Mary-Sue lay curled up on her pink-and-frilly-and-ever-so-girly bedspread in her pink-and-frilly-and-ever-so-girly nightie. She was reading the Lord of the Rings for the gazzilioneth time. Naturally, she had done her homework the moment she got home, so she didn't have to worry about a thing. Her mummy called out that it was time for bed and Mary-Sue was very good and got into bed straight away without any fuss. She was just putting her Lord of the Rings book down on the bedside table when it happened. It started when she looked at the ring on the front cover that appeared to be spinning. Wow, thought Mary-Sue, I must be very tired. I must now go to sleep. But before she could roll over and do just that she found she was tumbling down an endless crevass. She felt very much like Alice. Then she landed with a soft 'thump' in a very-girly-but-not-revealing position. A few seconds later a old man came round the corner. At first Mary-Sue was scared because he was wearing a big grey dress and a big grey hat and he had lots and lots of grey hair and a big grey beard but then she relised who he was. Following him were four little people who rushed up to her and said "Hello, we are hobbits and we want you to go all motherly on us despite the fact that we are supposed to be about fifty years old and have cared for ourselves up to this point perfectly well." After that four other people came round the corner. They were all very stunned and the perfect and incredibly sexy girl that had landed there. Of course they began to argure over who she would marry. Boromir said "Marry me, I'm the bad guy who turns good and I know that turns you chicks on." But Aragorn snorted and said "Ha! Marry me! I'm the rugged mountain guy and I'm a king. Come with me if you like the strong and silent type, despite the fact I've already got another girl who's giving up immortality to be with be. But then the last one said "Marry me because I'm a prince and I have flawless features* and I'm a real good archer and I'm very brave and I bet you that if you marry me then something special will happen meaning you'll be immortal too and then we will live happily ever after."

"Surely I must be dreaming." Murmed the dazed Mary-Sue.

"You are." And she woke up. She was very upset but she didn't swear. Instead she got up to bake cookies for the Royal Children's Hospital like a good girl.

*Author's Note: I do not think that!!!