Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or any of the characters. Cowboy Bebop copyright 1998 Emotion, Sunrise Inc., and Bandai Visual Co. limited
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A/N: I wrote this because I feel that Edward is portrayed much too often as a two-dimensional character and is often ignored when it comes to fanfic. Please review. I really want to know what everybody thinks of this.
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The world slowly passes me by as I keep up my incessant strides. Maybe someday I'll make it somewhere. Not that anybody would really notice I had gone in the first place. Maybe people would care where I was going. Maybe they wouldn't give a crap. There was really no way for me to tell except to go there and find out. I was already betting that they wouldn't give a crap about me or anything that I said or did. Not unless it was a negative reaction. People were always acting as if I either didn't exist or just didn't matter one bit to them. I guess I didn't matter to them…any of them. If I had mattered, I don't think they would have left without trying to find me. The only one of them that cares is Ein, which is almost sad, because Ein is just a dog. No, I mustn't be sad. If I let myself be sad, then I will show it outside and everybody will know the truth. The truth? Well, the truth is that I'm not at all happy. I just act that way to try and make everybody else at ease. It's hard enough for them to deal with their own pain and sorrow let alone mine. I wasn't going to do that to them. Even if they didn't care about me, I cared about them. They were the only family that I knew. The only family that actually remembered my gender that is.
Thinking of that brings me to my father. Any man can be a father, but it takes a great man to be a dad. My father just wasn't that man. He tried and he loved me, that was for sure, but he didn't ever really care for me. I know that sounds weird, but it was true. He loved me a lot…or rather he loves me a lot when he remembers that I exist. He knows that he has a child. He even thinks he remembers my name, but he keeps thinking that I'm a guy. I think that he wishes he had a son. That's really not hard to surmise from his constantly thinking I'm his son, and then not really noticing when he's corrected. Yeah, he loves me…he just doesn't care enough about me to take care of me. He doesn't even care enough to take me with him when he leaves. I will give him credit though, he did offer.
I keep walking along with my long gait, wondering if Ein is starting to get tired. If he was I'm sure that he would let me know. Ein has always been the best friend I've ever had, even if he can't talk to me. He's always at least been there, though he has for everybody, I think that he cares more for me than the others. He did show me that he cared a lot for me when he decided to come with me instead of leaving with the others. I'm really not sure what I would do without him. Fall into a deep depression I suppose is the most likely answer. Oh well. He's here with me, and that's what really matters.
I've been walking for days. I really don't even remember how long it's been. Maybe I should just give up. I might be able to hail the Bebop if I tried; though getting a connection to them was unlikely. I wasn't even sure that I could find them anymore. Well, that was a lie. I knew exactly where they are. I'm just afraid that they won't want me back. What if they like not having me around to be loud and bother them? What if they didn't even like me in the first place? They probably didn't, but at least they tolerated me. It wasn't love, but it was something.
A tear slides down my face as I stop and look at the sky. Something's wrong. Something has gone wrong with the Bebop and it will never be fixed again. I wonder what it is and how I know there's something wrong, but I just can't seem to figure it out. I can just tell that something has happened and the Bebop will never be the same. Something is lost. Lost forever and ever. I feel the tears slide down my face and know that I should see what's going on. I know that I should go to them. If not for them, for myself. I need to know what happened. I could easily find it on the Internet, but I think that this is something that I need to hear from them.
I look down at Ein and see that he too is sad. He whimpers at me with his ears back to show his sorrow, then he looks up to the sky to tell me it's the Bebop. I already know that, but it is nice of him to let me know that he does. "I know, Ein. Something's wrong. Maybe we should go back to them…" I let the thought linger in the air and watch Ein for his reaction. For a moment he does nothing, thinking about whether or not we should go, then he yips and points his nose up at the stars. I had my answer. I was going home.
