Title: A Hunger For Perfection-Chapter 8.
Author: Carly.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone involved in this story.
"This is stupid. I'm fine. Besides, I have nothing to prove to you. Especially you Vince," Amy screamed, looking at her boss who immediately knew what she was talking about.
"Look, I haven't got time for this. You are all dismissed for now," he lied to escape the truth from being told. Matt and Jeff complied his instructions and left, completely confused about what had just happened within the last minute. Amy had already gone and was now nowhere to be seen but their guess was either at the gym or jogging back to the hotel, some form of exercise at least. The two Hardy brothers decided to go and look for her to find out what was going on. But after half an hour, they still hadn't seen her so retreated back to their locker room. They needed to collect their things together before driving to their next destination for Smackdown tapings. As they were walking through the halls of the arena, fans approached them, thrusting all sorts of things in their faces to sign.
One thing that caught Matt's eye was a photo of all three of them, six months ago when everything was normal. Now everything was messed up, especially with Amy. He signed the photo for the little boy before continuing walking to the car. When they reached Jeff's Corvette, they dumped their things in the back before getting in and decided to return to the hotel, in case Amy was there. Matt was about to change the radio stations but the chorus of a certain song caught his ears.
The girl's going out of her head
She's going crazy
Girl's going out of her head
She don't want to stop.
As the song finished it, the radio host announced it as "Girl's Going Out Of Her Head" by Thunder. It reminded him of the fact that Amy seemed to be going insane; she had gotten utterly obsessed with her weight and exercising, and she couldn't seem to stop starving herself. Amy also had the same thoughts while listening to those four lines of the radio in the hotel room. She was lying on her bed, thinking about the situation. She really did want to get better but something inside was stopping her. Maybe it was satisfaction she had when she discovered she'd lost more weight, the way people often complimented her but at the same time, they didn't know how bad she was…except for Matt and Jeff. Despite the fact that she did want things to return to normal, when they offered her the hospitality, she wouldn't accept it. Instead, she'd yell and shout at them.
Someone vigorously knocked on the door. Grunting, Amy got up and answered it. Matt and Jeff stood in the hallway, both holding a bottle of water. She invited them and watched as they sat on the edge of her bed. As they did so, Matt saw something that caught his eye, sticking out of her bag. She had gone into the bathroom for a minute so he pulled the object out. A book on how many calories certain food had. Sighing, he shoved it back just as she returned. Jeff looked at his older brother and shrugged.
"Ames, are you ready to go?" he asked with sadness.
"Umm yeah. Why do you sound so upset?"
"I just…umm, nothing. Forget it." He knew he should just drop the subject for now. They had a three-hour drive and there would only be masses of tension between them all as it was guaranteed she'd only start screaming at them if he mentioned it. So in silence, they made their way to the parking lot. It was already eleven thirty so decided to take it in turns to drive in order to let the others sleep. But Amy was so tempted to eat when they pulled into a drive-thru. She was called into a ball and the music of the radio drowned out the sound of her rumbling stomach. Closing her eyes, she wished for it to stop. She was so hungry. But no, she couldn't risk eating. How many calories were in a McDonald's? Hundreds…thousands. She was surprised when Matt didn't ask if she wanted anything.
An hour into the journey, he pulled over so Amy could drive. He and Jeff promptly feel asleep in the back seat. She was already tired and somewhat dizzy so took a tablet to help cure her headache. It did help but only to an extent. She was trying to concentrate on driving which all of a sudden, seemed hard to do. Because she hadn't slept much for weeks, lack of food and tiring herself out with exercising, she gradually began to fall asleep. But within a split second, the car started to get out of control. She suddenly jerked awake after hearing a loud, blaring horn. Amy pulled the car back into the right lane and stopped at a lay-by. Matt and Jeff had now also woken up. They all got out of the car. Amy couldn't stop the tears from falling. Matt engulfed into a protective hug and tightened his grip when her sobs became harder. She apologised repeatedly until eventually, she calmed down.
Jeff got into the front seat and started driving as Matt and Amy climbed into the back. She laid her head on his lap and fell into a peaceful sleep with him stroking her hair. Even with the layers of clothes and a thick blanket over her, she was still cold. Shivering slightly, she pulled the covers closer to her body, trying to warm up more. After half an hour, she opened her eyes once again. Another failed attempt at sleeping. For the life of her, she just couldn't drift off. Sighing in frustration, she sat up and looked out of the window. Matt was sleeping heavily. She locked eyes with Jeff through the mirror.
"He just worries about you Ames…we all do," he said, as if reading her mind.
"I know," she whispered. "But…I…there's nothing wrong with me." Why was all she could do these day was lie? And to her best friends at that. God only knows how bad she wanted people to know how bad things were but something deep down was stopping her. Maybe saying out loud that she really was suffering from anorexia would only make her accept it. By keeping silent, she had convinced herself she was fine. When the truth was…
~Two Days Later~
Amy returned back to her house after a long, hard day. She'd been working out for the most part of the morning and afternoon before going to Matt's to go through all their fan mail which had taken them hours. Exhausted, she collapsed on the sofa and turned the TV on. But Bryan walked out from the kitchen, surprising her, as she hadn't expected him to be there.
"Hey baby, I cooked you a nice meal. Come on," he told her, holding his hand out for her to take.
"Umm, I've already eaten a huge meal at Matt's. I'm not hungry," she lied.
"Oh well then, ok. Let's find something else to do then." Sitting down, he started kissing her neck. But she pushed him away, saying she was tired. They hadn't had sex yet and she didn't want to now, not only because she was tired but also as she didn't want him to see her body. He stood up and looked angry. Ignoring him, she laid back on the couch and without realising, her top rode up a bit, revealing a slight bruise. Bryan leaned over her, an irate expression on his face. Amy became scared and it showed on her face. At that moment, the door burst open and Matt walked through the door. He saw the situation and the bruise on her stomach, instantly concluding that he had hit her. He ran over and gripped Bryan against the wall.
"Matt, what are you doing? Nothing's wrong. He hasn't hit me," she assured frantically, forcing him to releasing her boyfriend.
"Then what about that bruise on you abdomen. You seem to have been getting a lot lately."
"They're from the ring. Stacey and Torrie haven't been controlling their moves properly and I'm paying for it." Again, it was a lie.
"Make sure that's all they are."
~Six Months Since Diet Started~
Amy's weight was now down to seventy-seven pounds. It had drastically plummeted within the last six months. She wasn't eating anything at this stage in time except for an apple, which she would throw up, or chuck in the bin after a few bites. And except for drinking a glass of water occasionally, she wasn't consuming any drink, afraid of the calories it would contain. Stephanie had also recently asked her if she was pregnant because she hadn't had her period for two months but Amy took this the wrong way and thought Steph meant she was fat. So, she had tried to lose even more weight. But luckily, an upcoming match was going to change things.
Amy was in a match was Trish for Raw the next week. About two minutes into the match and after a few moves like the Head Scissors Takeover, she had become unbelievably faint. The arena was spinning and she struggled to focus on everything. But Amy forced herself to continue with the match. After several more moves had been performed, she gave Trish the Twist Of Fate then climbed on the turnbuckle to give her a Litcunrana. However, as she got to the top rope, she crouched down for a moment. Everything seemed far away, as though she was in a different world. Looking around slightly, the audience were just a blur swimming around in front of her eyes. Her head spun. She jumped down to the apron.
"There's something wrong with Amy," the referee informed Trish, bending to down to pretend he was just checking on her. She pushed herself up just as Amy collapsed and fell to the mat. Knowing that this wasn't scripted, Jerry Lawler rushed to her side. He indicated for the EMT's to come down. Matt was backstage by the vending machine when Adam rushed up to him and informed him. Because he hadn't seen it, Matt didn't know the severity of it. He ran through the hall and made his way down the ramp to where she was laying, the medical staff around her.
"We're going to have to take her to the hospital, now!" one of them told the others. One of the EMT's placed her hands on her stomach as they put her on the stretcher and she was horrified to feel the ribs sticking out. They rushed her backstage and into the ambulance to take her to the hospital. Jeff was in North Carolina after hurting his leg so couldn't be there but Matt had already phoned him and Amy's mother. After an hour of waiting, one of the doctors called him aside.
"I'm afraid Amy dumas has anorexia nervosa. Her kidney has failed and her condition is extremely serious. Did you know about any of this?" he asked.
"Man! I had an idea but whenever I confronted her, she denied it and it accused us to argue an awful lot which I didn't want."
"I understand that but being a good friend sometimes mean risking the friendship. She only weight just under eighty pounds. You can see her now but don't stay long; she needs to rest." Matt made his way into her room and found her curled into a ball, staring out of the windows.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" he asked, sincerely. She looked down and avoided his gaze. "All I want to know is why."
"Remember about six months ago, we were at a club. You, Jeff, Adam and Jay made some jokes about me being fat and I thought…" she started but stopped when the tears shot down her face. Choking back the sobs, she continued, "earlier that day, Vince said I needed to lose weight and with this comments you guys made, I did."
"So, we triggered it. Amy, I am so incredibly sorry. But Vince…you didn't need to lose weight, babe. We were pissed as hell but I'm still sorry."
"I know you are, but I let it get so bad. I want help Matt, I want to get better."
Author: Carly.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone involved in this story.
"This is stupid. I'm fine. Besides, I have nothing to prove to you. Especially you Vince," Amy screamed, looking at her boss who immediately knew what she was talking about.
"Look, I haven't got time for this. You are all dismissed for now," he lied to escape the truth from being told. Matt and Jeff complied his instructions and left, completely confused about what had just happened within the last minute. Amy had already gone and was now nowhere to be seen but their guess was either at the gym or jogging back to the hotel, some form of exercise at least. The two Hardy brothers decided to go and look for her to find out what was going on. But after half an hour, they still hadn't seen her so retreated back to their locker room. They needed to collect their things together before driving to their next destination for Smackdown tapings. As they were walking through the halls of the arena, fans approached them, thrusting all sorts of things in their faces to sign.
One thing that caught Matt's eye was a photo of all three of them, six months ago when everything was normal. Now everything was messed up, especially with Amy. He signed the photo for the little boy before continuing walking to the car. When they reached Jeff's Corvette, they dumped their things in the back before getting in and decided to return to the hotel, in case Amy was there. Matt was about to change the radio stations but the chorus of a certain song caught his ears.
The girl's going out of her head
She's going crazy
Girl's going out of her head
She don't want to stop.
As the song finished it, the radio host announced it as "Girl's Going Out Of Her Head" by Thunder. It reminded him of the fact that Amy seemed to be going insane; she had gotten utterly obsessed with her weight and exercising, and she couldn't seem to stop starving herself. Amy also had the same thoughts while listening to those four lines of the radio in the hotel room. She was lying on her bed, thinking about the situation. She really did want to get better but something inside was stopping her. Maybe it was satisfaction she had when she discovered she'd lost more weight, the way people often complimented her but at the same time, they didn't know how bad she was…except for Matt and Jeff. Despite the fact that she did want things to return to normal, when they offered her the hospitality, she wouldn't accept it. Instead, she'd yell and shout at them.
Someone vigorously knocked on the door. Grunting, Amy got up and answered it. Matt and Jeff stood in the hallway, both holding a bottle of water. She invited them and watched as they sat on the edge of her bed. As they did so, Matt saw something that caught his eye, sticking out of her bag. She had gone into the bathroom for a minute so he pulled the object out. A book on how many calories certain food had. Sighing, he shoved it back just as she returned. Jeff looked at his older brother and shrugged.
"Ames, are you ready to go?" he asked with sadness.
"Umm yeah. Why do you sound so upset?"
"I just…umm, nothing. Forget it." He knew he should just drop the subject for now. They had a three-hour drive and there would only be masses of tension between them all as it was guaranteed she'd only start screaming at them if he mentioned it. So in silence, they made their way to the parking lot. It was already eleven thirty so decided to take it in turns to drive in order to let the others sleep. But Amy was so tempted to eat when they pulled into a drive-thru. She was called into a ball and the music of the radio drowned out the sound of her rumbling stomach. Closing her eyes, she wished for it to stop. She was so hungry. But no, she couldn't risk eating. How many calories were in a McDonald's? Hundreds…thousands. She was surprised when Matt didn't ask if she wanted anything.
An hour into the journey, he pulled over so Amy could drive. He and Jeff promptly feel asleep in the back seat. She was already tired and somewhat dizzy so took a tablet to help cure her headache. It did help but only to an extent. She was trying to concentrate on driving which all of a sudden, seemed hard to do. Because she hadn't slept much for weeks, lack of food and tiring herself out with exercising, she gradually began to fall asleep. But within a split second, the car started to get out of control. She suddenly jerked awake after hearing a loud, blaring horn. Amy pulled the car back into the right lane and stopped at a lay-by. Matt and Jeff had now also woken up. They all got out of the car. Amy couldn't stop the tears from falling. Matt engulfed into a protective hug and tightened his grip when her sobs became harder. She apologised repeatedly until eventually, she calmed down.
Jeff got into the front seat and started driving as Matt and Amy climbed into the back. She laid her head on his lap and fell into a peaceful sleep with him stroking her hair. Even with the layers of clothes and a thick blanket over her, she was still cold. Shivering slightly, she pulled the covers closer to her body, trying to warm up more. After half an hour, she opened her eyes once again. Another failed attempt at sleeping. For the life of her, she just couldn't drift off. Sighing in frustration, she sat up and looked out of the window. Matt was sleeping heavily. She locked eyes with Jeff through the mirror.
"He just worries about you Ames…we all do," he said, as if reading her mind.
"I know," she whispered. "But…I…there's nothing wrong with me." Why was all she could do these day was lie? And to her best friends at that. God only knows how bad she wanted people to know how bad things were but something deep down was stopping her. Maybe saying out loud that she really was suffering from anorexia would only make her accept it. By keeping silent, she had convinced herself she was fine. When the truth was…
~Two Days Later~
Amy returned back to her house after a long, hard day. She'd been working out for the most part of the morning and afternoon before going to Matt's to go through all their fan mail which had taken them hours. Exhausted, she collapsed on the sofa and turned the TV on. But Bryan walked out from the kitchen, surprising her, as she hadn't expected him to be there.
"Hey baby, I cooked you a nice meal. Come on," he told her, holding his hand out for her to take.
"Umm, I've already eaten a huge meal at Matt's. I'm not hungry," she lied.
"Oh well then, ok. Let's find something else to do then." Sitting down, he started kissing her neck. But she pushed him away, saying she was tired. They hadn't had sex yet and she didn't want to now, not only because she was tired but also as she didn't want him to see her body. He stood up and looked angry. Ignoring him, she laid back on the couch and without realising, her top rode up a bit, revealing a slight bruise. Bryan leaned over her, an irate expression on his face. Amy became scared and it showed on her face. At that moment, the door burst open and Matt walked through the door. He saw the situation and the bruise on her stomach, instantly concluding that he had hit her. He ran over and gripped Bryan against the wall.
"Matt, what are you doing? Nothing's wrong. He hasn't hit me," she assured frantically, forcing him to releasing her boyfriend.
"Then what about that bruise on you abdomen. You seem to have been getting a lot lately."
"They're from the ring. Stacey and Torrie haven't been controlling their moves properly and I'm paying for it." Again, it was a lie.
"Make sure that's all they are."
~Six Months Since Diet Started~
Amy's weight was now down to seventy-seven pounds. It had drastically plummeted within the last six months. She wasn't eating anything at this stage in time except for an apple, which she would throw up, or chuck in the bin after a few bites. And except for drinking a glass of water occasionally, she wasn't consuming any drink, afraid of the calories it would contain. Stephanie had also recently asked her if she was pregnant because she hadn't had her period for two months but Amy took this the wrong way and thought Steph meant she was fat. So, she had tried to lose even more weight. But luckily, an upcoming match was going to change things.
Amy was in a match was Trish for Raw the next week. About two minutes into the match and after a few moves like the Head Scissors Takeover, she had become unbelievably faint. The arena was spinning and she struggled to focus on everything. But Amy forced herself to continue with the match. After several more moves had been performed, she gave Trish the Twist Of Fate then climbed on the turnbuckle to give her a Litcunrana. However, as she got to the top rope, she crouched down for a moment. Everything seemed far away, as though she was in a different world. Looking around slightly, the audience were just a blur swimming around in front of her eyes. Her head spun. She jumped down to the apron.
"There's something wrong with Amy," the referee informed Trish, bending to down to pretend he was just checking on her. She pushed herself up just as Amy collapsed and fell to the mat. Knowing that this wasn't scripted, Jerry Lawler rushed to her side. He indicated for the EMT's to come down. Matt was backstage by the vending machine when Adam rushed up to him and informed him. Because he hadn't seen it, Matt didn't know the severity of it. He ran through the hall and made his way down the ramp to where she was laying, the medical staff around her.
"We're going to have to take her to the hospital, now!" one of them told the others. One of the EMT's placed her hands on her stomach as they put her on the stretcher and she was horrified to feel the ribs sticking out. They rushed her backstage and into the ambulance to take her to the hospital. Jeff was in North Carolina after hurting his leg so couldn't be there but Matt had already phoned him and Amy's mother. After an hour of waiting, one of the doctors called him aside.
"I'm afraid Amy dumas has anorexia nervosa. Her kidney has failed and her condition is extremely serious. Did you know about any of this?" he asked.
"Man! I had an idea but whenever I confronted her, she denied it and it accused us to argue an awful lot which I didn't want."
"I understand that but being a good friend sometimes mean risking the friendship. She only weight just under eighty pounds. You can see her now but don't stay long; she needs to rest." Matt made his way into her room and found her curled into a ball, staring out of the windows.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" he asked, sincerely. She looked down and avoided his gaze. "All I want to know is why."
"Remember about six months ago, we were at a club. You, Jeff, Adam and Jay made some jokes about me being fat and I thought…" she started but stopped when the tears shot down her face. Choking back the sobs, she continued, "earlier that day, Vince said I needed to lose weight and with this comments you guys made, I did."
"So, we triggered it. Amy, I am so incredibly sorry. But Vince…you didn't need to lose weight, babe. We were pissed as hell but I'm still sorry."
"I know you are, but I let it get so bad. I want help Matt, I want to get better."
