It's 1 a.m. and I'm high on caffeine! Therefore I write romance! Invader Zim and all it's related characters and logos belong, in fact, to Viacom. I do not like Viacom, but I can do nothing about it. Weep with me! Or not.

Fida: Warnings: Slash and high levels of OOCness. Volunteers are needed to help hide the soda. I'd also like for someone to lend me a straitjacket.

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It's a known fact that SIRs can't really feel emotion. Any emotion they feel is muted. Only when the current mission is threatened do they feel undampened emotions. Even then, their only goal is to insure the success of the mission and hate and desire and fear crush any other emotions. The only exception is Gir, who can't decide what it feels and is driven insane by that fact.

Anyone who loved it would have to be insane. And if anyone ever discovered that someone loved Gir anyway there would be no end to the shame.

A fiery-eyed Irken knew this too well. Every moment since the piece of junk had first been activated and declared "I don't know" he'd reminded himself of that. Every time he woke up from dreams that, to it put simply, were just plain wrong. When he roamed the coves of machinery that, unlike Gir, showed no spark of emotion. No life at all. Even when he was snacking he'd find himself wondering if Gir would like the treats. So far, reminding himself of that had only made him more depressed and made the mask he wore around others harder to maintain.

At his request he'd been left alone, at least for a short while. Gir was insane, a SIR, and even if something could ever happen between them: duty would get in the way. And besides, what would everyone else think if he was…in love…with a robot? He'd be regarded with disgust, ridiculed, pushed from his spot of greatness where another would take his place.

So why couldn't he just forget about the damn thing? It shouldn't have been so hard! Even if he saw it so often, performing stunts and saying things that made it hurt not to laugh. It hurt so much to keep himself from slipping in front of the monitor and ruining everything. The bright cyan eyes, the voice, what kissing him might be like…

He needed help, badly. No one should feel this way for a SIR, especially Gir, out of all of them. He had to tell someone or he would do…something…not nice. But there was no one to talk to. No one that wouldn't ridicule him. Even if he could somehow tell the pile of garbage itself it wouldn't understand, just stare at him with those beautiful electric eyes and probably say something about a clown.

"There's no escape for me, is there?" he wondered aloud. He needed to get his mind off that, that SIR!

"Yeah, that's all he is. A SIR. Stop thinking things like that about him!" he commanded himself. He needed a distraction. Hurriedly, he pushed a button, activating a map of the charted universe and tried to lose his mind by locating the planets where the Invaders would be working to expand the Irken Empire. But his eyes were continually drawn to a blank spot on the map; a spot where an insignificant planet named Earth would be about then. Where Gir was…

"I must be crazy…" Tallest Red muttered, and shut off the screen.