"Rage Chokes The Flower…"

By: Sara Angeldust

**************

"Chapter 5: A Time For Redemption"

**************

Rage chokes the flower,

Until she cries no more,

Possessing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more,

***************
Disclaimer: regular disclaimer applies here. I do not own Gundam Wing , it is the property of it's respective owners and editors, the Sunrise© and Sotsu © companies. I only own Sara Angeldust. SHE'S MINE so don't take her without my permission ok? K.

****************

Another sleepless night. Sara knew the cause could never be excitement that was for certain. No. Her mind told her she was paranoid. She had to stifle a laugh. That was a regular occurrence now wasn't it. But ever since she left her fate she knew something watched her. As if something from her past watched her and guarded her. It had saved her already at least two or three times from herself.

Maybe it was her conscience. Funny. Her own mind saving her own body. Now that was a real cause for a shrink visit. 'What's wrong you say?' Well I think my multiple personalities are having a fight.' Or maybe that wasn't it at all. Maybe it was the spirit of her dead parents. Sara never really believed in spirits and all that new age crap but once in a while things would happen and she wouldn't know why that certain thing came into her head or why she said that certain thing. As if someone had dug into her head and said 'Here say this!"

Whatever it was it was always there. Being ever watchful and caring about what she did to herself. Well now she was going to settle that little voice in her head. Maybe even satisfy it's craving for her happiness. L-4 held the key to her past and future and that was where she was headed.

Restlessly Sara look to her left at the digital clock. It's red glowing numbers read 5:30 am. Time to prepare for her little joy ride into the past. With no noise Sara rose from her bead and got dressed. Deciding today to try something new with her extremely long hair she pulled it into a half bun still letting a third of it fall. This did nothing for the length and it still reached to her waist. It occurred to her that she had never considered cutting it after all those years. But then she thought why start now and forgot her hair.

As Sara walked to her desk thoughts of the day before flooded into her head.

'We will be passing the L-4 colony at about 7:30 am tomorrow on our way to Earth. If your going to leave you'd better do it then. You may not get another chance.' She remembered Heero saying. 'Besides, we can't very well have you dragging around behind us.'

She had nodded in response to his sarcastic comment but inside she was thinking. About how she would leave and what she would bring. Now that the time had come Sara realized there would be nothing to bring from her small home except for a few items of clothing in a bag she had gotten from the manager.

As Sara walked out of her adopted room she closed the door with a click. She had remember to say goodbye to Cathrine and the others she had met in the circus the weeks before. The manager, although a little reluctant, was pretty much ok with Sara leaving. She guessed that he realized that there were other pressing matters in Sara's life then just the circus. And as she walked down the metal hallway of the circus ship she realized that this new chapter in her life might turn out to be the most important ever.

*************

As Sara worked on the last system checks of the deporting ship she noticed a figure appear behind her. It moved slowly as it entered the dock and then leaned against the wall. Sara smiled.

"Come to say your good-byes?" Sara asked as she entered the coordinates to L-4 into the ships computer.

Trowa stood like a statue against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms folded over his chest. Perfect Trowa position. Any other person would have thought he was sleeping, but Sara knew better.

"No. Not really. Good-byes aren't my style." Trowa said slowly with an undetectable smile. Sara knodded as she finished the number code and heard the computer beep with authorization.

She looked up at the red haired boy. Trowa just stood there as if nothing was happening. As if Sara was just doing some routine thing. Not as if she was leaving. She had to smile. Well that was Trowa. Heero and him were almost the same. Monotone on everything. Slowly Sara got out of the cock pit of the small shuttle, pretending to inspect the outer paneling.

Sara felt around the outer metal, checking for any spots that might want to come loose in her trip into outer space. She took great care in her work not just because it was important, but because she wanted to look busy. A she reached the end of the ships small wings and doubled back to the front Sara spoke.

"Thanks for everything Trowa. You don't know how important your saving me was."

At this Trowa looked up from his rest. She had his attention.

"It's not just that you saved my life, but you also saved my soul. I was pretty messed up Trowa. Suicidal wasn't even the word for it. Because you took me out of that hole I thank you with all my heart."

As Sara looked at Trowa he gave her a weird look. She had to laugh.

"Don't look so worried Trowa. I don't wanna marry you or anything. I just thought I'd say thanks just incase something happens." Sara said smiling and going back to her adopted work.

"I highly doubt anything will happen to you. Actually I don't think this will be the last time any of us see you."

Sara smiled at what Trowa said. That was for hell sure. She would see them again.

"Yeah you got that right." Sara said as she climbed into the cock pit of the ship, her preliminary outer shell check done. With her good-byes said it was time to leave.

"Hey Sara."

Sara looked up at Trowa from where she sat in the cock-pit.

"Take care of yourself, ok." Trowa said looking at her. She smiled at him and looked back to her ship. By the time she glanced back where he had stood all she saw was his back walking out of the docks.

Sara nodded and smiled as she closed the cockpit door and stared the launching sequence to the ship.

"L-4 here I come."

*************

Sara watched from her small window as the circus ship passed by and out of the area where she had departed from. With that chapter of her life done and over with all she could look at was to the future. Although she had absolutely no idea of what she should do in the long run she tried to think of the immediate endeavor. Getting into L-4 would be, of course, easy. It was getting out and going somewhere that would give her hell. She knew she would have to get what she needed to reenter the war but getting in was the hard part. What place did she have in these Eve wars anymore. As far as she knew her missions had come to an end. She had done what she was sent to do. And yet, something still loomed in the back of her mind. A task not completed, a memory not yet confronted. Many of her past events felt just like that. A memory that she never confronted and even at times, ran away from. How complicated life could get!

The beeping of her intercom interrupted her thoughts as she re awoke into reality. Had she already gotten close enough to L-4 to dock? By the looks of the man on her screen she had.

"Please enter your docking and authorization codes and please wait."

Sara did as the man said and entered her codes onto the frequency. She stared at a 'wait one moment as we process your codes' screen impatiently as the picky people on L-4 looked over her codes. She was accustomed to such precautions as the people of the colonies had gotten a little more wary of tourists that came to all colonies. Ever since the start of the Eve Wars the colonies were constantly in fear of outside attacks after L-2 and L-5 had been attacked. Besides the many troops already stationed outside of the colony Sara knew that inside there would be even more troops from both the Alliance and Oz.

The seconds blipped away as the screen began to annoy her. Finally, the man returned to the screen to grant Sara entrance to the colony. As she entered the docks Sara hurriedly docked the ship into her assigned dock and shut down the ships computer. As she went about the ship Sara was thorough in making sure she left no evidence that she had ever been there, let alone any human being at all. She had deleted all the files and made sure to cover the internal tracks of the ship the night before, so no one could ever figure out where it had come from.

As Sara grabbed her bag from a corner of the ship she noticed something metallic shine from underneath the bag. She looked closer in curiosity and found the source. It was a gun. A rather nice one too. Next to it lay some money and extra rounds for the gun. Sara smiled at Heero's present. She was glad he wasn't totally heartless. Sara grabbed the gun, placed it at her side and put the money in her bag as she walked from the ship.

*************

L-4. The so called "rich" man's Colony. It was here that those wealthier of money had conjured to live. The colony was not only home to most of the Earth's movie stars and politicians summer homes, but also home to the industrial Winner family. This family of rich satellite owners had been famous for at least three decades. Not just for their great wealth and amazing numbers of offspring, but their almost single handed creation of L-4 itself. The stories of the family were numerous, and most of a good nature. Stories were a major thing on L-4. Stories and rumors of family's that almost climbed the rungs of the social ladder to become accepted.

Years before the Winners ever occupied space another family lived. These people were the Reinhardt's. Behind them lay a large lineage of well to do people. These ranging from doctors and lawyers to politicians and industrial tycoons to a strong line of mechanical engineers. The family had thrived as the richest the world and space had ever seen for more then a century and a half. Now all that was left of the family were some bankrupt relatives and old mansions. In the year AC 188 the last successful Reinhardt named Dalic Adrian Reinhardt IV died. Assassinated for reasons only known to the last remaining members of the famous family.

Left behind from the last successful Reinhardt were two young daughters. Related family members often talked of a fortune being resurrected if only the daughters could be found. Though there was little hope and a long time span since the girls had last been seen. Two small glimmers of hope for a family doomed to fall into the shadows.

Sara remembered the stories perfectly. This great colony, this rich colony had more stories of wealth and power then she cared to remember. Probably because she knew most of them from the inside, after all this was her home.

As she walked down the oh so familiar streets, Sara couldn't help but want to smile, sing, and dance. No matter how many bad memories she could think of there was nothing that could take away her joy. She was home. Sara as almost startled as she felt herself smiling at the small children that ran rampant down the streets and even at all the large mansion as she passed through the more wealthy parts of the colony. Memories of her child hood flooded back to her periodically as she passed schools and familiar stores. Reality began to snap back into place as she began to get further and further into the industrial section of her old home. Sara became more aware of her surroundings as she passed buildings and storage facilities that brought memories more fresh then the others. As the last streets of nice, clean buildings disappeared Sara looked for the one facility she needed. AS she turned a junk filled corner she saw it. It had been almost 2 years since she had seen the rusted out building but she could never forget it.

Years before, the large hanger like building had been used as a storage facility, but had long been abandoned. Since that time the sides of the building had begun to rust away. Sara stood looking at it. She could see almost through it at points where the rust had eaten away at the weakened steel.

Sara stood still and silent as a mouse. The only motion was the wind, which ruffled her long black hair and bangs, carrying with it, voices from her past. Sara just stared. Memories of her childhood and adolescence pasted through her head, giving her courage. Sara sighed .

"Well, here goes everything."
************

"This is cadet 057 reporting. I've got a visual on a possible spy. "

The pilot said over his intercom. Maybe now the commander would notice him. He waited until he heard the commanders voice over the line.

"What do you have 057?"

"I just saw a possible spy enter one of the old Alliance bunkers. We've been getting messages about Oz spies in the area. I think we should check it out sir." 057 waited as his commander debated over the thought and answered.

"Right. There's nothing going on over here so why don't you, 046, 098 and 023 go check it out. Report back if you find something. I want you back in less then 2 hours, got it?"

057 almost jumped out of his cockpit with joy.

"Yes sir, commander!"

Excitedly, he turned his Leo towards the bunker.

*************

Sara moved slowly through the debris piled on the floor in the building. There must have been a battle near the building for there to be so much metal on the floor. She didn't remember there being so much junk the last time she had been there. As Sara reached the back of the bunker she came upon an extremely large door, big enough to fit a ship through. Finally getting in front of it, she looked on the wall for the switch to open it. As she looked, she heard a large amount of noise coming from the outside of the building. As Sara listened she knew what it was. Mobile suits! She began to search franticly for the switch. She had to get to door open!

*************

"046, and 023 , you guys search towards the front and 098 and I will look in the back."

057 couldn't believe how good it felt to have power for once. He had worked his ass off for over a year and a half for that stupid commander of his and for what? No title movement and a lousy spot in the back of the corp. Now it was his turn at greatness. As soon as they found the spy he would be a hero! The commander would notice him and maybe even make him the co. commander. The possibilities were endless!

As they got closer to the back of the bunker everything on his outer scanners began to get quiet. Too quiet for what he liked. Turning the camera's to the blackness of the back wall he saw something. A flash of a strange metal came to his eyes. As he looked closer he noticed that there was an extremely large door to the back. The door was slightly open, something that seemed odd.

"098, go check out that bunker door." He said shouting his orders to the Leo that stood beside him. As the other Leo got closer to the door he backed up. Something was in there and he wasn't going to be the one to find out. He watched with much curiosity as the pilot got close enough to the door to open it and look into the old storage room. He heard the creaking of the old metal and the door swung open enough for the pilot to look in. It was then that he heard the man over the com.

"Sweet Jesus, it's a ahhhhhhh….." As 057 heard this, a large flash of light came from behind the door slicing the Leo into three pieces. A huge explosion followed sending debris from the exploded Leo everywhere.

"What the….." It was then that the pilot became truly frightened. Half insane the pilot punched at the buttons in his Leo until his commanders face appeared on the screen.

"Sir! Come in, this is 057! We've got some major…. Oh my God! It's a Gundam! Ahhhhhhhhh…."

With that 057's side of the connection went dead.

*************

Sara was breathing heavily as she sliced through one Leo and another. They kept coming and she kept slicing. She ignored their shocked expressions and screams for their gods as she made her way past the corp. War had been her way of life, and it felt good to be engaged in battle again.

Beads of sweat fell into her eyes as she destroyed the last of the corp. She remembered the saying that Dr. J had taught her when she was younger.

"Those who lays eyes on a Gundam shall never live to tell of it."

Sara mouthed these words as she settled into the cockpit. Wiping the sweat from her brow she searched the cockpit for the right button. Finding it she pushed it and everything on her screen turned a shade of green. Stealth mode. What a great invention.

Sara looked about the cockpit as if she had just been reunited with a long lost friend. Memories of battles and explosions filled her head as she remembered her first days in Shadow. Shadow. The name filled her head. She had remembered her Gundam's name. Then again how could she ever forget it? He had been her war companion for years.

Sara looked over the familiar control panels of Shadow linking each button to a memory. So she hadn't forgotten each thing after all. It hadn't been that long after all. It sure had seemed like more then a century since she left Shadow in the old bunker and went out to try and commit suicide. Sara cringed at the thought of her suicide attempts actually working. At the time it had seemed like the best idea, but now she was glad that she hadn't gone through with it.

Looking at her screen Sara watched as her Gundam just stood in front of the buildings as if nothing had happened. Of course, the scattered remains of the destroyed Leo's proved other wise. Sara waited for twenty minutes inside the cockpit of Shadow. More or less just to savor the feeling of being in the cockpit again, but also to see if a rescue crew would come to see what happened. Oz troops of a feather flocked together, as they say, and where there was one corp. another wasn't far behind. It stunned Sara that after that much time no other team had come to check out what had gone wrong. She guessed that this corp. had not been that important and that they're destruction was not going to be missed much. Sara shook her head in pity. Those poor soldiers. It was a horrible thing to not be missed in death. Sara sighed. Sensing that her vigilance was over she powered up the thrusters to Shadow and took off into the colony's sky.

*************

The day was quiet as a pair of light green eyes stared with much love and emotion into the sky of the colony. Behind these eyes lay a sadness and despair that only those dedicated to a life of war and killing would posses. These eyes watched as the fake clouds passed by, once in awhile letting them see the buildings of the other side of the colony come into view. Colonies were amazing in that they didn't have just one floor and a huge sky, but two floors where the sky danced in the middle. These mirror images were ideal for painters and artisans of the worlds, but confusing and sometime terrifying to those who had not grown accustomed to seeing two grounds. These eye on the other hand had grown up here in this false world and grew to love it's majesty and grace.

As the eyes grew weary and tired they glanced back into the interior of the limousine that they were in. As the scenery passed by, the wind came into the car which made the eyes feel comforted. As they looked on towards the gaining horizon a hand came up to move the lowing blonde hair from the view of the green eyes.

"How great it is to be visiting our home again." The male voice said to no one.

"How I have missed L-4 so much."

*************

As the Shadow flew silently through the colonies sky Sara had the chance to gaze out at the area's where she herself had grown up. The views of the hills and parks that were scattered about made a warm feeling again take it's place in her heart. It was then that Sara stopped Shadow mid-flight. How could it be? It…it had been destroyed. No. Sara couldn't move. The sight before her eyes was becoming more and more like a nightmare. Sara almost doubled over as haunting images made their ways from the back of her mind and into her head again.
"NO! I won't think of it! I don't want to remember! Leave me ALONE!"
Sara screamed into her cockpit as she tried to stop the pictures from entering her head. The smells even seemed to be coming back to her. The stink of smoke and charred oak filled her nostrils with hatred and fear. How could her head do this to her. Then again it was the image on her screen that had started this. Taking her hands away from her eyes Sara stared at the image. She couldn't believe it and yet there it was, right in front of her staring at her like a broken piece of her past. A piece that she knew she needed to confront. How she was going to do it she was not sure of. Lightly, as if the controls of Shadow were parts of a china doll, Sara aimed Shadow towards the broken remains of the Reinhardt family mansion.

*************

Well there it is. Dun dun dun…..another cliff hanger. Man we should have a party! This is the farthest I have ever gotten in ANY fanfiction I have ever written! F I V E C H A P T E R S! goodness it's been so long since I started this. Ok enough with the speech u probably want to hear about the next chapter, ne? ok let me seeeeeeeee, what should I name the next chapter? For all ur informations, I always name the next chapters right after I finish the one before it. So let me seeeee, ooooo I KNOW!

Coming soon, to a website near you:

"Rage Chokes The Flower…"

Chapter 6:

"Through The Eyes of Peace"

AUTHORS NOTE!:

I soon will be doing some editing changes to the earlier chapters of this story. I wrote them awhile ago and I'm not that happy with how they sound now. Look for the revisions!