Story: Beyond All Limits
Author: Steph (stephanie406@juno.com)
Disclaimer: Don't own Alias, or any characters thus portrayed. It all belongs to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot Productions, ABC, etc.
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Spoilers/Summary : post "After Thirty Years"; Vaughn's alive, and Sydney's been captured
Distribution: I'd love it if you would, just let me know where it's going! CD definitely has all rights to posting (grin)
He wasn't sure how many more surprises he could take.
'I love you. I love you. I love you'… it was the endless circular thought pattern his mind was making. The last words she'd said to him.
Jack seriously thought he was going to go insane before long.
He sat in a conference room, surrounded by agents, both CIA and FBI. He spotted a long ago forgotten Will Tippin sitting quietly in a corner, intently watching the bustle of agents, following every movement. Jack had no doubt his reporter's mind was absorbing everything until a time when he could mull it all over in peace.
Maps had been pulled. Everything they knew about Jack's former wife was pulled and pored over. 'So much for Omega-17' he mused. Where would Irina Derevko go? Where would she take Sydney? What did she do with Syd? What was it she wanted Sydney for? She must have a plan. They now knew she never went without one.
Jack wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know any of the answers to their questions. But he needed to know at the same time.
'I love you'
The information Vaughn had quickly detailed over the phone had sent both agencies into frantic activity. The noise level in the room had gone from the gentle hum of voices to a decibel that throbbed with intensity.
Vaughn had gone as quickly as Devlin would let him, begging his need for sleep.
Jack envied Vaughn's ability to go to sleep. As exhausted as Jack himself was, he knew that he'd never be able to sleep if he were to lie down. His mind wouldn't let him sleep. He would be plagued by her, haunted by her voice, whether he was sleeping or awake.
He never thought he'd admit it to himself just how much he loved Sydney. Just how much she'd managed to get him. But if he were to be brutally honest with himself, he'd never stopped loving her. He'd just stopped letting her know he loved her. He'd paid attention to what she did, who her friends were, how late she stayed out, what grades she'd made in school. Jack had believed that letting her, or anyone know just how much he cherished her would eventually be detrimental to her life.
It had turned out to be the opposite—not being an influence on Sydney's life had left her susceptible to the very people he'd been protecting her from.
Oh, he did love her. So much so that it scared him. It had scared him in backing away from her to protect her, and it scared him now that he couldn't protect her.
Jack had learned the hard way that in this business, you couldn't afford to have friends. Or family. One way or another there wound up being a conflict of interest, a compromising of that trust of honesty that normal people took for granted. It was the compromise that emerged when people had to keep secrets from one another, especially loved ones. Emotional attachments became things to avoid, not seek out. Sydney had found this out the hard way as well. And the game was all the more complex for double agents.
Sometimes, fighting for the greater causes of truth and honesty and the good of your country, of mankind… sometimes it took away your rights to any element of a 'normal' life. Sydney, bless her heart, refused to give in so easily.
'I love you'
Jack stood abruptly. "I need to clear my head. I'm taking a walk," he tersely informed Devlin, who just nodded in understanding. Jack left the room.
But he didn't go outside. No. Instead, Jack found a small empty dark room. And he sat down in an empty dark corner.
He was sick and tired of pretending he was empty. He was fed up with the darkness that accompanied his life, and had for many years. Death, despair, darkness… they were all what his life had gradually transcended into over the years. The risks were too high. He no longer had the strength to fight. Like Sydney, he'd entered the double agent world thirsting for revenge and serving the higher good. He'd been seeking vengeance, any kind he could put his hands into, to lessen the pain Laura's betrayal had caused.
His anger had long since dissipated. All that was left was the desire to learn how to feel, how to live, again. For Sydney's sake. Even with that desire included, all that was left of the man Jack Bristow had once been was a lonely old man who'd missed out on so many of the good things life had to offer him.
Still beyond his comprehension was the miracle his daughter had handed him when she'd forgiven him for being who he was, what he'd chosen to do to protect her. She'd understood, finally, and she'd forgiven him. It was more than Jack Bristow expected out of life anymore. But regardless of it all, she loved him.
Jack Bristow couldn't remember the last time he'd been scared for anyone. And he was scared, very scared, for his daughter right now. Better than anyone, he'd come to realize just how dangerous the woman he'd married could be when she chose to be.
'I love you'
The walls had fallen down. And Jack's broken soul was left bare and feeling for the first time in years. Decades. Broken. That's what he was.
He heard a pitiful sound, a wailing soul, a cracking voice, rusty sobs. It was him, he thought in amazement. His fingers touched his face, surprised to feel the tears that ran down his cheeks in rivulets.
Suddenly, in a burst of inspiration and revelation and memories long buried, he knew where to find Sydney. And her captors.
Jack stood and quickly headed towards the conference room, stopping momentarily to wash the evidence of his tears away.
He pushed the doors open. Movement ceased when they got a look at the expression on his face. His words sent people scrambling off in all directions.
Jack sought Will out and met his gaze, and as comprehension dawned in the younger man's eyes, his mouth dropped open, a hopeful look overcoming him.
'I love you'
AN: *proud grin* I'm mighty proud of how Jack's character is turning out… always thought he was definitely a fascinating one, and seeing as how I'm a psych major, of course I have to get inside his mind… All right, I've got 2 chapters that I have left already written and ready to be typed and posted. Might be slower going after that, I'm not sure. Haven't written beyond that, although I have a sketch of an idea of what's to come. So maybe 4-5 chapters left in this. And then I start the sequel. I was thinking of calling it "Once Upon A Time", and there will be an appropriate beginning to fit the fairytale start. But I'm more than open to suggestions (same with telling me what POV's you like and I should try to use more often…)
FEEDBACK HERE PEOPLE!!!!!!! Lol
~AN~ (secondary author's note addition): to those that didn't understand the 'I love you' bit, that was explained in the very beginning of this chapter. 'I love you' were the last words that Jack heard Sydney say to him before she hung up the phone, and since he's worried about her, her last words keep haunting him (especially considering what those last words were). So no, as one person suggested, it's not Jack saying he loves Will (damn, right? lol)
