Disclaimer: I do not any of the characters from Invader Zim.

Chapter One: Misassignment

The Massive: flagship of the Irken Armada, largest and most powerful ship in the fleet, home of the Almighty Tallest. Tah looked up at the ship docked in rotation in Irk's atmosphere and held her breath as she observed its splendor. The Massive was even more gigantic than she had imagined, and a thousand times more beautiful. She had heard that it was like a city within a ship, containing every convenience an Irken could want. Not that there would be much time to enjoy herself. Only those who have proven to be the hardest and most dedicated workers were allowed on the ship, and those one board were expected to work. As she looked up at the red ship silhouetted by the darkening magenta sky, Tah couldn't help but feel a tingle of excitement run down her spine. Out of rejection, she mused, one could find success.

Tah had applied to become an Invader, and had even graduated from the Invader Academy on Divastis with honors, but it was only a chosen few that were selected for invasion and Tah had not quite made it. However, she had received the great honor of being assigned to work on the Massive. This made her just as happy, if not more so. Although she was a quiet, introverted sort of person, she enjoyed the flurry of people around her and wondered if she could live isolated on a foreign planet. Along with that, best and only true friend worked on the Massive, and being there would mean being able to see him.

She took one breath, picked up her bags, and began to march to the teleporter that would transport her on board. There was a line of new workers and she took her place in the back. There was a noise behind her and she turned around. Being a rather tall Irken, she looked down and saw a pink-eyed woman with an arrogant grin and a laser strapped to her hip. The top of her head only reached Tah's thigh, but this didn't seem to make a difference to the female. "I'm Clay," she announced in a tone that demonstrating who she thought was in charge, "first class Marauder. What are you here for?" She tilted her head and tapped her foot, impatiently waiting for a response.

"Well," said Tah, thinking out her words carefully as was her habit. "I specialized in engineering at the Soldier Academy and in weapons technologies at the Invader Academy, completed an internship on the I.S.C. Nacho where I worked repairing Voots," she smiled as she got to the point, "and was assigned to work here as a researcher. I'll be spending most of my time staring at a monitor."

Clay folded her arms in an effort to look unimpressed at Tah's list of accomplishments. Instead she cocked one eye and said, "You were trained in engineering and weapons technologies, and they're making you a scholar? What sense does that make?" She narrowed her eyes. "Why aren't you a mechanic or something?"

Tah shrugged her shoulders and tried to form an explanation. "They were probably looking at my extra-curricular activities. I've studied ancient Irken extensively and they probably need somebody like that."

"Well isn't that special?" Clay said in a snide voice. She glanced away for a moment and frowned. They both knew that ancient Irken was difficult to master, and knowing it was considered more than admirable. Tah nearly jumped when the marauder sharply turned back to her. "You're rude," she said bluntly. "You haven't told me your name."

"Sorry!" Tah breathed in surprise, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. "My name is Tah." She stepped backwards and waved, now first in line to be transported to the Massive. A red laser beam surrounded her, and her particles were reorganized on a platform on the ship. Tah looked around in surprise, swearing she'd never get used to teleportation, and stepped into a large room full of disoriented workers. She held an electronic pad that had a map of her section of the ship that told her where to go. First she was to drop her things off at her room before reporting for duty. All the new recruits were doing the same, so the barracks hall was crowded and Tah barely managed to navigate her way to her room. She finally stopped before one of a thousand doors that looked the same. Large, silvery letters marked it as room 5839B. She slipped her identification card in the slot and the door hissed open to reveal a fairly modest room, plain but larger than her former quarters. Another Irken was inside, sitting on the bed polishing the bladed end of a spear. Tah's roommate looked up with a half-heartedly hostile expression and looked back down at her work. "Hello." said Tah timidly as she walked into the room.

The female grunted and set her weapon aside. She wore the dark red uniform of a high-level guard and Tah wondered why the computer would assign her to live with this person. The guard's voice was deep and she spoke each word quite deliberately. "You are Tah? My name is Mim. I'm one of Admiral Queue's personal guards, so I won't be around much." She pointed to the bed at the other side of the room. "You will sleep over there."

Tah smiled at her roommate, able to feel her dangerous eyes following her, and set down her bags in silence. "Heh.well, I need to go report in. See you around." She awkwardly walked back out of the room and let the door close behind her. She realized she'd been holding her breath and let out one long stream of air. Shaking her head, she hoped that her scary roommate would be out as much as she had hinted and made her way to her work station.

Her work station was actually a roundish room called the Information Hive. Inside was a circular table around which quiet Irkens bent over their monitors, looking over information and typing reports. All except for the one sitting at the farthest end of the table wore sober uniforms made completely of black. This other one, an older man obviously in charge of the operation, wore a red collar to indicate his rank. He stood up looked her, waving at her to follow him. He led her to an empty work station and turned toward her. His voice was soft and sounded somewhat sleepy. "You're the one they've sent over? Tah?" She nodded. "Good, good. What is your experience? Have you worked with a similar system before?"

Tah gulped. "No, Sir. My training is in engineering and weapons technologies. However, I am fluent in ancient Irken."

The man shook his head. "Another soldier. Well, knowing the language is a plus. My name is Tzen and I facilitate the Hive. Our job is to make comprehensive reports on requested subjects. You know the data Invaders receive on their assigned planets?" Tah nodded. "That comes from us. We also look up data for everybody on the Massive, so we keep pretty busy. We have a direct link to the Massive's library and all but the most confidential records on this craft. You'll have access to those while making your reports. You're uniform will be delivered to your room in the next few hours." He motioned for her to sit in her chair and handed her an electronic pad. "I've got an easy load for your first day. Just look up these things and give me a holler if you need any help." He waddled back over to his own work station and left Tah to figure out how to use the computer. She stared at the screen and then looked down at her pad. The first thing on the list was a request for the translation of an ancient Irken phrase. Tah smiled and looked across the table at her superior, who was already absorbed in his work. He'd apparently tailored her workload to fit her talents. She didn't need help to translate the phrase and sent the information off to the person who'd requested it. The next was a request from one of the chief mechanics, asking some questions about a new model of Voot lasers. She activated her computer and was quickly able to find the information. She smiled to herself when she realized this wasn't going to be too difficult, but then frowned when she looked at the next item: a full report on the social structure on the planet Vort, with emphasis on religious practices.

As she worked, Tah realized that there were two kinds of things she did. There was the little easy information that had to be taken care of right away, such as translations and small tidbits of information, and large and detailed reports that might take days or weeks to finish. The time seemed to speed by as Tah looked up the information and typed her responses, and her shift was over before he knew it. She stood up with her coworkers, who all nodded politely at her, and went out of the room. She stood in the hall for a moment, not wanting to go back to her room and her creepy guard of a roommate. She glanced over her map, which only covered a small portion of the ship. She figured that all other sections were restricted, so it didn't bother her. She let her feet carry her throughout her section of the ship, only with a general idea of where she wanted to go in mind. There were all sorts of people in all sorts of different uniforms, and she pondered on just how many kinds of workers there were on a ship this size.

She found herself stopping at the entrance to the library. She loved books and had always done well in those classes that required a lot of study. She paused as she thought that she really was rather suited to her new job, although she didn't feel she was using the full extent of her talents. She shrugged and stepped inside, allowing herself to marvel at the towering walls covered in electronically stored books. Her neck craned as she tried to imagine just how high the ceiling must go. It was the most spectacular place she'd ever been. The inside was lavishly furnished in cushiony chairs and thick carpeting, giving a stark contrast to the simple metal architecture of the rest of the ship. She paused when she saw a group begin to gather at one of the study areas. She walked over to get a better look and was finally prompted to ask someone there what was going on.

The tiny Irken answered in a hushed voice. "Poetry reading. sit down."

She did as she was told and sat to watch the first performance. She was happy when she realized that the first poem to be recited was one of her favorites, but highly disappointed when she listened. There was no feeling or inflection, and no message conveyed. All that was left in the presentation was a jumble of empty words. She clapped politely as the first volunteer sat down and the question was put up as to who would recite next. To her own surprise she stood up and faced the small crowd, but didn't mind because she really didn't know these people and was sure she'd do better than the last presenter. She loosened her militaristic stance and closed her eyes, choosing a piece. The first thing that came to mind was a ballad in ancient Irken she had learned in one of her classes. She opened her eyes and too a deep breath, mind set on using not only perfect pronunciation, but also perfect inflection to help demonstrate the ballad's meaning. "Uk'shreen La Teth, by Vort," she began. She lifted her head and tried to forget her audience, reflecting rather on the image of the poem and the sound of her voice:

"Uk'shreen la teth me shoo

Per de fere ma deshda koon'de ra.

Me shoo ser dasa meta loo

Ruch'sta facta fere de'ka.



Detha mish la gra sit'ba

Rec de bith ser ma Janith yik'bit,

Huk'ra, huk'ra, huk'ra ser ka.

Uk'shreen la me teth sit."

At this moment Tah rose her voice into a crescendo and lifted one fist slightly, the passion of the words beginning to carry her away. The intense story behind the ballad moved her, and her eyes shut with pleasure.

"Feth me teth! Me teth ze ra,

Va da fere koon'de peredon.

De, de, huk'ra vente bah!

Funthra rec de bith ser lon.



Uk'shreen la teth me fere koon!

Bat la fere bith ser ma dish'ka

Ser me Reshma ke mere shoon.

Yik'bit va me va ser ka!"

With a powerful flourish of her voice Tah ended the poem, happy with her presentation and mightily glad she had taken a class in ancient Irken rhyme. She opened her eyes to the small group of amateur poetry lovers and waited. Most of them held rather blank faces, and Tah suddenly remembered that none of them would probably know the language. She sighed and walked off as she heard the same polite applause the first performer had received. She hurried out of the library, slightly embarrassed and hungry.

Her next stop would be to get something to eat. Her friend's shift would be over soon and they had agreed to meet in the dining hall. She took out her map and followed its directions to her destination. The smell of food worked to increase her appetite and it wasn't long before she was gulping down spoonfuls into her mouth from her heaping plate.

"You're a healthy eater, I see." Tah looked up at a familiar voice and to see Clay smirking at her. The marauder set her tray down and sat across from her. "But then again, you are tall, so you do need a lot of nutrients."

"Tall and still growing," said another voice with pride. This time Tah's attention was completely taken as she swung around and looked down at her depressingly short friend, Dak. She picked him up effortlessly and placed him on the chair beside her. He smiled at her enthusiasm and looked over towards Clay. "Have you already made a friend?"

Clay narrowed her bright pink eyes at the squat newcomer and sneered. "Who's this Shorty? Isn't he a little small to be working on the Massive?"

Tah frowned as she watched her friend glance down at the floor with shyness. He'd always been very sensitive of his height, as anyone would. She glared at Clay menacingly. "What he doesn't have in stature he makes up in talent. and personality."

"Well, pardon me!" said the marauder in mock remorse. "I just wanted to know who the little tyke was."

"His name is Dak and he's a communications officer." Tah crossed her arms in a defensive pose. "He probably outranks you."

Clay gave a sly grin and leaned forward to speak to Dak, who was practically shivering in the shadow of her domineering presence. "Yes, he probably does. Do you have any orders for me, Shorty, or can I continue eating uninterrupted?"

Dak looked around nervously, placing his glance anywhere other than Clay's condescending face. "Just. just leave me alone. I don't want any trouble." He flinched as Clay began to cackle. She began shoveling food into her mouth and washed it all down with her drink. She pointed at Tah.

"You're coming with me to the Entertainment Center after we're done." There was no question in her voice.

Tah faltered, never having been the sort of person inclined to argue, but looked down at her dearest friend and shook her head. "No, Dak and I are spending the off hours together tonight. I haven't seen him since he signed on, and we were hatchlings together. He's my Huk'ra."

Clay paused at the use of the ancient Irken word. Even though most people didn't bother to attempt leaning the language, everybody new a few very important words, and this one she knew. She looked back and forth between Tah and Dak and eventually shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I suppose if I want to hang out with one I'll have to take the other too." Despite her gumption, she was not going to come between 'life-friends'. She glared at Tah, as if her attachment to Dak was somehow her fault. "I don't even know why I've decided to hang out with you!"

Tah didn't either, and she wasn't sure she really wanted to hang out with this overbearing girl. However, it didn't look like she had a choice.