"Rage Chokes the Flower...."
- By: Sara Angeldust
Chapter 3: "Dreams of the past"
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Rage chokes the flower,
Until she cries no more,
Possesing all the beauty,
Hungry still for more.- ______________________________________________________________________
*Disclaimer*: Regular disclaimer applies here. I don't own Gundam Wing yada yada yada. I do own Sara Angeldust, Anderson and her parents. Other characters are owned by Sotsu and Sunrise companies yada yada yada. This is for entertainment purposes only, I'm getting no money from this story. *snaps fingers* Damn.
*Authors Note* oh and by the way just for fun I have put a poem/song in this chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read it! It will help you feel what Sara is feeling. Once you have read it, it may not make any sense to you but once you read the first part of this chapter you will understand it. PLEASE DO THIS! I would love it if those who read my fic can actually feel what I'm writing. Ok here it goes.
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"Silence"
By: Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan
Arranged by: Me, Sara Angeldust
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(Note: I do not own these words, they are copyrighted to those people above. I may have added or taken out one or two words but it's still theirs. Don't sue me I just loved the words and they fit really well with my story. I am using them for entertainment purposes only and I am getting no money from having these words in this chapter. Thank you.)
Give me release,
Witness me,
I am outside,
Give me peace.
Heaven holds a sense of wonder,And I wanted to believe,
That I'd get called up,
When this rage in me subsides,
Passion chokes the flower,
Until she cries no more,
Possessing all the beauty,
Hungry still for more.
Heaven holds a sense of wonder,
And I wanted to believe,
That I'd get called up,
When this rage in me subsides.
In this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence,
In this white wave,
In this silence,
I believe.
I can't help this longing,
Comfort me,
I can't hold it all in,
If you won't let me.
Heaven holds a sense of wonder,
And I wanted to believe,
That I'd get called up,
When this rage in me subsides.
In this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence,
In this white wave,
In this silence,
I believe,
I have seen you,
In this white wave you are silent,
You are breathing, in this white wave.
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*Authors Note*- ok, welcome to the third chapter of "Rage Chokes the Flower…". I have a couple of things that I need to fix here. First off this damn Earth/Space thing is driving me insane! I will fix it up in this chapter so I will need to do some Jedi mind tricks on you. K? Alright #1u wil think as I say. The ship that is carrying the circus is in space .....they are headed for the L4 colony......Heero finds the kin of that dude he killed on L4........k?. Even though this may not be true just play along ok? Will u pretend if I tell u that it will save hundreds of under payed gophers?(inside joke)
Ok I also I need to clarify somethin else 'bout this chapter. This chapter has to do with a dream Sara has. I'm not going to introduce it like she's having a dream, I'm just going to go strait into it so don't get all confuzzled. k? ok here it goes......
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A.C. 188
(The L4 Colony)
Two eyes stood transfixed on the sight unfolding in front of her. (The small 8 year old girl was too short to see through the window so an old crate helped her in the height problems.)Her dark brown, almost black eyes stared intently at the even darker scene of a familiar world. Space. Small stars could be seen from her window, and one special star seemed to wink at her. Actually it wasn't a real star, it was a colony. A place of residence for those who chose to live in space.
It was one of many colonies in the area. Of course colony No. LG7289 had a beautiful city, and the parks at colony LE1462 were the prettiest she had ever seen, but nothing compare to the wonder and beauty hidden in the steel alloy walls of colony L4.
Her real home lay on Earth in Asia, but ever since she was 5, L4 was her home. The small girl couldn't help but be excited. This would be the first time her parents were going on a trip without taking her or her 4 year old sister Heather. But at the same time she felt left behind. Even though her father had explained to her the importance of this trip to the L1 colony.
"Sara?"
A voice behind her caught the child's attention.
It was Anderson followed by Dr. J. Anderson was Sara's family's butler and Dr. J was her mobile suit trainer. Dr. J had been teaching Sara her piloting skills ever since she was 4, and although he was very strict he was a good teacher. Sara had developed higher skills then some of the older mobile suit pilots.
"Yes." Sara said turning towards the two men with a twinkle in her eye.
"Your parents are about to leave Ms. it's about time we get to the docking bay."
Sara knodded her head and jumped off the crate, walking a couple paces in front of the men. Her excitement was almost uncontrollable. She loved her parents dearly and always hated it when they left her alone, but she also loved the adventure. Her father would always give her a little speech on how to behave while they were away and Sara always followed it to the very last detail. But something didn't seem the same and her fears were put to the truth when she saw her parents. They were standing next to the doorway to the entrance bay of the ship they were to leave on.
"Daddy!"
Sara ran to her father as soon as she saw him. Giving him a huge hug. Her father scooped his daughter up into his arms and squeezed her tight, as if he wanted to take her with him. He held Sara out in front of him, Sara putting her hands on his shoulders.
"My goodness. By the way you came running it was as if we hadn't seen each other in months." Her father said in a tenor voice filled with love.
Sara smiled happily. "Well by how long you say you'll be gone it will seem like that when you come back." Sara said in a sad sounding voice. Her mother, who was standing next to them patted Sara on the shoulder giving Sara a warm feeling of comfort.
"We'll only be gone for two weeks sweety, you'll survive." Her mother said in the sweetest voice she had ever heard. Sara nodded her head and gave her mother a hug, still in her fathers arms. Letting go of mother her father put her down. But Sara felt as if he was doing it reluctantly. As if he wanted to hold her forever.
Her father crouched down to her level taking something from his jacket pocket. It was a necklace. Sara noticed it as being her fathers. He pulled her hand out so it was outstretched and placed the necklace in her palm closing it.
"This was my mothers. She gave it to me when I was about your age. And now I'm giving it to you."
Sara opened her palm to look at it. It was a small silver cross with a vine twisted around it. The chain was a beautiful silver thing, but to long for her to wear. And the leaves on the vine were so beautifully crafted Sara almost thought she could pick them off the vine wrapping around the cross. Sara closed her palm over the necklace again and put her closed fits next to her heart.
"I'll never lose it. And when I get old enough I'll never take it off." Sara said looking at her father. Her father smiled at her getting up from his crouching position. Looking at his watch he motioned towards the open tunnel way that extended towards their space craft.
"We had better get going. Our pilot doesn't like to be kept waiting." Her father looked at Andrews. "Please take care of our daughters while we're gone Andrews." Andrews knodded . Looking at Dr. J, Sara's father gave him a certain, 'don't do anything I wouldn't do' look. Before looking at his wife.
Sara watched them walk down the tunnel like hallway, waving and shouting good-byes to her parents who gave her one last wave as they disappeared from around the corner.
Running towards the nearest window Sara stared out, looking at the space craft that was almost out of her parallel field of vision. She watched as the ship detached from the port and slowly made it's way into space. Sara, deciding not to watch them leave, turned around and walked back to the two men. Now that her parents were gone, Sara's adeventure really began. She never knew what new things Anderson had for her to do. Her parents always left him something to teach her, and no matter what new tasks she was given she always had a feeling of forced happiness. As if doing her lessons were not what she should have been doing. oh well, she always enjoyed them no matter what. Suddenly a shout came from the room next to the bay which startled Sara.
"What's that! That mobile suit is going to hit the ship!"
Sara stiffened. Her parents were on that ship! The small girl ran out the door to the next room, coming to a halt at the doorway.
She was confronted with a large control room. Sara stared at the large screen depicting he parents craft floating towards space. But coming up fast from the left of them was what looked like a Leo mobile suit. In the room the crew was running around trying to make contact with the intruding mobile suit but with no luck. Suddenly the mobile suit flared to life. It lurched closer to her parents craft as if intentionally. Sara's eyes widened.
That was no ordinary mobile suit. That suit was going to attack the ship!
As if responding to her thoughts the mobile suit pulled up it's rifle from it's resting place on it's hip and shot one clean shot strait at the small craft. Seconds later the craft exploded. Leaving Sara in a state of shock.
As if being hit by a freight train Sara felt as her heart shattered in her small chest. She swore she could feel the pieces floating dead in her body. Sara clutched her throat. Air! She was suffocating. The small girl feel to her knees, the explosion playing over and over in her head, an image she knew would haunt her the rest of her life. Sara felt as if she was going to faint, but a warm hand grabbed her, stopping her from falling onto her side. Someone shook her, her lungs still heaving for air she tried to talk but to no avail, all that escaped her mouth was a small groan. Suddenly as if someone had opened a window to and air depleted room, Sara could breathe again. Sara opened her eyes as a sickening feeling passed over body, a feeling of emptiness and neglect. She got up from her kneeling position feeling unnaturally calm, and pushing away the hand that was trying to help her up.
"Are you all right Ms. Sara?" The worried voice of Anderson asked.
Sara was silent. The first emotions of sadness hit her hard, but no tears fell down her small cheeks. Then a new emotion pushed aside the sadness and took over her mind. Anger. Hatred. With the coming of these new emotions, the child Sara had once been was gone. All she could feel was the anger of her parents murder. Those who caused it would pay. Dearly.
Running. All she remembered was running. Past the out stretched arms of Anderson and the suspiciously still figure of Dr. J. Past closed doors, through long black hallways, and past curious looking technicians.
Where was she taking herself? Then she knew. Sara had taken herself to the first place that had come to her mind. The mobile suit entrance bay. And there, only ten feet away from her stood her ticket to revenge.
The Leo mobile suit.
Before Sara knew what she was doing, she was seated in the cockpit of the nearest mobile suit. The only sound she could hear was the sound of the engines firing up and technicians trying to stop her from leaving. She closed the cockpit door which sealed with a low hiss. The darkness of the suit comforted her as she went through a quick systems check and began to turn the mobile suit towards the large bay doors. A small block appeared on her left screen with the face of the commander. He was yelling at her, but she didn't care. She pushed the nearest button shutting off the screen and it's angry occupant. In a last attempt to stop the girl the technicians began shutting the bay doors. But Sara just gave and angry smirk and lurched the mobile suit forward as fast as she could. Making it through the closing doors in plenty of time, but not enough for any other mobile suits to go through. Sara was confronted with her old friend Space, which was now evil for hiding that horrible assassin from her sight. Flying above the large ship, Sara saw what looked like a small yellow speck streaking across towards Earth.
"System magnify." Sara said causing her left screen to blink a few times before magnifying the yellow speck till it was noticeable. Sara cringed in hatred. It was the suit that had killed her parents! Filled with a new sense of hatred Sara lurched her suit forward again, speeding for the fleeing suit.
"Sara what in the hell are you doing?!"
The voice was angry and yet calm at the same time. It took Sara a few seconds to realize that the voice had come from her right screen, where the familiar face of Dr. J had appeared. She stared at it with the hatred that had been plastered on her face. She hated that man no matter how much he had given her. She wanted to get her revenge without interference.
"What does it look like?! I'm taking revenge for my parents." Anger did not flatter the small girl and she began to shake with it. Sara stared at the screen to her left. She was getting closer to the suit. But the man on her right screen shook his head.
"That is not how revenge is supposed to work . Getting yourself killed for it doesn't help your parents. And besides young one, you have your whole life to take revenge for what that pilot has done. Don't end your fight so soon Sara."
Sara stared at the man. What he said was true and deep inside she felt herself arguing over what to do. The hatred she felt for that pilot was so strong that not much was going to hold her back. But she also knew that if she attacked she could get killed, then what vengeance would have been given?
Sara stopped her suit's lurch towards the other suit. Dr.J was right. She was better off not going after the pilot no matter how much her heart ached. As her anger slowly ebbed away Sara felt it be replaced by and ever growing sadness. She wanted to cry, but for some reason no tears could come to her eyes. Sara was shocked at it. Was her child like self so gone that she could no longer cry anymore?
Sara looked at the face of Dr. J. He knodded in response to her thought as if he knew what she was thinking.
"Sara the road ahead of you will be very rough. I can see already that it has begun. And you may never be able to go back to the life you once knew. If you choose to follow through with it I will tell you now that you will lose the side of innocence you knew only a few hours ago."
Sara thought about what he said then remembered something.
"What about Heather? She is only 4. What will happen to her?" She said remembering her younger sister that had not been with her or her parents on the trip since she was to young to go in space. Dr. J spoke again.
"She will be able to lead the life that your parents left for you to take. You will be dead to her if you decide to go with me. But you might be able to return to her one day if you wish"
That thought comforted Sara. She was the only sister Heatherhad ever known but Heather was strong. She would be able to continue with Sara's destiny. And besides, maybe one day Sara might be able to see Hannah again. Then Sara thought about what Dr. J had said about the road she would have to take. She knew he must mean she would continue her mobile suit training and become a soldier. It was the only way Sara could think of to get revenge for her parents. The thought of going into war never scared her but it did make her think about how different it would have been from what her parents wanted her to do.
"What do you say Sara? Are you ready to take the hidden road?" Dr. J said.
Sara looked at Dr. J. Was she ready? Was she capable of joining with Dr. J and all the others who wanted revenge against those who had taken those close to them? Sara put her 8 year old hands on the mobile suit controls, firing up the engines again. She did a quick movement to turn her mobile suit around to face back towards the ship. She wasn't sure if what she was going to do was right but no matter what, she would have to stick with her decision. For her sisters sake and those who counted on her the most. Those who were dead because of a cruel pilot with a mobile suit. Then she spoke.
"Mission Accepted."
With those words Sara shot the mobile suit back towards the ship. She would do everything in her small amount of power to make those who had taken away her parents and her child soul from her, suffer.
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A.C. 195
(The Circus)
Sara sat up still awake in her bed. Sweat trickling down her face, she didn't dare go back to sleep for fear of her dream. It had come to her periodically ever since the actually event. As if it was keeping her in line. Making sure she didn't change her mind or forget her promise. But no matter what, she would never forget, no matter how much it ate at her soul. The dream was often frightning, because the thoughts and emotions were so fresh in her mind and it often felt like she was reliving them all over again. What horrors did her mind set to her? Why did it like to play with her head so? For whatever reason that was, it had driven her to suicide more then once, but it laughed at her everytime, for no matter what, somehow, she would survive to live and have the dream again and again.
Sara wiped the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead, releaving it of the sticky water. She wouldn't sleep again that night, that was for sure. Sara looked at the small desk next to her bed. On it was the very necklace that often haunted her dreams. Sara hesitantly reached for it, clasping it back around her neck. As she had promised, she had never taken it off ever since she was able to wear it, but her dreams forced her to disgard it when she sleep for fear of the object bringing more dreams to her head. The necklace scared her, since it was a link to her past which haunted her so. Feeling the small weight around her neck, Sara actually felt a comfort that had once possesed her body when she was smaller, but had left her when her parents died. Memories.
"I swear those damn memories will eventually kill me." Sara said getting up from her bed. Pulling on her largly flared bellbottoms, and pulling her sleevless, dark green, turtle neck style, tight shirt over her head she sat back down on the bed. Sara grabbed her black steel toed boots from underneath her bed and began trying to pull them over her feet. When put on, her boots went up to just above her ankles so they were a little annoying to put on early in the morning. Having fought with her boots for at least 10 minutes Sara stood back up walking over to her dresser grabbing a silver scrunchie and putting her knee length night black hair into a really low pony tail..
(okay imagine knee length night black hair. got it? ok now image a scrunchie wrapped around her hair down about to the middle of her back. got that picture? good.)
Sara sighed heavly.
'Well that was less then fulfilling a sleep.' She thought walking towards her door. Opening it with hardly any sound, as she normally did on sleepless nights, Sara walked with a tiger like soundless walk to the navigational computer on the 2nd level of the ship. She had been planning to leave as soon as they had arrived at the L4 colony and since Trowa knew who and what she was, she could expect some sort of help or at least a reaction from him. Well that was Trowa for you. He was either in a sure-why-not mood or a I-really-don't-care mood. Lately he had been in a don't-come-near-me-or-I-might-explode mood for reasons unknown to Sara. Finaly reaching the door to the navigation room Sara noticed a light under the door. Not thinking much about it Sara opened the door. But to her surprise she didn't see an empty navigation room...........
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hehehehehehe. I know. u hate me cause of the cliff hanger. sorry but it just works out later. so whatcha think? comments? Flames? Bashing? just e-mail me at: sandrock_angel@hotmail.com /give me ur opnion.
Oh and stay tuned for the next chapter of the newly titled "Rage Chokes the Flower....." called:
Chapter 4: "The Shell meets the Perfect Soilder."
