Mary-Sue lay curled up on her black 'I hate God' bedspread in here black
skirt and 'Death to the Angels' t-shirt. She was listening to a song
called 'God is God' from the Blair witch project soundtrack. Naturally,
she had not done her homework for the past six years, so she wasn't going
to start now. Her mother called out that it was time for bed and Mary-Sue
replied, "Fuck off you stupid cock sucker!" and walked out of her room and
out the front door where her boyfriend was waiting on his motorbike.
Without bothering with a helmet they took off. A car turned the corner
and, blinded by the light, Mary-Sue's boyfriend crashed the motorbike into
a streetlight. Mary-Sue opened her eyes not to see the world she knew but
a grotty old man standing over her with a look in his eyes that told her
his interest in her was more then platonic. She whipped out her hidden
knife and held it out to stop anything he would try. That was when she
realised he was wearing a dress. "Aargh! Transvestite!" she screamed as
she scrambled to get away. Then a bunch of people who looked as though
they had shrunk in the wash and had hairy feet came round the corner,
followed by an ugly man who needed a shave and a haircut. He was carrying
a sword. Behind him was a weird person with bright red hair and an axe.
He too looked as though he had been stuffed into a washing machine.
Finally two people came around. One had short blonde hair and was carrying
a giant food platter that he was using as a shield. The other was a ditzy
blonde who was putting on mascara and muttering about how 'perfection has
costs'. "Who the hell are you freaks? And why am I here?" They all took
one look at her and then she realised that they could see up her skirt.
Standing up she repeated her question. "Listen baby, we don't know and
frankly, we don't care. So can you please move out of the way?" Said the
guy with the food platter.
"You don't know who you are? Jeez, you're even dumber then you look. And
believe me, that's saying something."
"There is a way to send you back." Said the transvestite.
"Oh yeah, and what would you know? Cross dressing loser."
"To get back where you came from you need to become happier then you've
ever been in your life. After you've done that you'll be transported back
to whatever world you live in."
"How do I know that you're telling the truth? And why would you want to
help me?"
"You can't blame him for wanting to get rid of you." Finally the people
behind Food Platter and Transvestite spoke. The person continued on. "I'm
sure you've noticed by now that I am incredibly gorgeous and I have found
that you girls are very turned on by me. I guess I'm what you call a 'lust
object'. In order to get rid of you I will, if I must, kiss you. That
will obviously give you so much pleasure that you will be taken back to
where ever you came from." He advanced towards her but on the way slipped
and fell off the cliff they were on. That's when Mary-Sue noticed that
they were on a giant mountain surrounded by snow. Up until that point she
had been to confused to notice. Mary-Sue had never felt happier. She
blinked and opened her eyes to the world she knew.
