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Chapter Four…

"Willow? Please go out with me?? I mean you don't have to….but…I" Shaggy looked at his feet.

"Shaggy," Willow said gently, "I…I…like girls.

Shaggy looked confused. "So do I."

"No, I mean, I only like girls."

"Huh?" Shaggy scratched his head.

"I'm a LESbian."

"What's a lesbian?"

Elsewhere….

"So…um….Daphne…..now that we're alone….you wanna…" Xander was nervously shuffling his feet when BAM! POW! KABLOOIE!!!!!!! A giant demon jumped out from behind a giant mirror and hit Xander…knocking him into Daphne.

"Thank my lucky stars…" Xander gasped as he grabbed onto Daphne in order to keep from falling.

"Now, now, whoever you are," Daphne wagged a finger at the demon, "Ugly demons aren't real! Now, whoever you are, stop haunting this house!"

The demon laughed and blew fire at her. "Oh! Oh! My beautiful gorgeous red shiny hair is on fire!" Daphne ran around in circles trying to put her hair out.

"Don't worry Daphne, I'll save you!" Xander shouted in an extremely deep heroic voice as he ran at the demon. The demon blew more fire. Xander jumped back, let out a yelp, and ran down the stairs, with a bald screaming Daphne behind him.

"So, Buffy, now that we've finished this room, let's get to know each other better." Fred flashed a big toothy grin at Buffy.

"As if!! I don't like blondes, well, actually, I do, but not YOU!"

Just then, Xander came flying down the stairs, closely followed by a screaming Daphne. Xander threw himself behind Buffy, just when the demon hit Buffy with a scaley fist.

"We found the bad guy!! We found the bad guy!!" Daphne screamed, jumping up and down holding her head.

"Thanks for the info…." Buffy burst out laughing when she saw the state of Daphne. "BALDY BALDY!! Wait, sorry that was childish of me."

"Buffy look out!" Buffy ducked as the demon swung again and had started to kick his particularly large and scaly butt, when the demon landed another punch, sending Buffy flying into the wall.

"No, Buffy, I will save you!! Fred shouted in the same kind of voice Xander had used earlier. Fred charged the demon. Buffy and Xander closed their eyes and winced at the sound of Fred flying into a different wall.

"Idiot…." Buffy muttered.

Meanwhile….

Spike and Velma were checking one of second floor rooms. Ok, more like Spike was checking the room and Velma was checking Spike's butt as he bent to look under one of the beds.

"All right then, nothing in here." Spike straightened up, much to the dismay of Velma.

"Are you sure? Maybe you wanna check again? You know, to make sure it's safe and all."

Spike rolled his eyes and strode out of the room, with Velma at his heels rambling about something stupid.

(I am going to KILL you Buffy!!!) He thought. Then, in the hallway, he saw the demon hit Fred into a wall. He smothered a laugh and jumped on the demon's back while Buffy assaulted him from the front.

In several minutes, the demon was lying on the ground.

"You know…that was really easy for him being a demon set to conquer the world."

"I know what you mean," Spike said. "Hey, Captain America is awake!"

Fred dizzily got onto his feet and walked over to the demon.

"Ok guys, I'm taking bets." He said with a hand on the demon's head.

"Oh, I know, it's the caretaker, Mr. Jones." Velma said.

"No way, it's the former owner, Mrs. Crabtree." Daphne argued.

"And I think it's Red Herring. (remember pup named Scooby doo?) Fred pulled at the head. It didn't come off. He pulled harder, grunting.

"It's not coming off. This is a really good mask."

"You moron," Buffy said walking over, "That's because it's…."

The demon awoke and jumped to his feet, knocking poor Fred down the stairs and then disappeared.

"Great going, you stupid gits!" Spike said as he joined Buffy. "We could 'ave had him!"

"Now we have to start all over!" Buffy finished. "XANDER!" Xander was comforting the poor bald girl. "Ok, now let's do this right! The Scooby Doo Dectective whatever…"

"It's the SCOOBY DOO DECTIVE AGENCY!!!" Velma corrected her.

"Why thank you!" Buffy said a little too nicely. "The SCOOBY DOO DECTECTIVE AGENCY stay right here. DON'T even think about moving. Spike and I will go find the demon, ok?"

"What do you mean, it's real?" Fred said as he came back up the stairs.

"What'd you think…it was a costume?" Buffy said sarcastically.

Fred remained silent.

"Oh my dear lord…you did."



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