Chapter 8

Marcus called his dad and let him know that both him and Bunny intended to stay the night at Essence's to study for the evening. It was a flimsy cover up, but his dad gave his permission with no questions asked.

She slept on through the night, not awakening once. The morning arrived and yet she still did not stir. Bunny sighed. She was starting to doubt herself on not having taken her to a doctor. She watched as Marcus walked over to Essence's closet and pulled out a clean school uniform and tossed it at her. "What is this for?" She questioned.

"Go take a shower real quick and change into that. It is a school day after all. There is no point in both of us missing school. I will stay with her."

Bunny started to protest, but stopped as he walked up and kissed her lightly on the lips. "She's my best friend Bunny. I won't let anything happen to her."

She grumbled in defeat and rested her head on his chest for a moment as he ran his fingers though her short hair. After one more kiss she left him to go get ready for school.

She came out to still find no change in her friend. Marcus decided to give her a ride to school. As he pulled up in a parking spot to drop her off, Mr. Matthews spotted them. "You better hurry or you will be late to class," He remarked to both of them in a clipped tone.

Marcus cursed under his breath as Bunny got out of the car. "Great. Now I have to show up to his class or he will report me as skipping."

"She should be okay if she stays like she is."

"I guess she'll have to be," Marcus replied in irritation as he got of the car and rummaged in the trunk for an extra uniform he kept there in case of emergencies. "I'll leave at lunch and go back to the house, then come back and get you after school. Agreed?"

"Sounds like the best plan under the circumstances."

@~~~~~~

"It's kind of sickening, isn't it?"

Kali turned and glanced over at the man that was speaking to her. She was surprised to find the man her and Endymion had witnessed embracing Serenity to be standing next to her. He was slightly taller than her and was dressed formally as was called by the occasion. Kali opted to still wear her fuku even though she had been invited to wear a dress. The Ball was boring her to death, but the man seemed to have more patience for it than she did.

She looked him briefly in the eyes as he offered her a glass of champagne and she accepted. His ocean eyes were the only part of him that even hinted at how little he wanted to be here. He looked out onto the dance floor where they could both view Endymion and Serenity dancing to the music the royal band played. There was her prince, with his arms wrapped around the princess of the man that stood next to her.

"It feels like just yesterday..." He sighed and dipped his head slightly, dull silver hair hiding his eyes from view. "That nothing in the world could have taken her away from me."

Kali took a sip of her drink. She knew exactly how the young member of the court felt. Fane was much in the same position as she was. Not royalty, but closely involved in it. Sadly, both of their relationships had been revealed, and since the engagement had been announced, neither of them had been allowed alone with their now former loves. Kali was still Endymion's personal bodyguard, but another guard now flanked her, as if she was losing her abilities to protect him. Fane had been an advisor to the Queen and was now not allowed to be around Serenity unless she was present.

Somehow it seemed suiting to be standing next to the handsome man that had loved the beautiful princess now engaged to her own prince. "I feel like we've both been jilted," she responded as she watched Endymion chuckle in the charming way he used to when playing with her. The couple smiled at each other lovingly and Kali felt another part of her sting in bitterness.

"Do you really think it was destiny for them to be together?" Fane asked after he sipped some more of his drink.

"I don't know, honestly," She replied with a shrug. "If they were meant to end up together, I can't help but wonder what that means is supposed to happen to us."

He chuckled in a rough tone, surprisingly smooth to her in a way. "True. Maybe we are meant to be alone for the rest of eternity?" He joked.

Kali shrugged once more. "It could be worse. Maybe we are meant to end up together." Kali laughed out loud as Fane tried to choke on his champagne, managing to catch the attention of both Serenity and Endymion who were standing a few feet away. Quieting down to a low giggle, she tried to pat Fane on the back and ignore Endymion's glare at the same time. She could see the couple advancing over and decided quickly to take Fane out onto a balcony to get some fresh air.

She continued to laugh at him outside as he tried to regain his composure. "Why are we out here?" He asked her in irritation.

"To avoid the wrath of prince Endymion."

He raised an eyebrow at her skeptically. "Did we do something to incur it?"

"We looked like we were having fun, that was enough."

"Ah. The jealous type."

Kali watched as her prince tried to make his way over to her, but was blocked by a court member wanting to make small talk with the happy couple. Shooting one last glance at her, he seemed to forget about her once more. Feeling rejected, she turned her attention back to Fane. The two settled down onto a bench and looked up at the night sky, the Earth in full splendor among the stars. "It's so odd," She muttered, almost as if to herself. "I'm so used to seeing the moon where the Earth is."

"I'm sure it would seem odd to me to see the moon from the Earth," Fane commented. "I guess we get so used to having things certain ways that to see them any other way feels unnatural to us."

"Like seeing Endymion and Serenity together."

"Did you love him?"

Sighing, she looked over at him. "Love? How do you know if you love someone?"

He started to reply, but paused for a moment. "I used to think I knew. But wouldn't I be fighting to keep Serenity if I love her?"

"Maybe you just know the effort would be in vain."

"Maybe we don't get to decide whom we love. Maybe our hearts decide..."

"Maybe it's destiny?" She finished for him.

Fane sighed. "I don't want to believe in destiny. But maybe so. What if we aren't in control of who we get to love? For the kingdom's sake, look at them!" His voice raised in a tide of emotion as he stood and pointed into the ballroom. Kali looked at where his finger led her eyes, to find Endymion and Serenity frozen in a kiss on the dance floor. In only a week they had already forgotten them.

"It is sickening how fast one can fall in and out of love," she whispered, fighting back the tears.

Essence didn't want to see anymore, and yet the dreams continued.

@~~~~~~

Marcus practically bolted into her bedroom as soon as he made it to the house, only to find her still in her unbreakable spell of sleep. He sighed and made his way over to her, sitting down next to her on her bed. Sweat drenched her hair and he could see that her shirt was starting to get wet also. Every fiber in his being cried out to see her like this, and yet... how could he still feel this way when he loved Bunny?

"I wish I could help somehow," He said softly, feeling totally helpless. She laid expressionless, and still he knew somehow that something was wrong. As if she was having a nightmare. He leaned closer and brushed back a fire hued strand of hair back from her face. "What are you dreaming about?" Slipped out in a tender tone from his lips. His hand slid down her cheek and she suddenly flinched, as if burned.

Anticipation, excitement and panic all filled him at once as he called out her name. She opened her eyes and regarded him as if in a daze. "Fane...?" She asked in a weak voice. He didn't say anything as she seemed to study him. "No," She said after a moment. "Marcus. Yet Fane nonetheless."

"How did you know that?" Marcus asked her as she sat up unsteadily. A moment passed as the two regarded each other.

"You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?" He replied, puzzled. "I know that you knew Endymion, but I don't remember you."

She jumped up from the bed and stalked over to her closet, catching him off guard. He watched, unable to protest, as she stripped off her nightclothes and put on a skirt and a t-shirt. "No- wait. You can't go out," He said as he came out of his daze as she put on her boots and grabbed her journal off the floor.

"I'm sorry Marcus, but for once I don't give a damn what you say," She spun on her heel to leave the room when he called out to her.

"Why are you upset at me? Is there something about the past that I should know?"

"You don't remember," she repeated, not bothering to face him. "I'm not going to be the one to tell you." Before another word was spoken, she fled from the room.

@~~~~~~

Mamoru had arrived in Long Beach last night and had rented a hotel room in the town while trying to decide his next move. He didn't know it when he had been buying the ticket, but it was a stroke of luck that the town he had chosen seemed to be soaked in the power he felt. There was definitely something her that had drawn to his spot. Something vital to him.

He made his way out of the hotel to try and find something to eat. A little place was open near were he was staying and he wandered in, hoping to order some lunch. He was amused to find the place was a restaurant/ coffee shop that had an entertainment stage set up to encourage people to express themselves. He asked the waitress about it and she said the often held poetry readings, band sessions and skits there. Sometimes they even had karaoke contests or just open mike day.

Mamoru was impressed to say the least that such a little place could offer so much to the community. He was about to place his order when the waitress saw someone else walk in and turned to greet them.

"Hey Essence," The waitress called out happily to the girl that walked in with a purpose with her stride and sat down at a tiny corner table. She simply nodded at the waitress in return, glanced briefly at Mamoru and opened the book in her hand.

He muttered his order to the waitress and turned once more to look at the girl. Limp red hair hung around her face, looking damp. Elegant black frame glasses perched on a small nose, doing nothing to hide the violet color of her eyes. She was dressed rather plainly in a black shirt and skirt, the outfit seeming to be put together in a rush. She had a pen out and he could tell whatever she was writing about in the book must have been important due to she wrote very quickly. Every once in a while she would pause, the pen either tapping on the corner of her page or being raised to her lips where she would suck on the end. He stared in fascination as the end of the pen disappeared beyond her lips to, no doubt, be twirled by her tongue.

"Can I ask who that girl is?" Mamoru questioned the woman as she brought his food.

"Her name is Essence. She's a regular that comes in a least once a week to sing or read her poetry or stories."

He thanked her and turned to his meal as she left him to eat. He looked up from his food as the girl made her way to the stage. Normally he would not be so intrigued by a stranger, but something was so familiar about her.

@~~~~~~

Essence sat writing in her book, not really noticing her surroundings too much. She knew she would be safe from Bunny and Marcus here, due to this was her secret spot and she had never once mentioned it. Besides, there was too many things going through her head for her to really be focused on the outside. She wrote down her dreams, which she now knew to be her past. After a couple of minutes she paused, flipping over to a clean sheet as she nibbled on her pen for a second. She began writing something that looked like a math formula on the paper.

Bunny=Serenity

Marcus=Fane

Essence=Kali

?=Endymion

Serenity+Fane= 1st love

Endymion+Kali=1st love

Serenity+Endymion=arranged marriage

Kali+Fane=2nd love

Bunny+Marcus=?

Essence+Marcus=?

Bunny+?=?

Essence+?=?

She had the past figured out, but pieces of the present were missing. Like what exactly was going on between Marcus and Bunny. How did she feel about Marcus? And most importantly, who was Endymion now? If the three of them had been reincarnated, surely he had been too. Wasn't he supposed to be Bunny's destiny? Or someone's? It irritated her not to know his name, as if simply by knowing it would lead her right to him. But she thought for a moment of what would she do when she found him. Hi. You were my first love in my past life, but now I am in love with a guy I fell for after you, but he is in love with the girl you hooked up with after me and I was wondering if maybe we were truly meant to be together? She imagined herself saying to him. Laughing softly, she realized how stupid that sounded. How little sense it made. Then again, nothing really made sense. Her heart was aching over Marcus for the love she had for him now and the love she had found in him after Endymion had been wed to Serenity. On the other hand, every memory, every emotion of what it had been like to love Endymion had been awakened in her mind. It was true that Fane had been the one she loved in the end in the past, but had that been destiny? Or had her heart chosen? And if she had chose, could she not choose Endymion in this life?

Sighing, she closed the book and left it on the table and made her way over to the stage. She was a regular at "The Java" and so she didn't have to ask if she could use the stage. There was a couple of people eating lunch and drinking coffee in the small place, including the guy she had seen one of the waitress serving earlier. He looked as if he wasn't a local and he stared at her as if more interested in her than he was in his lunch. His eyes passed over her and for a moment she had a strange deja vu of trying not to blush as if he had done it before. She made her way over to the cd player and dug out a cd that was hers, but she left it here so some of her friends could use it on karaoke nights.

She popped the cd in and it selected a song, readying herself by the mike. Piano music filled the air, with a few other instruments that sounded electronic. She had burned the cd off her computer of different songs she liked, but without the words. As the melody continued to play, she began to sing:

"I still recall the taste of your tears," She didn't look at any of the customers, and yet knew that everyone had paused to listen to her sing. She continued, cradling the mike close to her mouth. "Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears. /My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore./ Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore"

She sung it deeply, letting her misery filter into her voice. She was so confused, so lost. She didn't know anything else at the moment but the pain inside and the words she had drilled into her head. "Come on tell me./ Make this all go away./ You make this all go away./ I'm down to just one thing./ And I'm starting to scare myself./ Make this all go away./ You make this all go way./ I just want something./ I just want something I can never have.

"You always were the one to show me how./ Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now./ This is slowly taking me apart./ Grey would be the color if I had a heart./ I just want something I can never have."

One of her hands snaked into her hair, twisting and giving it a painful tug, more of her sorrow sinking in deeper. She knew that someone out there would find this a beautiful display of emotions, just like everyone else in the room probably thought she was losing it. "In this place it seems like such a shame./ Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same./ Everywhere I look you're all I see./ Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be."

She looked up to her audience as she began to wail out the chorus, finding the stranger staring at her once more.... and suddenly he seemed familiar. The words felt perfect as she sang them, as if she had said something similar to him once before. "Come on tell me./ Make this all go away./ You make this all go away./ I'm down to just one thing./And I'm starting to scare myself./ Make this all go away./ You make this all go away./ I just want something./ I just want something I can never have."
His eyes had grown darker, as if he had recognized there was a connection between them too. Maybe he heard the same secret meaning in the song that she did.

"Think I know what you meant./ That night on my bed./ Still picking at this scab./
I wish you were dead."

She opted not to sing the last two lines of the song and rather just let them fade out. Breaking the hypnotizing gaze between them as the room was stripped of the music; she replaced the mike, turned off the cd player, and started to make her way over to him.

@~~~~~~

Mamoru was enchanted by her song. He knew she probably didn't write it, but with the way she sung it, he felt it was very personal to her. Somehow, it felt as if the words she ground out in such a pain filled voice held memories of his past. As if they were shadows of distant events. Still recall the taste of your tears. and I just want something I can never had. made odd pictures dance fleetingly through his head, which he barely managed to grasp a hold of before they disappeared. Kissing a girl as they both cried. The same girl crying out for him to stay. He could not make out her face clearly as he became immersed in the song, but suddenly as she looked up to the audience, it all came into focus. The look of unbearable hurt was etched across her face again as she called out to him with the chorus. All the words she sung opened up a floodgate, letting the tides of his past overtake him and engulf his mind. He remembered now. He knew who she was. She looked as if she had a good idea of who he was too, and as she finished the song she made his way over to him. The world faded away except for the girl from the past walking towards his table.

AN: Welp; there is chapter 8. I hope everyone likes this one. I know the song was kind of depressing that I used, but I figured it would make a good amount of sense once everything is revealed. BTW, the song was "Something I Can Never Have" By Nine Inch Nails. Where ever I had a / in the song was where that line in the song ended. Besides that, hoped you enjoyed it and I will update again as soon as possible. Please review!! Thanks and bye!! :::waves happily from her desk:::