, eat, think, drink, dance, birth, live..." He saw the pin as though for the first time and hurled it away. "...die."

Then, Prince Moon River crumbled to the ground in pathetic sobs. They were very beautiful and theatrical tears, but when Daniel peered closer, she could tell that they were still very genuine. It took her quite a while to decide to comfort him, but she did. She patted him gently on his back with one hand as he cried beautiful tears all over her leather armour, cooed in what she hoped was a comforting manner and kept her other hand near the secret sword compartment. Prince Moon River seemed comforted, though she sounded suspiciously like a dog growling.

Prince Moon River had, as all romanticising story-tellers do, left out bits of his story. His royal father was also a mathematician, a logician and a physicist. Laguria is one of those odd countries where maths, logic and physics considered manly and royal. It's where the number five was considered royal, where numbers are fashionable and where the multiplication tables were chanted as the national anthem. It's where the Newton's Laws of Motion are on the royal coat of arms as the motto and where parents didn't listen for their baby's first word, but their baby's first number.

Laguria was also the country with a most rigid society. Rules were followed to the very last stroke of a letter and there were very many rules. Prince Moon River wasn't exaggerating in his dramatic fashion when he told Daniel that there were laws dictating how one was to dress, talk, walk, breath, sleep, wake, eat, think, drink, dance, birth, live, die...

Firstly, everyone was very polite. Society dictated that one must not make a public display of one's emotions. Even in private was it not advisable to cry or laugh. Laguria was a country famous for its people's half-smiles and polite cheering. One can go through a lifetime in Laguria saying only the words: "If it pleases you," "Of course," "With gratitude", "Naturally" and "No, thank you."

The royal protocol was strict and centuries of tradition prescribed how one was to live one's life. A single action had volumes of meaning. There were specific ways to enter and exit a room in appropriately (please pick from the lis) happy/upset/angry/fearful manner depending on who is in the room one is exiting or entering. One was to tilt their heads such-and-such-a-number degrees downward and a single degrees more or less meant punishment.

Ingrained deeper into Prince Moon River's character than his blessings of dramatics and moodiness, was a rebelliousness and a need for action and change. There was that part of him (a mutated gene) that despised stagnation and craved action. Cloistered in a tower studying royal protocol (there are a total of fifty-five volumes, each with fifty-five-hundred pages and fifty-five hudred words a page) and other assorted tomes on behavior, physics and logic, made him restive.

Moodiness manifested itself well, but not in the whining manner of some spoilt whelps or violent manner of some. Neither was he a social butterfly or a debauchee. His temper would merely yo-yo from happy to sad to anger to fear to awe faster than the yo-yo champion in Thybia. Naturally, this was most unacceptable in Laguria, while other forms of inconstancy was more satisfactory. His royal grandfather had an official fan-club (full of screaming teenagers) and his royal great grandfather could never keep his mind (or his bed) made for longer than ten minutes, causing havoc in the royal court. Both were still accepted in Lagurian society as respectable men as they kept the emotions controlled and were brilliant mathematicians, logicians and physicists.

Prince Moon River's rebelliousness had made him unconventionally moody, just as it had made him unconventionally beautiful. On close inspection, his beautiful black hair and beautifully black eyes weren't really black at all. Neither was his skin really of a dusky complection. His royal mother was attempting a "tall, dark, dangerous" look. His hair was originally a dark lilac and his eyes a murky sort of mauve. His skin was more of white tinged with beginnings of blue. His body had refused to be commonplace and had opted for these strange colourings for no other reason than to be original.

It didn't take Prince Moon River long to stop blubbering on Daniel's shoulder. He suddenly jerked up and planted a kiss on Daniel's forehead which caused Daniel to perform Defensive Manoeuvre Nr. 395, open the secret compartment and unsheathe the sword hidden inside.

Prince Moon River's temper turned a hundred-and-eighty-degrees from vaguely romantic to astonished sheepishness (or sheepish astonishment). "I didn't mean..."

Daniel eyed him. "You could have meant..."

"But I didn't..."

"I didn't know..."

"You should. I did Romantic Signal Nr. 45... or maybe I did Insulting Hand Gesture Nr.31..."

Daniel didn't lower her sword, but was intrigued. "Repeat it."

"Something like this..." He raised his hand and twisted it into a half-wave.

She repeated his gesture. "What you did before you... ah... kissed me, was the Insulting Hand Gesture Nr. 30. What you did just then is neither. Motion of Respect Nr. 67, variation 3."

"No, it can't be... This is Motion of Respect Nr. 67." He did an almost identical gesticulation, only the very practiced eye could tell the difference.

Daniel shook her head. "No. That's Motion of Respect Nr. 36."

Prince Moon River's mood flared. "I should know. I spent eighteen years with that book. I was born with it in my hands."

"Laguria Etiquette edition 2?"

He calmed into suspicion. "Edition 6, I believe..."

"The royal library's out of date. The one catalogued here is edition 2. There must have been some changes." She folded her arms with a certain smugness.

Suspicion faded into laughter.