Title: Rainy Days and Mondays

Author: Karin (Bailsgal)

Email: celtic_7@hotmail.com

Feedback: Live for it!

Summary: When Vaughn can't handle seeing Syd with Noah any longer, he accepts a posting to the American Embassy in London. However a bad mission and unsaid things lead Sydney to his door.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All the Alias characters belong to the very talented mind of JJ Abrams. Emma Brody and Doug Roach and the rest of the London Embassy crew belong to the cancelled Fox show The American Embassy, produced by Jersey Televison., Michelle Fox and Danny DeVito

Distribution: How ever wants it just ask and it's yours.

Rating : PG to start.

Classification: Angst/Adventure and Romance….what could a person ask for?

Author's Note: Alright all this is my first Alias fanfic, I'm use to writing Buffy stuff. So please be gentle till I figure out where this fic and the characters are taking me! I'd also like to thank my dear friend and beta girl extraordinar Anne-Marie!



Pulling his knees up and resting his feet against the credenza behind his desk, Vaughn stared out the ceiling to floor windows of his office, lost in thought. Since the terrorist bombing at the embassy three months ago, Vaughn hadn't had much time to think. There hadn't been much time to do anything more than sleep, work and adjust to his new surroundings. Vaughn hadn't thought about her. He had refused to allow himself that painful luxury, but on this rainy London day as he stared out the window, he finally let himself remember the last day he saw her. Telling her he was leaving was, by far, the most painful day of his adult life.

Leaving Sidney Bristow was hard, telling her he was being reassigned was harder, but telling her that he'd requested the transfer was the closest he'd ever been to hell. Vaughn settled back into his chair, closed his eyes and began to re-live every brutal moment of that last meeting.

*****

"What a mess out there! Sorry I'm late," Sydney's voice rang out as she approached the cage. "I swear people in this town cannot drive in the rain!"

"No door service today?" she asked, trying to tease a smile out of him, but things had changed between them lately. Her own smile faltered as her comment failed to elicit any reaction from him. Vaughn had become cold, almost detached, as her handler since she had told him about Noah. It was unsettling. Sydney knew Dr. Bennett would have called Vaushn's current behaviour 'appropriate'; meeting with her, giving her the counter mission, wishing her luck and leaving in a blur of blue suit but she missed his concerned admonitions to be careful. It was the hardest part of this new formality that now existed beween them.

"Sorry," he said as he slid the papers he was working on into a briefcase laid out on the crates. " I'm just a little preoccupied here."

"You okay?" Sydney asked, staring hard at his turned back. Whatever was going on in his head wasn't good, but she was surprised that it would make her blood suddenly feel like ice in her veins.

"I've been reassigned," he said simply, turning to face her.

"No problem, I'll call Devlin and we'll have you reinstated within the hour. Not to worry," Sydney grinned, waving off the grave look on his face. Vaughn's total lack of response set the alarm bells ringing through Sydney again. This was much worse than Devlin. Was it above Devlin? Had Barrett finally gone over Devlin's head as she'd threatened?

"Don't get involved, Sydney. There's nothing you can do," Vaugn said harshly. He turned abruptly, shoving the remainder of his papers into the briefcase.

"It's not difficult, one little phone call….," she said, pulling out her cell phone.

"God damn it Syd! Don't you get it! I asked for the reassignment," he snapped, frustrated by her singled mindedness. Well it was good to know that not everything lately was about her and Noah?

"What?" she blinked, shocked by his words and the anger in his voice. Had she just heard him correctly? He had asked to be reassigned?

"I've been reassigned to the Embassy in London, to work on their anti- terrorist team," he said, fixing his shoulders in a firm line. The last thing he wanted was for her to see how much leaving her was killing him.

"You're leaving me," she siad flatly. It wasn't a question, just a hard statement of fact.

"Tomorrow night," he said, turning to face her again. " Movers finished this morning, and I'm having dinner with my mom…," he stopped to look at his watch, "in 45 minutes. Tomorrow it's just tying up some lose ends at the office and I leave on the 9:00 p.m. flight to Heathrow"

"You weren't going to tell me at all were you?" Syd was in shock. Vaughn was leaving her, and this was all the warning he was giving her. Her best friend was leaving and he didn't think she'd warranted anything more than a quick meeting in an abandoned warehouse.

"I'm telling you now," he said stiffly, a note of defensiveness creeping into his voice.

Vaughn seriously wanted to kick Weiss for making him do this. Why couldn't he just run away and disappear into the night like CIA men were supposed to? Why couldn't Weiss tell her for him, he was after all her new handler. Probably afraid she'd kick his ass. So instead, he was here, telling the woman he loved he was leaving and not telling her the real reason why. When had his life began to suck like this?

"I need you," she said closing the distance between them, a distance she noticed that Vaughn had set.

"No, you don't. You have your dad, your friends and….and Noah," Vaugn said trying to sound like he'd forgotten the guy's name, but how could he? Hadn't Noah Hicks been the one who'd ripped his heart out, snuffed out his dreams? He hated the sound of the guy's name. Hated it more that it came from, his own lips.

"No. I need you. I can't talk to them…."

"Syd! You have people around you that you trust, open up to them for a change. Let them in," he finished gently.

"Oh? And how do you suggest I explain to my father my need to find my mother? Maybe I should tell Noah about the double agent stuff huh? Wait! Even better, let's get Francie and Will killed, or wasn't Danny enough for you?" Syd's temper was rising. How could he possibly leave her now. She needed him.

"Tell Noah about your mom and tell your dad about the double agent stuff. Easy, see? Take out Agent Vaughn and insert one of the other men in your life in his place," Vaughn shrugged his shoulders. He was trying to sound flippant but it was coming out bitter.

"How long have you known?" Syd demanded, standing in front of him and forcing him to meet her glare.

"A couple weeks. Jill's been at me for awhile now to take the transfer."

"Jill?" she asked. So there was someone in his life, someone new, someone female.

"An ex of mine. We used to date when I worked in Washington. She's been in L.A. the last couple weeks, so we've…well we've been spending a lot of time together, and we've talked," he said, shrugging again. Suddenly he realized that he'd never told Sydney about his Washington years.

"You were in Washington? See there's so much about you that I don't know. You can't leave me," Syd smiled hesitantly. Anger wasn't working, time to try another tactic. God she felt like crying.

"I was your handler, Agent Bristow not your buddy," Vaughn hated being so hard assed suddenly, but it was the only way he could get out of this without collapsing and agreeing to stay in LA.

And watch her fawn all over Noah? Never gonna happen!

"So this ex shows up and suddenly and you're off to London? What do you know about working in an Embassy?" Sydney demanded indignantly.

"Syd, my expertise is Terrorism. I'll be heading the station's Terrorism unit and Jill's been in my life longer than you know…."

"Then why haven't you mentioned her before?"

Why is she focusing on Jill? he thought.

"Well!" she was pressing for an answer and, Vaughn found himself getting irritated by this sudden jealous act.

"Jillian Louise Scott. Birthplace Toronto, Ontario Canada. Born December 18, 1969. Legal counsel for the Canadian Embassy in London. We meet at a Consulate dinner while she was assigned to the Canandian Consul in Washington. Our relationship ended when I moved back to L.A. to care for my mother after she broke her leg. Is there anything else you'd like to know Sydney? I'll warn you though, I draw a line at our sex life," Vaughn hurled at her, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'm just…."

"What? Worried about me? Gonna miss me?"

"Yes, I'll miss you Vaughn, " she blinked hard, her eyes were starting to burn with unshed tears.

"My name is Michael!" he snapped, whirling to look at her. In all their meetings, never once had she called him Michael. It was always Vaughn. How had he fooled himself into thinking she cared about him? This was professional to her. He didn't matter to her. All he was to her was an anchor, something to keep her sane in her crazy world.

Is that so bad? part of him asked.

"I know… I just…we…" Sydney stumbled over her words. She didn't know what to say.

"Look I have to go. I don't want to keep my mother and Jill waiting," he sighed.

Yes, it's bad. I want so much more than just that.

"She knows your mother?" Syd whispered. Who was this woman that seemed to be such a fixture in Vaughn's life that she knew his mother? How many of her exes, other than Danny, had she introduced to her father? Noah hadn't counted because they worked together so none, nada, zip. Given this, Sydney assumed that things had been pretty serious between them before he left Washington.

Vaughn watched her face as she took in this piece of information. He hated the way the pain flared in her eyes.

I so can't do this now!

He needed air and space before he lost it completely and gave into her. Vaughn refused to let her see what his choice was costing him emotionally. Leaving her might just kill him. It would certainly change him forever, but he felt he had no choice. He couldn't stay as her handler knowing that she was in love with another man. Again he wondered how had he fooled himself into thinking they had something. Something he thought was worth waiting for but apparently Sydney Bristow had other plans. Now there was a warm bed and a new life waiting for him in England. He'd be a fool not to grab this chance.

"Vaughn please I need you," Syd pleaded, reaching for his arm.

"You don't! Can't you see that, Syd?" He asked, searching her eyes. "Sydney you are the strongest woman I know. You can do this without me."

He rested his hand over hers, "Besides I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know you had Noah to lean on. I need to move on."

"Think this over, please," she begged him.

How could he think that what she had with Noah was enough, when it was his face she saw every night when she closed her eyes? She had tried telling herself that what she felt for Vaughn was nothing, but she had failed miserably. All that she had accomplished was hurting Vaughn, and now it was causing her to lose him forever. She knew what was in store for her. She'd that end up scared and alone, wondering where along the way she'd lost Noah as well

How do I manage this time after time? I always mess up what's good before I even know I'm doing it! she thought to herself.

"You said you believed in me! That you'd always be here for me. How can you leave?" she was spinning between anger and desperation. She didn't know what her next words would be, nor what tone would erupt next. She felt so lost!

"Please Syd, try and understand. I'll always believe in you, that isn't the problem. I just need to find the man I used to be. I can't live for just you anymore," Vaughn spoke so quietly that she had to lean in to hear him. Their lips were mere inches apart. He could just kiss her, lose himself in a goodbye kiss, but why torture himself for eternity? Leaning in he gave Syd a peck on the cheek, before he breezed past her and out of her life.

********

Rainy days like this always reminded him of that day, and in London they had more than their share of rainy days. It had become important to wall off those memories and focus on other things, like trying to figure out what cell was responsible for the bombing. All the leads they had led to a French Algerian extremist group, but Vaughn had learned years ago to look beyond the obvious. Reaching behind him, he stretched for the photos from the security cameras both before and after the bombing. He had to be missing something.

As he lost himself again in thoughts of the bombing, the phone rang shrilly behind him. Spinning lightly, he reached across the desk and grabbed it.

"Agent Vaughn."

"Meet me downstairs in 5 minutes. No excuses," the female voice on the other end made him smile.

"How do you always know when I need to hear your voice?" Vaughn sighed.

"Roommates intuition," was the sunny reply.

"I'm swamped," he groaned.

"Too bad, you promised. Look, you refused to join me for lunch, which I'm telling Doug about, and now you're trying to cancel on our grocery shopping night. No, way. You have 5 minutes to get that bony ass of yours down those stairs to the main doors, or I'm sending Sgt. MacLeod up to get you," she ordered.

"Fine, fine! Let me tidy up and I'll meet you at the front in 5," he laughed. Vaughn knew not to push her when she was in one of her moods.

"Good," she positively crowed in truimph and hung up the phone. He smiled to himself and thought how good she was for him.

"Are you out of here Michael?" the grey haired woman looked from her desk as he stepped out of his office and locked the door.

"Yup, I'm gone for the night Bette. Tell the night shift if they need me they have the numbers. I'll see you in the morning. Have a great evening," he smiled at the older woman who was his secre… er, assistant, as he blew past her desk and down the long corridor to the grand staircase.

Sliding into his trenchcoat, Vaughn smiled as he saw her talking to the two Marine Guards.

"Is she bugging you guys again? I can report her if you'd like," he teased.

"S'okay Mr. Vaughn, she's harmless and y'know she does work for us," Sgt MacLeod relaxed at the sight of Vaughn.

"Oh yes she does, doesn't she? I keep forgetting."

"Keep that up Michael Vaughn and you'll be sleeping outside tonight!" Emma Brody warned him playfully. She waved to the guards and turned on her heel, leaving Vaughn to trail after her.

"Oh Brody, that's cheap," he smiled and he slipped his arm around her shoulder as he pushed open the door. Standing under the awning, he took the umbrella she handed him and flipped it open.

"You need to remember to get your umbrella from Jill's," Emma said, snuggling against him as they started down the stairs to the main gates of the embassy.

"You need to remind me," he cracked.

"Am I your mother?" she hit him playfully in the stomach. "God, you'd be lost without me Michael!"

"You're right Emma, I would."

The bitch of it was that she was absolutley right

Ah, Emma Brody! Roommate extrodinaire! She was the best thing to have happened to him since arriving in London.

Too bad she was dating one of his best friends!

Emma was involved with his partner from his CIA academy days, Doug Roach. Vaughn sometimes thought Emma was too good for Doug, but seeing them together showed him a new side of his former playboy partner. Vaughn often used to think that Doug joined the CIA to use it as a pick-up line.

"So what do you think we should serve tomorrow night since you're the one cooking," Emma asked linking arms with him and entwining her fingers with his.

"I can't believe I agreed to host this party with you," Vaughn grumbled.

"Shut up," she laugehd, "You know you're dying to show off your cooking."

1 "Good evening guys," Emma waved at the guards on gate duty

"Night Mr. Vaughn, Ms. Brody," the young Marine nodded his head.

"Oh Mr. Vaughn did that woman friend of yours reach you earlier?" he asked, suddenly remembering the brilliant red-head who'd been asking about Agent Vaughn an hour earlier.

"Friend? Someone was asking about me?" Vaughn asked, turning to look at the guard.

"Yeah a really beautiful red head. Wanted to know if you'd left for the day," the other guard added.

"Jill," Emma said confidently.

"She took off in a hurry. Said she'd call you at home or something like that. Should we keep an eye out for her?" the first guard asked

"No, it's okay guys. She'll get me at home. Night," He smiled thinking of Jill and her long red hair. It never occurred to him to think about another redhead who used to haunt his dreams, the one who stood across the street watching them.

"Come on Michael. Doug's meeting us at the Grocery Store," Emma said dragging him away from the guards.

*****

Sydney hid in the shadows, watching, as he spoke to the guards on duty at the gate. She watched, as Vaughn slipped his arm around the blonde woman's shoulders drawing her close. Seeing him so happy with this woman hurt, but it was what he had wanted. A life away from her, and LA. Even this far away, she thought she could hear his laugh, but it was all in her head, a distant memory.

He looked so good, she thought and groaned as she leaned against the wall. His light brown hair was shorter than he'd worn it in L.A., but it was still messy, as if he's just gotten up. It appeared he'd done some shopping since moving to London as well, because the trench he had on looked new to her. She had missed him so much, just being this close felt good.

Vaughn and the blonde were now talking to the guards on duty. She prayed the guard would remember to tell Vaughn about the red headed friend that had been by. She didn't hold out much hope though, the kid didn't look that bright. She could have left a note, but with K-Directorate hot on her tail, she couldn't risk a paper trail. Taking a deep breath Sydney pressed her hand against her side, pulling it back to see fresh blood on it. Her mission to Paris to retrieve another Rambaldi artifact had gone painfully wrong. It had been a trap, and K-Directorate had been waiting for her and Dixon to emerge for the bank's vaults with the scroll. Upon realising this, the agents had set off on foot in different directions, with K- Directorate's guns blazing behind them. She'd gotten hit but somehow managed to make it to London. She knew she still had the bad guys on her tail. Trying to get rid of them seemed a losing battle, and turning herself into the American Embassy, though an appealing idea, was out of the question. The only option currently available to her stood across the street with some blonde.

Vaughn was the only person in all of Europe she knew she could trust, but making contact would be difficult. She'd hoped when she lost radio contact with Weiss, that he'd have called Vaughn to let him know that she needed him but really, how irrational was that?! She didn't even know if they still spoke, especially about her.

It must be the pain.

She whimpered biting her bottom lip, to stop from screaming out loud. How much longer she could stay standing up with her eyes open was a mystery to her. She knew she was fast approaching the point of passing out and bleeding to death.

Please Vaughn, go straight home so I can follow. She whimpered again. Please go home.

"Come on Michael, Doug's meeting us at the Grocery Store," the blonde woman said, dragging him away from the guards and across the street toward Sydney.

"Shopping?" Syd groaned. "What the hell are they doing shopping on a night like this?"

"I don't know why I have to go shopping. It's not my party," he grumbled playfully as he passed within 2 feet of Sydney's hiding place. Sydney thought she'd never forget how wonderful his voice sounded and hearing him now sent shivers up her spine. Smiling to herself, despite the pain, she thought she could smell his cologne.

Suddenly Vaughn stopped and looked around, almost directly at her hiding spot.

"Michael? Are you okay?" the blonde asked.

"Fine Em. I just had the strangest feeling is all," he shrugged his shoulders and they continued down the street away from Sydney.

TBC