X: Vegeta's Third Mood Swing
"Hey-hey!" the doctor beamed, grinning from ear to ear, "I know you, too! Mr. Customer, right-o!"
Vegeta blinked as the events finally settled into his brain, "Wait just a sec...you were poorer than a rock a few days ago! Why are you a doctor now!?"
The squirrelly guy shhed him, "Hey, quiet down! Truth is..I'm not really a doctor. The good news is that I've been to the doctor's enough that I know exactly what to do."
Vegeta interjected, clenching his hands into fists, "But you don't even know what I'm coming in to be treated for! You'd have no idea how to treat me even if you were able to examine me properly!"
The blond shook his head, ignoring Vegeta's lack of faith in him, "It's not hard at all, and the best part is that when I finally do start to convulse because of failure in a vital organ, they'll be sure to give me an operation!" Putting a stethoscope in his ears, the man requested, "Okay, I'm going to want you to breathe deeply."
Vegeta glanced at the name tag he bore and said, "So is your name really Edmond or is that just the name of the guy you most likely killed?"
The cold instrument was pressed against the Saijin's chest, "No, I didn't kill him; and yes, my name is Edmond. Now breathe deeply, please, my patient."
Vegeta furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Isn't Edmond a first name?"
The blond muttered something, then spoke louder, "Yeah, that's my first name. Now what am I--OH! That's right...Please take off your shirt." Vegeta pulled back and made an assessment before hesitantly pulling off his shirt. The stethoscope was placed against his chest again. "Now breathe deeply," Edmond instructed gain, listening carefully. Vegeta complied and wondered what the quack was going to tell him. "Sounds good," Edmond commented, pulling back and removing the instrument from his ears. He reached into his front pocket and pulled out a stick. "Open up," the doctor said, and the prince did so. "Say 'ah'," said Edmond. Vegeta growled loudly. "Not THAT'S creepy," Edmond commented, then asked, "How can you do that? You sound like a rabid dog."
Vegeta glared fixedly at the blond, then he finally said, "Ah."
Ed threw away the little wooden stick and announced, "Time to test your reflexes!" Vegeta put his shirt back on and crossed his arms. The doctor extracted an odd device from the cabinet and then proceeded to whack Vegeta in the knee. "Uh...do you feel that??" Edmond asked in astonishment as he smashed the little hammer against Vegeta.
"What? You want me to respond?" the prince replied, watching Ed try his best to, as it seemed, cause him pain, or at least discomfort.
"Yes! This is a test of your reflexes! So far I've been able to come to the conclusion that you either have an extremely delayed response time or you don't even feel this at all!" the doctor informed, stopping his barrage of attacks to take a breather.
"Hit me again," Vegeta said calmly.
"What?" Edmond blinked in surprise.
"Sure, go for it, I promise I'll give you my first reflex," the brunette said with sincerity. Edmond shrugged and readied his weapon. He brought it down and, the fraction of a second it touched the prince's skin, the doctor found himself writhing in pain.
Gasping for the air that had been knocked out of him, Ed crumpled to the ground, "What...HEEEEEEEH....the....HEEHHEEHHEEEEEH....HELL!?"
Vegeta laughed at the weakling on the floor, "I told you I'd give you my first reflex, that just happened to be my fist deciding that it wanted to ram itself into your stomach."
After a few minutes of enduring the pain, the doctor shakily got to his feet, "Okay...didn't see you move....good..reflex. Let's read the eye chart?" They went into the hall and Vegeta stood behind a line and was given an object to cover one eye. "Please read from top to bottom," Ed wheezed, then mumbled something about pissing blood.
Vegeta kept his one eye covered:
"I.
A - M.
W - A - T.
C - H - I -N.
G - Y - O - U - A.
N - D - Y - O - U - W.
I - L - L - N - O - T - E.
S - C - A - P - E - M - E.
Copyright 779, Seth."
Edmond raised an eyebrow, thinking it was a joke, "The other eye?"
Vegeta switched, blinked, then slowly read:
"E.
F - P.
T - O - Z.
L - P - E - D.
P - E - C - F - D.
E - D - F - C - Z - P.
F - E - L - O - P - E - D.
D - E - F - P - O - T - E - C.
Copyright 712, National Association for Healthcare and Fitness. Made in China."
Edmond whistled and went to double check his answers. "Hot damn," the human said with a grin, "That's perfect, down to the date and all."
Vegeta smirked as they went back into the small examination room, "Of course. I ate lots of carrots when I was small."
Edmond let him sit in the chair, "We have one last thing to do." Vegeta shrugged - after everything else, one more thing wouldn't be so terribly bad. Having this nutball as a doctor was actually a better experience for him considering all the humor involved. All the doctors on television were too stuffy, but Vegeta almost didn't mind having Edmond as his physical health advisor. Of course he knew the man was full of shit and he'd have to go to a different doctor, but why ruin a nice afternoon? Suddenly Edmond grasped onto Vegeta's crotch, making the prince's eyes go very, very wide. "Now turn your head and cough," Edmond said.
"WHAT!? GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU..YOU...!!" Vegeta seemingly got so frustrated that is brain decided to stop working properly until he managed to fix the problem that had been presented.
"No, really. Turn your head and cough," Edmond repeated, looking more serious now than he'd ever before, which wasn't tough to beat. Vegeta, now the color of a very red lobster, turned his head and coughed. Edmond let him go.
Sputtering in rage, the prince was finally able to think, and therefore, scream, "What the fuck was that for!? You better tell me, or so help me..I will kill you!!"
Edmond shrugged as he explained, "Actually, I have no clue. It's just one of those unexplained things."
Vegeta shook his head in disbelief, "Doesn't it tell you something??"
Edmond scratched his head as he picked up his clipboard, "Uh...sure. You figure that out, I'll be right back." And then, Vegeta was left alone.
'Maybe it's to check how well things are functioning...down there,' Vegeta thought to himself, glancing around as if to confirm he was alone. With a large breath, Vegeta reached down his pants and began testing his reactions. Confused, Vegeta kept groping around, 'Everything seems ok, so why do they grab at your testicles?' Extracting his hand and sighing with frustration, Vegeta declared, "Humans are so very strange."
Edmond returned with a grin in place, "Ahh...so you think you have narcolepsy, huh? That's what they said you were in here for." Vegeta merely nodded. The blond handed him a sucker, "Well, you didn't fall asleep on me. Good boy, you're free to go."
Vegeta sulked, 'I knew it. I just knew he wasn't going to help me, the stupid quack.'
***
Goku and Pikkon were walking through a mass of drunken, and overall, crazy people. The two of them each held a tall mocha cappuccino. "Hey!" Goku said abruptly, stopping in surprise.
"What is it? Do you see someone??" Pikkon said, looking everywhere but at Goku who was staring at his hand.
"No," the black-haired Saijin said, tilting his head to the side, "I don't drink coffee.."
Pikkon sighed in disappointment. They were never going to find anyone in the Hell Gang at this rate, "Goku, it's to help you stay awake."
The younger man blinked, "Ooooh. Okay." He downed the entire drink in three seconds flat, then proclaimed, "HOT."
"Oh, it's you two," a familiar voice shouted out over the music and cheering.
Pikkon spun around and was met face to face (or more like face to abdomen, or is it abdomen to face? oh who cares..) with a white-skinned alien, "FREIZA!"
The iceling was minding his own business whilst dancing and wearing Hawaiian clothes, "That's my name, don't wear it out."
Goku spun around rapidly at the name of his old enemy, "Freiza? Where!?" Pikkon watched Goku spin and realized that he looked much like a dog chasing his tail. To help him out, the green-skinned man grabbed his shirt, held him still, and pointed. "Freiza!" Goku gasped, his tail bristling, "What are you doing here!?"
The old tyrant gestured around him, "Enjoying the sights of Earth. It would've been a mistake to blow up such a fine planet. They give you free flower necklaces! Get this! They call it a 'lay'-"
Pikkon interrupted his explanation as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs from under his hat, "You're BUSTED, Freiza!"
The alien ignored him as it appeared he had caught Goku's attention, "-that way when you put it on someone, you can say 'you just got laid'! If that isn't high quality shit, especially from a backwater planet, I don't know what is. But believe-you-me, I know. I used to do planet buying, selling, and trading. It was a hobby of mine when I was alive, you know."
Goku nodded, his tail swaying happily as if he wasn't in danger, and in all honesty, he wasn't, "That was your hobby? I didn't know that. Then what was your job?"
Freiza tossed his head back and laughed, "Job!? Are you kidding? Monkey boy, back in my day I had so much power I didn't need a job. All I had was hobbies. My favorite was killing people."
Goku frowned curtly at that, "That's mean."
Pikkon smacked his hand against his forehead, "That's really great that you two know each other and all, but I'm really going to have to return Freiza to the after-life now."
Freiza stepped away from Pikkon and moved closer to Goku, dancing the entire time, "Hey monkey, do you know how boring Hell is?" Goku shook his head, and Freiza had expected this reaction even though it was a rhetorical question. "No one fights," Freiza said bluntly.
Goku gasped again, this time in horror and disbelief, "NO WAY!"
The prince (you have to assume this because, let's face it, his dad was KING KOLD for fuck's sake) nodded affirmative, "It's so boring. Here, on Earth, there's so much to do. Drugs to try...places to go...people to screw...I'd never tire of it. See all these crazy weaklings?"
As if pre-staged, a male streaker ran by them screaming, "SAVE THE LIZARD!!!"
Freiza jerked his thumb in the maniac's direction, "See guys like him?"
A man with brown hair and grey skin followed, he yelled, "BLOODY HELL! YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DIE, SO HOLD STILL SO I CAN BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT!"
"See..guys like them, I don't have the urge to kill," Freiza explained, sounding rather proud of himself, "This whole planet is like that. After-life occurring outside the after-life is all about finding out how much more smashed you can become than the day before. Regular after-life is playing un-strip poker, arm wrestling, and counting the blades of grass. After awhile, you name them. After that you start making personalities. When they actually start conversing, you know you have to have a vacation. That's all I want - my vacation. So you wouldn't send me back to Hell, would you?"
Pikkon looked at him like "I can't believe you just said that you stupid piece of shit, how naive do I look? of course I'm going to throw your lame ass back into Hell, you obviously deserved it if you went there in the first place, and I'm not going to let you go just because you think you're redeemed, because it's not up to you whether you're better or not, and other than that, Hell is eternal, so you stay there forever, this isn't like a jail sentence, buckoo, you're stuck, and that's it - no ifs ands or buts". Goku looked at Pikkon with sad eyes, and the elder prepared his "No" speech as well as his "I said no and I mean no" speech.
But the Saijin stood up so he was no longer eye level with the iceling, then promptly said, "Yes."
Freiza stopped dancing, "You'd send me back?"
Goku wagged a disapproving finger at him, "You've been a bad boy, Freiza. Tsk, tsk. I think you need some time out, it'll be good for you." Freiza stared at them and Pikkon readied his cuffs.
"Oh my GOD!" the albino suddenly shouted before pointing behind them, "IT'S CELL IN A HULA SKIRT!" Being the charitable pair of holy men that'd go on a crusade if a youth minister from a local church group jokingly made the suggestion (meaning: they can be easily duped), they turned and looked. When they went to complain about no Cell being present, they found their escapee missing.
"Damn that coffee!" Goku cursed, shaking his fist.
***
Bulma's cell phone rang and after she answered it, she regretted it. "Hello?" Bulma had said in a neutral tone.
In reply was a scream, "GOKU'S BACK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" Oh yay, a distressed wife was going to vent all her negative feelings onto a brilliant scientist who was trying to assess what was wrong with her psychotic, homicidal boyfriend.
She did NOT need this right now, "Well, Chi-chi, it's probably because there's been so much shit happening in my life right now, with Vegeta nearly killing innocent bystanders, being ogled over by the same guys who've wanted to destroy Earth, a ninja breaking into my hotel room, and my son reading Karma Sutra, that I just haven't had the time to stop, think 'Oh, Goku's back!' and call you up!!"
The other lady protested, "But PICCOLO told me!"
The blue-haired genius sighed, "That's nice, Chi-chi, but it's NOT the end of the world. Speaking of which, I think your priorities need to get straightened out. You know why Goku probably stayed in the after-life? He probably couldn't stand your controlling attitude. Hon, if you haven't noticed, he's a free spirit. You can't control these Saijins, so just ACCEPT REALITY ALREADY!" Vegeta stepped out of the door and into the waiting room, the nurse giving him a thumbs up. "Sorry Chi-chi, but Vegeta's here now. I'll call you back," Bulma said before promptly hanging up. Vegeta walked toward his family, the end of a sucker sticking out of the corner of his mouth.
He extracted the candy and stated, "I don't think it's narcolepsy."
As Vegeta continued eating his free food, Trunks finally decided to attempt to speak to his father, "Then what happened yesterday, dad?"
"Hmm?" Vegeta asked, raising an eyebrow, "Oh, that. Don't worry about it."
Bulma stood up and angrily slung her purse onto her shoulder, "DON'T WORRY!? You were going to kill a pregnant woman!"
Vegeta placed his hand against his chest, "Moi? Oh no, no, no, Bulma. You're mistaken. I wouldn't of killed her. Nah. No sport in that. Besides, she wasn't a bad person, you know." He clasped an arm around Trunks' shoulder, "So where're we going today?"
Bulma trailed behind the two males, "Wait! I have to call Chi-chi back. I wasn't very nice to her when she called asking about Goku."
They got into the elevator and Vegeta pushed the button for the Lobby Level, "She only wants to see her husband, that's natural. So who'd she hear the news from?"
Bulma took out her cell phone, "Piccolo."
Vegeta chuckled, "Poor onna. Sounds like she could use a shopping spree."
Bulma paused from dialing in the number, "Poor what?"
Vegeta rolled his eyes, "Onna. You know, onna. It's Japanese. Christ, don't tell me you don't know your own planet's languages!"
Bulma rolled her eyes, "I'm glad you're an expert in foreign languages."
"Linguist," Vegeta corrected before casually mentioning, "I've had years of practice."
"Hey-hey!" the doctor beamed, grinning from ear to ear, "I know you, too! Mr. Customer, right-o!"
Vegeta blinked as the events finally settled into his brain, "Wait just a sec...you were poorer than a rock a few days ago! Why are you a doctor now!?"
The squirrelly guy shhed him, "Hey, quiet down! Truth is..I'm not really a doctor. The good news is that I've been to the doctor's enough that I know exactly what to do."
Vegeta interjected, clenching his hands into fists, "But you don't even know what I'm coming in to be treated for! You'd have no idea how to treat me even if you were able to examine me properly!"
The blond shook his head, ignoring Vegeta's lack of faith in him, "It's not hard at all, and the best part is that when I finally do start to convulse because of failure in a vital organ, they'll be sure to give me an operation!" Putting a stethoscope in his ears, the man requested, "Okay, I'm going to want you to breathe deeply."
Vegeta glanced at the name tag he bore and said, "So is your name really Edmond or is that just the name of the guy you most likely killed?"
The cold instrument was pressed against the Saijin's chest, "No, I didn't kill him; and yes, my name is Edmond. Now breathe deeply, please, my patient."
Vegeta furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Isn't Edmond a first name?"
The blond muttered something, then spoke louder, "Yeah, that's my first name. Now what am I--OH! That's right...Please take off your shirt." Vegeta pulled back and made an assessment before hesitantly pulling off his shirt. The stethoscope was placed against his chest again. "Now breathe deeply," Edmond instructed gain, listening carefully. Vegeta complied and wondered what the quack was going to tell him. "Sounds good," Edmond commented, pulling back and removing the instrument from his ears. He reached into his front pocket and pulled out a stick. "Open up," the doctor said, and the prince did so. "Say 'ah'," said Edmond. Vegeta growled loudly. "Not THAT'S creepy," Edmond commented, then asked, "How can you do that? You sound like a rabid dog."
Vegeta glared fixedly at the blond, then he finally said, "Ah."
Ed threw away the little wooden stick and announced, "Time to test your reflexes!" Vegeta put his shirt back on and crossed his arms. The doctor extracted an odd device from the cabinet and then proceeded to whack Vegeta in the knee. "Uh...do you feel that??" Edmond asked in astonishment as he smashed the little hammer against Vegeta.
"What? You want me to respond?" the prince replied, watching Ed try his best to, as it seemed, cause him pain, or at least discomfort.
"Yes! This is a test of your reflexes! So far I've been able to come to the conclusion that you either have an extremely delayed response time or you don't even feel this at all!" the doctor informed, stopping his barrage of attacks to take a breather.
"Hit me again," Vegeta said calmly.
"What?" Edmond blinked in surprise.
"Sure, go for it, I promise I'll give you my first reflex," the brunette said with sincerity. Edmond shrugged and readied his weapon. He brought it down and, the fraction of a second it touched the prince's skin, the doctor found himself writhing in pain.
Gasping for the air that had been knocked out of him, Ed crumpled to the ground, "What...HEEEEEEEH....the....HEEHHEEHHEEEEEH....HELL!?"
Vegeta laughed at the weakling on the floor, "I told you I'd give you my first reflex, that just happened to be my fist deciding that it wanted to ram itself into your stomach."
After a few minutes of enduring the pain, the doctor shakily got to his feet, "Okay...didn't see you move....good..reflex. Let's read the eye chart?" They went into the hall and Vegeta stood behind a line and was given an object to cover one eye. "Please read from top to bottom," Ed wheezed, then mumbled something about pissing blood.
Vegeta kept his one eye covered:
"I.
A - M.
W - A - T.
C - H - I -N.
G - Y - O - U - A.
N - D - Y - O - U - W.
I - L - L - N - O - T - E.
S - C - A - P - E - M - E.
Copyright 779, Seth."
Edmond raised an eyebrow, thinking it was a joke, "The other eye?"
Vegeta switched, blinked, then slowly read:
"E.
F - P.
T - O - Z.
L - P - E - D.
P - E - C - F - D.
E - D - F - C - Z - P.
F - E - L - O - P - E - D.
D - E - F - P - O - T - E - C.
Copyright 712, National Association for Healthcare and Fitness. Made in China."
Edmond whistled and went to double check his answers. "Hot damn," the human said with a grin, "That's perfect, down to the date and all."
Vegeta smirked as they went back into the small examination room, "Of course. I ate lots of carrots when I was small."
Edmond let him sit in the chair, "We have one last thing to do." Vegeta shrugged - after everything else, one more thing wouldn't be so terribly bad. Having this nutball as a doctor was actually a better experience for him considering all the humor involved. All the doctors on television were too stuffy, but Vegeta almost didn't mind having Edmond as his physical health advisor. Of course he knew the man was full of shit and he'd have to go to a different doctor, but why ruin a nice afternoon? Suddenly Edmond grasped onto Vegeta's crotch, making the prince's eyes go very, very wide. "Now turn your head and cough," Edmond said.
"WHAT!? GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU..YOU...!!" Vegeta seemingly got so frustrated that is brain decided to stop working properly until he managed to fix the problem that had been presented.
"No, really. Turn your head and cough," Edmond repeated, looking more serious now than he'd ever before, which wasn't tough to beat. Vegeta, now the color of a very red lobster, turned his head and coughed. Edmond let him go.
Sputtering in rage, the prince was finally able to think, and therefore, scream, "What the fuck was that for!? You better tell me, or so help me..I will kill you!!"
Edmond shrugged as he explained, "Actually, I have no clue. It's just one of those unexplained things."
Vegeta shook his head in disbelief, "Doesn't it tell you something??"
Edmond scratched his head as he picked up his clipboard, "Uh...sure. You figure that out, I'll be right back." And then, Vegeta was left alone.
'Maybe it's to check how well things are functioning...down there,' Vegeta thought to himself, glancing around as if to confirm he was alone. With a large breath, Vegeta reached down his pants and began testing his reactions. Confused, Vegeta kept groping around, 'Everything seems ok, so why do they grab at your testicles?' Extracting his hand and sighing with frustration, Vegeta declared, "Humans are so very strange."
Edmond returned with a grin in place, "Ahh...so you think you have narcolepsy, huh? That's what they said you were in here for." Vegeta merely nodded. The blond handed him a sucker, "Well, you didn't fall asleep on me. Good boy, you're free to go."
Vegeta sulked, 'I knew it. I just knew he wasn't going to help me, the stupid quack.'
***
Goku and Pikkon were walking through a mass of drunken, and overall, crazy people. The two of them each held a tall mocha cappuccino. "Hey!" Goku said abruptly, stopping in surprise.
"What is it? Do you see someone??" Pikkon said, looking everywhere but at Goku who was staring at his hand.
"No," the black-haired Saijin said, tilting his head to the side, "I don't drink coffee.."
Pikkon sighed in disappointment. They were never going to find anyone in the Hell Gang at this rate, "Goku, it's to help you stay awake."
The younger man blinked, "Ooooh. Okay." He downed the entire drink in three seconds flat, then proclaimed, "HOT."
"Oh, it's you two," a familiar voice shouted out over the music and cheering.
Pikkon spun around and was met face to face (or more like face to abdomen, or is it abdomen to face? oh who cares..) with a white-skinned alien, "FREIZA!"
The iceling was minding his own business whilst dancing and wearing Hawaiian clothes, "That's my name, don't wear it out."
Goku spun around rapidly at the name of his old enemy, "Freiza? Where!?" Pikkon watched Goku spin and realized that he looked much like a dog chasing his tail. To help him out, the green-skinned man grabbed his shirt, held him still, and pointed. "Freiza!" Goku gasped, his tail bristling, "What are you doing here!?"
The old tyrant gestured around him, "Enjoying the sights of Earth. It would've been a mistake to blow up such a fine planet. They give you free flower necklaces! Get this! They call it a 'lay'-"
Pikkon interrupted his explanation as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs from under his hat, "You're BUSTED, Freiza!"
The alien ignored him as it appeared he had caught Goku's attention, "-that way when you put it on someone, you can say 'you just got laid'! If that isn't high quality shit, especially from a backwater planet, I don't know what is. But believe-you-me, I know. I used to do planet buying, selling, and trading. It was a hobby of mine when I was alive, you know."
Goku nodded, his tail swaying happily as if he wasn't in danger, and in all honesty, he wasn't, "That was your hobby? I didn't know that. Then what was your job?"
Freiza tossed his head back and laughed, "Job!? Are you kidding? Monkey boy, back in my day I had so much power I didn't need a job. All I had was hobbies. My favorite was killing people."
Goku frowned curtly at that, "That's mean."
Pikkon smacked his hand against his forehead, "That's really great that you two know each other and all, but I'm really going to have to return Freiza to the after-life now."
Freiza stepped away from Pikkon and moved closer to Goku, dancing the entire time, "Hey monkey, do you know how boring Hell is?" Goku shook his head, and Freiza had expected this reaction even though it was a rhetorical question. "No one fights," Freiza said bluntly.
Goku gasped again, this time in horror and disbelief, "NO WAY!"
The prince (you have to assume this because, let's face it, his dad was KING KOLD for fuck's sake) nodded affirmative, "It's so boring. Here, on Earth, there's so much to do. Drugs to try...places to go...people to screw...I'd never tire of it. See all these crazy weaklings?"
As if pre-staged, a male streaker ran by them screaming, "SAVE THE LIZARD!!!"
Freiza jerked his thumb in the maniac's direction, "See guys like him?"
A man with brown hair and grey skin followed, he yelled, "BLOODY HELL! YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DIE, SO HOLD STILL SO I CAN BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT!"
"See..guys like them, I don't have the urge to kill," Freiza explained, sounding rather proud of himself, "This whole planet is like that. After-life occurring outside the after-life is all about finding out how much more smashed you can become than the day before. Regular after-life is playing un-strip poker, arm wrestling, and counting the blades of grass. After awhile, you name them. After that you start making personalities. When they actually start conversing, you know you have to have a vacation. That's all I want - my vacation. So you wouldn't send me back to Hell, would you?"
Pikkon looked at him like "I can't believe you just said that you stupid piece of shit, how naive do I look? of course I'm going to throw your lame ass back into Hell, you obviously deserved it if you went there in the first place, and I'm not going to let you go just because you think you're redeemed, because it's not up to you whether you're better or not, and other than that, Hell is eternal, so you stay there forever, this isn't like a jail sentence, buckoo, you're stuck, and that's it - no ifs ands or buts". Goku looked at Pikkon with sad eyes, and the elder prepared his "No" speech as well as his "I said no and I mean no" speech.
But the Saijin stood up so he was no longer eye level with the iceling, then promptly said, "Yes."
Freiza stopped dancing, "You'd send me back?"
Goku wagged a disapproving finger at him, "You've been a bad boy, Freiza. Tsk, tsk. I think you need some time out, it'll be good for you." Freiza stared at them and Pikkon readied his cuffs.
"Oh my GOD!" the albino suddenly shouted before pointing behind them, "IT'S CELL IN A HULA SKIRT!" Being the charitable pair of holy men that'd go on a crusade if a youth minister from a local church group jokingly made the suggestion (meaning: they can be easily duped), they turned and looked. When they went to complain about no Cell being present, they found their escapee missing.
"Damn that coffee!" Goku cursed, shaking his fist.
***
Bulma's cell phone rang and after she answered it, she regretted it. "Hello?" Bulma had said in a neutral tone.
In reply was a scream, "GOKU'S BACK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" Oh yay, a distressed wife was going to vent all her negative feelings onto a brilliant scientist who was trying to assess what was wrong with her psychotic, homicidal boyfriend.
She did NOT need this right now, "Well, Chi-chi, it's probably because there's been so much shit happening in my life right now, with Vegeta nearly killing innocent bystanders, being ogled over by the same guys who've wanted to destroy Earth, a ninja breaking into my hotel room, and my son reading Karma Sutra, that I just haven't had the time to stop, think 'Oh, Goku's back!' and call you up!!"
The other lady protested, "But PICCOLO told me!"
The blue-haired genius sighed, "That's nice, Chi-chi, but it's NOT the end of the world. Speaking of which, I think your priorities need to get straightened out. You know why Goku probably stayed in the after-life? He probably couldn't stand your controlling attitude. Hon, if you haven't noticed, he's a free spirit. You can't control these Saijins, so just ACCEPT REALITY ALREADY!" Vegeta stepped out of the door and into the waiting room, the nurse giving him a thumbs up. "Sorry Chi-chi, but Vegeta's here now. I'll call you back," Bulma said before promptly hanging up. Vegeta walked toward his family, the end of a sucker sticking out of the corner of his mouth.
He extracted the candy and stated, "I don't think it's narcolepsy."
As Vegeta continued eating his free food, Trunks finally decided to attempt to speak to his father, "Then what happened yesterday, dad?"
"Hmm?" Vegeta asked, raising an eyebrow, "Oh, that. Don't worry about it."
Bulma stood up and angrily slung her purse onto her shoulder, "DON'T WORRY!? You were going to kill a pregnant woman!"
Vegeta placed his hand against his chest, "Moi? Oh no, no, no, Bulma. You're mistaken. I wouldn't of killed her. Nah. No sport in that. Besides, she wasn't a bad person, you know." He clasped an arm around Trunks' shoulder, "So where're we going today?"
Bulma trailed behind the two males, "Wait! I have to call Chi-chi back. I wasn't very nice to her when she called asking about Goku."
They got into the elevator and Vegeta pushed the button for the Lobby Level, "She only wants to see her husband, that's natural. So who'd she hear the news from?"
Bulma took out her cell phone, "Piccolo."
Vegeta chuckled, "Poor onna. Sounds like she could use a shopping spree."
Bulma paused from dialing in the number, "Poor what?"
Vegeta rolled his eyes, "Onna. You know, onna. It's Japanese. Christ, don't tell me you don't know your own planet's languages!"
Bulma rolled her eyes, "I'm glad you're an expert in foreign languages."
"Linguist," Vegeta corrected before casually mentioning, "I've had years of practice."
