Author: Nayru Ikari, now better known as Yuzu-chan.
Title: Beautiful
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Misao/Aoshi
Rating: G
Finished: 21/07/2002
Disclaimer: The concept Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nubohiro Watsuki, Jump Comics and another horde of japanese companies + one american dubbing company that will go unnamed. I would rather not this be posted anywhere without my permission. Don't steal. I bite.
Nayru's Rants: It's short, but I like it. ^^
~Beautiful I: Child~
You're strong.
That's the impression you give me, strength. You've got a strong will, mind and love for your ninja that I never thought could be possible after the death of Hannya, Beshimi, Hyotoko and Shikijo. I thought you were broken. But you proved me wrong.
I don't think you ever have been broken. In any way. Okon and Omasu argue with me, saying that I have already broken you. Or that I will. Eventually.
I don't believe that. You didn't even care when I told you I loved you. You told me to grow up and out of this love I had developed as a child for you.
Don't you see, Aoshi-sama? It's not a child's love. My love for you runs deeper than that. It's in my very soul, directing my every action. But you don't see. You never have and you never will. You love me like a sister, like a daughter even, but not the way I want you to love me. And I've finally accepted that.
I finally grew up. And even though I know you will never love me that way, there will always be a small piece of my heart that belongs to you. I don't think I'll ever kill that feeling completely.
And I don't think you can either.
Not even if you try killing me. My heart will always belong to you. And you still see me as a child. I think that's why you feel nothing. Because I'm still the little sixyear old you left in the care of Jiya, when you went out to...
Look at me, I can't even think it. Because I couldn't believe you would stoop so low as to become a fighter for hire. You disgraced the Oniwabanshuu name and you hurt Jiya. But I still loved you.
That love will never change, even though I do.
I guess I'll always be your child and I'll be happy with that, because it means I can be close to you in a way. But I just hoped you'd at least accept the fact that I love you, even though the feelings aren't mutual. There's nothing I can do about that.
So, I'll be your child, Aoshi-sama.
~Beautiful II: Adult~
You're weak.
Or at least that's what I used to think. Because love is weak. But I've come to realize that your love runs strong, like a deep ocean and it's more powerful than the use of a sword. It can break down a man and make him devoted completely to one person.
And I don't want that. Because you'll be hurt. By me. That's why I've never even dared think about you in any other way as a child.
But, it's me that is weak.
Excactly because I can't get myself into telling you I love you. Because I don't have the courage. And I guess I never will.
I want something more, Misao. More than this slightly awkward behavior around eachother, more than friendship. But I can't bring myself into telling you that. Because I don't want you getting hurt.
You'd probably tell me you'd be alright. That I shouldn't worry. I'm sorry, I can't do that. I love you.
Pathetic, isn't it?
I used to see you as just a child. A sister I took care of, trained. But you're not a child anymore. You're an adult. Eighteen years old and grown up. Fit for marriage, as Okina might say.
He wants us to marry, you know that right? But he hasn't said anything. I wish he would. I'd tell him yes in a minute. I just need an excuse to make you see my feelings. I can't take the initiative on my own.
Therefore, I'm weak.
So, I wish you would break me. You could do it easily. Just say those three little words and I'd be yours to have and hold.
Please, Misao. Break me.
~Fin
A/N: Feedback would be much appreciated. ^^
