Leaves by the Candle Light

Chapter II

By Hachi Mitsu

April 23, 2002

Hiddencache.com

            It's always been like this, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. He couldn't stop, look away, leave.

            During the summer he dreamt of happy afternoons spent at ice-cream parlors, the three of them without a care in the world. During the autumn the golden leaves fell like dead tears.

 Every Christmas he heard her soft beautiful voice singing, as the clear clinking of glass ornaments pierce through, like laughter of the angels they were carved to resemble. He still smiled as he remembered when the crystal wine glass she was holding fell and shattered when she suddenly realized that the soup had been left to simmer too long and begun to smoke dangerously.

The tinkling of the shards as they trickled onto the marble tabletop added to the music. He could still remember how they shone in the candlelight like a thousand stars compressed into a single surreal memory.

He always cried when he thought of that night, whether from the pure happiness of the memory, or the sad realization that in the end, he was nothing more than that shatter cup.

A thousand pieces left to be stepped on. How long does a moment last?

And then there's spring.

Sumeragi Subaru gazed up into the clear blue sky wondering where, under this vast blue heaven, the person who held the last shard of his broken soul was. Maybe he's gazing up at this same sky.

Subaru walked on through the blizzard of pink and white, flinching away whenever a daring petal of cool silk brushed against his face. An onlooker might have found it curious to see that, despite the how the quiet young man seemed to dislike the beautiful flowers, he was walking calmly between the thickest grooves of sakura trees in Ueno Park.

But, it wasn't the flower that he minded, per say. It was the thought of one particular tree leaching the life out of his sister to color its clusters of tainted flowers.

And of course there's the memories spring brought back. Memories of him...

The onmyouji closed his clouded green eyes against the sting of the sun and retreated to the shadows of a nearby tree, leaning against its cool bark.

// Weaker living beings die first. //

The petals danced with the leaves, causing the shadow cast upon the slim figure to shift like a dream.

/ What is your definition of weakness Seishirou-san? /

Is regret a weakness? Or any emotions? Does waking up every morning, crying over the inevitable past, mean that one is weak?

/ For so long I've lived under the shadow of your tree. Every night I dream of it, taking away my freedom, taking away my innocence, taking away my sister, taking away my soul. In the end, the only thing I have left, the only one I have left to rely on is you. Ironic isn't it? /

Subaru stood there like white shadow against the dark trunk of the tree as his long white coat fluttered in the wind, beating like the soft wings of a dove, caught in the grasp of its captor.

// Subaru! Sei-chan! I'll be eating all the oden if you don't come soon! //

Opening his eyes, bitter tears fell silently as he gaze off into the distance; half seeing the world that laid before him, half seeing the world that used to. For a brief moment he could almost see a single dark figure through his tears and the rain of sakura. It was a presence so familiar that he almost called out a name.

But then the figure disappeared as if it were never there in the first place. Just a memory clung to for too long.

/ Seishirou-san. /

Why? Why can't he let go?

// Humans can't live without happiness //

With unseeing eyes, he watched two petals drifting in the wind, one light, one dark. As they chased each other the one that looked as if it were spun from pure snow suddenly plunged towards the ground. But the little red petal, as if sensing the absence of the other half of its soul, quickly chased after it.

/ Seishirou-san... all I wanted was, all I ever wanted was for you to... /

Subaru closed his eyes, not caring to see which petal drifted to the ground first. In the end, it didn't matter. It never did because in the end, the result would always be the same.

// Seishirou-san, I love you. //

All dreams end eventually, given time to die and fade from the tired mind that hosts it.

// Therefore today... I'll let you go. //

---

End of Chapter II

Note: short and brief, just like to assure you that chapter 3 will be a lot longer than these two chapters _

Quotes take from Tokyo Babylon Volumes [ Annex Secret ], [ TYO Destiny ] and [ End ] and Subaru's drama cd T_T.  Hehe, I don't know which quote I love best, the last one, or the next to the last one.

Once again feedback is much appreciated and would make me write faster ^_^