SCENE FOUR: **Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall are walking to confront Harry and Ron, who are sitting in Snape's office.**


Our Harry (Sung to the tune of 'Maria')


(Snape)
He had a spree and struck a tree

And Muggles saw his car

He waltzes into Hogwarts late

And thinks he's quite the star

He's used to fame and glory

Just because he has that scar

I'm getting quite fed up with all this hogwash



(Snape)
He thinks he's quite the hero

(McGonagall)
Well, his bravery is real

(Snape)
He's always courting danger

(McGonagall)
Yes, it shows he has some zeal


(Snape)
I'm afraid I have to say it:

Albus, I firmly feel

That Potter should be thrown right out of Hogwarts



(McGonagall)
I'd like to say a word in his defense

Dumbledore: Yes, Minerva?


(McGonagall, struggling to fine something good to say)
He's really

Not so

Dense


(Snape snickers while McGonagall purses her lips in frustration)

(Dumbledore)


How do you solve a problem like our Harry?

(McGonagall)
How can you catch a blodger or a snitch?

(Dumbledore)
How do you find a way to deal with Harry?

(Snape)
A month of detention with loss of house points?

(McGonagall)
You Wish!

(Dumbledore)
Many a spell you know you'd like to teach him

There's many a curse he might not want to hear


(McGonagall)
But how do you make him stay?

Keep "You-know-who" out of the way


(Dumbledore)
Sooner or later he's bound to reappear

(All three)
Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Harry?


(Dumbledore)
How do you make a Boggart disappear?



(Snape)
When I teach him I get mad

He's unruly and he's bad

And he's always up to something late at night

He goes sneaking round the grounds

Where there's trouble, he'll be found

He's a rotter! He's a devil!



(McGonagall)
He's a sprite!


(Snape)
He can boil a cauldron down

Turn a smile into a frown

I swear he plays around with magic like a toy




(McGonagall)
He is gifted!


(Snape)
He's a git!


(McGonagall)
He is fearless!


(Snape)
Gives me fits!

He's a nuisance!

(McGonagall)
He's our savior!




(Dumbledore)
He's a boy!



(All three)
How do you solve a problem like our Harry?

How can you catch a blodger or a snitch?

How do you find a way to deal with Harry?


(Snape)
A month of detention with loss of house points



(McGonagall)
You Wish!

(All three)
Many a spell you know you'd like to teach him

There's many a curse he might not want to hear

But how do you make him stay

Keep "You-know-who" out of the way

Sooner or later he's bound to reappear

Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Harry?

How do you make a Boggart disappear?