Leaving It All Behind

By: SilverEpiphany

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Profiler, they are owned by NBC and the such. I just like to let them float around in my head for a little while, maybe make them dance for me, the usual stuff….  I also do not own the song "My Sundown". It is written and recorded by the members of Jimmy Eat World. Now on with the show ….

Authors Note* I was listening to some very depressing music when I wrote this fic. It's heavy on the angst. Please tell me if this is too moody and dark.

Chapter 2 – The Letter I see it around me

I see it in everything

I could be so much more than this

I said my goodbye's

This is my sundown

I'm gonna be so much more than this

            He still could not believe that she was gone. He can into the office after his break was over, and she was gone. The only explanation he received was a small white envelope with his name in bold black letters on the front. He knew she was running and it made him want to rip the letter to shreds before he even read it. But he just couldn't do it. He couldn't let go of the one piece of Sam that he had left. Carefully he took out his letter opener and slide it underneath the flap, opening it slowly.

With one hand high

You'll show them your progress

You'll take your time

But no one cares

Dear John,

            By the time you have read this letter, I will have given Bailey my letter of resignation and will be out of Atlanta. I wish I would have had the courage to say goodbye to you in person but the truth is that I was scared. As many times as you have told me how brave I am, I am still just a coward on the inside. I was afraid the team, especially you, would try to talk me out of leaving. But I had to leave, for my own sanity I just had to get out of that place. There is no joy in those cold stone walls. I feel only pain, heartbreak, and loss. We work in a suffocating and gruesome profession. You know that as well as I do.  I need time to heal John. Not once in the last five years have I been able to concentrate on myself, healing my wounds.

            I will miss you John. Its funny, when I first met you, Grace, and George, you were the one that I just couldn't stand. Now you're the one that I will miss the most. Your smile, your sense of humor; you always were able to make me laugh. I wish you showed more people that side of you. Then they would realize how incredible you really are.

            John, watch out for the rest of the gang for me ok? God, I am going to miss you so much. Maybe I will see you again someday, who knows? I wish you the best and remember that you always have a friend in me, even if I am not there. Goodbye.

Love,

Sam

I need you to show me

The way from crazy

I wanna be so much more than this

With one hand high

You'll show them your progress

You'll take you time

But no one cares

            His hands were trembling after he read her letter. He overwhelmed with emotions. Anger, love, sadness, all came rushing at him at once. Sadness, an overbearing sense of sadness hit him. She was gone, possibly forever, and all he had left of her was this small piece of paper. He could still smell her perfume on it. It was sweet like the smell of early spring, something he never wanted to forget. Why was he such a chicken? Why couldn't he have told her when he had the chance?

With one hand high

You'll show them your progress

You'll take your time

But no one cares

No one cares

I could be so much more than this

No one cares

I wanna be so much more than this

No one cares

I wanna be so much more than this

            He knew in his heart all along that he was in love with her. He could tell when she was upset; and secretly he was upset with her. When she met Coop, he was jealous. He felt used, discarded, unwanted. She never thought of him as boyfriend material. So he vowed to never tell her how he felt, for fear of being rejected. But now, now she had left him. He couldn't even admire her from a distance. It left an aching in his heart. It felt as if someone had reached inside of him and yanked it out. He never said "I love you" to her, and now he would never get the chance. She was gone.

Good goodbye, lovely time

Good goodbye, tin sunshine

Good goodbye, I'll be fine

Good goodbye, good goodnight.

The End

Please give me feedback. Should I write another chapter?