Author's Notes: These are NOT real, and I created them all just two seconds ago. There is an added character, Zachary the idotic idiot... my creation (and brother), don't steal.
Title: Final Fantasy 7... Rambles?
Author: Seifer
Rating: PG-5... alright, 13

Cloud: *in the dress from wall market* Wazap??
Tifa: Oh, I was just killing Aeris.
Aeris: !!!
Sephiroth: Yeah! Stupid ancient! *turns around* ZACK, idiotic idiot!!!
Zack (ii): WUT?!
Tifa: Let's kill Zack the idiotic idiot... is he an ancient?
Aeris: Where's MY Zack?
Sephiroth: Zack the idiotic idiot is your BOYFRIEND??? O.o
Aeris: NO!!!! Not him!!!!! He's a jackass! I love the Zack that looks like CLOUD.
Sephiroth: Oh, him. I saw him eating his own shit so I killed him.
Aeris: What?! *cries*
Tifa: *SMACK* Shut up.
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Scarlet: *slaps Tifa*
Aeris: *slaps Scarlet*
Tifa: *slaps Aeris*
Sephiroth: *kills all three of them*
Cloud: Why'd you do that? Let's mosey.
Cid: SIT DOWN AND DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA OR I'LL SPEAR YOU TO A TREE!!!
Cloud: I didn't know you were a poet!
Cid: *spears Cloud to a tree*
Cloud: Wha...
Cid: You're wearing a dress you faggot!!!
RedXIII: You know what? I'm a redneck.
Sephiroth: O.o You are?
RedXIII: Yeah. My neck is red.
Cid: Mah, I thought you were gay.
Barret: *walks in with Marlene*
Vincent: SHOOTING PRACTICE! *shoots, and kills Marlene*
Marlene: Owie, you meanie!
Barret: WHY YOU!!!! I'm gonna! ... kill Zack the idiotic idiot!
Zack (ii): Wha?!
Rufus: I just pissed myself.
Zack (ii): Here have one of my diapers.
Barret: *shoots at Zack (ii), causing him to do a tapdance*
Rufus: You don't understand! My pants! They have a big splotch!!!
Sephiroth: You should wear black.
Zack (ii): Black is for dykes.
Sephiroth: I like girls.
Zack (ii): That's why you just killed three of them?
Rufus: NO! SCARLET! NOW WHO AM I GONNA RAPE?!?!?!?!?!
Sephiroth: Shaddap.
Ultimate Weapon: *comes in and obliterates Rufus, then flies away*
Sephiroth: Even the planet doesn't like Rufus' whining.
Zack (ii): Ooh, a fountain! *starts drinking*
Cid: You IDIOT! That's a mako fountain!!!! You're drinking materia!!! *spears him to a tree next to Cloud*
Cloud: Howdy, buddy!
Zack (ii): Howdy!
RedXIII: Are THEY rednecks?
Barret: *shoots both of them* SHUT UP!
Zack (ii): I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!
Cloud: I'm going to die. *dies*
Aeris: *comes back to life* NO! I LOVED THE RETARDED FREAK!!!
Zack (ii): Really? Wow! I'm loved!
Aeris: Not you, Cloud!
Barret: You're supposed to be dead too!
Aeris: Oh yeah! *dies again*
Zack (ii): *finally dies*
Worm: Hello everybody! *swallows RedXIII*
Vincent: That wasn't nice.
Chocobo: *eats worm*
Vincent: *jumps on Chocobo*
Chocobo: *walks into the lifestream*
Vincent: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *dies*
Barret: Why do I get this feeling I know how this is going to end?
Cait Sith: *parachutes down, and then runs towards Barret*
Barret: NO! NO!
Cait Sith: *jumps on Barret, smothering him*
Barret: *muffled cries, then dies*
Cait Sith: I'm 'Tickle Me Cait Sith'!
Cid: *tickles him*
Cait Sith: I love you!
Cid: GOD!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!! *spears Cait Sith until his voicebox is dead* HEY! NOBODY'S DRINKING MY GODDAMN TEA YET!!!!!! Shera! Make the tea NOW!
Shera: *cowers*
Sephiroth: *drinks the tea and dies*
Cid: WTF?!?!
Shera: Wasn't me!
Cid: *gets angry, then drinks the tea and dies*
Shera: Whew! That was close! NOW I CAN RULE THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!

The End
(Cuz we just all love happy endings!)