Everything was gone.  Blackness was all that I saw.  Where was everybody?  Were my eyes even open?  I tried to open then, finding that even if they weren't already open I still only saw blackness when I opened them.  Where was I?  Questions filled my head, but I knew I had to keep my cool.  That's who I was, the cool, calm guy.  I was the one who didn't get worked up over everything like everyone else.  It was rare when I lost my cool, and now was one of those times.  I was beginning to panic.  I had no idea where I was.  I had no idea why I couldn't see anything.  Was it dark or had I gone blind?  I realized that I couldn't feel my arms or legs.  I couldn't feel any part of my body.  What was going on?

            Suddenly, it all came back to me.  I remembered the showdown with Vicious.  I remembered the way that it had taken all of my strength to get down those few stairs and away from his body.  I couldn't stand to be that close to him when I died.  When I died?  I'd died?  Was it a dream?  Did I fall asleep and dream this?  No.  I knew that it wasn't.  I knew that it was true.  I was dead.  It took me a moment to grasp the idea, but it wasn't as horrible as I had thought it would be.  I was dead.  At least I didn't have to starve half the time.

            It was sad though.  I knew that I would never again see the Bebop.  I knew that I would never again see any of the Bebop's crew.  I felt a stab of pain as I realized that I never said a proper goodbye to them.  I wish that I had.  I wish that I had been more open with them, but it's much too late now.  The only consolation I could find when I thought of them was that they weren't with me.  I was glad they were alive.  I was glad that they would have a chance to make something better from their lives.  I knew they had it in them.  I don't know how, but I knew that they would be all right.

            I wonder how they took my death.  I wonder if Ed even knew about it.  Ed was a good girl…a little bit weird, but she meant well.  I wondered if she had found her father and wished that she did.  They were all good, though.  No matter how annoyed I may have gotten with Faye, she was just a girl trying to find herself.  I knew that.  I knew that she didn't mean to be as cruel as she sometimes was.  I also knew that I should have listened to Jet more.  He wasn't as strict as I liked to act.  He was just a man trying to make it in the world and not have to deal with the corruption.  I think of them, I think of them all, and suddenly I see them before my eyes.  It's as though my vision has been divided into three different parts, and in each part is one of them.

            I saw Jet, sitting alone in the living room.  He was covered in grease, probably from working on the engine.  He didn't look happy.  It was pretty safe to assume that yet another thing had broken down and he just couldn't fix it.  A part of me smiled, remembering listening to him complain about the "damned ship".  Another part of me felt kind of bad for him, hoping that he would figure something out.

            I changed to focus to Ed.  I saw her in a dingy little restaurant.  She was in the same clothes as always, if not a little more dirty.  At her feet was Ein, who was waiting for her to pass him a few table scraps.  Somehow, Ed seemed older.  She hadn't been gone that long, and she hadn't changed physically, but something in her eyes told me that she was older.  Was that always there?  Had I just missed it?  I didn't know, but I knew that she still held a small spark of hope somewhere in her.  I prayed that that hope was enough to get her through life.

            Changing focus again, I saw Faye.  She looked as beautiful as ever.  I had never told her how pretty she was.  I hoped that she knew it.  She was sitting alone in her room.  I could tell that she wasn't happy either.  She had been crying.  I wondered briefly if it was over me.  I had made her cry.  At least I know that I'll be remembered, I thought, with a vague sense of dry humor.  I wasn't happy with myself for making her cry.  I wish that I could take those tears back from her, but I know that I can't.  It was too late.  I had to do that.  If I didn't finish things, I would never have been at ease with my past or myself.

            Thinking of that, the image of Faye fades.  I become aware of how much better I feel now that I have actually closed that chapter of my life.  Of course, I wasn't sure if the price was worth it, but I'm glad that I did it anyway.  It was just too bad that it had cost the others so much.  Well, I at least knew that I would watch over them while I still could.  Until I figured out where the hell I was and how to get out of there, I would watch them and pray for them.  I just hope that they don't need it.