Not really a continuation of After All. Just a little companion piece. Duo's last letter to his best friend. Sap & friendship. All feedback welcome (Thanks, Ms. Maxwell-Yuy!)...
Feb. 8, 279AC
Dear Heero,
Well, Buddy, it's beginning to look like we won't see each other again, this side of the bar. That's Tennyson's, by the way, not Murphy's.
I hate this goodbye shit. But I know it's time to go. I'm ready. This sorry old carcass has made a few too many laps around the cosmic race track. This morning the doctor waited until Hilde went out to get the car and told me that I probably won't be here this time next week. He's a sweet kid, reminds me of Quatre. Poor little sap had tears in his eyes. So I gave him a hug and thanked him for all he's done and told him to get the hell back in his office before Hil came back and saw him in that state.
He tried to talk me into a transplant, but I decided to go out with the original equipment. It wouldn't be right to deny some kid a chance to see 20 when I've been knocking around for damn near a century, now would it?
There's another reason, too. You're the only one who ever knows this. Tell Hilde and I swear by your ratty old spandex shorts I'll find a way to come back and haunt you.
Truth is, I'm a coward. I am the weakest, sorriest son of a bitch (sorry, Mom) on the planet, but I've never lied to you and it's way too late to get into the habit now. I don't want to be the last man standing. I don't have the nerve to face burying Hilde. Or you. Or Wu Fei, either, though God knows he'll probably be hiding out on that mountain top of his for another hundred years. I love him, but, man, that is one spooky old dude. Stands to reason. He was a spooky young dude, too.
Did I ever tell you what he did when the Ozzies had us locked up on the moon base, right before we blasted out of there? You knew they cut off our air, right. And I was laying there, flat on my back, looking at the pictures Trowa smuggled in to us, and just trying like hell to pull in one breath after another. So all of a sudden I realized I hadn't heard anything out of Wu Fei for a few minutes. Swear to God, that crazy mother had put himself into some kind of trance. He was breathing like once or twice a minute, and he wasn't even sweating. So there I was, panting like a dog and feeling like someone stuck a vacuum hose down my throat, and he was meditating.
Whoops, drifting off the subject there, wasn't I? Anyway, I know I don't have to tell you this, but being me, I will anyway. Hilde's the strongest person I've ever known. She'll get through this. You're going to make sure of it. Take care of her, man. And let her take care of you. It'll be good for both of you.
The kids will be okay. Jerry and Margaret are celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. Whoever would have thought those two would last six months, huh? He still gets embarrassed if anyone talks about his grand entrance into the world. Your obstetrical debut. Harass him a little, okay? He needs to loosen up.
James Robert has received word that he'll have his own parish. This one kind of chokes me up: it's St. Jude's on L2. Maxwell Church is going to have a Father Maxwell again. I can't think of anyone better for the job. And he'll have built in guardian angels.
Helen's the only one I really worry about. She's just so damn... Helen. There's so much anger in her. I pray she'll find her way. I have faith that she will. She just makes things so hard on herself. Be there for her when she needs someone to scream at, okay? She's going to be heartily pissed that I've had the audacity to get old and die.
It's your fault, you know. If you hadn't barfed all over your training and broken me out of that cell on C1102, I wouldn't have had the chance to get old. I wouldn't have been on the colony to meet Hilde. And I wouldn't have gotten to see you save the world. Twice.
You know, I don't remember ever saying thank you for any of that, and since this is probably the last chance I'll get in this lifetime, let me say it. Thanks, Heero. Really, and truly, and no bullshit, whatsoever. Thank you.
Seems like there ought to be a lot more to say, but I'm getting really tired and I want to get this in the system before Hilde comes back from town. So I guess that's it. Even a man of many words runs out eventually. I wish you were here, dammit. That way I could embarrass you with one last bear hug. Thanks for being my best friend. I love you, man. I really do.
See you later (alligator),
Duo
