Scene Seven: The first meeting of 'The Dueling Club'.


DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU WANT TO DUEL (Sung to the tune of 'The Lonely Goatherd')

(Lockhart)
Here in the hall we will start our club now

Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?

I thought we'd stir up a little hubbub now

Do you, do you, do you want to duel?



Students from all of the houses are here now

Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?

Professor Snape, let me make it quite clear now

Do you, do you, do you want to duel?




(Students)
Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble

Oh, oh, this is his bad day

Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble

Snape's gonna blast him good today





(Lockhart)
Look how politely I bow and I greet him

Do you, do you, do you, do you want to duel?

(Harry)
Snape looks like he plans to skin and to eat him

I wouldn't want to, wouldn't want to duel



(Gilderoy)
Neither of us will be aiming to kill now

We just want to, we just want to, want to duel


(Ron)
Oh, what shame, that would be a thrill now

Watching Snape disintegrate that fool




(Students)
Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble

Oh, oh, this is his bad day

Oh, oh, Gilderoy's in trouble

Snape's gonna blast him good today





**Snape blasts Gilderoy across the room
Gilderoy gets up shakily and retrieves his wand**



(Snape)
One little charm that you must learn well is

If you, if you, if you, if you want to duel

One little spell called 'Expelliarmus'

If you, if you, if you want to duel





(Lockhart)
Professor Snape, that is quite enough now

Don't you, don't you, don't you, don't you think so too?

Maybe the kids want to strut their stuff now

(Snape)
You just hate to, you just hate to lose




(Slytherins)
Uh, huh, Snapey is the one guy

Uh, huh, you don't want to duel

Uh, huh, I suggest you don't try

That Gilderoy is such a fool!




(Students)
Let's just start blasting spells out of our wands now

We just want to, we just want to, want to duel

Watch as the wands fall right out of our hands now

We just want to, we just want to duel





(Ron)
Draco Malfoy was partnered with Harry

In a little, in a little, little duel

The next thing that happened was quite scary

In their little, in their little duel



(All)
Oh, no, Snapey's helping Malfoy

Oh, oh, they're two evil gits

Oh, dear, with Snapey helping Malfoy

Our hero might be blown to bits






(Hermione)
Snape taught Malfoy how to shoot out a snake now

In their little, in their little, little duel

That ended up being a big mistake now

In their little, in their little duel





(Justin Finch-Fletchley)
Harry was trying to block a spell now

In their little, in their little, little duel

And to the snake he could talk quite well now

And that finished up their little duel






(Students)
Oh, Oh, he's a parselmouth, oh

Oh, oh, he can talk to snakes

Oh, oh, he's a parselmouth, oh

What a difference that makes








(Snape)
I always suspected that he was a freak now

Even though he was more than a little dim

And seeing how well with snakes he can speak now

He just might be "The Heir to Slytherin!"






(Snape)
Oh, no Harry

(Students echoing)
(Oh, no Harry)

(Snape)
Is he the heir-ee?

(Students)
(Is he the heir-ee?)

(Snape)
I wonder if he is

(Students)
(I wonder if he is)

(Snape)
I wonder if he is

(Students)
(I wonder if he is)

(Snape)
I wonder if he is

(Students)
(I wonder if he is)

(Snape)
The heir to Slyther-slyther-slytherin

(All)
WHOA!