Ooooh, a new, fresh and sparkly chapter of adventure! In this new installment the xylophone cameos as the Instrument of Doom, and a certain "Scrawny Lad" goes completely flat. What will the absent-minded cellists do?!

~*~

Icy gusts of wind blew up the frightening band room staircase, sending the cellists into fits of deranged madness. Well, actually not… but Bethany the cellist threw herself over her cello like the mother of a newborn child.

"The cellos are going FLAT!" she cried, her eyes wide like sandwiches.

Nobody paid any attention to her because of the doughnuts. (Doughnuts… mmm…) It was a mad frenzy as the students made an orderly line and apologized to each other for getting in the way. As has already been mentioned, it was insane. I'd like to see someone in band fight his or her way through it.

And then… there stood two braided yummy doughnuts, side by side. They were nestled together like a light-yellow house in the spring sunshine before the trees grow leaves, except these doughnuts weren't on the corner of a busy street peopled with bikers who thought they were the only ones on the road. This is what the two doughnuts were like…

…And Meg the cellist HAD to have one! She dived toward the doughnut table in slow-motion, shouting "Nooooooooooooo…" in slow motion as well. The world slowed down as she crashed unceremoniously into the table. When she stood tall and proudly, she was holding the doughnut.

"Yay!!!"

"Hurrah!"

"The cellos are POSSESSED!!"

The other orchestra members called, waving their breakfast pastries like magical flags of Muffinland. (Muffinland is a land where muffins abound, bouncing about like fat cooked mounds of dough. They breed with bananas and become banana muffins, thus the name of the mix CD that Meg the cellist made last night. Also: Elves are hot.) But in all actuality they weren't waving Muffinland flags, but peacefully eating their doughnuts like good little orchestra children should. Very nice and messy.

Dustin the beautiful blue-eyed dark-haired adorable cutie was eating a doughnut and looking cute.

"It's wrong to make people that cute!"

Then… Bethany realized that the xylophone was calling to them. It said: "Come, little cellists. Come, and experience my rich chiming sound. Come, and be one with the xylophone. Pick up the woolly mallets… Come! Come and create beautiful music with the forbidden percussion section!"

"But…" Teal the cellist said, her bottom lip quivering, "But… the Scrawny Lad has gone completely flat! We… we CAN'T!" She threw her hand over her forehead and staggered into the drumset, sending the snare flying.

"Noooooooo!" cried the xylophone. "Play ME… I am the Wonderful Xylophone of… DOOM!"

So they did. And then the band instructor appeared out of nowhere (i.e. Hades) and said: "You vile orchestra children, was machst du?! Go and eat breakfast pastries like good little orchestra children should. And for Godsake, stop molesting the Euphonium!"

The Euphonium hiccupped, and looked up from its drink of vodka. It smiled sheepishly like a llama, and quickly tossed the vodka over its shoulder, where the glass hit the wall and shattered, sending several orchestra students into seizures.

"My apologies," hooted the Euphonium.

(WHAT?!)

And then the xylophone simply gloated.

And then the cellists went back to eating pastries.

And then Dustin continued to be adorable.

And the "Scrawny Lad" never quite got back in tune again… ever. It's the doom of the xylophone, I suppose. Or maybe someone ought to drag the darn "Lad" out into the street and shoot it.

Aaargh!!

Heh… heh…. Randomness…