by Sparrow AKA HobbitatHeart
Disclaimer: None of the writers on this account are J.K. Rowling...thus, we don't own Harry Potter...or Ron.
Ron Weasley sat arrogantly back in his chair, very nearly falling off (but maintaining balance for the simple reason that his humiliation shall come later in our tale), and boasted at the top of his voice, "Come one, come all, to challenge the fantastic..." He bit his lip thoughtfully, trying to think of a title that would have a nice ring to it after "fantastic." "The fantastic..." Almost out of oxygen, he collapsed into a simple, "...Ron..." displaying how wonderfully inventive his mind was.
If Hermione Granger had any knowledge of abbreviations, she would have commented that her friend was OOC, but, seeing as this was Hermione we're talking about, her thought process went something like what follows: "Gee, Ron's being an idiot, even more than usual. I wonder if someone put a curse on him to magnify his inherent conceit and overconfidence." She paused, realized Ron was always this weird when talking about chess, and proceeded to wander back to the girls' dorm to think about such intellectual pursuits as how to memorize "Hogwarts, A History" backward in time for tomorrow's pop quiz she had magically acquired knowledge of.
"I am the Wonderful Weasley," he continued, mildly improving from his previous attempt, "and I will defeat absolutely anyone who has the nerve to challenge me to a game of chess." Harry, sitting a few feet away on a nearby chair, simply shook his head and sighed. Here he was, trying to think of yet another scheme to defeat the Dark Lord, and Ron was rambling about his chess skills. Harry, not wanting Ron to be too disappointed at his lack of challengers, halfheartedly raised a hand. "Aha! Potter!"
There was a groan coming from somewhere in the room, whether from tiredness (it was, after all, sometime after three in the morning and the various Gryffindors scattered around the room couldn't help but emit sounds of protest) or from mere exasperation. A lot of people thought Ron had gone insane since being rejected by Hermione in fourth year, and was living in constant denial. Since chess was just about the only thing he was good at, he held these "tournaments" about twice a month to bask in his own superiority.
Easily beating Harry in about four minutes, Ron seemed to be satisfied, and began to lean back into his chair triumphantly and nod off to sleep. Suddenly, commanding from the direction of the portrait hole, came a large and powerful voice.
"I SHALL CHALLENGE YOU, WEASLEY!" And into the light stepped the challenger, the chess master, the competitor who would certainly end Ron's reign as king and make him whimper with the intended humiliation.
A little girl. "Hi!" she remarked, waving to the half-awake students. She couldn't have been more than six, but she was astonishingly cute with straight blonde hair and shiny blue eyes that could burn a hole in the sun. She looked sort of like Gabrielle Delacour, except a thousand times more perfect in every way and without a strange sister like Fleur. "I'm Meredith Susanne!" As she was, as I've mentioned, about six, she had not yet developed a good nickname to shorten this lengthy moniker. No one had a clue as to what it could possibly be.
She clambered up into the chair across from Ron's, but gracefully, showing off a row of lovely silver teeth as she smiled. "I hope we both have a lot of fun playing this game, and no hard feelings if you lose, okay?" she squeaked, gazing earnestly into her opponent's eyes. Ron couldn't help but snicker at this tiny child who dared to challenge him, though he didn't pause to ponder why the heck she was at Hogwarts at three in the morning. Her blonde hair turned fire red, and her eyes seethed. "OKAY?!?!" she repeated, fuming at his silence and snicker. He nodded helplessly, and Meredith Susanne morphed back into her normal form.
Thus the game began. It started well (if you consider "well" to be that Ron seemed to be winning), and Meredith Susanne's queen was taken within the first five minutes of the game. She, however, maintained a straight face and her coy childishness, playing recklessly and acting as if she'd never played a game of chess in her life. Which she hadn't, though that was beside the point because Meredith tended to master anything she tried. Suddenly, there were only a few pieces left on the board, most of them Ron's. With a single, deliberate movement, the girl moved a pawn one space and declared, "Checkmate."
Ron gaped at her, his eyes scanning the chessboard to check if this was true. In every direction, his king would be horribly mutilated no matter which way he moved. With a giggle of triumph, Meredith Susanne disapparated (on Hogwarts grounds, mind you), an action Hermione would have protested if she had been in the room.
Horribly astonished and nearly unable to breathe, he leaned back all the way. His chair then toppled over, sending Ron catapulting onto the ground, whereupon he wasn't seriously injured, but had a slight bruise on his head to add to the humiliation already inflicted on him by the author.
And they all lived happily ever after!
...Except Ron.
