IX: Have You Seen This Person?
Four distraught kais walked down the hallways of a very large mansion. "This. Is. Bullshit," declared the purple-skinned one.
"Oh, calm down," said the blue.
"It's not fair!" the other one snapped back. King Kai sighed and let his brother go on a rant, seeing his attempts were futile. "'You'll understand some day'!" mocked the West Kai; abruptly, he stomped his feet, shouting out for everyone to hear, "Yeah..SOMEDAY WHEN WE'RE INSANE!"
King Kai spun around and shouted back, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP!? WE HAVE BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT!!" His brother sputtered in disbelief, ready to pounce when the South and East kais grabbed a hold of each arm, restraining him.
"He's right," said the East, "We've got bigger problems, and fighting each other is just a waste of time. Let's go." The four of them left to make sense of the rapidly deteriorating universe. Things were not looking up.
***
Goku sat with Pikkon at a cafe, both of them sipping grande lattes. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?" the green-skinned partner asked again for the seventh time.
"I'm fine," Goku assured, "Really. In fact, I feel better than I have all day."
Pikkon sighed, gulping down the rest of his coffee, "You were acting really goofy, you know that?"
Goku shook his head, absentmindedly stirring his latte with a spoon, "I don't know..it's kinda fuzzy. Once those..snakes did whatever they did, everything felt so clear again. It was like a fog had been lifted over my mind."
Pikkon looked up, briefly wondering how well the gods were doing before he returned his attention to the Saijin in front of him, "What did they do to you?"
Goku shrugged and finished his drink in one down, "Said some incantations, that's all. Something about reawakening my powers? It doesn't really make sense. I don't feel any different."
Pikkon made a gesture, "Yea, but you certainly look a little different."
The black-haired man sighed as he examined his tail, "Maybe it restored me back to my original state of being that has the highest power level?"
Pikkon nodded in agreement, the conclusion sounding reasonable to him, "I'm sure that's it." Goku made a small noise that resembled a "hn". Pikkon raised an eyeridge at the tone of the sound - it was indecisive. "What is it?" his partner asked, watching Goku as the man watched his own tail loop around in the air.
"It's just that I thought if I grew my tail back it'd be its natural color," Goku commented dryly, "not white."
***
Bulma sat in the waiting room doing precisely what the title of the room suggested. However, when it came to how she was waiting, it was simply impatiently. Her boyfriend's eccentric behavior had finally taken its toll on her nerves. She figured Vegeta might be right, and he could be suffering from some chronic case of narcolepsy, or some shit like that. She wasn't an expert on the subject, but she did know that sleeping disorders tended to make the effected person a bit off. So with the way Vegeta had been acting recently, she wouldn't rule narcolepsy out.
Trunks sat beside her reading a health magazine. She then wondered why hospitals couldn't have more decent things to read, like Cosmo, Seventeen, or YM. At least when you were waiting for a hair cut you could take a quiz and find out if you "Have a Mind of Your Own". She might also of had the luck to find something in the magazine that'd give her advice about her current relationship with the Saijin prince. Speaking of which, he kept rubbing his temple and muttering, "Mein Kopf ist kaputt...mein Kopf ist kaputt..mein Kopf ist kaputt..." She had to wonder when the Hell he picked that up.
A nurse opened a door and every face looked up. "Vegeta? Is there a Vegeta here?" she asked in a nasally voice.
The brunette stood and approached her, "That's me." Bulma unconsciously calmed when she heard him speaking English again.
"Right this way," she gestured, chewing her bubble gum loudly, not caring if the smacking irritated anyone. Bulma watched Vegeta disappear behind the door and she hoped that when he came out, he'd come back with, at least, some answers.
Vegeta was sat in a chair in the hallway as the nurse ran off to do an errand and "return shortly". He looked around, but all that adorned the walls were medical charts, and inspirational photographs. In other words, it was exceedingly dull. The nurse returned a few minutes later and directed the stoic prince to a small side room. "Stand here," she instructed, and he did so. The object which he stood on didn't have an exact firmness, but the movement wasn't even enough to make a human go off balance. Across the top were some numbers and slide rules. Kind of like an abacus, he thought. As the nurse fiddled around with whatever device he was on, he suddenly realized that he'd never stepped foot into a hospital - at least - he'd never made it past the waiting room. This was new territory for him.
"One hundred and twenty-five pounds and six ounces," the lady proclaimed, writing it down on a clipboard.
"What's that?" Vegeta asked, raising an eyebrow.
"How much you weigh," the nurse proclaimed.
"That can't be right! I weighed well over one hundred and forty 'pounds' on Vegeta!" the prince protested, giving her a very stubborn, very deadly, questionative look.
The middle-aged woman didn't seem phased, "Look, bud. I don't know where this 'Vegeta' is, but here on Earth you weigh one twenty-five and six extra, ok?"
The prince did the equivalent of pouting and folded his arms, "Very well." She leaned over and pulled something up from the device he was on. He blinked as he watched this bendable stick rise and then slowly descend.
"Look straight ahead, please, sir," the nurse demanded more than requested. Vegeta growled lightly but complied, feeling his hair depress as the metal..thing rested on top of him. "Five two and one fourth," the lady announced, putting the marked stick back. She wrote this down too.
"What's five two and one fourth?" he asked. She picked up an object and pressed it to his ear, a moment later it beeped and she murmured to herself and wrote down a figure. "What's five two and one fourth!?" he asked again, forcefully.
"It's how big you are," she replied nonchalantly as she wrote more things down on the form she had.
Vegeta blinked, then snarled, "I am not! That's so degrading for a Saijin! How could you say that!?"
The nurse threw him a look, "I'm telling you that's the way it is."
Vegeta shook his head and pointed his finger accusingly, "I think you're lying! I can prove it too!"
The lady actually put her pen down to pay attention to just him, "Try me." Summing up his courage, the prince quickly dropped his pants before standing up straight and puffing out his chest. The nurse stopped chewing her gum before she said, "Five feet, two and one fourth inches. That's how tall you are from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet."
Vegeta blushed and pulled up his clothes, muttering, "Oh."
"Your body temperature is a little below normal, mind if I take it again? It might've heated up from that stunt," the lady said with a crooked smile.
"Do what you will," Vegeta mocked, "You're the professional."
She pressed the instrument to his ear, waited for the beep, then proclaimed, "That can't be right."
Vegeta replied, "What?"
She cleared her throat, "Fifty eight degrees." She pressed again, waited again, and read again when the beep came, "That's more like it. Ninety seven point one. That's what it was before." She then began to ask him some questions: "Allergic to anything?"
"No."
"Ever had a serious illness?"
"No."
"Broken a bone?"
"Yes."
"Have or had a sexually transmitted disease?"
"No way! That's nasty! I'm not going to defile myself with these stupid human viruses!"
"Some of it's bacteria."
"I don't care! It's not going to...to effect..."
"Your bits and pieces?"
"My what?"
"Bits and pieces, you know..twig and berries. Your one-eyed monster."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"What planet are you from and what do they call it?"
"Call what!? And I'm from Vegeta, thank you very much."
"Your penis that isn't five two and one fourth. How could you not understand?"
"Why don't you just call it a penis!?"
"Buddy - this is America. I can call it your throbbing cock if I want to."
"I thought a cock was a chicken of some sort!?"
"You really are from another planet, aren't you?"
Vegeta was going to rant off that yes, he was from a different planet, and as a matter-of-fact, he was the prince of said planet, when the nurse abruptly walked around the corner leaving him to himself. He snapped him mouth shut in anger and folded his arms again. Her head suddenly poked out and she queried, "The doctor will see you now. Are you going to follow me, or what?" He opted to follow her, wishing to get out of the Hell-hole known as the hospital.
He was seated in a small room which had a bed-like thing, a sink, a cabinet, and two chairs. The doctor was fiddling with something at the sink so the nurse said, "Take a seat." He went for the chair and she shook her head. He raised an eyebrow and she pointed towards the bed..thing. He sat down and it made a loud crinkling noise. It annoyed him. After the nurse turned and left the doctor finished up. Vegeta peered at his blond hair that was slicked back.
"Hey-hey!" the doctor quipped, smiling at Vegeta from over his shoulder.
Vegeta was incredulous, "I know you!"
***
"What now?" Jeice asked as he braided Zarbon's hair.
Cell tapped his finger against his forearm as he spun around in an office chair he'd jacked, "We should find Little Bitch..who knows what kind of trouble he's in."
Burter lifted his head and exhaled slowly, a puff of smoke filling the air, "Here, here. I concur."
Zarbon looked at him oddly before it changed to an expression of disgust, "I told him not to talk to that 'Willy' character. 'Good price,' said the old man. 'Magic green herbs from Earth,' Burter said. 'Half off,' said the old man. Burter just had to have them. It smells too sweet to inhale, maybe you're supposed to chew it." Cell listened to them patiently as he picked up his carton of milk and sipped on it.
Guldo examined the twisted, almost cigarette, "I don't know.."
Zarbon cut in, "Oh come on, didn't you think that just maybe the old guy might've been so magically enhanced already that he had no idea what he was saying when he told Burter to light and inhale?" They watched their teammate as he laughed to himself, inhaling more. "Maybe it is magical," Zarbon muttered.
Suddenly, Cell leapt up, yelling incoherently as milk came out of his nose. "What the Hell!? What is it!?" Jeice shouted, trying his best to not get sprayed with milk. With drool dribbling down his chin, Cell pointed to his milk carton. They leaned over and read:
Have You Seen This Person?
Name: Kaioshin
Date of Birth: Unknown
Sex: Male
Height: 4' 11"
Weight: Unknown
Place of Birth: Unknown
Hair: White
Eyes: Black
Race: Supreme God
Individuals with information concerning this case should take no action themselves, but instead should immediately contact the nearest Office for the Non-Living or simply draw a door with chalk on a brick wall and knock three times.
Four distraught kais walked down the hallways of a very large mansion. "This. Is. Bullshit," declared the purple-skinned one.
"Oh, calm down," said the blue.
"It's not fair!" the other one snapped back. King Kai sighed and let his brother go on a rant, seeing his attempts were futile. "'You'll understand some day'!" mocked the West Kai; abruptly, he stomped his feet, shouting out for everyone to hear, "Yeah..SOMEDAY WHEN WE'RE INSANE!"
King Kai spun around and shouted back, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP!? WE HAVE BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT!!" His brother sputtered in disbelief, ready to pounce when the South and East kais grabbed a hold of each arm, restraining him.
"He's right," said the East, "We've got bigger problems, and fighting each other is just a waste of time. Let's go." The four of them left to make sense of the rapidly deteriorating universe. Things were not looking up.
***
Goku sat with Pikkon at a cafe, both of them sipping grande lattes. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?" the green-skinned partner asked again for the seventh time.
"I'm fine," Goku assured, "Really. In fact, I feel better than I have all day."
Pikkon sighed, gulping down the rest of his coffee, "You were acting really goofy, you know that?"
Goku shook his head, absentmindedly stirring his latte with a spoon, "I don't know..it's kinda fuzzy. Once those..snakes did whatever they did, everything felt so clear again. It was like a fog had been lifted over my mind."
Pikkon looked up, briefly wondering how well the gods were doing before he returned his attention to the Saijin in front of him, "What did they do to you?"
Goku shrugged and finished his drink in one down, "Said some incantations, that's all. Something about reawakening my powers? It doesn't really make sense. I don't feel any different."
Pikkon made a gesture, "Yea, but you certainly look a little different."
The black-haired man sighed as he examined his tail, "Maybe it restored me back to my original state of being that has the highest power level?"
Pikkon nodded in agreement, the conclusion sounding reasonable to him, "I'm sure that's it." Goku made a small noise that resembled a "hn". Pikkon raised an eyeridge at the tone of the sound - it was indecisive. "What is it?" his partner asked, watching Goku as the man watched his own tail loop around in the air.
"It's just that I thought if I grew my tail back it'd be its natural color," Goku commented dryly, "not white."
***
Bulma sat in the waiting room doing precisely what the title of the room suggested. However, when it came to how she was waiting, it was simply impatiently. Her boyfriend's eccentric behavior had finally taken its toll on her nerves. She figured Vegeta might be right, and he could be suffering from some chronic case of narcolepsy, or some shit like that. She wasn't an expert on the subject, but she did know that sleeping disorders tended to make the effected person a bit off. So with the way Vegeta had been acting recently, she wouldn't rule narcolepsy out.
Trunks sat beside her reading a health magazine. She then wondered why hospitals couldn't have more decent things to read, like Cosmo, Seventeen, or YM. At least when you were waiting for a hair cut you could take a quiz and find out if you "Have a Mind of Your Own". She might also of had the luck to find something in the magazine that'd give her advice about her current relationship with the Saijin prince. Speaking of which, he kept rubbing his temple and muttering, "Mein Kopf ist kaputt...mein Kopf ist kaputt..mein Kopf ist kaputt..." She had to wonder when the Hell he picked that up.
A nurse opened a door and every face looked up. "Vegeta? Is there a Vegeta here?" she asked in a nasally voice.
The brunette stood and approached her, "That's me." Bulma unconsciously calmed when she heard him speaking English again.
"Right this way," she gestured, chewing her bubble gum loudly, not caring if the smacking irritated anyone. Bulma watched Vegeta disappear behind the door and she hoped that when he came out, he'd come back with, at least, some answers.
Vegeta was sat in a chair in the hallway as the nurse ran off to do an errand and "return shortly". He looked around, but all that adorned the walls were medical charts, and inspirational photographs. In other words, it was exceedingly dull. The nurse returned a few minutes later and directed the stoic prince to a small side room. "Stand here," she instructed, and he did so. The object which he stood on didn't have an exact firmness, but the movement wasn't even enough to make a human go off balance. Across the top were some numbers and slide rules. Kind of like an abacus, he thought. As the nurse fiddled around with whatever device he was on, he suddenly realized that he'd never stepped foot into a hospital - at least - he'd never made it past the waiting room. This was new territory for him.
"One hundred and twenty-five pounds and six ounces," the lady proclaimed, writing it down on a clipboard.
"What's that?" Vegeta asked, raising an eyebrow.
"How much you weigh," the nurse proclaimed.
"That can't be right! I weighed well over one hundred and forty 'pounds' on Vegeta!" the prince protested, giving her a very stubborn, very deadly, questionative look.
The middle-aged woman didn't seem phased, "Look, bud. I don't know where this 'Vegeta' is, but here on Earth you weigh one twenty-five and six extra, ok?"
The prince did the equivalent of pouting and folded his arms, "Very well." She leaned over and pulled something up from the device he was on. He blinked as he watched this bendable stick rise and then slowly descend.
"Look straight ahead, please, sir," the nurse demanded more than requested. Vegeta growled lightly but complied, feeling his hair depress as the metal..thing rested on top of him. "Five two and one fourth," the lady announced, putting the marked stick back. She wrote this down too.
"What's five two and one fourth?" he asked. She picked up an object and pressed it to his ear, a moment later it beeped and she murmured to herself and wrote down a figure. "What's five two and one fourth!?" he asked again, forcefully.
"It's how big you are," she replied nonchalantly as she wrote more things down on the form she had.
Vegeta blinked, then snarled, "I am not! That's so degrading for a Saijin! How could you say that!?"
The nurse threw him a look, "I'm telling you that's the way it is."
Vegeta shook his head and pointed his finger accusingly, "I think you're lying! I can prove it too!"
The lady actually put her pen down to pay attention to just him, "Try me." Summing up his courage, the prince quickly dropped his pants before standing up straight and puffing out his chest. The nurse stopped chewing her gum before she said, "Five feet, two and one fourth inches. That's how tall you are from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet."
Vegeta blushed and pulled up his clothes, muttering, "Oh."
"Your body temperature is a little below normal, mind if I take it again? It might've heated up from that stunt," the lady said with a crooked smile.
"Do what you will," Vegeta mocked, "You're the professional."
She pressed the instrument to his ear, waited for the beep, then proclaimed, "That can't be right."
Vegeta replied, "What?"
She cleared her throat, "Fifty eight degrees." She pressed again, waited again, and read again when the beep came, "That's more like it. Ninety seven point one. That's what it was before." She then began to ask him some questions: "Allergic to anything?"
"No."
"Ever had a serious illness?"
"No."
"Broken a bone?"
"Yes."
"Have or had a sexually transmitted disease?"
"No way! That's nasty! I'm not going to defile myself with these stupid human viruses!"
"Some of it's bacteria."
"I don't care! It's not going to...to effect..."
"Your bits and pieces?"
"My what?"
"Bits and pieces, you know..twig and berries. Your one-eyed monster."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"What planet are you from and what do they call it?"
"Call what!? And I'm from Vegeta, thank you very much."
"Your penis that isn't five two and one fourth. How could you not understand?"
"Why don't you just call it a penis!?"
"Buddy - this is America. I can call it your throbbing cock if I want to."
"I thought a cock was a chicken of some sort!?"
"You really are from another planet, aren't you?"
Vegeta was going to rant off that yes, he was from a different planet, and as a matter-of-fact, he was the prince of said planet, when the nurse abruptly walked around the corner leaving him to himself. He snapped him mouth shut in anger and folded his arms again. Her head suddenly poked out and she queried, "The doctor will see you now. Are you going to follow me, or what?" He opted to follow her, wishing to get out of the Hell-hole known as the hospital.
He was seated in a small room which had a bed-like thing, a sink, a cabinet, and two chairs. The doctor was fiddling with something at the sink so the nurse said, "Take a seat." He went for the chair and she shook her head. He raised an eyebrow and she pointed towards the bed..thing. He sat down and it made a loud crinkling noise. It annoyed him. After the nurse turned and left the doctor finished up. Vegeta peered at his blond hair that was slicked back.
"Hey-hey!" the doctor quipped, smiling at Vegeta from over his shoulder.
Vegeta was incredulous, "I know you!"
***
"What now?" Jeice asked as he braided Zarbon's hair.
Cell tapped his finger against his forearm as he spun around in an office chair he'd jacked, "We should find Little Bitch..who knows what kind of trouble he's in."
Burter lifted his head and exhaled slowly, a puff of smoke filling the air, "Here, here. I concur."
Zarbon looked at him oddly before it changed to an expression of disgust, "I told him not to talk to that 'Willy' character. 'Good price,' said the old man. 'Magic green herbs from Earth,' Burter said. 'Half off,' said the old man. Burter just had to have them. It smells too sweet to inhale, maybe you're supposed to chew it." Cell listened to them patiently as he picked up his carton of milk and sipped on it.
Guldo examined the twisted, almost cigarette, "I don't know.."
Zarbon cut in, "Oh come on, didn't you think that just maybe the old guy might've been so magically enhanced already that he had no idea what he was saying when he told Burter to light and inhale?" They watched their teammate as he laughed to himself, inhaling more. "Maybe it is magical," Zarbon muttered.
Suddenly, Cell leapt up, yelling incoherently as milk came out of his nose. "What the Hell!? What is it!?" Jeice shouted, trying his best to not get sprayed with milk. With drool dribbling down his chin, Cell pointed to his milk carton. They leaned over and read:
Name: Kaioshin
Date of Birth: Unknown
Sex: Male
Height: 4' 11"
Weight: Unknown
Place of Birth: Unknown
Hair: White
Eyes: Black
Race: Supreme God
Individuals with information concerning this case should take no action themselves, but instead should immediately contact the nearest Office for the Non-Living or simply draw a door with chalk on a brick wall and knock three times.
