****
Autumn, 2001
The more he thought about it, the worse it got. Frank had locked himself inside his own home with the lights off and the phone disconnected. To see Alex held as she was in that prison during the riot got to him. Not because it was one of his team members, but because she looked so damned much like Mandy. If you permed Alex's hair, she'd have been a dead ringer for Mandy. When he'd first met Alex, he had to look twice just to make sure. But the tell was those golden brown eyes that Alex didn't have. Alex's were slate blue, Mandy's were whiskey colored.
'I remember all my life
raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
a face through a window cryin' in the night,'
When did he start to shake again? He hadn't shaken this bad since his furlough and subsequent vacation to St. Croix earlier this year. The first time she'd hugged him, he'd stopped shaking... But, seeing Alex like that reminded him of why he left Mandy, urged her to forget about him. If it had been him... He didn't finish the thought.
'the night goes into
Morning just another day;
happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes,
I see a memory I never realized how happy you made me.'
Slowly Frank sat down on the sofa and leaned his head down until he touched his knees. This was a part of him that he couldn't let his team see. They were still trying to accept him, still pushing and defining his limits, how far he'd let them go before reining them in. It simply would not be good to let them see how badly he was truly affected by the prison riot.
'Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!'
He needed her. Every time his team went undercover, he admitted it to himself. Each time they'd had trouble, he forced that little light, that little sliver of Mandy's soul that she had given him back into the darkness and his machine-mode came out to get the job done. Little did they all know that when he got home and into the sanctity of silence, he let it all go. More than once he'd broken down in tears in this very room at the thought of just how much he needed her to put her arms around him and shush his fears away.
'I'm standing on the edge of time;
I've walked away when love was mine.
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,
the tears are in my mind and nothin' in rhyming.'
More than once he'd felt like the world's biggest fool for letting her go. More than once he'd wanted to fly to New York, track her down and beg on his knees for her forgiveness for what he'd done. But in the end he'd always come to the realization that it was truly for the best that he'd left her. She had a brilliant flame of stardome and who was he to interfere with that life now?
'Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!'
His dark eyes caught the magazine on the coffee table. Her photo was on the cover. Those whiskey brown eyes were looking directly into his soul. But even through a photograph he could see something more than that. Something he'd put there. She was famous, the toast of Broadway. Mandy had gotten her dream, the one she'd told him about. Since he'd left her in St. Croix, he'd followed the Broadway rags for mention of her name and what play or musical she was appearing in. She had the voice of an angel... and fitting that voice, she was cast as Christine in Phantom Of The Opera shortly after their return to their lives. Since then she'd been touring non-stop and the critics were in love with his Starlet.
'Yesterday's a dream
I face the morning
Crying on a breeze
The pain is calling
Oh Mandy'
His heart lurched in his chest. New York. What he would have given at the time to have been there with her on that horrible day. It wasn't until afterwards that he discovered she had been touring in Europe with the cast and company, far away from the horrific events of that September morning. But, by the same concern, he wondered what she'd thought about him, knowing he worked for the Justice Department. She knew he was FBI... but not his exact job description. Had she thought of him at all since he left her?
'Well, you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today Oh, Mandy'
It was going to be difficult to face Alex in the morning. Every time Alex got into a squeeze, he had to force himself to stop and let her do her job. She wasn't Mandy, ony a physical resemblance and that was all. Alex must feel awkward each time he looked at her. The first time she'd said something was to Monica, talking about how Frank kept looking at her like she was someone else. Little did they know that Frank was around the corner. That's when he decided that no matter what, he would force himself to separate Alex from his memory of Mandy. It wouldn't do any good for him to confuse the two when one had nothing to do regarding the other.
'you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you'
Frank stood and looked out of the window. It had started to rain in the time since he'd gotten home and now. He leaned his head against the window sash and sighed...
"I miss you Starlet."
****
- Song title "Mandy" by Barry Manilow
(( Yeah yeah... I know.. corny, but it fits damn it!! ~L~ ))
Autumn, 2001
The more he thought about it, the worse it got. Frank had locked himself inside his own home with the lights off and the phone disconnected. To see Alex held as she was in that prison during the riot got to him. Not because it was one of his team members, but because she looked so damned much like Mandy. If you permed Alex's hair, she'd have been a dead ringer for Mandy. When he'd first met Alex, he had to look twice just to make sure. But the tell was those golden brown eyes that Alex didn't have. Alex's were slate blue, Mandy's were whiskey colored.
'I remember all my life
raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
a face through a window cryin' in the night,'
When did he start to shake again? He hadn't shaken this bad since his furlough and subsequent vacation to St. Croix earlier this year. The first time she'd hugged him, he'd stopped shaking... But, seeing Alex like that reminded him of why he left Mandy, urged her to forget about him. If it had been him... He didn't finish the thought.
'the night goes into
Morning just another day;
happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes,
I see a memory I never realized how happy you made me.'
Slowly Frank sat down on the sofa and leaned his head down until he touched his knees. This was a part of him that he couldn't let his team see. They were still trying to accept him, still pushing and defining his limits, how far he'd let them go before reining them in. It simply would not be good to let them see how badly he was truly affected by the prison riot.
'Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!'
He needed her. Every time his team went undercover, he admitted it to himself. Each time they'd had trouble, he forced that little light, that little sliver of Mandy's soul that she had given him back into the darkness and his machine-mode came out to get the job done. Little did they all know that when he got home and into the sanctity of silence, he let it all go. More than once he'd broken down in tears in this very room at the thought of just how much he needed her to put her arms around him and shush his fears away.
'I'm standing on the edge of time;
I've walked away when love was mine.
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,
the tears are in my mind and nothin' in rhyming.'
More than once he'd felt like the world's biggest fool for letting her go. More than once he'd wanted to fly to New York, track her down and beg on his knees for her forgiveness for what he'd done. But in the end he'd always come to the realization that it was truly for the best that he'd left her. She had a brilliant flame of stardome and who was he to interfere with that life now?
'Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!'
His dark eyes caught the magazine on the coffee table. Her photo was on the cover. Those whiskey brown eyes were looking directly into his soul. But even through a photograph he could see something more than that. Something he'd put there. She was famous, the toast of Broadway. Mandy had gotten her dream, the one she'd told him about. Since he'd left her in St. Croix, he'd followed the Broadway rags for mention of her name and what play or musical she was appearing in. She had the voice of an angel... and fitting that voice, she was cast as Christine in Phantom Of The Opera shortly after their return to their lives. Since then she'd been touring non-stop and the critics were in love with his Starlet.
'Yesterday's a dream
I face the morning
Crying on a breeze
The pain is calling
Oh Mandy'
His heart lurched in his chest. New York. What he would have given at the time to have been there with her on that horrible day. It wasn't until afterwards that he discovered she had been touring in Europe with the cast and company, far away from the horrific events of that September morning. But, by the same concern, he wondered what she'd thought about him, knowing he worked for the Justice Department. She knew he was FBI... but not his exact job description. Had she thought of him at all since he left her?
'Well, you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today Oh, Mandy'
It was going to be difficult to face Alex in the morning. Every time Alex got into a squeeze, he had to force himself to stop and let her do her job. She wasn't Mandy, ony a physical resemblance and that was all. Alex must feel awkward each time he looked at her. The first time she'd said something was to Monica, talking about how Frank kept looking at her like she was someone else. Little did they know that Frank was around the corner. That's when he decided that no matter what, he would force himself to separate Alex from his memory of Mandy. It wouldn't do any good for him to confuse the two when one had nothing to do regarding the other.
'you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you'
Frank stood and looked out of the window. It had started to rain in the time since he'd gotten home and now. He leaned his head against the window sash and sighed...
"I miss you Starlet."
****
- Song title "Mandy" by Barry Manilow
(( Yeah yeah... I know.. corny, but it fits damn it!! ~L~ ))
