Whew! At long last! Chapter three! I personally don't think this chapter is as good as the other two, but then I thought they sucked too. Oh well…and I would like to thank me lovely reviewers who really are great! *beams like a silly little child* On with chapter three!



Disclaimer: Don't own Merry, Pippin or Hob Hayward…they belong to Tolkien.







It was a beautiful day in the Shire (when isn't it?), and Merry and Pippin were doing something constructive, they were weeding Sam's garden.

"Merry, we really should look for another job." Pippin said and threw some dandelions into the wooden wheelbarrow.

"And get fired again? No thanks!"

"But I really want another job! I could be a builder, or an author, I could even be a musician!"

"Pip, I hate to burst your bubble and all,"

"You're not sorry. You love doing it." Pippin interrupted.

"As I was saying, you would suck at all those. Your buildings would collapse, your books would never sell and your music would most definitely NOT rock the world!" Merry stated matter-of-factly. Pippin got up and stood over Merry

"Alright then cousin. If you see a job you like, then we will try that. But if we see a job I like, then you will have no choice but to take the job as well!" Pippin practically shouted.

"Alright! Fine! Now lets get back to weeding before Sam thinks we are slacking off."



Later that day Merry and Pippin were chatting to the local Hobbit lasses.

Merry was going on about how he defeated the Lord of the Nazgûl for the umpteenth time.

"And then he came at me, but I was quick and got him first!" Pippin rolled his eyes. It seemed that every time they came across hobbit lasses, Merry would shoot straight into his tale of how he defeated the Nazgûl Lord.

"Merry! Come on! We have to get the groceries." Pippin said, pulling Merry away from the girls.

"Aw, but Pip…" Merry whined, waving to the girls.

"Merry! For once start thinking with your head! We need food! Would you prefer to go hungry?"

"No…" Merry trailed off.

"Well then. Lets go."



They arrived at the market half an hour later. Merry was the first to pick some juicy apples from the cart.

"Mmm, delicious red apples. My favourite." He lifted it up to his mouth to take a bite, when he was hit on the head by an unknown force.

"OW! Who did that?" He growled, rubbing his head.

"You pay for it first, fool!" Pippin said.

"Did you just-?" Merry asked

"Yes." Pippin replied. Before Merry could answer back, an ear-piercing noise reverberated throughout the Shire. Or Hobbiton, at least. Merry and Pippin turned around to see a red wagon being pulled by a very fast Hobbit. Another Hobbit who was sitting on the wagon was waling very loudly.

"What's happening?" Merry shouted above the noise.

"I think that's a fire wagon!" Pippin shouted back.

"Oh right!" Merry replied. Then, he and Pippin turned to face each other and grinned.



"Where can we sign up to be firemen please?" Pippin asked in his best 'you know you want to hire me' voice. The Hobbit woman looked down at Pippin and pointed to a large green door with a sign above it marked 'Firehobbits Recruitment Office.".

Merry and Pippin thanked her and headed towards the office. Merry rapped on the door three times.

"Come in."

The two hobbits entered the room and sat down on the green sofa, which was on the other side of the room. A chair back was facing them, behind a green desk.

"Psst, Merry, have you noticed how all of the furniture in here is green?" Pippin asked.

"It's a bit hard not to, Pip." Merry whispered back. Pippin glared at Merry and looked around the room. High above them, there hung a chandelier with green candles burning away. Behind the desk, a large window overlooked the green garden.

"Good morning gentlemen, what can I do for you?" A voice questioned. The green chair swivelled around to reveal the owner of the voice.

"Hob Hayward! What are you doing here?!" Pippin cried out in amazement.

"I'm the firehobbit recruitment officer." Merry and Pippin each nodded their heads in understanding, although Pippin was probably lost.

"But I thought you were in the Mafia."

"Well I was up until a few weeks before you joined."

"Right! Enough chitchat! We would like to join the firewagon thingy!"

"As a fireman or as the siren? Or perhaps the wagons puller?" Hob asked.

"Fireman for me," Looking over to Pippin, Merry said, "With Pip's voice, I think he should be a siren."

"Merry! I'm not that bad at singing! And besides, I want to be a fireman!" Pippin fumed slightly. He made a mental note to give Merry a kick in the shin later.

"Alright, so that's two firemen." Hob said it as if he was taking their order at a fancy restaurant. "You will have to go through the basic training that all firehobbits go through."

"Fine by us!"

"Very well, pick up your helmets outside and be here by dawn tomorrow." Hob swivelled his chair so that the back was facing Merry and Pippin. They took this as a sign to leave. So they did, picking their helmets up outside.



The next day was unusually bright. Merry and Pippin were trying on their helmets outside Bag End.

"Look at me!" Pippin shouted. Merry took one look at Pippin and burst into laughter.

"You dolt! You've got it on backwards!"

Pippin rolled his eyes skyward to try and see his helmet.

"Oh." Was all he said and he proceeded in putting it on the right way. Merry put his on and looked at Pippin. The sun shone brightly off it and practically blinded Merry.

"Argh! My eyes!" He fell to the floor, hands rubbing his eyes. Pippin looked at Merry oddly. The sun reflected off Merry's helmet and soon Pippin was imitating Merry. Any hobbit passing that day would think it was a ritual or something strange.

Once they had gotten their eyesight back, Pippin looked at the sundial in the garden and realised that it was well past noon.

"Uh…Merry?"

"What?"

"Do you realise that we should have been at the fire place ages ago?"

"Oh bugger…Hurry Pippin, TO THE HOBBIT MOBILE!"

Pippin gave him a funny look

"The what?"

"The Hobbit Mobile you fool!"

"And I repeat…the what?"

"I…oh never mind. Lets just run very quickly over to the fire station!"

"Ok!"

And so they did. They ran and ran and ran until their little legs buckled beneath them and they landed in a pile on the ground.

"That hurt!" Whined Pippin, as he attempted to get up. But alas! He could not, for Merry was lying on top of him, and being a Brandybuck was rather heavy.

"Merry, you fat lump, get off me!"

"I am NOT fat! I'm just big-boned…"(quote from Asterix there)

"Whatever Merry, just get off!"

"Not until you apologise!"

"Fine, fine, fine! I'm sooooooorry for calling you a fat lump."

"That's better." Merry said and got off Pippin.

"Even though it's the truth…" Pippin whispered. Luckily for Pip, Merry was running towards the fire station, which was very close.

"Hey! Wait for me Merry!" Pippin raced after his cousin.



They arrived at the station just as the fire wagon left.

"They forgot about us!" Merry said, sadly.

"Forgot?! You forgot to get here on time! You are not worthy of being a fire hobbit!" A voice said. Merry and Pippin whipped around. A sweatdrop appeared on both hobbits faces as they looked up to find an angry Hob Hayward towering over them.

"Er…Hi?" Pippin lamely said. He and Merry were dragged to the office of the fire station and Hob slammed the door shut.

"Why didn't you arrive on time?"

"We forgot about it?"

"Pippin!" Turning to Hob, Merry then said, "Well, we were so excited about starting our new jobs that we sorta lost track of time…ehehehe…"

Hob growled. "Do you know that I have to strip you of your jobs now?"

"WHAT?!" Merry and Pippin yelled

"I'm sorry, you guys, but I have to. It's law."

"But, but, but…"

"Put your helmets over there please." Hob pointed to a table. Merry walked over to the table and put his helmet down. Pippin stood next to the door, as if he was planning on making a break for it with his helmet.

"Pippin…"

"No! I want to keep it!"

"Pippin! It is against the laws of Hobbiton to have a firehelemt unless you are an authorised fire hobbit. Now give me the helmet!" Hob advanced a step and grabbed at the helmet. Pippin pulled it out of reach and held it high above his head. After drinking some of the Ent Draft, he easily kept it out of reach from Hob.

"Listen Pippin, if you don't give the helmet back, I will have to call for a police hobbit, who will arrest you."

Pippin brought the helmet down slightly and thought about how it would look in his permanent file if he were arrested. What would his mother say? And his father?

"Peregrin!" Pippin looked over to Merry, slightly shocked at the use of his proper name. "Give the helmet to Hob. We can find another job."

Pippin nodded and gave the helmet to Hob. Hob walked out of the room carrying the two helmets without looking back at the two dejected hobbits.

"Come on Pip, cheer up! We weren't cut out for it."

"But I really wanted to be a fire hobbit!"

"Really? And get up really early in the mornings and having to sweat it out at a site of a fire?"

"I suppose when you put it that way…"

"So…lets go find another job!" Merry said happily. Pippin nodded and together they walked out of the office and back home.



As they passed the market, a hobbit shouted at them to mind their heads. Not hearing this, Pippin got hit across the head by a large barrel of ale, which was being hoisted up onto a cart.

"Why is it always me who gets whacked on the head?" He moaned.

"Probably because you have a large head?" Merry quipped.

"Haha Merry. I just realised something."

"You did? Wow!"

"Merry, let me talk!"

"I thought that's what I always did…" Pippin narrowed his eyes and continued to talk.

"I just realised that we haven't eaten anything ALL day. And guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm really hungry."

"Well we could buy an apple or two."

"That's good. What job are we going to go in for next?"

"I have no idea…"

Merry and Pippin bought their lunch and went home, wondering where their unemployed state would lead them next.





Finito



Did you like? R/R please! And go check out WhiteWolf's fics if you haven't already done so. They're awesome…And Jellylady too.